big duntles
@biglunty
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Milton
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Florida
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DeSantis
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#ファミマのスイーツパン誕生
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物価目標
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Olave
• 13973 Tweets
standing behind the plumber like this the whole time he’s fixing the toilet
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not even joking when i say an update from these 4 every few years is a good way to study trouser fit trends. this represents the official death of skinny jeans for normies
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everyone slags off taylor for flying a 20 minute drive to beat the traffic yet the *very* same people laud wallace and gromit for launching a rocket all the way to the moon simply to get some cheese. once again a man can laugh while a woman has to chuckle
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lamine yamal getting his halftime team talk from this fella
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9 pints deep showing your mate the menu at your favourite kebab
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englands back 4 at the 2010 world cup
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no need to call people names is there
Grenade launching SPAS from 1980s French magazine.
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everything about him makes sense when you find out he used to be a rozzer. this head shape only exists in policemen
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didn’t take much for charli xcx’s true colours to shine through did it
@TRobinsonNewEra
Immigrants are guest in the Country.
If Guests are disrespectful they are thrown out.
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might join these lot. don’t care about the environment this just looks like a laugh
🚨 BREAKING: Just Stop Oil Paint the Department for Energy Security and Net Zero
🦺 This morning, 2 supporters of Just Stop Oil have painted the department responsible for issuing over 100 new oil and gas licences in the UK.
🖋️ Sign up to take action at
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i reckon that’s a manhole that your house was built over. give me a shout if you need anything else
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don’t know what she was worrying about i thought grimes’ set was great
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doing a hardest geezer style challenge where i live off condom machine tic tacs for a year
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*to the tune of eleanor rigby*
anthony taylor,
goes to the screen to confirm what he’s seen over there,
he has no hair
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cooking up some ‘anyone who prefers winter is tory because their family could afford to have the heating on growing up’ discourse if anyone wants any
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staying at an airbnb and look at the previous guys search history
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logging on for a busy day of fifa 09 and listening to mgmt
Critical part of WFH is getting dressed in a work outfit for the day. No comparison with/without.
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rejected 1st lyrics for cigarettes and alcohol
Is it my imagination or do ubers drive more dangerously on Saturday 🤔
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imagine england win the euros and they get dua lipa to do a breathy indie cover of ten german bombers on the john lewis christmas advert
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rejected first lyrics for losing my religion
That’s me in the hard hat, in front of the bucket of a terrifyingly enormous digger.
What you can’t really tell from the picture is that my head was spinning.
I’d just had one of those moments that change your life forever. It would set me off on a journey around the world…🧵
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i do this when i go to pizza express
Real Madrid players avoiding
#ManCity
’s badge in the Etihad Stadium tunnel on Tuesday. 👏
🎥
@elchiringuitotv
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me after completing a work training course by skipping every slide
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arteta is handsome but completely sexless. he only ever had sex to conceive and it was meticulously planned. rob edwards is a shagger, he wears an open velvet dressing gown and has a slow jamz playlist
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homeless man asked for a monster and instead of buying it separately i incorporated it into my meal deal knowing i had a nice drink in the fridge already
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Chelsea is where he belongs. 🏡 (derogatory)
Chelsea is where he belongs. 🏡
We are delighted to announce the signing of Joao Felix from Atletico Madrid. 🇵🇹🔵
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dyslexic austin powers:
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veteran tip: if you drop a gurner just after westminster bridge you’ll come up just as you see the coffin
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bukayo saka’s childs 18th birthday party they turn to him and say “daddy thank you for raising me and giving me this wonderful life” before unzipping the back of their head and removing a full bodysuit to reveal mikel arteta. “you have failed the foggin awareness test”
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@fistedaway
bristol has to be studied in a different way. their trouser ecosystem has been affected by these things in ways we may never truly understand
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@LehmannsGloves
sorry gordon ramsey, just nipped off the motorway will bring my fondue set next time for you
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if i had to guess i’d say train and numberblocks for his kid, puts them to bed, quick wank and then relax with some diiv
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when the IPAs been dry hopped three times and has notes of citrus, grapefruit and caramel
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might be late to the party but michael barrymore being really into fortnite has killed me
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@jvizzwwfc
@OfficialTM_3
focus on wanking whilst crying not telling footballers what to tweet. stay in your lane.
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good stag do bit is meeting the stag at a busy train station and pretending you’re doing one of those facebook nonce stings on him
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the most men’s mental health thing i’ve ever seen
🔢
Ahead of
#WorldMentalHealthDay
, we’re asking supporters to check in on those around them.
You are not alone. 💙
#CityAsOne
|
@Samaritans
|
#YouAreNotAlone
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don’t like seeing michael oliver at the world cup. like seeing a teacher on holiday
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when i was like 11 i was round my mates house and the first gay kiss happened on the bill and his devout christian mum was so gutted she just sat there shaking her head going "not on the bill... not on the bill" over and over again
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that fish octagon guy seems like a nice bloke but he looks so much like someone you make best friends with on a night out then as you slowly sober up think “why is this guy still with us” it’s offputting
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heard your boyfriends going to a halloween party as the instagram logo because he thinks the way social media is going is “genuinely terrifying”
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@Vettel_AMR
@royalkdb
you think if it was a fake document he wouldnt have sued der spiegel to take the article containing it down?
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i like to imagine roy writing this tweet
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maybe the real brat summer was the friends we made along the way
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@HoxtonHill
they look fine yeah much better than last time just makes me sad how they do whatever they’re told by the zara gods. i bet one of them really misses their skin tight trousers
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the way ian beale, a wealth and job creator, is treated is quite frankly disgusting
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joan of arc:
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please keep responding seriously to this. really really interesting seeing what temperatures different people prefer
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love the “these days” in this caption. conjures up an image of the old days where men who did this were rockstars, women gathered to watch cheering and throwing bras
This is an unnoticed Art form these days. Absolutely tremendous skill ❤️
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this is what's left when someone from bristol is defeated by another jedi in battle
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me after deleting my hellofresh and starting a new one with the 60% discount
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@Vettel_AMR
@royalkdb
an incredibly rich famously litigious narcissist could easily get all the articles taken down from a big publication like der spiegel with proof the documents are fake. no reason why he wouldn’t 🤷♂️
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@ketaminedrams
i honestly think he’s too boring to be a serial killer. more like one of those kids obsessed with fortnite who go ballistic when they lose
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amazing misunderstanding of a saying by this meathead on wife swap
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if you're still in the queue for your spurs manager interview DONT LEAVE. theyre legally not allowed to turn you away if you showed up on time
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my uncle’s so aggressively cockney even when he’s doing baby talk it sounds like he’s torturing a gang rival
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me on the first day of secondary school
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fucks me off every time i think about anthony bourdain slagging me off for using a garlic press. grow up you dead cunt
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😭 caption to this one is “it happens quite regularly actually.”
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don’t like them showing pictures of the commentators. no one is supposed to know what jonathan pearce looks like, he should be like a gas
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alcoholic check: what's the first tweet that pops up when you search "beer" on your profile?
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@adielivingitup
@PolitlcsUK
@Telegraph
or the demands of the un, the icc and every humanitarian charity?
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what about goodwellas and it’s about a criminal organisation that looks like this
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