Offseason Liz
@actuallylizzz
Followers
962
Following
1,861
Media
864
Statuses
18,613
Hockey playing, hockey watching, hockey cards. Preds & Admirals. Occasional questionable country music takes. This account is an AI art-free space.
Nashville, TN
Joined February 2013
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Pinned Tweet
Thank you
@PredsNHL
for wearing the Pride jerseys, and giving my sign some love, and winning the game. (And thanks
@tysonbarrie
for the puck!) This night was so much fun-definitely one to remember. Hockey is for everyone 🏳️🌈
#Smashville
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@JayHulmePoet
I honestly really admire her self awareness here. That’s the absolute correct way to handle that.
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4K
@isaacxiv_
I used to work in a museum that was also in a historic site. I would’ve lost my mind if you asked me this! Such a fun question-I knew all the hidden gems and building features you’d never notice.
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2K
@wtflanksteak
Imo if you’re going through cancer treatment you are entitled to eat whatever you damn well please and whatever you’re able to eat! Chips and instant mashed potatoes have saved me on many bad migraine days.
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1K
@StageNinjaDad
@ObsessedTeach
I went to high school with a kid who routinely wore a full suit to school. I have absolutely no idea why. It was definitely more of a distraction than the short shorts or whatever. (Full respect, he rocked it. But stood out for sure.)
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@DLVermeer
I pretty much only buy from Etsy if it’s an artist I found on another platform (Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, even Reddit) at this point. Only way to know what you’re getting
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@HannahPosted
Are you on Reddit? May I introduce you to r/fundiesnarkuncensored. These people are HORRIFYING. And at the moment they’re not actually the worst ones discussed on that sub.
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@ourladyofcoffee
THANK YOU! I was trying to tape my hockey stick the other day and could hardly find a single diagram/drawing. For a fairly simple task that could be easily illustrated. I do not want a fucking video for every damn thing!
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@oldenoughtosay
…this one is painfully accurate. But the check thing stands. I’m in my 20s. I do not even own checks.
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@lalasoo
@ashtroid22
I flew Southwest a few months ago and I don’t doubt it. Flight crew had absolutely no filter or patience when it came to enforcing mask mandates, it was awesome.
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@BlondeHistorian
For ELEVATORS? Why??? Even for sighted folks, I just think buttons are easier! I can tap an elevator button with a key if my hands are full; muscle memory tells me where it is whether I’m looking at it or not. I’m getting mad just thinking about starting my day fighting a screen
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@Just_Nag_Em
@jessicadefino_
It was not a wig. It should have been a wig. She probably completely wrecked her hair doing that.
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@Netrogo
@thearchieh
@mcarlovincent
No shit. Forever grateful for the boss who wasn’t even annoyed when I was half an hour late on the FIRST DAY of the new job. (I was new to dealing with, and totally underestimated, the city traffic.)
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@jeeyonshim
My mother once threw some stale cheerios into the yard to get our chickens to get off the porch. This resulted in chickens that would stand on the porch and refuse to leave until they got cheerios. And my mother buying cheerios specifically for the chickens.
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@theheatherhogan
A wonderful response to the situation. Hopefully in hindsight he’ll find this hilarious, as it is in fact hilarious.
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@My_Name_Is_N0
@TheHyyyype
Don’t buy…um…name brand peanut butter? Breakfast cereal? Utilities? I dunno. Gas is expensive.
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@scottlangford22
I ushered at concerts in college and once almost had to miss a class to make it to a shift because Dolly Parton was performing. Managed to get there on time without missing class, but 100% would’ve.
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@phoenikia
@CharleneTeglia
@AKouzovnikov
Me too. I have a ton of perfume so after a bad day of allergies I end up putting on way too much to be sure I can still smell it.
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@vinn_ayy
YES. Maybe some soft instrumental background music, but I’m in a sit down restaurant to have a conversation. I need to be able to hear that conversation.
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@BlondeHistorian
I love this! Kids get it. And it sounds like they were perfectly happy to get to look at the puppy!
