M A C ⭐️
@bigmac_mccarthy
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Following
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follow your dreams to the max, amen
Joined September 2022
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Behind every person who pretends to be autistic online is a deep history of thinking that liking alternative music makes you interesting
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Leftist comedy is just "I have a little dick, but I Love eating pussy... and I HATE injustice"
@Goodtweet_man
This is why conservatives struggle to produce good *comedy* - because their first instinct is to punch down. But to extrapolate it to all of art is too much
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Girls love to show you a photo of their mom being unimaginably hot in like 1991
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is Therapy the reason people talk like that? Any serious conversation I've had in the last year has been like talking to an HR document
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It is my birthday, if you think I'm cool here are some things I've made that I think are cool:
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If I married someone who later told me she had a "work husband" i'd kill her, him, everybody in the office and then myself
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I felt a shift in this eclipse. White boy summer has come early and will last 1000 years. The sun has broken from the cover of its envious moon and brought forth the Dawn of the Honky. Blessings upon us
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The first episode of my new podcast NICE w/
@Monty___Carlo
will be released on December 26th, 2023. Here's a look at what we've got cookin' before our first hour with
@OsoBlanc0
talking football hooliganism. Enjoy!
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I'm not in the business of telling anybody what they can and can't say but it is fun to see the "freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom from consequences" crowd getting hit by the boomerang here
this is genuinely batshit crazy man. what the fuck are we doing here?
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My girlfriend deleted all her social media and is handling it.... well
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We need to return to the style of economy where every business in town is locally owned and operated by a slightly anthropomorphized animal and i am a worm driving through the streets in my little car shaped like an apple
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I cut together (and soundtracked) a Kamala Harris Funniest Moments Compilation for my girlfriend's birthday
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I think what bothers me about the press for this album is that they're treating the Country Record as some sort of abrupt left turn rather than jumping on one of the biggest pop culture trends of the last 10 years
#COWBOYCARTER
is more than just an album; it's a manifesto—a mission to carve out space for Black women in a historically white male-dominated genre. With each thunderous beat and soaring melody, Beyoncé asserts her commanding presence, reshaping country music in her own image."
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He was racist 😌🎉
Big job interview tomorrow, hoping the hiring manager is racist🤞🏻
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Someone sent me this and I For Real thought it was a photo of me and not Lana's gay ex boyfriend this is fucking crazy
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Insisting upon a home birth so my wife can comfortably scream slurs during the delivery 💘
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Worth noting that the entire point of the cartoon is to draw the unicorn at the end, meaning any other conclusions drawn from this "data" just serve to distract from its end result 👹
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My new album "B" came out yesterday and has 5 new songs on it, one of which is "Blue Moon" featuring the lovely
@anymnesis
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Tenacious D must be deported immediately
There is no place in Australia for those who wish for the assassination of others.
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My grandfather got Blackface Trudeau Toilet Paper for Christmas
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Big job interview tomorrow, hoping the hiring manager is racist🤞🏻
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Craziest thing about an australian accent is that if you go there they all talk like that
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If a musician makes politics central to their being, it's just advertising. You're not "using your platform", you're flying a flag. This tweet itself is a good example
If you’re band doesn’t talk about the vast atrocities being committed against trans people, poc, women, working class people or the planet. You’re not a punk band, you’re a brand with a soundtrack
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The "boyfriend who is a little fruity" will die with the Ass era. The epoch of Huge Tits and the Homophobic Husband is upon us
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Went to the walk-in haircut place and now all the hairdressers are indian guys what tf happened to my pregnant smokers and terrifying serbian women????
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Anytime somebody is being weird on here I just assume that they are extremely drunk
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The "the other side isnt funny!!!" argument is a total trap But trust if i saw stavros halkias in public i'd harpoon him
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I wish it was like 1865 so I could marry this woman I only just met without my mom asking me a bunch of annoying questions about it
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Listening to eminem's Without Me, letting go of the wheel and raising both middle fingers as he shouts "fuck you debbie". my car drifts into oncoming traffic and is struck head on by a toyota tacoma, killing me instantly
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Quitting drinking is super easy as long as nothing good or bad is happening at the moment
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Pulling up to the nonbinary coffee shop in my MTV Jackass t-shirt and ordering an iced cappuccinx from somebody with a Modern Baseball tattoo
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Started calling my gf "Queen" as a joke maybe 6 months ago and now I say it more than her actual name. And its like 2:1
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I think I had like 18 followers when this came out so I would like to remind everyone that I make actual music and not just my cute little twitter covers. This is a song from my album "2" that came out on February 2nd
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Went to the art gallery today i said "show me somethin spooky"
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Indie rockers when they visit Chicago
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I remember sitting with my cousin in high school as she went thru her FB feed commenting like this on her friends selfies with a completely dead face like she was on line at the DMV
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My girlfriend is trying to quit nicotine for the very first time. Please pray for us both
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Would anyone like to come over and feel Bad in a specific way?
