#1
white boy in the Big 10. Aspiring alcoholic and addict. Connoisseur of weekday beers. Can bench 295. Enjoys UV 8+. Iowa Hawkeye fanatic. 23 on ACT.
#Hawkeyes
There’s no place in sports like this. Idc if my son’s 4 or 14 if he gets beamed in the helmet he’s saying nothing but fuck you on his way to first base. I’ll teach him all the slurs before he gets to 3
This Oklahoma little leaguer got hit in the head, and then walked out to the pitcher’s mound to let the pitcher know that he’s going to be okay.
If you’re going to watch something today, it should be this.
Men can’t have shit nowadays. Only a week into summer and already lost it. White boy summer activated, jokes on you Grace, drinking is a hobby and a hobby I’m good at.
If you guys were my pledges I’d lock you in a closet with a bottle of Tito’s and give u 45 minutes to finish it or you can’t leave the closet for 48 hours
Walked into this fine establishment today and said “you know Howie?” And he before he could respond I said “Howie doinnnnnnn”. Then put the 12er on the counter
Driving a car before 12pm the day after you blacked out should be illegal. Just ran 2 red lights and didn’t even see a stop sign. Stumbled my way into Subway just to get a footlong cookie
Rockstar shit. Same Indian gas station guy just sold me my 3rd 12 pack in 24 hours. Starting to get a “what’s up buddy” when I walk in. Cant beat this diet
That whole academic weapon sit in the front of class bullshit is fraudulent. Give me the very back of a double decker 600 person lecture so I can check CFB lines and lose money on the live casino.
This kid is so fair game. Yes I am bored, no I do not attend Ole Miss. YES am I about to dive into this kid. Yes, I am on my burner instagram DM’ing him…
Sister ran a half marathon today. In the time that she ran 13.2 miles and killed her body for the next week I’ve had 7 miller lites and got a chest and back pump. Safe to say I’ve had a better Sunday
Hope this stupid wench enjoyed my $.53 tip after taking 13 minutes to come to me for drinks. 20 people there and she was doubling down on certain people before I said something
Did it chat. 36 ultras dropped in 2 nights. Shoutout the bag for keeping me up until 5:30AM. That’s how you crush em down. Lost 4 NCAA 25 games on the way to finishing the 3 12ers. Not my game.
If it came down to picking this guy or my best friend to die, I’d pick my friend. Ain’t nothin like bein 20 and not having to pull out the fake in your hometown.
Monday update: gym crush and I talked for 25 minutes today. Asked her why she doesn’t go out, she replied “I’ve been dating a guy that’s a psycho about me going out” … didn’t what to say so I hit her with a “Fade him, sounds like a dork”. Survive another day.
They let me get to Friday. 10AM stews. ZB on the speaker. Like 2 million views on tweets this week. Making 2028 kids my children. As Lil baby once said, “life is amazing it is what it should be”
5/17/24 recap
- 20 miller lites crushed
- 2 naps
- 1 “get the fuck out of my wife’s personal bubble”
- 1 “You lil ass white boys think you’re all that”
- 1 backyard I shit in on my walk to the bar
- 2 times cranking hog (both before 1pm)
- 5 instagram stories liked
Are you friggin kidding me. Mom doesn’t want to head to the beach for 45 minutes so I figured I’d start without her. Cooler is set up and ready to go, 10 ultras, 4 millers, 2 high noons and 2 turkey sandwiches. Day 5.
Day 6 check in. Went to the pool today since it cold today, lake water was too cold. Enjoyed the bag and 10 ultras. Heading to the shower then out to dinner. More hot girls today at the pool and was scared to even look their way.
Favorite part about election season is walking home from the bars canned at 2am and stealing signs off people’s yards then putting them all on one random house. Sorry 3684 W 122nd street today you are a republican, democrat, and independent
Notified a girl at said trade school I’ll be there and she told me that she’s on meds at the moment and “is going through it” idgaf can I come over at 2:30 to tap or what Grace
I snitched on a dude 2 years ago and landed him 7 felonies. (No jail but owed the city 100k in damages). Saw him last night at the bar and had no backup with me so I walked 4 miles home
Got jaw’d after this video for videoing this. Too good of a video not to post. This fucking f
@g
called me a dork. Yep buddy ur right fist tasted like a fucking 5 course meal on how soft it tasted
The fight is still on. Not sure what this beer is called because my sister bought me it since they didn’t want my fake to get taken. Had 12 at the pool earlier and ripped a line for a wake me up. Parents saying I don’t need to drink this much just to enjoy my vacation. Lies.
Officially on EST for the first time in over a year. Vacation begins now. Waitress asked “are you guys both 21” and my mom instantly goes “well I am”. Completely sold me out of getting some beers in me early.
The left is busy protesting and trying to make
#45
not have a comeback. Meanwhile I’m enjoying my killer lites and eggs with a side of Vitamin D.
#StayWokeLibs