Jake Cole
@ThatJakePC
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Like the phoenix from the ashes. Writing at @Slant_Magazine , @hyperallergic , others.
Atlanta
Joined June 2020
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I will NEVER not belly laugh at this, maybe the funniest thing to ever be put on television
Recreating the sound of a mummy’s voice, science is amazing! 🤔🧐
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Grotesquely funny that a movie series that by all historical precedent should have foisted a phalanx of child star monsters onto the world produced the most normal and adjusted ones of all time, meanwhile the maker of said material has gone insane.
Daniel Radcliffe on the Will Smith and Chris Rock
#Oscars
incident: “I’m just so already dramatically bored of hearing people’s opinions about it that I just don’t want to be another opinion adding to it.”
()
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Current Hollywood filmmakers asking old-timers how their movies looked so good
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Kratos being counted as LGBTQ bc he’s from Ancient Greece is a good bit
the fact that PlayStation's best three franchises have LGBTQ leads >>>>
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My fav Toriyama flex was when he drafted Android 19 and 20 as big bads and his editor was like wtf no, so then he drew 17 and 18 which were also rejected, then the first version of Cell, then the second, and finally got approval with Perfect Cell. Then he just used all of them
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A Romanian cop enjoying Greta Thunberg roasting Andrew Tate but then seeing his Jerry’s Pizza box
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<Tom Hardy Venom voice> 🎶Hello my baby, hello my honey🎶
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Han Solo trying to stall stormtroopers on the intercom saying “we’re fine…how are you?” and full-body wincing is still funnier than any “they fly now?!” ass line in the sequels
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What if Christopher Lee pulled the same “I was in black ops during WWII” shtick he did with Peter Jackson and casually told Lucas this is how ppl respond to their hands being cut off
this is such a funny reaction to having your hands cut off
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Cool how it’s been five years and they’re still blaming the talented actor whose career afaik has yet to recover from being smeared as the reason this patently stupid idea for a film bombed.
Kathleen Kennedy says they learned from ‘SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY’ that getting a new actor to replicate any of the OG characters is near impossible.
“Now it does seem so abundantly clear that we can’t do that.”
(Source: )
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I can’t quit this place
Here's my advice to single American men who feel hopeless about ever finding a good woman to marry:
Take a month or two between jobs and drive across the USA. Stop at every gas station and truck stop, and eat every meal at diners during non-rush hours. Avoid cities; stop
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I would 100% watch either an authorized biopic or a roman à clef about Will Smith aggressively micromanaging his career & image for 30 full years for both box office success and gunning for an Oscar and then finally cracking from the internal stress 20 minutes before it paid off
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Oh my god they really did it, they Pokémon Went to the Polls
French leftist leader Jean-Luc Melenchon reacts to a video of dancing Charizard on his Instagram story (via
@3arbiDuFutur
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The thing about stupid people of the past is I think by and large they knew they didn’t know anything. A medieval farmer would prob readily admit he had no idea where the sun went at night. But now the dumbest ppl think they are *geniuses*
Nowhere is cultural acceleration more evident than in the movies. As Andrej Karpathy says, movies from before 1995 are slow, boring and naive.
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Damn Chris is such a pro he came to the conference as Florence Pugh
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It is objectively and PROFOUNDLY funny that the one project marvel seems to be stymied by is BLADE. The writer’s room staring at a whiteboard with disconnected words like “vampires” and “cool Black guy” like trying to break Enigma
Mahershala Ali's attorney, Shelby Weiser, on the delayed production of 'BLADE':
"That deal was in 2019, and they still haven’t shot it, which is pretty much the craziest thing in my professional experience."
(Source:
@THR
)
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In a parallel universe the worst movie ever made is in theaters now.
James Corden almost starred in ‘THE WHALE’ when Tom Ford was attached to direct the film.
