steve buscemi’s anal bead
@catholic_victim
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Following
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Packers | Gophers | bridges cranes and tunnels | herpes/hernia survivor | Wolverhampton | Tegridy Farms | Coco Gauff Superfan
Isle royale national park
Joined April 2020
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These once great soldiers will be buying my chipotle today
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@CrimeWatchMpls
Just imagining myself confused as fuck stepping over all them on my way to Panda Express
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@tomizzogoat6969
Dude bought the worst seat in the house and is complaining about not being able to see shit😂
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You look like that hot fish from shark tale
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There are many people, places, and things that have let me down at some point in my 23 years of life. Lions Tap is not one of them
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Being super gay with your friends is the straightest thing you can do
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Some sad news in the SBAB family today. My fish, Bronn of Blackstone, killed himself while I was at work today. No note, nothing. Gonna take some time to reflect on what I could’ve done better
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My dream is to open a beer hall (think Ovella Negra in Barcelona). Location tbd. Beer towers. A lot of focus would go into finding the best beer snacks to have while drinking as well. Would have to find ways to deter the craft beer community because they would ruin the vibe
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I will be killing myself live on instagram in 10 minutes
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I just had to share this cuz it’s the best birria I’ve ever had
📍la bodega taco bar, Uptown
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I started an investigation into this piss splotch on my bed. Main culprits are me myself and I. No eyewitnesses as of now but the girl that was here leaving suddenly at 6 am allows me to narrow it down to her or I. I’d lean me I think
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Sitting alone at the kk eating $1 grilled cheeses and pounding personal pitchers watching my bets lose. I would say this is rock bottom but it’s the happiest I’ve been in a long time
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Starting to get word from sources I was retarded last night. Shocking
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Everybody wish me luck on my date 🤞. Hope I don’t say anything too out of pocket and hope I don’t freeze up and get scared🤞big boy pants on
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I’m getting a buzzcut if the twins win tomorrow
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It’s baby Friday and we’re tapping in with mom. Let’s just say the left will not be ecstatic about this one
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How do I tell my parents I pissed the hotel bed our first night here
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R*dy G*berts personal assistant just tried to act like I should be in awe of him “idk if you follow the timberwolves but he’s Rudy gobert one of their best players” I chuckled a bit and replied “idk if you follow the burnerverse at all but I’m Steve buscemis anal bead”
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People I hate:
-Pedestrians
-People who drink water out of blender bottles
-people who wear wife beater to the gym (they usually walk funny too)
-people who park their car in random places and just throw their hazards on thinking that solves the problem
-anyone under 15
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Wearing Hey Dudes to the office should get you fired on the spot
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If there are no Christian Braun haters left in the world, that means I am dead
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🚨BREAKING NEWS OUT OF DINKYTOWN: I just saw Darius Taylor walking and asked if he’s gonna play. He chuckled and said “yeah”. Big, big news ahead of Thursdays opener
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They said I couldn’t find bag in Dubuque Iowa. They were wrong
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Some triple crane action to start our Wednesday. Not too shabby
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If ur into hot freshman sallys is buzzing rn
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Broken heel, scary deathly hungover, visibly shaking at brunch with parents. This could very well be the worst day of my life. Ts and Ps appreciated
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Beginning to think I was lied to this whole time. Post grad so far has been just as, if not more fun than college
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Honestly, I often forget how many great, supportive friends I have if I actually need them. U guys are awesome
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HAHAHAHA LETS GOOOOOO
NEWS:
#Gophers
big man Treyton Thompson has entered his name into the NCAA Transfer Portal.
Made 8 starts this season, averaging 2.1 points and 2.4 rebounds per-game.
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No tiësto for me too old and lame. Order of operations:
Smoke
Jerk
Watch new TMNT
bed
Ain’t much but it’s honest
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🎶slow downnn you’re doing fine, you can’t be everything you wanna be before your time🎶
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Have you been drinking today sir?
Nope just coors light today
Okay carry on sir
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This tree right here is just as alive as I am. This world is pretty cool, try to pay attention to little things that you typically overlook on a day to day basis. Makes you think and broadens your perspective
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Startin to get real fuckin tired of being retarded
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@i_need_top
@coochieman68
Thank god you wrapped ur little wee wee both times u got head on the street from that random French boy. Phew😮💨
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Cigar in one hand. Drink in the other. Music playing. Sitting alone on the deck no thoughts in my mind just watching the trees sway and taking it all in
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Was drunk thinking of a final essay topic last night for my robots class and ended up choosing to write about how transformers is a representation of world war 2 and megatron is hitler and Sam witwicky is Jesse owens
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Every day I wake up I get the urge to make an excessive amount of bacon
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@i_need_top
The new guy always get one free pass for getting a little too touchy in the office. Take advantage
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@TheTennisLetter
Everyone wasting their time watching the wnba while there’s real women’s sports on
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Happy to announce I officially have a favorite beer: castle danger cream ale
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Anybody that calls themself a glue guy is most certainly not a glue guy
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Kid in my class just walked in wearing a teddy bridgewater Vikings jersey, shorts and slides and his only possessions are a Subway footlong and a bag of Doritos. What a fucking beast
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I used to be a piece of shit. Pornstache, mullet, rum n cokes at Sally’s. People can change
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Tonight:
Drink
Blow
Where you are - Zedd remix
Kiss my buddies
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Thankful for this community of unhealthy degenerates that let me know I’m not the only one. All love team🤞
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Getting head from an anteater would go dumby
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My life is in absolute shambles. I miss freshman year when Sarah was my mommy and took care of me. I guess it’s good that she got to practice on me cuz she’s an actual baby momma now
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I cannot wait to see the look on the innocent freshman’s face when we take over Sally’s today. It will be mayhem. Go home kids it’s the adults turn
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Okay fine. I will eat my free beef b cheddar from arbys and then hit legs immediately after and report back to let you guys know how it goes
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Bathroom attendant in Cabo saw me puke a little on myself and just kicked a kid shitting out of the stall so I could puke in the toilet. Not all heroes wear capes
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Kinda realizing I don’t have much (any) grit anymore. Think I need to go on a 72 hour bender with very minimal food to prove to myself I still got it
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“I touched it. I touched the ball before it went out coach” Shut the fuck up retard no one fucking cares. Worst commercial ever of all time
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If you haven’t been to O’Hare recently I’m here to remind you that this place is a fucking shithole
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I joked about having an Asian fetish for so long I actually developed one
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Virtual mass is awesome cuz I can just drink Busch lattes the whole time in my yeti. s/o omicron for tricking everyone into thinking this fake virus matters
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Fun Spanish class today. We played jeopardy and some guy came out as gay
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Should have the patriots play the redskins every year on thanksgiving
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Started the day in a k-hole at Club Space and ended it watching garrix and guetta close ultra. Holy shit what a day
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I guess life isn’t all bad all the time. Barca airport knows we’re kings and treats us as such. Ibiza✈️soon📈
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National girlfriend day can fucking kill itself
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Gonna start going to AA meetings to meet girls so we actually have something in common
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Quidditch but there’s a bag in the snitch that the team rips that night before going out
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