John Walker IIl
@JohnDadof7
Followers
4,658
Following
536
Media
308
Statuses
2,586
#1 white boy in the Big 10. Aspiring alcoholic and addict. Connoisseur of weekday beers. Can bench 295. Enjoys UV 8+. Iowa Hawkeye fanatic. 23 on ACT. #Hawkeyes
Joined April 2022
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There’s no place in sports like this. Idc if my son’s 4 or 14 if he gets beamed in the helmet he’s saying nothing but fuck you on his way to first base. I’ll teach him all the slurs before he gets to 3
This Oklahoma little leaguer got hit in the head, and then walked out to the pitcher’s mound to let the pitcher know that he’s going to be okay.
If you’re going to watch something today, it should be this.
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Cranked hog and had a chick fil a sandwich by 8:30 am today. Hot start to the weekend.
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Men can’t have shit nowadays. Only a week into summer and already lost it. White boy summer activated, jokes on you Grace, drinking is a hobby and a hobby I’m good at.
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DraftKings has this man at -670 to be a virgin at 21
This is what a proud Biden supporter looks like.
I’m 21 years old and I can’t wait to vote for Biden this year 💙🇺🇸
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O Block Barbie
i need a new name now that i’m in chicago lol something cute that is catchy like Bayou Barbie 😭👀
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Gonna schedule “bag?” texts every Saturday now
iOS 18 will allow users to schedule text messages to be sent.
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If you guys were my pledges I’d lock you in a closet with a bottle of Tito’s and give u 45 minutes to finish it or you can’t leave the closet for 48 hours
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I pray that what happened to Gia Duddy happens to Livvy Dunne
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Walked into this fine establishment today and said “you know Howie?” And he before he could respond I said “Howie doinnnnnnn”. Then put the 12er on the counter
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Gonna open a college bar when I’m older and have a weight scale at the entrance for women. Gotta be under 140 to enter or $50 cover. Guys go for free
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Driving a car before 12pm the day after you blacked out should be illegal. Just ran 2 red lights and didn’t even see a stop sign. Stumbled my way into Subway just to get a footlong cookie
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Bosh… back out to Allen… shut the fuck up I’ll piss where I want. Thanks
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Rockstar shit. Same Indian gas station guy just sold me my 3rd 12 pack in 24 hours. Starting to get a “what’s up buddy” when I walk in. Cant beat this diet
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Whole ss before this was her bein all furious. Use this as a how to not text a hungover women since she just blocked me.
#SeeYaKylie
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Gonna get fried off my ass, have a couple (6) beers, and play PGA on xbox until 2am. I would HATE to be a woman right about now.
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Bryson DeChambeau is the perfect male athlete for 16-30 year old straight white guys to love
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Eggs and ground beef? No seed oils. Yea I’m white and this is my summer, thanks.
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Keeping these Ole Miss 2028 boys in their place. Got that 2nd dude rattled so fast he had to start apologizing 🤣🤣. Just the start…
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That whole academic weapon sit in the front of class bullshit is fraudulent. Give me the very back of a double decker 600 person lecture so I can check CFB lines and lose money on the live casino.
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Caddyshack hungover kind of morning. Not moving from this spot unless its for killing myself
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Exactly what I didn’t need to be told tonight. Sunday scaries are now an all day thing
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Buddy called me a degen for drinking on a Wednesday at noon. How about 9am on a Monday Jack? -18 in round 2 of FedEx championship btw.
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Pray this dude gets on campus and asks around for “John Walker”. Got his ass saying “my bad I need to chill” about his grammar. Class act
Keeping these Ole Miss 2028 boys in their place. Got that 2nd dude rattled so fast he had to start apologizing 🤣🤣. Just the start…
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Any broads like a sunburnt white boy who shows up to his 4pm shift buzzed? Yea let’s have a Friday
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This kid is so fair game. Yes I am bored, no I do not attend Ole Miss. YES am I about to dive into this kid. Yes, I am on my burner instagram DM’ing him…
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Sister ran a half marathon today. In the time that she ran 13.2 miles and killed her body for the next week I’ve had 7 miller lites and got a chest and back pump. Safe to say I’ve had a better Sunday
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Hope this stupid wench enjoyed my $.53 tip after taking 13 minutes to come to me for drinks. 20 people there and she was doubling down on certain people before I said something
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People out here getting addicted to drinking alcohol and doing drugs, I do em everyday and I’m not
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Let me do one better and say it to him.
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Blocked my liberal sister for today. Cant have her see what I have to say on basketball American day
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Generational fumble last night so I got as drunk as can be and I guess I asked my uber driver if he had a gun so I can kill myself
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Did it chat. 36 ultras dropped in 2 nights. Shoutout the bag for keeping me up until 5:30AM. That’s how you crush em down. Lost 4 NCAA 25 games on the way to finishing the 3 12ers. Not my game.
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If it came down to picking this guy or my best friend to die, I’d pick my friend. Ain’t nothin like bein 20 and not having to pull out the fake in your hometown.
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Bitch wife was acting up again today. Like the can says “beer never broke my heart”. On the way to play 9.