()
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The death of the loaded extras DVD of course owes to streaming decimating that market but I also think it’s gotta be said that at a certain point it stopped being fun seeing behind the scenes footage of How the Sausage Is Made when everything started to be made via green screen
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SNUBBED
The four stars of THE BANSHEES OF INISHERIN, all Oscar-nominated
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Authors used to process their insecurities through alcoholism and somehow it’s vastly less embarrassing than what goes on now.
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Doing a super spy show where anyone can be an alien and the aliens are bad but also the aliens are displaced refugees BUT ALSO sometimes the xenophobes are right and in the end none of it matters bc you have to be able to see The Marvels without having seen this…money well spent
Episode 6 of ‘SECRET INVASION’ is the lowest rated MCU project ever.
13% on Rotten Tomatoes.
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Ben Shapiro fuming that a plot twist is being DECEIVED by the writer is so gd funny man. People will swear up and down this is the figurehead of a new conservative intellectualism. The concept of fiction just freaked him out publicly lmao.
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This has the potential to be the funniest movie of all time.
Gal Gadot Says Controversial ‘Cleopatra’ Will Be ‘What the World Needs to Hear Now’
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I’m so happy I pressed play on this in spite of my better judgment
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Every day I think Bill Watterson had a Blakean vision of the future when he locked licensing of Calvin and Hobbes down from the start.
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Actual parodies of the “Black guy dies first” trope aren’t as funny as this. His literal only stated personality trait is “I very simply cannot be killed” and he gets murked about 15 minutes later.
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Unfortunately, Trump inexplicably going to the Libertarian convention, saying they should nominate him and getting so mad at the boos he goes “or not, keep getting 3 percent every four years” like a wrestling heel shit talking the local sports teams does in fact rock.
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If I were a celeb or a comedian or an artist of any kind I would take one look at the last 24 hours of Mulaney reactions and resolve to be the most unapproachable and caustic individual possible
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Impossible not to feel emotional about this. Multiple generations of preservationists have been working on reassembling what they could of this film since before I was born.
16 years in the making, the seven-hour restored cut of Abel Gance’s 1927 epic
#Napoleon
will world premiere with a 250-piece orchestra this summer.
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Something I admire about Seinfeld is that he’s legit funny when he’s self-defensive and thin-skinned which is usually a kiss of death for a comic.
This is the funniest Seinfeld clip since the show ended. Larry gets him so pissed.
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James Gunn ingeniously slipped an actual American past the casting censors by finding one with the most British name since Benedict Cumberbatch
David Corenswet has been cast as the next Superman.
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All the "Hillary warned y'all" people talk about her as if she had died which is understandable bc otherwise they'd have to contend with the fact that she has done absolutely nothing since losing the easiest lay-up election of all time except commission vanity tributes to herself
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Mike Faist is a great argument that we need to go back to sending actors to dance studios instead of pumping them full of steroids and unseasoned protein.
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I can’t find it online anymore but when Conan did Inside the Actor’s Studio at one point he drinks an entire pitcher of water while staring at Lipton the whole time just to weird him out and I’ve been laughing about it for like 15 years
There are entire Twitter accounts dedicated to sharing epic clips of comedians being about half as funny as the guy you chill with at the bar after work while Conan continues to be one of the funniest guys in show business doing the silliest shit.
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The Truman scene in Oppenheimer is still wild on a rewatch. Him doing his aw shucks routine before Oppenheimer is like “I hear the screams sir” and Truman immediately treats him like a suppurating leper and calls him a baby
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I didn’t know this was a thing in Sweden but I’m reading the replies from Swedes who are all like “…yeah and?” and howling. An entire nation is being brutally ratioed
Not here to judge but I don’t understand this. How’re you going to eat without inviting your friend?
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I genuinely think Stern has no concept of how unimportant and almost alien radio is to anyone under 30
Howard Stern upset Black NBA players ignore him while courtside: ‘Is everything racial now?’
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I will not under any circumstances be looking up the context of this image because it just sent me into the great beyond
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I love True Romance deeply but god it’s so funny that Tarantino wrote a script about a motormouth movie nerd who gushes about kung fu movies so much that a sex worker immediately falls in love with him.
