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Neve

@neveofficiall

Followers
178
Following
183
Media
136
Statuses
2,480

If a duck were a beautiful woman

The white house
Joined April 2022
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@neveofficiall
Neve
7 months
I’m so sorry Professor I couldn’t do my readings this weekend because unfortunately I fell out of a coconut tree and hit my head causing me to forget that I exist in the context of all in which I live and all which came before me :(
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@neveofficiall
Neve
11 months
No one should be this famous. Imagine eating a chicken nugget with normal condiments and then the Empire State Building lights up in honor of it
@EmpireStateBldg
Empire State Building
11 months
Ketchup and seemingly ranch
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@neveofficiall
Neve
8 months
Happy birthday to the video that made me laugh so hard I almost fatally choked!
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@neveofficiall
Neve
11 months
@avapologies I’m not handling it well
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
The third knives out movie should be set at an all-girls highschool
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@neveofficiall
Neve
4 months
Twitter rn - student: here is a video of my friend getting arrested by a cop in riot gear for sitting on grass and singing - fully grown adult: sharing this is tantamount to murder - NYT: Our Campuses Have Become Warzones - Jessica: M Y P U S S Y I N B
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This is messy but I had to speak my truth
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@neveofficiall
Neve
4 months
I actually feel like I’m going insane. How am I supposed to think my finals matter at all right now
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
@marshallvore Fun fact! “The king is only playing a game of 4 dimensional chess” from Dylan Thomas was actually written about bon iver
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I don’t understand polyamory simply bcuz how are u attracted to that many people. And they all like you back ?
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found a fascinating web page about me. some highlights:
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Can’t explain why but they look like an old lesbian couple who live in Santa Barbara. one of them is a retired professor and the other is a social worker with some problematic outdated leftist politics but ultimately her heart is in the right place
@MarkRuffalo
Mark Ruffalo
1 year
We made a new friend
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
My motto is always “it can’t be as bad as middle school”
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
One time I genuinely thought I was experiencing a school shooting because I heard a loud bang and screams from the other room so I hid in the bathroom for 30 minutes but it turned out it was just my theater teacher doing the worm
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She’s about to knock you over trying to get barricade at Re:SET
@FilmUpdates
Film Updates
1 year
Florence Pugh for Valentino
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See the problem is I want to major in history but every time I write a paper my conclusion is always the scholarly equivalent of this emoji 🤷‍♀️
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
My gender is whatever Tintin had going on
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Do u guys remember that Katie perry music video where she buzzes all her hair off and joins the army? Well anyway that’s what it feels like to get over a crush
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@neveofficiall
Neve
5 months
Guys I KNOW I was hacked on Instagram you don’t need to text me about it
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
This is really important Btw if I misspelled anyones name it’s because I do not care
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If I ever date someone and I start calling them “stink” just shoot me.
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@neveofficiall
Neve
11 months
Me after this weekend (I got two full nights of sleep in a row)
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@neveofficiall
Neve
8 months
Ins 2024: - disappearing for weeks at a time Outs 2024: - search parties
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
“Attended Harvard-Westlake” is absolutely killing me. NYT is getting involved in LA private high school drama. I’m so happy
@aramnotagoat
aram
2 years
someone at new york magazine really does not like ben platt 😭😭
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Me using my parents’ money to go to college with a useless major
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind
@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
Literally all of my friends are now trying to get me my first kiss like it has become a NASA mission. We’re a team and unfortunately I’m a very poorly built rocket
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@neveofficiall
Neve
11 months
Now that I’m in my 20s can I please have a romantic interaction one time ? The character-building is over
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I cant explain it but this is what it feels like to wear my yale sweatshirt in public
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
Oh shit he turned into a cat
@POTUS
President Biden
2 years
Taking it all in.
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
It’s so sad that I can’t ever taste the Tonight Dough ice cream or I’ll be disowned 😢
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Today I drove down the PCH with the windows down blasting Barbie World. And for a fleeting moment there I understood Los Angeles
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@neveofficiall
Neve
5 months
Something super weird always happens in April. Two years ago I got reallllly into belle and sebastian. Last year I developed a debilitating crush and started journaling obsessively. Can’t wait to see what’s in store!
