young tiempo
@YoungTiempo
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Following
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Media
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Statuses
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I do birthday parties / Expert / Your likes mean nothing, I’ve seen what you retweet / Cosmic Brownie Connoisseur / Cheapie
NY to Penn State To NYC
Joined September 2011
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Pinned Tweet
Well my ex canceled the Spotify premium I was using which unfortunately means I am revoking her Dads access to my Disney +. Good guy. Hate to see him caught in the crossfire
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Guy at the airport bar is hitting on my gf directly next to me and i can finally watch youtube videos with both headphones on now that shes occupied
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Not trying to be controversial but that bull looks like its horns are down
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Limping down the westside highway on a Saturday morning hoping the sunlight and fresh air will absolve all of my sins from the night prior only to be trampled by a stampede of people who cant get laid in matching colors
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I imagine me seeing a few zyns in the urinal is what it must have felt like as a early native american to come across the remains of a camp already left. Past travelers. What stories they might have told. Maybe our paths will cross in the future. But for now the sun is setting
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advertising team: SO YEA MAKE THE BUCKET FUCKABLE THEY LOVE THAT SHIT APPARENTLY
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You’re telling me a shrimp whipped these bricks
Guyanese man busted with 40 lbs of cocaine packed with frozen shrimp at JFK: authorities
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@Eggy_OverEZ
Took off my headphones and he said my fiancee is such a good guy and i went straight back to youtube
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@TaIkDirtyToomey
I knew this day would come eventually. It didnt wipe my liked songs so we are gonna be fine
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A $1000 bet that one friend can’t germinate and grow a full stalk of corn to harvest in a calendar year
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My coworker is autistic and every month he prints out (and celebrates) what each “national holiday” is for each day and today is national sliders day and he just came in and first thing he says to me is “it’s white castle day”.
A day we have been prepping for since May 1st. 🫡
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Every single green light for 66 streets. Puertorican flag on my back flying in the wind, I was bending traffic to my will. For those 13 minutes I was the center of the universe. Chills
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“First pitch 2seam fastball 95 mph outside corner. That thing broke about a fuckin foot bud. You feel like you’re drowning, you’re in hell. 2nd pitch curveball in the dirt. You chased it, of course you chased it. Ladybird sucked. Fuck you. Then bang 4seam fastball inside corner.”
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Well my ex canceled the Spotify premium I was using which unfortunately means I am revoking her Dads access to my Disney +. Good guy. Hate to see him caught in the crossfire
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Seen this move a million times. Rip the burner in half and ditch it. Something happened here
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Hinge is always like “we think you and Amanda would get along” and Amanda is just a 300 pound ogre
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Had charizard and tried to chew my way through the ball to release him (ate rubber as a child)
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@ArtButSports
@dcarrollphoto
@wemby
@ChetHolmgren
@spurs
@okcthunder
U been waiting to get this one off
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10/10
This is actually wild. Over 75 reviews and this is only the third perfect score. I said yesterday I wanted more 🔴🟢 sprinks and this is a Christmas miracle.
Tied for most sprinks ever seen on a brownie. Will we ever see 40?! What a rush.
Enjoy your lunches
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Type of shit we on tonight
After being delayed 2 years my promotion went thru today 🥲
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@bigcontentguy
Looking to the stands and all the other kids dads are drinking beers rooting for the team together and then you see your dad sitting to the side alone with an icee waving
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I used to do Cosmic Brownie reviews everyday at lunch. Decided to stop to pursue dreams of becoming a meat missile. Thinking about bringing them back? Any support?