You get a theater for a day.
4 films. What are you showing? 🎟
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Say what you will about the people in the photo but this Confluence of Vibes is the ideal proportion for a romantic relationship
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My family trying to throw a surprise party for me today with the worst opsec possible, the whole operation has been compromised at this point by 4 different people including
@Monty___Carlo
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Wouldnt judge how anybody else lives their life but trust if I bust inside you even one time that's gonna take platonic friendship completely off the table
Life update: I’m getting divorced. After 9 years married, Lauren has accepted she's queer & not attracted to men. We remain best friends and co-parents, even as we start dating others. I'm awed by her newfound happiness. Burdens that we didn't know existed have lifted for her.
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People only hate The Office because everyone likes it and Everyone Likes It because it's good
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Told a joke earlier that didn't land so I figure best course of action is to think about it all weekend and consider setting myself on fire
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Listening to 90s gangsta rap because it makes me feel closer to my beautiful white girlfriend
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Handsome guys ruined moustaches. Let some of us be ugly or gay in peace
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Hello, my friends. Come in, have a seat. NICE 002 drops tomorrow morning, in which we discuss the good Dr. Berman and his Silver Jews with the esteemed
@truth_enjoyer
and
@GrillPillMax
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I think if you get too many likes on a tweet you should be a little embarrassed
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I would love to get all you guys together and see who separates into cliques and carries out psychological operations against the others
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Drink a beer with my girlfriend call that Cracking open a cold boy with The One
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My professor pulled up his Google Drive on screen today by accident and I saw two folders labelled "Buddhism" and "Bracelets"
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Turned around every book that i've actually read cover-to-cover and now my reading list is staring me down
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A real testament to the power of leftism that they even made Henry Kissinger Dying fake, gay, and annoying
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Had my first of 4 finals over the next 3 days, accepting any and all Thoughts & Prayers
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I think if I can make it a full year without dating a nurse I will probably be okay
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Being a 31 year old man who does not like the National has cost me so much
what's a band you hate so much despite being universally loved that it has you in this situation? no you cannot pick the Beatles
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This girl thick as hell.... drive me crazy..... call that Rump Derangement Syndrome
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Tomorrow! Me and
@Monty___Carlo
take a look back at some of our favourite things from 2023 and a look ahead to the coming year while I come down off 150mg of dextromethorphan hydrobromide. Here's a sneak preev:
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I write a new theme song for this show every week btw it's awesome
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Every morning you are given the choice to start your day with either a hot cup of coffee or a cold beer in the shower and this choice dictates the trajectory of your next 24 hours. Choose wisely, my friends
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You're describing every roommate i've had since like 2017
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I wasnt as cool as you guys
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I remember in middle school when my cousin's friend laughed at me for trying to learn Thunderstruck on the guitar.
Now I'm grown and it's not that hard to play and she's been in the local news twice for being addicted to heroin. Who's laughing now
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Tried to show my gf a sci-fi classic. Some people have no eye for cinema
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I love driving the speed limit, everybody gets so mad at you
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Tomorrow on NICE, our friend
@luso_brendan
sheds some light on the life and loves of The Chairman of the Board: the one and only Frank Sinatra.
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In tomorrow's episode of NICE, it's My Turn to be the insane guy on the podcast when I duct tape
@Monty___Carlo
to his gamer chair and explain Wilco to him for an hour
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I think what really bothers me with this account is that there's no Investigation, no Conclusions Drawn, not even any real accusations of Conspiracy. He's just broadly gesturing towards a loosely connected online friend group like "SEE??? They're all FRIENDS!!!"
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Just had to call the phone company customer service line and now as a result I will be extremely racist for the next 45-or-so minutes
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not sure that I love adding "Murdered Women" to the gay people acronym
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Gonna start chaining a wagon wheel to everything i dont want stolen
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David Cronenberg has Infinity Pool taped to the fridge right next to the macaroni art and grad pictures
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