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Blade Runner 2049: there’s not an ounce of noir in this yet I still think it’s one of the most profoundly lonely films ever.
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Mf looks like he’s on a registry in Whoville
Matt Gaetz had so much work done he looks like he’s dating Kanye on the rebound
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Was scrolling IG too fast to see who posted this pic but when I stopped and looked my eyes bugged out
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I want a Mad Men but specifically for the world of video game advertising from about 1991-2006
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A key element of John Wick’s success imo is that all of its badass shit has at least a toe if not a whole leg in Looney Tunes-esque comedy, but the big exception is the reloading which is just purely raw as hell lmao
you might think "oh, John Wick is reloading, now's my chance". but he is so good at reloading dude
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“The movies! Aren’t they a fucking chore?!” - all Oscar host jokes for like 15 years now
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Can’t imagine why the RLM guys would feel completely alienated from the hatewatch nerds they inadvertently juiced with videos that are now a decade+ old and are now telling them to grow up and do something they enjoy
Maybe the media giants finally discovered how to replace them with pod people.
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At its heart, King of the Hill is about two self-centered but decent people who strive very hard never to be like their own parents and end up screwing up in their own unique, non-malicious way.
Honestly it’s one of the 10 best shows of all time.
Peggy Hill being a pretty bad mom and wife is more progressive than most shows
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I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about the matte work on Marvin the Martian cartoons. It’s like Kandinsky for kids
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Javier Bardem is doing such great work in Dune 2 (there’s a close-up near the end that’s downright terrifying in complete blind faith) but I love that he also has some moments where he playfully fucks with the messiah. Watch out for the djinn! BOO! I’m kidding, but really
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The way corporate America had to invent a stupid faux-dialect to make their banal lives sound like military strategy is a pure hell. “What content is going to help us win?” you are a fucking trust fund kid looking at slide shows other ppl made for you
David Zaslav says scrapping films for tax write-offs took courage.
“What content is going to help us win? The content that wasn’t, we made a strategic decision on. It was difficult & painful... But it was necessary.”
(Source: )
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One of my fav Conan moments was his Fan Corrections segment where he made elaborate rejoinders to ppl pointing out pedantic flaws, and one was this to “prove” Lincoln died in the Ford Theater and not the Peterson House.
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This is the Roman Polanski letter for c-list and below talent
More than 450 Jewish creatives, executives and Hollywood professionals have signed an open letter denouncing Jonathan Glazer’s “The Zone of Interest” Oscar speech.
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Instead of Hillbilly Elegy u can watch Dark Waters, which is also about a man ashamed of his upbringing but instead of wallowing in contempt he risks his hard-won prosperity to defend his old community from literally being poisoned by their owners. Also has an actual director.
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Baby racking up $15k in in-app purchases while its evangelical parents make cope content using a nanny cam from 2003
The baby scrolling on the phone while she's getting cradled 😭😭😭
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Watched the full Conan Hot Ones and the end, after he’s drunk Last Dab right out of the bottle and his face is a snail trail of sinus drainage and drool, he suddenly gives a passionate monologue about comedy being in everything from Mad Magazine to Don Quixote that made me cry
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Prime Minister Abe was an immense comfort to women internationally, google Shinzo Abe comfort women
Prime Minister Abe was a champion of democracy and a firm believer that no economy, society, or country can achieve its full potential if women are left behind. I am shocked and devastated by his assassination—a loss for Japan and our world.
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I really do think that the extent to which curiosity has been programmed out of general public consciousness is one of the root causes for why art and just general behavior has gotten so dismal.
I'm afraid to announce that The Good, The Bad and the Ugly is now considered too obscure and pretentious for TikTok
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I think at this point you just have to sit back and enjoy that Dear Evan Hansen was expressly set up as a movie by Ben Platt’s dad to get his son an award and it’s prob gonna set the guy’s career back like five years
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People love to stay mad at AOC but she's really the only Dem right now on point with the correct message which is: these people are the enemy and they have to be stripped of any and all power to harm.