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@jtrebach
@Nooor_Khalil
Yeah if I hadn’t read the tweet before looking at the photo I would’ve absolutely thought this was some new healthy soda/sparkling water trend.
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@yoosamkane
@rachelmillman
@emogirlgrownup
Seriously. And some people were/are drinking 2-3 of the lemonades a day. Or getting it for kids without realizing. That is an actual fuckload of caffeine. And I say this as somebody who loves caffeine. I ain’t touching that lemonade.
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@clhubes
Kid, welcome to the world of how darned hard it is to actually make a decent purple from the available reds and blues
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@fatfabfeminist
Exactly! I’ll give you a ride (just chip in for gas cause I’m broke), help you move, buy you a souvenir from my vacation, you name it! That’s what friends are for!
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@TrippDinger
@LisaLouWhoXOXO
@JortsTheCat
The original Reddit post was actually in mid December if you can believe it! January’s been a long year though.
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@mommijuana
@punished_cait
If you want to indulge some nostalgia, Webkinz is still alive and well! A good bit of it’s now available for free, or if you really want to unlock more you can find pets (with codes) for under $10 on eBay. Source: Am on webkinz daily.
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@my_tv_life
@lexilafleur
@petalchinchilla
There was a way to do this and create something that actually looked nice, if slightly “high as heck hippie who went on a crocheting binge”...this was not that way. This looks like somebody tossed a bit of Woodstock into that Bassnectar show I had the misfortune of working at.
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@Elroy_Jenquist
@AMcsommers
@misplacedcomma2
I think your cat is melting off that shelf 😂 worn out from a hard day of trying to break into cabinets?
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@AlchemicPhoenix
@snacklesbian
I called when my smoke alarm went off and realized halfway through the call it was haze from my own candle. The dispatcher was very nice and the firefighters were great, if rather amused.
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@faultnourczars
@SpookySable
@ScattrBrainJane
You can’t drop a line like that and not give us the name of your band/link to the song 👀
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@ThePeej
@ElyKreimendahl
Ok but the clock thing is actually great. How could anyone stand to leave them set wrong?
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@gbosabiaspin
@LouisatheLast
I tried a piece of caffeine gum (last leg of a long drive) and I’m pretty sure if I’d chewed both pieces in the pack I would’ve met an ancient deity. Only 50mg per piece, too.
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@LizWFab
In addition to your excellent point, these are just boring. Colors and accessories exist!
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@AnxLilMonsters
@chroniclexi__
I’ve seen some great (rage-inducing) stories from folks who work night shift whose families couldn’t understand why they were never available to do things at 10am. Sleep is sleep! (Apparently a few phone calls on the night-shift lunch break solved the problem!)
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@tangoldman
@ZJAyres
Been there. Since it counted for college credit I had to pay tuition for those hours even though *I* wasn’t getting a cent. Such a scam. Oh, and I worked directly with the company’s clients’ financial information. Those numbers made it even more painful.
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@adhdjesse
Writing shit down. I have a planner notebook and it’s an information junk drawer. I’ll obsess over trying to remember stuff; writing it in the notebook frees up brain space. Tasks may not get done but there’s a record and I know they need to happen.
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I’m obsessed with this. Thank you
@PredsNHL
for the Asky Polaroid!!!!
@mkeadmirals
you know how much I love this man.
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@Chinchillazllla
This tweet just showed up on my feed…I initially thought Rufus was a dog, briefly thought he was a child, and was delighted to discover he’s actually a pig!
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@BlondeHistorian
@GuideDogAva
Ava: Amy, you didn’t tell me he would learn to move! This wasn’t in the job description!
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Hey
@PredsNHL
fans. This is your reminder that the Baby Preds aka
@mkeadmirals
are currently in the division finals of the AHL playoffs. And y’all can get the AHLTV playoff package for the cost of about 1.5 Bridgestone Arena beers and watch ALL THE GAMES.
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When I said I wasn’t changing my profile photo I wasn’t anticipating THIS PHOTO.
