computer man
@gloomfather
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Statuses
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オリンピック
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Christianity
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Cène
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#TENatWATERBOMBBUSAN
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DDAY YOU BETTA CATCH UP
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隅田川花火大会
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WTWGWS x MILKLOVE
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ONE WORLD ONE SKY
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世界遺産
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佐渡金山
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#男子バレー
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バレー男子
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#Olympics2024Paris
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ニッポン
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Vakko
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#アークナイツハニバ2024
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#withMUSIC
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Patrick HK Walk Vlog🫨
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Charlie Hebdo
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フルセット
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モンテス
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Dude you need to get yourself a cast iron skillet. its the exact same as other pans but way heavier and more expensive and you can't ever clean it for some reason
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Male friendships are chill af. No drama, no bullshit. Haven’t seen or contacted my best friend in 10 years
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Oh dude yeah you gotta try baking your own bread in quarantine. It takes 14 hours to do right and it’s boring as shit, but the results are often quite disappointing
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Just saw that new Batman. Glad they finally made a movie taking on society’s real villains: mentally ill guys with less than 1000 twitter followers
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Lol that’s funny dude. Reminds me of something one of my mentally ill twitter friends said several months ago.. hang on just give me 45 minutes to find it so I can read it out loud for you,
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I'm in elon musk's replies trying to get him to acknowledge the difference between communism and anarcho-syndicalism. he sends me a le troll face gif and thirty guys immediately DM me my own home address
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I've got no time for UFOs. Either identify the object or fuck off
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Hey guys sorry I haven’t been posting on here for a while. I accidentally drank a glass of water and am no longer dehydrated enough to understand what any of you are talking about. Take care,
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Peekaboo culture is so toxic. This dude just straight up disappeared behind his hands mid conversation and then shows up again like it’s no big deal? And yeah I’m giggling and it’s funny as fuck. But that does NOT make this kind of behavior okay
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White people will hear a herald angel sing and say some shit like “Hark!”
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Casting the first stone low key hits different when you are without sin 💅
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Texting my landlord “go to bed :-)” when he accepts my rent payment at 8:30 pm
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Hey dude try this hummus I just made. it takes a lot longer than just getting it from the store but it also tastes like shit
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(After any interaction with another human being) Lmao wow. wait until the 45 mentally ill guys I know from the computer hear about this
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If yall are still out here brushing your teeth, maybe it's time to start eating cleaner food. but yall aren't ready for that conversation
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Hate to say it but if 2024 is anything like this year then we’ve got another 12 months headed our way
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I bought my wife a barrel of oil for our anniversary months in advance and now i look like a fucking moron
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Hey man great post. all it needs now is a few unhinged replies from an extremely mentally ill stranger who thinks of you as a close personal friend
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(Showing you some stupid bullshit that sucks ass) and would you believe a computer made this
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Emailing my entire class "guess i'll go die :-/" at 1 am after a student criticizes my syllabus
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Drinking one sip of beer and texting my high school best friend “what happened to us…” then drinking a second sip and texting my wife “whaots up”
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Barbie and Oppenheimer. Well all I can say is the “Bar” better “bie” “Oppen” so I can say “hei” to a few “mer” ice cold beers!
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My main issue with the Irishman is that it centred the experiences of a relatively narrow demographic to the exclusion of many identities we’ve come to expect to see represented in modern film. There was no talking raccoon man, no tree man, no Robert Downey jr., the hulk,
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(Interrupting my wife’s zoom meeting) Hey babe I noticed you didn’t cut my blueberries in half when u made my snack earlier? I guess you want me to choke and die? (Noticing myself reflected in her webcam next to her coworkers) nightmare blunt rotation lmao
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Joe Rogan. Now there’s a guy we all love hearing about every day
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We all have that one buddy who has entered a new phase and we may not see until February
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Hate to say it, but if 2022 is anything like this year then we’ve got another 12 months headed our way
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Hey dude sorry I didn’t respond to your text sooner, I accidentally refered to eating lunch as “becoming lunchpilled” and my wife took my phone away
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Yeah I’ve got “HBO”…Huge Beer Open. And yeah. I think I’m about to “Discover”y another huge beer, in the fridge
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My wife is mad at me because most of the keys on my key ring don’t open anything. Uh yeah its almost like those keys are just for jingling? But go off
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(Checking out another man’s trash) hey dude are you done with that treasure
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Basically on Twitter you have two feeds. One for seeing posts from people you follow on Twitter, and one for distributing misinformation specifically designed to drive you insane. Pretty cool
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(Texting my nomadic buddy after one sip of ale) crops are so cringe lmao 😂 (taking another sip and texting my Neolithic buddy) I hope your harvest is bountiful af this year brother 🙏
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Some very toxic people in the replies are trying to gas light me into thinking that cast iron skillets are cheap and easy to clean. fuck off you trolls lmao
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Accidentally funged one my wife’s favourite NFTs while she was at work. Not good
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(Texting my na’vi buddy who is beginning to suspect I am a human) the tree of souls is so goated dude
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If a tree falls in the forest thats none of my business. Im on the computer
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Just ran full speed into this shit. So sick of fake friends…
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Just gaslighted my wife into letting me go to therapy. now I can finally develop tools and strategies to become even more toxic
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Great post man. All it needs now are 5 to 10 completely unhinged replies from blue check guys who seem like they’ve never interacted with another human being before
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Hey man I noticed you stopped manically deleting your low interaction posts. Is everything okay?