.
@AOC
says Kavanaugh, Barrett, and Thomas committed impeachable offenses, " I believe lying under oath is an impeachable offense and violating federal law and not disclosing income from political organizations as Clarence Thomas did is also potentially an impeachable offense."
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idk maybe if Coppola and Scorsese, two of the most indefatigably pro-cinema directors to ever do it, guys who can pop off for like 40 minutes about what they watched and liked recently, say the current models are abysmal maybe they're just not fussy old white men
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Let Tom Cruise be a lesson to any celeb who finds themselves seemingly bogged down in an inextricable PR nightmare: the only way back into the public’s hearts is to attempt to die in increasingly cool ways
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When you’re a kid you’re terrified of the day you’re out of touch and yet when it finally happens it feels like a great weight has been lifted from you and you can breathe
Timothée Chalamet and boygenius as Troye Sivan on Saturday Night Live!
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The Boy and the Heron (Miyazaki Hayao, 2023)
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Joe saying he won’t drop out unless the Lord Almighty sends him a sign shortly before like four massive PR disasters in a row is gonna be the new format of that old joke about the zealot who keeps refusing rescue offers in a flood bc God will save him.
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30 Rock was the lathe of heaven
Zaslav teases a 10-year plan for DC going forward. Not gonna release any film that isn't ready or won't make them the success they are expecting.
#WarnerBrosDiscovery
#WarnerBros
#WBD
#WBDiscovery
#HBOMax
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A bone deep cynic who cashed in on a tragedy to ride a wave of media jingoism for personal gain. One of the worst cultural relics of a deranged and evil time for culture.
Toby Keith, country music’s brash, patriotic songwriter, has died at 62.
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One of the most committed line readings of any guest actor on any show
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Trump is going to beat Don Jr with a shoe lmao
JD Vance's blog from 2005 tells of an emotional day where he "felt more like a female than I ever have or will," and explains he can't watch Zach Braff's 'Garden State' because "New Jersey's landscape is so much like Ohio's, the music is so relevant to my life right now."
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Tom Cruise getting mobbed at an Oscars lunch for “saving movies” says a lot about what the people in that town *actually* think about the Marvel and streaming era lol
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It’s truly amazing to think about how recently every actor in these had to act like these were the finest characters since Shakespeare’s and now more and more are openly talking about how demeaning and stupid this all is.
this is Anthony Mackie talking about the Captain America 4 script, which is evil by itself, but also kills me because they're based on existing comic books. i can go to a comic shop and probably figure out most of what's gonna happen in the movie.
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Bret Hart’s tribute to Scott Hall was heartbreaking and classy enough but now I see that Kevin Nash responded and I’m crying
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Huge thanks to
@bransonreese
for clueing me into maybe the funniest newspaper front page gag I’ve ever seen, from Tortoise Wins by a Hare
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When (I wanna say) Hereditary came out some guy posted a vine or TikTok or Twitter vid of him coming home and calmly saying how overrated and not scary it was and after a few seconds you realize he’s turning on every single light he walks past. That sums up me and Skinamarink.
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The Social Network IS Sorkin’s best script but at every turn there’s a reminder that if you take Fincher out of this it’s just…whole thing falls apart.
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I try not to chicken little TOO much about the State of Things re: cinema, but the number of people talking about a *Steven Spielberg* movie like it’s a rarefied arthouse bonbon that only a wannabe sophisticate could like…grim!
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The literal opposite is true, if The Sopranos started now people would be out of their minds at how much actually happens in an episode. Every major new show takes almost an entire season to provide a basic sense of its characters and milieu.
The sad truth is that if the sopranos came out today it wouldn’t make it past the first season. We simply don’t have the capacity or attention span to enjoy a show that’s 95% dialogue, no music, no montages, no gimmicks. We can’t wait 5 episodes for an arc we need it in 5 scenes.