@carrieunderwood
you are the BEST!!!
#NewProfilePic
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@arsonandhockey
You’re right but also I think you have to be built weird right actually want to play that position
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@bibicosplays
Um…what exactly is the point of that thing? I don’t think anyone other than an especially agile squirrel could go up that!
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@SpacePootler
@YankeesLauren
@librarycongress
@lizzo
I noticed that! This is somebody who clearly has tremendous respect for the instruments.
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@dreamsofskies
That is a fairly large serving of gummy bears, but the dad was acting like she gave the kid cocaine! A 4 year old is absolutely going to live through this.
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@SourceDuMal
Fantastic thread! DD here-unless I’m straight up topless I basically have no visible boobs to speak of. I recently quit wearing bras entirely except for working out, and have been way happier. Probably never would’ve started if it hadn’t been forced on me.
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@OgLakyn
There’s technically 3 I believe. The presentation cup, one that stays in the Hockey Hall of Fame on display, and one that travels. I met it last summer!
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@punished_cait
As somebody who sunburned their lips the other day…put some spf on your lips, yall. That said most lip balms have it, except for the one I use lol. I personally like the Jack Black lip balm for an spf option that’s also super moisturizing.
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@punished_cait
I worked in ushering and security at concerts. Whenever I’m at a show I have to stop myself from trying to seat people who look lost.
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@kemi_keemi
I knew it was a resource drain but uh yikes! With the amount people are using it that’s gotta add up fast
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@sailorxmercury
@the_katejones
And she bought THIS?! This lady clearly cannot be trusted with toys. Watch her paint this next because the characters’ clothes are too colorful
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@clhubes
Ok but if it doesn’t actually need to be on photo paper…drag all the pics into a giant Google doc, save it, and use Office Depot’s self-serve printing. Won’t be the highest quality print but it’ll get the job done with limited headaches.
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@lingerie_addict
I’m a vegetarian. And I carry a high end leather bag daily. It’s been rained on, sat in hot cars, jostled around planes, drinks spilled in it. I would’ve gone through 5 fake leather bags by now; it looks as good as the day I got it. (Even got it at a thrift store!)
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Shoutout to whoever owns this truck, in the South no less. I hope you have an amazing rest of your life.
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@ShayWoulahan
@penbbles
My friend used to compare her toddler to my rabbit. Tries to eat everything, loves to get into spaces a grownup can’t fit, hates bedtime, limited ability to be reasoned with.
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@UntoNuggan
Had a migraine triggered by a flickering light at work. Coworker pitched a fit about having to take his lunch break early so I could leave. Don’t think he’d ever had a big headache in his life, but by the end of that I was considering giving him one.
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@withlimeplss
I was assuming some sort of vehicle purchase lol. That’s so sweet, you got books an afternoon of me time AND a new backyard? Keep that man.
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@BlondeHistorian
I read through the accessibility page on my city’s Pride’s website and it was overwhelmingly focused on wheelchair/mobility issue access. Not a word about sensory issues (what I was looking for) or visual impairments. Being aware and accommodating of *all* needs is so important.
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@MagsTheObscure
@punished_cait
@braintree_
Or the alternative, fantastic but not designed to work with any bra ever created
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@SoniaTheUseless
@PaxColl
@lingerie_addict
I don’t understand how people DONT do this. I’m wearing a pair of 10 year old jeans right now. They have giant holes in the knees and too many stains to wear out, but they’re wonderfully soft and worn in.
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@FoxFaceEsq
@chrisbruno84
@Alex_Lily
Had a few baby bunny incidents with our black lab. I was about 9. Just a little traumatizing...
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@mommijuana
@punished_cait
You’re welcome; have fun out there! I used my Adult Money to buy this guy last year.
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@taylorsschumann
I’m no parenting expert, but from what I can tell your kid is wearing two weather/situation appropriate shoes, on the correct feet, that they put on by themselves. Sounds like a win.