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
I need to stop using twitter
Sorry i cant hangout im too busy playing dress up conan o’brien on stardoll
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In this essay I will throw up
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Need a magnolia bakery banana pudding and to experience teenage love before I turn 20 tbh
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@neveofficiall
Neve
11 months
Practicing being insufferable today
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@neveofficiall
Neve
5 months
fav things lately - two to three desserts per day - just not turning things in - 30rock
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@neveofficiall
Neve
11 months
I accidentally ratioed the Empire State Building
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
I am a girl in the way this gay cat is a girl
@raveena_aurora
Raveena
2 years
thinking about the gay lore of hello kitty and dear Daniel
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@neveofficiall
Neve
8 months
My mom and I finally had a heart to heart about the undiagnosed autism and ocd running rampant through both sides of the family. She seems unfazed
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The most beautiful girl in the world is not Bella Hadid. The most beautiful girl in the world is someone you will see once at an airport
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NEVE: well well well, my ten page paper is at seven pages! looks like progress! [neve reads the seven pages] NEVE: we oft throw around words like "progress," but what is the nature of progress, really, to mankind, but a fabrication of linearity,
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
Forgot that being at college is just a constant state of stomach hurting
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
[pointing at the nepo baby magazine] put me in coach!!
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@neveofficiall
Neve
8 months
My dad got my mom a tiny bronze statue of a boar for Christmas. I was skeptical at first but she loved it so much she started crying. She named it Beryl
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Instagram Reels
@deitsoda
yul ♤⊹˖♢
1 year
what is this genre of desert
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Studies show that the worst possible thing that can happen to a human being is for their stomach to make a noise in class
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@neveofficiall
Neve
7 months
No no my hair isn’t greasy I’m just serving Football Player Who Just Stepped Out of the Shower No He Wasn’t Singing in There That Couldn’t Have Been Him… Could It? Well We Still Need a Lead for the School Musical since Jason Got Expelled and Besides he’s Kinda Cute…
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Those are jazz shoes I’m wearing.
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@beerslag
beer slag
1 year
U don’t know someone till Uve seen what their vibe was in 2016
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almost went into a brandy melville today and then remembered im a grown woman
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@neveofficiall
Neve
11 months
The only place left to turn is stand up comedy
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
Every girl wrote this in her diary at the age of 12 and then moved on
@LoganPaul
Logan Paul
2 years
I figured out the universe
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
She cold on my stone till I creamery
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Damn girl we see em
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
Ummm why is nobody talking about the problematic age gap between Humbert Humbert and Lolita???? :/
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@neveofficiall
Neve
9 months
Hopping back on twitter for 2 seconds to tell everyone it finally happened! When I looked up from my phone both me and the man who sirred me were so confused
@neveofficiall
Neve
10 months
Everyday I inch closer to the possibility that I’ll be he/himmed in some public forum
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Letting it linger a little too much rn I need to cut back
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@neveofficiall
Neve
11 months
I’m writing an essay so pretentious that it should get me beheaded in the courtyard of the humanities quadrangle
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
@sikenpoems @rileech8 What if I became violent. Would that make you happy. Is that why ur doing this.