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The damage that the revival did to this show’s rep is incalculable. The first time I saw this scene I had an asthma attack from laughing so hard.
quote with the funniest tv show scene you’ve watched
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About once a year this floats past my
TL and I stop whatever I’m doing and watch it. Just spellbinding.
here it is. the most amazing scene in television history. this was written, filmed, edited and broadcast on actual televison.
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Villeneuve making the audience demand a Dune Part 2 to get Feyd-Rautha, man’s a genius
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God I’m going to miss this place. Grindset Charles Bukowski is the Mr Show sketch I didn’t know I needed.
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I enjoy this phase of Bill Burr’s career where all his right wing peers have him on their shows bc he’s a loudmouth with no filter but then he just ends up calling them morons to their faces
“I’m on the side of the kids.”
Bill Burr supports pro-Palestine protests on college campuses. He compares Bill Maher's geopolitical analysis to a "guy that has a fantasy football team."
"This is not your thing. Why am I listening to you? What have you done? Nothing!"
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Comic book filmmakers today: “it is the most humbling honor of my life to be entrusted with this sacred modern myth. I will care for Dr. Strange as if my own child.”
Tim Burton, ‘92: “I assume they’re all named for animals bc they act like them, not looking this up”
29 years ago today, ‘BATMAN RETURNS’ released in theaters.
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I don’t want this to come off as surprise that a 20yo could be intelligent and assertive enough to stand up for themselves and their character on a set, but boy if I were a writer getting embarrassed this hard by someone who couldn’t legally drink I’d hang it up!
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One is about a freak who comes to control an army of slaves and the other is Dune Part 2 FOLKS
‘WONKA’ & ‘DUNE: PART TWO’ starring Timothée Chalamet will both release in 2023.
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���The western forces of Texas and California” imagine how powerful British people could be if they could read
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You KNOW my man wrote the “you think you’re soooo great because you have BOATS” line
Joaquin Phoenix threatened to leave Ridley Scott’s ‘NAPOLEON’ unless Paul Thomas Anderson was brought on to do script rewrites.
(Source: )
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A member of the indigenous cast approached the director and offered to k*ll Paddington
‘PADDINGTON 3’ is influenced by Werner Herzog’s ‘AGUIRRE, THE WRATH OF GOD’ and ‘FITZCARRALDO’
(Source: )
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“We’ve been looking into Michel Foucault—a great guy, not a hair on him, looks like a bowling ball—and he’s been saying that society itself is like a prison. And they’re building it, they’re building the Panoctopus. But I will stop it.”
[trump voice] They’re calling it prison abolition, folks, complex—prison industrial complex, they’re calling it. Very disgusting, very sad [crowd boos] I’m the first person to say, perhaps that none of us are free until all of us are free, and you’ll be hearing it more and more
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This is a classic Emerald Fennell joke in that it’s not funny and you can’t even figure out what she was going for in the first place.
Emerald Fennell says she would love to make a ‘JURASSIC PARK’ film and pitches her own take — “Well, first and foremost, it’s very erotic.”
“So, there’s a marriage between a man and a velociraptor and it’s basically a domestic drama.”
(via: )
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“One of the antagonists even”
random mundane white woman in film, one of the antagonists even, winning in a film with a primarily asian cast is crazy
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BREAKING: director says there’s a 45-hour cut of his film. “It’s literally the unassembled dailies including blown takes and test footage”
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A true pioneer. No one who has never been married has ever been this divorced.
Drake copped a new custom diamond necklace called “Previous Engagement” made of 42 engagement rings, representing the 42 times he thought of proposing to different women but he decided not to‼️😳🔥💎
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Probably not good that an entire generation of actors is on steroid cycles to do blatantly awful and lopsided workout regimens just to stand in front of green screens and pretend to shoot lasers
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@capybaroness
It was so bleak even at the time when the new cast first started doing press for these movies and everyone would be like “you all are about to be such huge stars!” and half the time Carrie Fisher was there with them and she would get this far off look in her eyes
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@been_herde
This back to back with the “I misgendered a random person in my replies that I had to argue with, people PLEASE put your pronouns in your user handle” is her grand slam
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