po tay t’hoes
@ddddeanna
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Most time co-host of @WorstWeekYet . Part time smoke show, full time shit show. Sometimes a lady, more often a landmine. Bi girl with a broken brain.
Pittsburgh, PA
Joined January 2009
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Dudes be like “oh shit, you smoke weed?! We have so much in common!”
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Hot take: Getting an abortion *is* taking responsibility for your actions. Giving birth to a child that you don’t want and/or can’t provide for, co-created by a partner you don’t want to have in your life just to say you didn’t have an abortion is the irresponsible choice.
Aborting a baby because y’all really don’t like each other and you don’t want to take responsibility for your actions isn’t sitting right with me.
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@CharlieSosnick
Damn I’ve been doing Bourdain day wrong. One day every week I convince myself that any amount of material success or momentary joy will always be outshadowed by my depression and that I should give up on living. That kind of Bourdain day does not have mental health benefits.
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@ThePostsOffice
Eating all the major food groups at once is a big task and if im doing a big task i deserve a little treat. That’s where the side comes in.
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In the ER at one of the 20 best hospitals in America and I’m laying in “hallway bed
#33
” and I’ve been handled by one medical professional, one paid employee, and three *volunteers.* They reported $24 billion of revenue in 2021. As a 501(c)3 nonprofit, they are tax exempt.
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@Elliessay_
My husband and I have been together 9 years, i smoke every day he’s never smoked in his life. As it turns out having smoking weed in common isn’t enough haha 💁🏻♀️
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@kennedytcooper
Maybe she’ll disrespect a sacred indigenous religious site, awaken a dark force, and put us all out of our misery
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Just saw a confederate flag on a house in Alaska. My dude, you’ve gotta cross the border between the US and Canada *twice* before you can even think about the Mason Dixon line. The only thing you’re south of is Antarctica. Take that shit down.
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@Karnythia
I refused blood pressure medication as an anxiety treatment because I already have low blood pressure and intentionally lowering it would be dangerous so I got labeled a “drug seeker” because I kept saying I wanted an actual anxiety medication.
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@sahar_tartak
I think it’s the genocide of Palestinians that is most pernicious but go off you petulant child. The fact that you’re on the internet splashing around about menu items at an Ivy League college dining hall tells me how little danger you’re in, comparatively speaking.
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8/30/22 vs 8/30/23
I’m gonna be 34 on Friday. I gained 15 lbs this year. I wear SPF 50 now. I’ve taken to giving ice cold treatment to people who’ve wasted my warmth. One of them called me a cunt last week. I don’t care. Fuck you, I exist.
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I’m a long story long type bitch. Get a blanket. Grab a snack. You’re about to get coked-up-Stephen-King level details about something completely mundane and you better pretend to be riveted.
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This is what I picture when I hear the name Timothée Chalamet.
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@pikkkkaro
I don’t think two bullets will do it, they don’t have the battery life to make that many girls cum repeatedly. You’d get carpal tunnel trying to do it manually. This is definitely a reachargable vibrator situation at least if not a hitachi magic wand situation.
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without plaster casting any new vulvas, where is your mental health?
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@TheHoneyMa
Yeah like damn of course the child is their whole world, they lost everything else
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Their net income was over $1B in 2021. They occupy over 30% of the tax exempt land in the city. They OWN $2.2B of tax exempt property. They receive $40M of property tax benefits yearly. The CEO is paid $4M annually. Patients lay on beds in hallways and get care from volunteers.
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been fighting a heavy case of the sads all day and the girlies are tired. plz send memes, songs, pets, plants, or other digital encouragements thanks.
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@kennedytcooper
Abstinence is the only way to protect yourself from pregnancy and STDs! Being dead is the only way to protect yourself from being LGBTQIA!
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Imagine asking to speak to a manager and I’m the manager you have to speak to.
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20 vs 30; I definitely did *not* peak a decade ago
Saw a creepy tweet where a guy said that woman peak at 20. I beg to differ. 20 vs 29.
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So here I am crying in the airport and here comes A Nice Guy™️to save me. He says, “excuse me, you seem to be having a bad day. I wanted to let you know I’d be willing to give you a hug if you think it would help” as if being touched by a random man has ever improved ANYTHING.
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the older i get the more i understand why my dad would say “a fucking break” when we’d ask what he wanted for Christmas
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just did standup comedy for the first time ever at
@B4Fest
in Anchorage. I’m sorry, Alaska!!!!
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Got real stoned and went to a tittybar called the Wild Alaskan Bush Co.
I didn’t even know I had a bucket list, but apparently I do and now everything is checked off and I’m ready to die.
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This should be illegal
(This is the same person)
This should be illegal
(This is the same person)
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I was raised by a wholesome angel. Here’s my mom (70) talking about her sibling (63) who started the process of transitioning about 6 months ago. She fumbles they/them pronouns sometimes and she said “I will keep working on things. I will get there because my heart is willing.”😭
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You can say the most racist, homophobic, transphobic, awful, evil bullshit on this app, but I said “you’re wrong here, buddy” and it’s potentially harmful *and* offensive? Fuck off.
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charles is making the same face dogs make when you put them in embarrassing outfits
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i’d invite people over then gesture grandly and say “lettuce sit” every fuckin time
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maybe the real horror story was the men we met along the way
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Going to a social gathering that my former best friend who broke my heart will also be attending. Seeing as I am a vain piece of shit, please tell me I’m cuter than her. And funnier. And also more interesting.
