Cap’n Scoot
@captscoot
Followers
424
Following
686
Media
292
Statuses
8,382
A deconstructionist Jezebel supporting the Whore of the Potomac. Unique and so brave.
Joined January 2023
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Beirut
• 685907 Tweets
الاهلي
• 624359 Tweets
#TGS2024
• 165284 Tweets
الزمالك
• 147841 Tweets
Acapulco
• 109846 Tweets
Tigers
• 96615 Tweets
マクゴナガル先生
• 86278 Tweets
Miami
• 68678 Tweets
東京ゲームショウ
• 57597 Tweets
#SmackDown
• 49074 Tweets
Towns
• 45965 Tweets
Naomi
• 37627 Tweets
Knicks
• 27043 Tweets
Melo
• 17292 Tweets
Chucky
• 16439 Tweets
Randle
• 15856 Tweets
White Sox
• 14701 Tweets
#DesafioXX
• 14210 Tweets
日本破壊クソメガネ
• 14055 Tweets
Laso
• 12789 Tweets
10 AÑOS CON KARIME
• 12777 Tweets
#PowerOfGodsWords
• 10975 Tweets
Timberwolves
• 10685 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
I’m starting a list of words that will require a license to use when I abolish free speech:
1. Settlers
2. Colonizers
3. Accountability
4. Sapphic
Check back for more.
1
0
0
@doxie_gay
It’s actually very soothing that I know I will never get wrapped up in a horror movie scenario. I am killing myself before you can kill me. I promise.
1
30
808
@willchamberlain
@derrickvanorden
@CurtisHouck
What a weird hill you’ve chosen. Step-parents are parents. You think choosing to raise your partners children means you don’t have “skin in the game”?
4
3
712
@MattWallace1701
@MichaelStahlke
You called in a favor and inconvenienced everyone so that you could film yourself making a u turn?
1
1
582
@chillextremist
This captures such a great intersection of life. The pureness of children who have just started swearing.
0
3
485
@sergioa94679493
I don’t understand how the Jews are the ones running Hollywood in order to distract everyone from their world domination but also are the only ones who are telling you the truth through their Hollywood movies.
108
17
406
@thebravobabe_
I think most of the cast only has VPR going for them and it’s coming to an end. They need Ariana to bring the drama and she isn’t bc her mental health isn’t a plot line and now has more opportunities to focus on. So the cast is resentful and has their drama arrows pointed at her.
10
2
344
@triptoyourshore
He is part of the Taylor Swift lore now. He’s her first boyfriend that also has numbers and colors and codes that fit into her well established coded universe. It’s really not that deep or hard to understand.
3
2
261
@offbeatorbit
You know what the best part about other people’s kid is? They aren’t yours. It’s literally not your problem. You can just walk away.
1
7
209
@MythicHonorific
@dieworkwear
White men: if you want to work here, you have to wear a suit.
Nonwhite man: can I wear traditional dress?
White men: no this isn’t a fashion show, it’s a law firm.
Nonwhite man: *wears suit*
White guy online: 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😠😠😠😠😤😤😤🤬🤬🤬CULTURAL APPROPRIATION
1
4
200
@AriDrennen
It’s really crazy that she killed the dog and then enjoyed it so much that she decided to kill another animal.
3
2
155
@CantEverDie
@Frank_C_T
I cannot even begin to wrap my head around your thought process here.
4
0
148
@NeeNeinNyetNo
This is *literally* exactly what your side asked for. Like not even 3 days ago.
4
0
131
@TayvisHeaven
I was thinking to myself Ross should probably turn around and then that man just straight up left. That’s so funny
0
1
108
@TayvisHaze
We love a gigantic man that can cry with his boys while his girlfriend sings love songs to him in front of 70k people.
1
5
107
@queensofbravo
Not to be a scheana but I also have a dead dad. Why is no one talking about that.
4
2
102
@SweetTayPie0104
All of my friends across the pond say they don’t care and no one’s talking about it :(
3
0
82
@HerbieZiskend46
@Acyn
@FoxNews
The GOP feigning outrage over him being in Delaware is quite rich when they’ve had the House of Representatives shut down for weeks.
1
6
83
@moonlithoax
But that weird freak online told me no songs are about him because they aren’t even dating.
2
0
83
@sur_rules
The most shocking part of this clip is that Tom kept his mouth shut and didn’t do either his exceptionally weird forced laugh or jump on the opportunity to shit all over Lala
3
0
75
@Calliope13
Every time I see elaborate Easter egg theories I think about how my mom had 4 kids over 12 years, named them all completely different things, and 20 years later learned that by pure chance all the names can translate to mean the same thing. Some stuff really is just coincidence.
2
0
76
@offbeatorbit
I also think there’s just been a consciousness-raising since then, there’s more nuance to the comparison than is being considered.
0
0
69
@justplainzack
And we’re not talking about Season 12 because her cosplaying as a producer crashed and burned.
1
0
70
@rothschildmd
Watched a snuff film on his own app and then promoted it on his own app so that he could do racism.
1
2
63
@anyamrch
“You can be gay, no one cares, you just might be severely punished for it if the authorities find out”
0
0
62
@offbeatorbit
How bud light and football became left wing coded while crunchy homeschooling became right wing coded is a real trip.