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@JortsTheCat
Jorts, would management be open to setting up a trail camera near the trash can? Your mishaps are hilarious; I think I speak for everyone when I say we’d love to see the chaos for ourselves 😂
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I just got a text from my mother, who I have spent many hours trying to explain streaming services and downloading music to, telling me she bought
@MickeyGuyton
’s EP. We can do this.
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@NeolithicSheep
That shit is the worst. Took weeks for it all to get out after I had an impacted wisdom tooth removed.
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@the_tweedy
Halloween 2005. A stray cat followed us around trick or treating in a friend’s neighborhood. At the end of the night she was still there, my dad decided to take her home with us, we had her till she passed away at roughly age 16 in 2018.
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@collectdust
I really feel for the kids. Heck, I was out with a friend and we were struggling to find a space where we could just exist and socialize. We ended up at a mall, but for all the reasons you stated that’s not an option for actual teens.
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@sleepysadwriter
@sivomengro
Minus the turning into a cat thing, we had at least two or three cat-ear kids at my school. Including one of my friends, who was big into furry stuff. (The pg, art side) Never hurt anyone.
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@NaomiKritzer
I have several Canadian friends and have horrified all of them with the story of the time I hurt my foot and spent $300 for an incorrect diagnosis
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For anyone wondering why people yell “shoot the puck” at their hockey teams, it’s because said team apparently needs the reminder
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@_jakobforster
TIL! That is an interesting fact and makes a lot of sense when you actually think about it for 3 seconds.
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Hey
@mkeadmirals
and
@PredsNHL
fans, I made Yaro!!! Hoping keychain Yaro brings the boys a win tonight!
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46
@CleopatraAmster
@MxCinnix
@LeftJaddi
Recent grad here, spot on. One particular semester became a total disaster. I wanted to drop a class. I wanted a semester off, and needed it. I didn’t, because doing either would have financially screwed me over on a ridiculous level-like, $10,000s ridiculous.
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@clhubes
I’m not a parent, nor do I have any desire to be one, but based on my general life experience and having friends with kids, my understanding is that they just…do that sometimes! They’re little and they’re trying to figure out how the world works, I don’t blame em!
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In case y’all missed it. Filip Forsberg, who wears No. 9, scored his 29th goal of the season last night on 2/29, at 29 years old.
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45
@strongforecheck
You wanna get the 18-40 crowd? Drop the ticket prices. We’re broke. Also quit doing…whatever the fuck’s been happening to the Pride Night games.
2
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@saramfung
All of this 100%. What kills me is that I LOVED the actual space (historic site) I worked in. The drama and toxicity within were heartbreaking.
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@justDisa
@dwwest409
@Imposter_Edits
@djcarrieanne
For what it’s worth…a few years ago I worked at a venue she played at. Months later, was talking to the middle aged white guy general manager and asked him about his favorite shows he’d ever seen in the building. He said Stephen King and Lizzo were up there.
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@julia_azari
@KellyLeaWatson
Sounds a bit hard to mail, but filling the entire envelope with loose glitter would certainly leave an impression. For a long time.
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@LizBagby
@JortsTheCat
I cannot stop laughing at that expression! I hope Arthur’s learned his way around trash cans.
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I love away teams acting like the rink I PERSONALLY PLAY HOCKEY AT somehow doesn’t have locker rooms.
3
0
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@rousseaucialist
@tropicanapussy
That’s a fair perspective. That said:
1) We’re paying so much in tuition, books could/should be included in the cost
2) Copyrighted material or not, there is absolutely no reason an online access code or ebook rental should cost triple digits
0
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@KeelySweeny
@the_tweedy
Thank you for doing this. I’m in COLLEGE and struggling to stay on top of classes that would be a cakewalk in normal times. I’d take s semester off if it wouldn’t wreck my financial aid. We need to slow down. And I’m writing down that goal.
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@AlexDaugherty1
Weird, I skated there last night and I distinctly remember being in a locker room
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Country music folks: Why is M*rgan W
@llen
still so popular? A friend just asked me this and I’d like to give her an actual answer. (Mine was along the lines of “because racists still listen to music”…)
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