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Movie theatres have literally been showing you a rapid sequence of images and gaslighting you into perceiving motion for years. but go off I guess
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I’m beer pilled lol. Im in my cold beer era (I hear my wife’s keys in the door, signalling her return from work) alright gang let’s put a pin in this and circle back,
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Sorry babe tell your parents I can’t make it to dinner. Someone on the computer just said 30 rock has “ableist bisexual energy” and me and 45 of the most dehydrated guys on earth are teaming up to find their home address
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Lol that’s so funny man. Actually it reminds me of an extremely loud and obnoxious TikTok video, which I will show you now
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Yeah man twitter is fucking ruthless. You make one wrong move on here and 20 of the worlds most mentally ill guys are going to tease your ass
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Stewie👏 from 👏family 👏guy 👏should 👏be 👏voiced 👏by 👏someone 👏without👏 object 👏permanence 👏
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We all have that one toxic ass friend who will cover his face with his hands and completely disappear, only to reappear seconds later saying some shit about "peek of boo".... miss me with that lmao
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Its time to normalize holding a can of beer with both hands and wincing every time you take a tiny sip
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Me emerging from quarantine without having developed any new skills or interests
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Hey dude sorry for not responding to your texts last night I've just been so fucking sick of male voices dominating the discourse lately,
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Hey dude just wanted to say I’ve always loved your posts and I was hoping we could stay in touch when Twitter goes down. I’m outside your house btw
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(Whispering to avoid alerting my wife in the other room) whats up guys welcome to the first episode of my podcast
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hey man I just finished reading your novel. the bad news is it sucks ass. but the good news is I actually really liked it, due to my low IQ
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The duolingo owl is down bad for languages. he is language pilled lol [my wife taps the stopwatch on which she monitors my computer time] you guys are my best friends
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On some peekaboo shit with my boys. Object permanence twitter can fuck off
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Please stop sharing the cats trailer. cats only sing like that when they are in extreme distress
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Hey man sorry I didn’t respond to this DM sooner. My wife only gives me 35 minutes of computer time per day and I accidentally spent yesterday learning about a new type of sauce
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(interrupting a child singing the alphabet) dude this fucking slaps. did you write this
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That bollocks moment when a bloody legend becomes just another daft bloke…
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(seeing someone on here who liked one of my posts 7 years ago) that's my friend
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Lmao imagine smelling the blood of an English man and saying “fee fi fo fum” in 2019
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There should be one day per month where all dog owners are legally obligated to release their dogs into the streets and let THEM decide if they want to come home. but yall arent ready for that conversation
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Ladies if your man says he wants to cancel his student loans but isn't willing to become a Pell Grant recipient who starts a business that operates for three years in disadvantaged communities..... yeah, thats a red flag
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Hey man sorry it took me 4 days to respond to this text. I never had a chance to form my core identity, due to the pandemic
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Please stop making fun of the Pete Buttigieg dance. his supporters only dance like that when they are very sick
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Well son your mother and i are just concerned that you've been acting like a fucking boomer lately
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I hate when a director leaves an element of their film open to interpretation. It’s like uh I guess now I have to interpret something? Because you can’t do your job?
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(Whispering so as to avoid alerting my wife in the other room) hello and welcome to the first episode of my podcast,
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Hey man big fan of your podcast. I’ve been enjoying all the coded messages you’ve been sending directly to me on there. You want to grab a coffee sometime? I’m outside ur house
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Drinking one sip of beer and texting all of my buddies from high school “what happened to us…” Then drinking another sip and texting my wife “whaoup”
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Narcissistic guy experiencing empathy for the first time: getting strong Me vibes from you
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What I've been missing most these days is just hooting and hollering with the boys in the saloon and then immediately becoming eerily silent every time anyone walks through the door
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Hey my man check out this bread I just baked.. yeah it takes a long time to do, but the results are slightly worse than what you'd get at the store
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