I’m so sorry Professor I couldn’t do my readings this weekend because unfortunately I fell out of a coconut tree and hit my head causing me to forget that I exist in the context of all in which I live and all which came before me :(
Twitter rn
- student: here is a video of my friend getting arrested by a cop in riot gear for sitting on grass and singing
- fully grown adult: sharing this is tantamount to murder
- NYT: Our Campuses Have Become Warzones
- Jessica: M Y P U S S Y I N B
Can’t explain why but they look like an old lesbian couple who live in Santa Barbara. one of them is a retired professor and the other is a social worker with some problematic outdated leftist politics but ultimately her heart is in the right place
One time I genuinely thought I was experiencing a school shooting because I heard a loud bang and screams from the other room so I hid in the bathroom for 30 minutes but it turned out it was just my theater teacher doing the worm
Do u guys remember that Katie perry music video where she buzzes all her hair off and joins the army? Well anyway that’s what it feels like to get over a crush
Literally all of my friends are now trying to get me my first kiss like it has become a NASA mission. We’re a team and unfortunately I’m a very poorly built rocket
Something super weird always happens in April. Two years ago I got reallllly into belle and sebastian. Last year I developed a debilitating crush and started journaling obsessively. Can’t wait to see what’s in store!
NEVE: well well well, my ten page paper is at seven pages! looks like progress!
[neve reads the seven pages]
NEVE: we oft throw around words like "progress," but what is the nature of progress, really, to mankind, but a fabrication of linearity,
My dad got my mom a tiny bronze statue of a boar for Christmas. I was skeptical at first but she loved it so much she started crying. She named it Beryl
No no my hair isn’t greasy I’m just serving Football Player Who Just Stepped Out of the Shower No He Wasn’t Singing in There That Couldn’t Have Been Him… Could It? Well We Still Need a Lead for the School Musical since Jason Got Expelled and Besides he’s Kinda Cute…
Hopping back on twitter for 2 seconds to tell everyone it finally happened! When I looked up from my phone both me and the man who sirred me were so confused
plans for the rest of the evening:
- learn how to produce beats
- read a work of irish literature
- once it gets dark, lie in the backyard with my headphones on and listen to country music and/or Rozes by the chainsmokers
Everyone complaining about Jeremy strong’s use of the word “dramaturgically” clearly does not have a playwright mother. I started hating that word at age ten
I’m gonna start doing things like cutting up apples with a pocket knife and scribbling furtive notes in a tiny black notebook. I must cultivate a vaguely threatening aura
Recently many women have been saying that they used to make their Barbies do weird messed-up things and/or have intercourse. Acting like this was a universal experience. Can I come clean? I would just line them up and sort their outfits by color
Not to participate in Discourse online but. the way Sam Smith continues to dress how they want despite constant horrific bullying is more radical than anything the people mocking them have ever done or will ever do
Nearly all of my failed college crushes thus far were collected in one place tonight and it felt like a really really bad season recap that no one needed
The fact that riverdale has seen me through my first year of middle school to my second year of college ❤️ I haven’t been watching but it’s nice to know it’s been around