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@TheBestPoaster
Its like the cat with buttered bread on its back situation. A schrodiners bull if you will. They have to respond in the strongest fasion but cant be mean to it. A real brain buster
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Well my ex canceled the Apple Music I was using which unfortunately means I am revoking her Dads access to my HBO. Good guy. Hate to see him caught in the crossfire
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“Omg he is typing so fast even though he’s using a controller”
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I would never recommend listening to any of these people talk but this response the blonde girl gives is exactly how you defuse a dumb person speaking loudly. By taking their logic and showing you can be even dumber than they could comprehend using the exact frame of mind. 😗🤌🏽
crying over Matt Rife on Tana’s podcast looking like an idiot
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Mama there go a slightly different version of that boy again
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I’m already using a male contraceptive it’s called my personality
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Wearing my eclipse glasses and walking up to my bald coworker and gasping at his head
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Run and hide Ian you little bitch
My father is on the ground in Tampa attempting to stop the storm
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A decision was made that no decision had to be made. I can have both
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He forgot last year and I gave hime such a hard time. The chilis gift card is back in my possession
My brother and I have been passing the same Chili’s gift card back and forth for a few years now and he got it last year. Excited to see if it comes back tomorrow morning.
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The only way to stop online porn is good guys with online porn
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I think I can be of assistance.
This is actually Dooku’s hangar on Geonosis! Believe this photo is from around 22 BBY
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My dream gf:
-5’5
-brown hair
-brown eyes
-super hot
-multiple eclectic hair styles
-Senator
-will travel to Outer rim
-One of the youngest queens of Naboo
-has J-type 327 Nubian starship
-can hold her own during a Geonosian execution
-loves me so much if I leave her she dies
My dream bf
- 6ft
- $300-500K total comp
- very ambitious & driven
- 27-33yo
- brown eyes
- loves nyc
- rlly funny but a bit weird
- rlly kind & has a moral system
- not trust fund baby (self made)
- good taste
- good listener & planner
- loves running & reading
- loves me a LOT
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My mom is a notoriously bad photo cropper but her Facebook post for my brother finishing the marathon is easily some of her best work
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Walk of shame but my outfit was so fire I’m really just giving NYC another look
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It’s not that omicron is bad, i just prefer covid’s older stuff. Before everyone had it. Back when it was really about the virus.
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Being told “ Well my ex canceled the Spotify premium I was using which unfortunately means I am revoking her Dads access to my Disney +. Good guy. Hate to see him caught in the crossfire” feels like this
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Well my ex canceled the Spotify premium I was using which unfortunately means I am revoking her Dads access to my Disney +. Good guy. Hate to see him caught in the crossfire
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“You come to me on the day of Bessys birthday and you ask me for a favor?”
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I absolutely did not tweet that but since people are asking…
Fellas, how do y’all decide who gets it raw and who doesn’t? 👀👇🏼
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Never deleting Bluetooth devices I have connected to incase Will with the SONIC BOOM 2 from that one pregame in high school gets the boys back together
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My younger brother just got a drill to help him with the new house he just bought and I got a Darth Maul lightsaber
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Why am I on your close friends it was a drunk one night stand
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How am I supposed to sleep tonight. Would you just look at this. 40 SPRINKS. No brownie has ever ever had this many. Hundreds of brownies. Have a great night folks
10/10
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Right back at it with another 10/10 people!
39 sprinks right after we set the record with 40.
Took this brownie for an away game rating and knew it would be hot so I rocked the hoodie.
Have a night❤️
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A lot of people have been asking who is the key behind this passion (you are)
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That took about three seconds
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War criminal
President Obama reaches OVER Chipotle protective sneeze guard. (2014)
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If the timeline was a speed bag and my hands were “love u” tweets
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New lab goggles came in and I was instantly granted +2 speed and +4 defense
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This one time I came home from high school and I shit you not the lead anchor of the number 1 news broadcast in the number 1 media market in the United States was in my kitchen with his shoes on making out with my mom
What’s your favorite interaction you’ve had with a celebrity?
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Just had to break up with my bodega guy of 3 years. Leaving the neighborhood. Told me I was “simply debest”. This is hurting more than I was ready for.
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“I don’t know if you would love him as a person to hang out with, but you would love his online personality. Asher”
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Post the same actor in two roles that show their range
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Minutes after winning the
@AsherHBaron
Mega pool and he politely reminds you where you have to spend all the prize money
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