1
3
65
@killlatay
The people saying that she looked visibly annoyed and miserable all night have to be watching a different movie.
1
0
61
@offbeatorbit
When I'm in the club, yeah I'm bumping that
365 party girl, bumping that
Shall we do a little key? Shall we have a little line?
Wanna go real wild when I'm bumping that
Meet me in the bathroom if you're bumping that
Are we sure Charli could write cruel summer lol
2
0
62
@atrupar
I quite honestly don’t know how you watch a whole night of optimism in barn burner after barn burner and then think, “the guy who talks about Hannibal Lecter, electrified sharks, and bird graveyard is the one who speaks to my interests”.
0
6
60
@tiff4mahogany
It’s also wild how quiet they were for like the last two weeks. They had a real mission accomplished vibe after Biden dropped out even though the war was still very much happening. It’s all performance.
2
1
59
@dieworkwear
I think Daniel here represents what’s wrong with the “free thinkers”. They have no objectivity and everything is viewed through a political spectrum where the reader anticipates being offended and therefore they are… regardless of what’s being presented to them.
3
0
57
@SpaghettiKozak
It’s kinda wild how this was almost immediately forgotten. Even by his very own “comrades”.
4
0
55
@offbeatorbit
Why does he talk like a cartoon character in an educational video for children????
2
0
57
@chiefstayvis
Jason said “we had the whole family down on the field. Me, mom, dad, and Taylor” 🥹
0
0
54
@BGOnTheScene
I reallllllllllly really don’t think it’s a good idea that we’re getting so loosey-goosey with the word ‘genocide’.
1
0
50
@JayinKyiv
I think it’s pretty powerful that in the midst of everything foreign and domestic, he opened the state of the union with Ukraine.
2
1
42
@biggawd1015
@CrocodileCam
As a black man from DC you’re telling me that you’re going to fight for the side that enslaved you and went to war the first time in order to be able to keep you enslaved?
7
0
40
@trouble_man90
@Shay___luh
They get very smug at the idea of bringing on four more years of trump but are afraid to do 4 hours at a trump rally.
1
0
40
1
0
40
@offbeatorbit
If Taylor wanted to write a song about doing coke in the bathroom at the club, I’m sure her pen game would show up.
4
0
39
@eeesssjjj
@amberrebekah
On his very own app that he’s trying to convince advertisers and normal folks is a safe town square. He didn’t call an all hands meeting to get any and all videos taken down. He boosted it.
3
1
39
@randymot4
What lead you to this prediction? Relying on an assumption that they care so much about the sanctity of the speakership? The same people who negotiated the power of the office away? And used that to out their own guy? And then made clowns of themselves trying to fill the job?
2
2
38
@justplainzack
Yeah babe. The episode just aired. Of course I’m talking about. You know what none of us are talking about? Season 12.
1
0
37
@justplainzack
“This is gross behavior. Instead, spend your energy supporting the people you like? Actively trying to HURT someone else’s source of income is sick behavior.”
4
0
37
@CantEverDie
@suninshades
You have dog brains if you say “it won’t be our fault if we get 4 more years of trump, should have earned our vote” and also say “I’m scared to spend 4 hours at a trump rally”.
1
2
37
@moonlitaqmrine
@KhanStopMe
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this and I think it’s the place where we’re naturally heading. We’ve become obsessed with labels to the point where they are losing value.
1
1
36
This is a genuinely good song
CHICAS streaming on Spotify and Apple Music now. Link in bio. Co-written and produced by masterminds
@greymusic
LFG!!!!!!
102
423
5K
0
2
35
@IwriteOK
Does this person think every restaurant has a vegetable garden and pasture out back?
0
0
34
@GilligansMemes
@butthisisshort
@JoeBiden
You tweeted this with your whole chest and that’s the only humorous part of any of it.
0
0
32
@KayanaRich
I dated a man like this. You could enter the home but you couldn’t walk further than the first two squares in your outside clothes. Clothes off, straight to the shower. One night I refused and he put a sheet on the floor for me to sleep. Long story short, he was a serial killer.
1
2
28
@sur_rules
I think she was doing productions bidding because she’s good at her job and wants that bag
2
0
32
@Ruesavatar
True story… my 90+ year old grandmother almost died last month because they accidentally had her on ozempic and she was starving to death.
5
1
32
@secretsqrl123
I think what you meant to say is that you don’t abandon allies and you don’t tell enemies they have free range to attack Europe without consequences. But you just haaaaaad to start your tweet with applause.
1
0
28
@randymot4
His first administration, where he was impeached for holding up military aid to Ukraine, is the evidence.
6
0
30
@SpaghettiKozak
What do people not understand about this? The ONLY reason aid to Ukraine is being blocked in Congress right now is because trump called Johnson and told him not to put it to vote. That’s it. That’s the reason.
4
1
30
@montes_j15
@biggawd1015
@CrocodileCam
I dont know, man. Me, personally? I wouldn’t fight for the side that enslaved me 150 years ago and has spent every decade since then trying to keep me as a second class citizen with their government policies.
3
0
29
@SophRossss
I am more disturbed by him looking good because I gotta deal with that now. Show me the lizard person again. Free me.
0
0
30