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@neveofficiall
Neve
11 months
Desperately need to know what I look like but also I do not want to come into contact with that knowledge ever
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plans for the rest of the evening: - learn how to produce beats - read a work of irish literature - once it gets dark, lie in the backyard with my headphones on and listen to country music and/or Rozes by the chainsmokers
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@neveofficiall
Neve
8 months
hitting the blunt that makes you an omniscient narrator
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
Me getting Diet Coke at the dining hall after a long hard day of 2 classes and some laundry
@FilmUpdates
Film Updates
2 years
Jeremy Allen White photographed by Steven Klein for Vanity Fair
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But We were girls together
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@neveofficiall
Neve
7 months
Not religious in the slightest but I’m giving up social media for lent GOOTBYE
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 months
Bad news, guys. My dad found out about ice spice
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Everyone complaining about Jeremy strong’s use of the word “dramaturgically” clearly does not have a playwright mother. I started hating that word at age ten
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@neveofficiall
Neve
8 months
I’m gonna start doing things like cutting up apples with a pocket knife and scribbling furtive notes in a tiny black notebook. I must cultivate a vaguely threatening aura
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Recently many women have been saying that they used to make their Barbies do weird messed-up things and/or have intercourse. Acting like this was a universal experience. Can I come clean? I would just line them up and sort their outfits by color
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An ancient Egyptian subtweeting Akhenaten during the Amarna period:
@hausofdecline
Haus of Decline
1 year
Sun Deity people give you so much shit if you worship the Moon Deity
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I’ve got lots of bangers in the drafts but I don’t want to separate them from each other … they’re having fun together in there
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“Throwing up” is way too lit a phrase for what it actually means
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@neveofficiall
Neve
11 months
When I have a crush now it’s just like ugh. For real? And then I get over it
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
Not to participate in Discourse online but. the way Sam Smith continues to dress how they want despite constant horrific bullying is more radical than anything the people mocking them have ever done or will ever do
@souvenirtities
tiana
2 years
i blame hairy styIes for this nonsense
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
I’m rapidly tweeting because I just realized my 10 page paper is due tomorrow and NOT Monday. So.
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
Me pacing around my room every night doing fake Genius lyrics interviews
@diorgirl444
mehr
2 years
this is how delusional i need to be
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
This is the face and stance of someone who just saw James Corden get his latte first at the Brentwood blue bottle even though she ordered before him
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
In every photo shoot Kendall Jenner just looks like she wore a weird outfit to Blue Bottle and she’s waiting for them to make her latte
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I got ahold of a synth and I’ve started making the worst music known to man 🙏 look out world
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@neveofficiall
Neve
8 months
this is so beuatiful it's like if a bunny and a shrew were friends
@girlsonfillm
ًً
8 months
ight man 😭😭
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I wish someone would punt me like a football so I could sail through the air and triumphantly fly past the goal posts
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Being deeply in unrequited love between the ages of 15 and 18 is actually key
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@neveofficiall
Neve
8 months
Pictured here without the custom f slur key that she had added before writing Play It As It Lays
@yxakirves
Letícia
8 months
joan didion’s IBM wheelwriter 5 typewriter
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@neveofficiall
Neve
7 months
Every man at this damn school
@fuglibetty
roro, PhD
7 months
a heterosexual man who was not popular in high school performs his masculinity with more naïve camp than a drag artist could ever fathom
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
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Girl dinner
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
Unlike some of you, I think of my digital footprint every time I tweet
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Every once in a while that clip of Joe Biden saying “SODA” pops into my head. And guys I can’t lie to you. I do have a giggle about it
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@neveofficiall
Neve
7 months
I want a cinnamon roll. But they are always drier and less cinnamon than you think they will be. This is the central problem in my life right now
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@neveofficiall
Neve
6 months
The class I’m taking is literally just Timothy Snyder: Into the Snyderverse. We have to read like every book he’s ever written.
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@neveofficiall
Neve
4 months
You wouldn’t last an hour in the context in which I live
@ClaireGoldberg
Claire Goldberg
4 months
You wouldn’t last an hour in the coconut tree I fell out of
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@neveofficiall
Neve
10 months
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Nearly all of my failed college crushes thus far were collected in one place tonight and it felt like a really really bad season recap that no one needed
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@neveofficiall
Neve
1 month
I wish circles were still a thing so I could talk about some real ass situations
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
I can’t stand the Harry Styles outfit discourse idc if ur praising him or hating on him it would be best if we all decided to ignore the man
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Why are the Schuyler sisters on stage with her
@tswifterastour
The Eras Tour
1 year
🚨| Taylor Swift perfoming “no body, no crime” with HAIM at tonight’s show of ‘The Eras Tour’! #TSTheErasTour #SantaClaraTSTheErasTour
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The fact that riverdale has seen me through my first year of middle school to my second year of college ❤️ I haven’t been watching but it’s nice to know it’s been around
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@neveofficiall
Neve
7 months
The institution I attend is NOT REAL😭
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@neveofficiall
Neve
2 years
What if one person, could be both? Hi. My name is n
@insomniblvck
Joanna Newsom Shady Facts
2 years
Queerbaiting son or nepotism baby daughter?
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