Ava :/
@avapologies
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Freudian Nip Slip
Ethically ambiguous
Joined February 2020
Lesbians can’t ever break up normally, always doing something dramatic like delivering the kiss of death. #AgathaAllAlong #AgathaAllAlongBash
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Rest in peace Jimmy Carter, you were our most Scarlett Johansson looking president
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I bring a sort of “Eddie Redmayne Cabaret Tony’s performance” energy to the function that people don’t really like
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“How’s your mom’s pill addiction” is CRAZY
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All of Will Arnett
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@purveyorofsouls Usually I don’t see the vision of your tweets, but this one is different… I get this one.
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If she wanted white and heterosexual, why didn’t she just base it on Seth and Amy?.
actually you know what sure. who gives a fuck anymore.
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My friend Colin Jost said this was fine
Rest in peace Jimmy Carter, you were our most Scarlett Johansson looking president
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SNL cast is getting too beautiful I fear, you people are supposed to be the silly little court jesters, why are you also hot?.
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I have one year to become a very important person in Lorne Michaels life. I think I, someone with no show business OR comedy experience, should take over SNL.
Lorne Michaels confirmed that Tina Fey is in the running to succeed him at 'Saturday Night Live': 'She’s a very important person in my life.'
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Tony Hale is gonna do one thing and it’s cater to every need of a powerful woman
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Weekly drunk tweet at Natasha Lyonne time: @nlyonne I 🫶 u, rippin cigs, get bitches, get money, slay my life, 10/10 hot as fuck, nice
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Marvel TikTok fans watching joke swap play over a subway surfers video are going to carbomb Colin Jost
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@le_post_enjoyer Facts, some people had no friends because they were terrible people, not because “I liked anime/emo music/etc”.
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Scarlett Johansson should be allowed to snipe one CEO per year.
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@queensandal Oh I’m sure, cabaret is one of my favorites, I’d love to actually see Redmayne on stage.
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Let all the SNL cast, crew, and writers do coke again, I think it would help.
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Disgusting decision to crop Laura Dern out of this
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This pic of Colin Jost feels AI generated, I feel uneasy with his eye contact
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Counterpoint: Julia Louis Dreyfus is super hot actually.
“Am I the only person who has noticed that SNL has never hired a ‘hot woman?’”
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Meryl Streep, would you like a controversially younger girlfriend?.
Meryl Streep and her husband of 45 years Don Gummer have been separated for over 6 years, Page Six reports.
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filming the twin cities double rainbow thunderstorm like it’s a concert
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Can’t believe I just heard Dear John TV in person ON MY 19TH BIRTHDAY.
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nonverbal smoking on the porch watching the rain during a tornado watch
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Me and oomfs at the same person convention (I’ve had too much to drink tonight)
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Give me 4 Elaines next question.
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Republican Schimdt and him cheating on Cece.
if you could erase any storyline from new girl which storyline would you get rid of?
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@le_post_enjoyer Obviously there are outlying cases, autism/lack of social skills/etc, but some people just suck lmao.
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the cuntiest villager you’ve ever seen.
Jennifer Coolidge has been cast in the live-action ‘MINECRAFT’ movie.
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@OminousMoody @dstark86 @btlblondebarbie I think you underestimate both how much I think about Scarlett Johansson and also American history.
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do not trust the future of biology. she is hungover in her ochem lab wearing a Travis Kelce SNL shirt
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I’m literally shaking buy him brown contacts pls.
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Idk I kinda like this one
yall ever just look at ur drafts and ur like girl what the hell are u talking about.
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Notice how Marvel went downhill after they killed hot Aunt May… food for thought
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All three of my personalities coming together to maximize their joint slay
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Who the hell is gonna give me job offers? The goofy motherfucker factory??.
Twitter/X plans to collect users’ employment and education history to help them find jobs:. “We may collect and use your personal information (such as your employment history, educational history, employment preferences, skills and abilities, job search activity and engagement,
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Thinking about the John Mulaney bit about jokes being read aloud in a court of law.
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Flirting with someone older but I have no concept of time: so uh, where were you during the Kennedy assassination?.
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Maybe you don’t know YOUR mutuals, but MINE have puked in my bathroom, lived, laughed, watched always sunny with me, explored, done SNL standby, experienced girlhoo-.
Also a reminder YOU DO NOT KNOW YOUR MUTUALS. Stop pretending you do, they are strangers youve usually only followed for a few months, almost any one of them could turn out to be a creep in an instant.
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Here’s how Julia Louis Dreyfus can still win a Golden Globe for Veep. .
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No no babe, it’s just that your high school was a private ivy feeder and my high school produced two of the first Americans to die FOR ISIS.
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Everyone meet Home Depot, he’s about 5 days old and guess where we found him
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Jlo is so so beautiful, insane face and the body tea, I wish she could sing.
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Drank a crap ton of margs (in the name of Jimmy buffet) and drew the scream in chalk
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Some of you deserve to be put on a list based off how you tweet about celebrities.
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Are you bored and want attention at work? Follow this one easy step:. 1. Faint
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University of Minnesota students and staff joining in solidarity with Gaza💚
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Speak Now TV July 7th? When Pride month is literally right there?
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