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i wish my phone gave interesting stats, not just depressing ones. Like thanks i didn’t need an app to tell me i don’t sleep enough and look at screens too much. i need an app to tell me fun stuff like what percent of my day i spend singing stupid little songs to my dog.
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I am not a 33 year old woman, I am a 12,241 day old baby (which is why I’m always about to cry).
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do you think guy fieri says “next stop: flavortown” before he cums when he’s getting a blowjob?
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I’m too old to go HAM. I’ll be going feral hog from here out. Thanks for your support.
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the Geese Police called, babe. they’re coming to arrest you on suspicion of silliness.
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do you ever hurt your own feelings thinking about how someone else who hurt your feelings doesn’t even care that you’re hurt or do you have real hobbies?
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@slutpilled
100%
big dick energy or, as my mom once called it, “fat dick spirit” is about attitude not dick size
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a beanie is just a sock for your head which is, in fact, the foot of the neck. i will not be elaborating.
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The anxious urge to text your friend immediately after hanging out to say “I’m sorry if I was being weird” as a way to find out if they’re mad at you without asking them if they’re mad at you just in case they *are* mad at you and also too anxious to say so.
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A whole bunch of girlies went to the “men’s” bathroom. A man said, “whole of women identifying as men here.” I said, “I identify as someone who has to pee and last time I checked it all flushes the same.” He said, “not the urinal” so I stared into his eyes while I peed in it.
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@abby4thepeople
Okay enough to do an autistic deep dive on UPMC’s tax records while wondering why they wouldn’t provide an oxygen canula to a patient reporting shortness of breath and a history of pulmonary emboli then realizing it’s because it would get in the way cause I’m in the fucking hall.
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Yeah, I’m vibing* and unbothered,** so what?
* The vibes are bad
** I take 3 psych meds
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one hideously ugly & unhealthy left wing activist comin’ right up:
It's an important observation. Left wing activists are nearly always hideously ugly and unhealthy. The evil in their souls warps their physical exteriors.
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when i was in eleventh grade my boyfriend told me i had fat legs and then i straight up didn’t wear shorts again for 15 years. fuck you, pal. my legs are cute.
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@Karnythia
Let’s not even get into how race and culture influence the perception of “rude” and how rude isn’t a reason to let someone fucking suffer or die. Girl, you’re the ones who took the “first do no harm” oath, not the patients. The job isn’t to like people, it’s to provide them care.
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Not a man in his 50s coming up to me at the bar where I was minding my own business to make fun of my “giant phone case.” This is a Nintendo Switch, sir.
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Reporting live from a Comfort Inn in a city I’m not even supposed to be in after crying in an airport I arrived at 4 hours later than expected. Fuck it. I’m going to Alaska tomorrow.
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I don’t know for sure if vampires cum blood, but if they do it’s definitely called edraculation.
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Quite this tweet with a picture of when you just knew your body was fire
Quote this tweet with a picture of when you just KNEW your body was FIRE 🔥👀
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Those are some really cool bears you’ve got there, be a real shame if three goobers imitated them.
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Someone asked me my favorite book and I panicked and said “the thesaurus.” Why am I like this?
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there’s a billboard near my house that says “mixing uppers and downers can be deadly.” i drive past it on the way to the pharmacy where i pickup my doctor-prescribed combo of daily uppers and downers. 🙃
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When your therapist refers to one of your personality traits as a “symptom.”
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One thing about me is I’m gonna put two books in my carry-on and buy a third at the airport as a little treat, then spend my entire flight playing video games.
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I’d trade my left buttcheek to have the kind of brain that doesn’t break its own heart.
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It’s pop punk on the PA turnpike weather, i finally got new joycons, and the rona didn’t kill me so I’m ready to fight god aka my
#1
hater
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Just gonna take 2 hour baths every day while I wait for weather that will let me wear cute dresses and air dry my hair.
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very cool and normal to gain weight on purpose then feel weird about it. bodies are stupid, brains are worse.
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Some people get fake butts, fake boobs, fake lashes, fake lips, fake nails, or fake hair. Some people get fake serotonin. It’s okay. We’re all just trying to feel good and do Hot Girl Shit before the simulation collapses.
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Guess who has a bum lung, no spleen, and just got COVID for the FOURTH time?
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The banks got a bailout meanwhile my regular ass is out here like “maybe the daylight will save us?”
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“End of Days Travel Agency, how can I help you?”
“I’d like to take a vacation from this mortal coil to literally any other accessible coordinates on the space time continuum.”
“I’m sorry ma’am none of the other STC points are accepting American travelers due to COVID risks.”
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Executive function? Man I’ve barely got janitorial function.
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sideeyeing ‘potheads’ who only bring up weed on 4/20 the way my nunnie and her friends sideeye ‘catholics’ who only go to church on christmas and easter.
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Every president we have is the worst president we’ve ever had.
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I’m not apologizing for being late in 2022. I’m *not* sorry and I’m tired of lying about it to conform to a social standard I vehemently oppose. Nothing is so important that I have to lay prostrate at your feet for showing up at 12:40 instead of 12:30.
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I’m confused dude cause I look like this
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Not to be nsfw on main, but I hate that I have a degradation kink. As if admitting that I’m sexually attracted to men isn’t fucking degrading enough.
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As it turns out my 2016 vibe was, uh, the same. Bold lipstick, black clothes, big pizza, bisexual.
U don’t know someone till Uve seen what their vibe was in 2016
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I’m among the millennials who managed to claw my way into home ownership (because I’ve worked 2-3 jobs continuously for the last 18 years) which felt great until one day a drain started backing up into my basement and now I have to pull $25,000 out of thin air. That day is today.
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