#Saturday
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Just when you thought I had a burner for everything, i pull out the burner phone number
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Monday update: gym crush and I talked for 25 minutes today. Asked her why she doesn’t go out, she replied “I’ve been dating a guy that’s a psycho about me going out” … didn’t what to say so I hit her with a “Fade him, sounds like a dork”. Survive another day.
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OG Kodak on Aux, candles to clean the air, 11am pre class stews, and Pat McAfee show. Let’s have a Thursday
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Heard and saw about 30 “hey brother ☝🏻☝🏻” last night at the bar. Girls continued to ask what that means. God I love being a guy.
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Forgot my headphones for leg day. Just stole some random dudes AirPods from lost and found and said they’re mine. Thanks David. Fuck you David.
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Ticket guy wasn’t even confused when you bought 2 tickets for yourself
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Bring back slavery but keep Juneteenth for a day off in the middle of the work week
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They let me get to Friday. 10AM stews. ZB on the speaker. Like 2 million views on tweets this week. Making 2028 kids my children. As Lil baby once said, “life is amazing it is what it should be”
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Got shitfaced, got doxxed, got harassed in the bar last night. Dont care, wake up and im at work by 8:45. Survive and advance.
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Shoutout all the girls that rock a vsco link in their instagram bios. Yall are top tier
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What a special app this is. Might be the best 1-2 punch I’ve ever opened this app too.
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About to go around campus and pull the glasses off fat girls
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Mood if any of these Ole Miss 2028 kids decide to entertain me and respond.
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5/17/24 recap
- 20 miller lites crushed
- 2 naps
- 1 “get the fuck out of my wife’s personal bubble”
- 1 “You lil ass white boys think you’re all that”
- 1 backyard I shit in on my walk to the bar
- 2 times cranking hog (both before 1pm)
- 5 instagram stories liked
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@MoeJazulla
What if I didn’t call the Mexican kid a beaner sophmore year of highschool and didn’t get suspended for 2 games
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Deciding to go sober for a little while. Not gonna hit the bag until tomorrow but still plan on drinking tonight
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@BabyGronk5
I might flip some fentanyl to baby gronk if I see this stupid shit one more time
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Need a girl to grab my Johnson the way I grab my first beer out of the fridge on a Friday night
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@BockoCocko
2 sets of crushing up adderall followed by 2 sets of snorting the lines. Gotta stay focused all through the day.
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Are you friggin kidding me. Mom doesn’t want to head to the beach for 45 minutes so I figured I’d start without her. Cooler is set up and ready to go, 10 ultras, 4 millers, 2 high noons and 2 turkey sandwiches. Day 5.
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Bringing the bag to a family event. Thoughts gentlemen?
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@incognitoStunna
Watch out anybody with a voice that sounds like you should be on Ozempic or you’re from across the border
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How does one rip bag during golf while sharing a cart with his sister
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Day 6 check in. Went to the pool today since it cold today, lake water was too cold. Enjoyed the bag and 10 ultras. Heading to the shower then out to dinner. More hot girls today at the pool and was scared to even look their way.
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Favorite part about election season is walking home from the bars canned at 2am and stealing signs off people’s yards then putting them all on one random house. Sorry 3684 W 122nd street today you are a republican, democrat, and independent
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This will be my last 10 days on this account. I appreciate the follows and all but it’s time to step down. Thank you, John.
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Notified a girl at said trade school I’ll be there and she told me that she’s on meds at the moment and “is going through it” idgaf can I come over at 2:30 to tap or what Grace
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11am. Is this not the life. Saving some banquets for the debate tonight. I lost this 50k hand by the way
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Sorry mom I’ll celebrate you another day. It’s 80 and sunny with a UV of 8. I have killer lites to crush and a tan to get.
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My buddy got a 30 on his ACT freshman year of highschool. I took it for the first time senior year on a Saturday morning and got a 19.
#FFOTD
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Are you friggin kidding me. About to get so tan I might forget how to swim.
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I snitched on a dude 2 years ago and landed him 7 felonies. (No jail but owed the city 100k in damages). Saw him last night at the bar and had no backup with me so I walked 4 miles home
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Got jaw’d after this video for videoing this. Too good of a video not to post. This fucking f
@g
called me a dork. Yep buddy ur right fist tasted like a fucking 5 course meal on how soft it tasted
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The fight is still on. Not sure what this beer is called because my sister bought me it since they didn’t want my fake to get taken. Had 12 at the pool earlier and ripped a line for a wake me up. Parents saying I don’t need to drink this much just to enjoy my vacation. Lies.
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Officially on EST for the first time in over a year. Vacation begins now. Waitress asked “are you guys both 21” and my mom instantly goes “well I am”. Completely sold me out of getting some beers in me early.
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The left is busy protesting and trying to make
#45
not have a comeback. Meanwhile I’m enjoying my killer lites and eggs with a side of Vitamin D.
#StayWokeLibs
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@Teasertheunder
No cover and no scale for them, if they show a fake ID then we confiscate and if they want it back then it’s $50.
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@halleemah
Was it hard or just regular a? That was also 18 years ago so it happens. Times have changed. Win some, lose some. You lose this one
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