dr. cucumber
@cumuncher
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mutual lover, pill crusher, cucumber. actual neuroscientist. no, really.
LA
Joined December 2014
(swishing cum around in my mouth) Low sperm count. Subtle notes of Sildenafil and minimal iron concentration. Persistent undertones of estradiol, likely breastfed until age 12. Must be. a 19.2 BMI white.
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Do NOT do this.
what if i told you that getting a matching tattoo with that boy off of twitter within 24 hours of meeting is actually the best decision you would ever make in your entire life
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in the lab, straight up curing it. and by “it”, haha, well. let’s justr say. Alzheimer's Disease.
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too late
One of my least-liked design elements of suburban design is this inaccessible landing I see in foyers. Any creative solutions for "staging" it out there?
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telling my one night stand to pick a special prize before leaving
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sorry he's going to see this no hard feelings it's a cute tattoo.
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Bouncing on it in a way that makes him ejaculate irresponsibly.
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growing out ur bush.
what are some girl equivalents to gestures like a guy opening a car door or carrying you over a puddle.
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too drunk to drive implies there is a level of drunk that is perfect for driving.
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being a boy on your birthday and hearing "there's the birthday boy!" must feel so good.
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starting a podcast called "green scare" where we smoke weed and freak the fuck out.
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every single evening at 5pm i have to decide how the rest of my night will go
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got a photo sticker printer for christmas time to print my favorite tweets
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what if i told you that getting a matching tattoo with that boy off of twitter within 24 hours of meeting is actually the best decision you would ever make in your entire life
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Yes you guessed it! My parents get taxed at a 37% rate (highest tax bracket).
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genuinely enjoying hearing from other scientists on this post :-) please i'd love to hear more!!.
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just got the call. fired. i was the DEI coordinator at alcoholics anonymous. i was in charge of making sure at least a few of the alcoholics were women.
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pretend you 12 and this the youtube search bar.
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'girthmaster' this 'girthmaster' that. i need the BIRTHmaster someone get me pregnant.
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(horniest i've ever been) i don't really understand the electoral college.
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ranking my mental disorders.1. adderall addiction.2. stealing from target.3. juul user.4. acid flashbacks.5. listening to trippie redd.6. 10pm bedtime or else.7. urges to drink the floodwater.8. moldy cup in room.
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feminine ways to communicate
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Ohhh husband. You bet too much money on Draft Kings . Now we are homeless.
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Hate it when a semi-truck on the highway tries to pass another semi-truck & they go the same speed for a good 10 seconds Bro your hubris is rather unbecoming.
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@emptytesticles while i have been known to knock shit over i can assure you i do roll up my sleeves to an appropriate length while in the hood.
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how hard do you think it would be to make her anorexic.
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you run the animal account Bitch you tell me.
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Whenever my plug doesn't respond fast enough I chew on this old prescription pill bottle until he answers
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i think now is the perfect time to give this one another shot
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men hate it when i sit pretzel style while using cruise control.
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Just me, my tupperware container of water, and the open road. heh, the lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night, huh
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if you're gonna hit on me do it in replies. say it with your chest. enough of these dms. in the town square, like god intended.
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i think being into sports betting is a negative morality indicator. like i just know you're a bad person.
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@JacksonKin82532 Ok princess would you prefer i buy you some chicken tenders and a plain burger since u wanna be PICKY.
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idk. it's just that your brain cells look like stars in the sky and there's so much beauty in being alive.
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