Ted
@Tedoffthegrid
Followers
12,151
Following
1,373
Media
56
Statuses
1,652
Insta- tesscatherinem Cashapp: That1gurll Venmo: Teddycate
Joined June 2023
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Internacional
• 116292 Tweets
Karol G
• 106194 Tweets
土用の丑の日
• 59450 Tweets
ゲリラ豪雨
• 39272 Tweets
デッドプール
• 36779 Tweets
Ingat
• 32585 Tweets
Mets
• 32548 Tweets
Saint Dr MSG Insan
• 28135 Tweets
ジェシー
• 27300 Tweets
Guru Purnima Celebration
• 26643 Tweets
#CarinaPH
• 24528 Tweets
O Inter
• 20777 Tweets
Toy Bank
• 19670 Tweets
Renê
• 17451 Tweets
Boone
• 10732 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
I hate advertising for content idk what to say like “hey pussy machine is up and running again” but if you wanna buy some spicy stuff dm me.
2
25
301
The hardest part of being a parent to small children for me is the dumb questions. And it makes me feel like a monster but my kid asked why he couldn’t take a vase to daycare and I said “it’s glass you can’t” and he said “what if a wizard made it not glass” get out of my face
552
13K
263K
Tried to read this to my kids at the book store and had to leave the whole place cause I was crying so hard.
960
3K
94K
You’re here to exist not entertain.
128
23K
122K
My new neighbors are a couple with kids who always play with mine and I always chat with the husband and wife. Today it was just the husband out there and he stopped me and said “you’re gonna get someone in trouble! Looking like that” and I just froze like why are men so evil?!!
901
2K
69K
Guys this is sarcasm, I don’t rip my child’s whimsy away. I am venting to fellow adults. Stop acting like I’m bin Laden. Have someone wake you up at 5 am to ask you why grasshoppers have eyes and you will see
100
852
39K
@racheltrains
I will never forget the day I broke up with my ex husband I was sobbing in the car driving away to my moms and my kids requested to play the Rick rolled song “never gonna give you up” and I was sobbing as they chanted the lyrics happily
36
432
22K
I promise you that this literally happened to me
the secret service WILL visit you for your tweet btw. you will answer the door in your brandy melville pajamas and all your calico critters out on the floor and they will ask if you have specialized military experience and if you know how to make a bomb
6
313
6K
22
247
8K
@abenyola
That’s my feelings on it honestly. I can’t handle the drama and I need a place to live. I’m going through enough. If he made a habit of it I would say something but I think he saw how visibly uncomfortable and cold I got so hopefully that will make him quit
30
28
8K
@chelsea29__
So did my mom! And I used to be so confused why she sobbed so much and now I’m like wow
2
8
6K
@goofydubs
My child walked up and I just like put my head down awkwardly and walked away, I freeze really badly with men as like a trauma response. Now I’m in my house wanting to go off but at the time I just froze :(
17
19
6K
Me when a married man is inappropriate to me unprovoked so I tweet about it and hundreds of incels tell me I deserved it because there’s a centimeter of cleavage in my profile picture
20
75
5K
My ex just texted me that I’m satans helper who shovels coal in the fires of hell. Don’t know what to do with this information but I thought it would be cruel to not give this gift to the world.
99
178
5K
@jeswes27
I said “so is anyone gonna ——- trump” and he wasn’t even president or anything at all! He was just in the beginning stages of running. I just hated him from day one and they were like “yea you can’t say that. He’s protected already” like sorry my bad, a girl can’t have hobbies?
9
25
3K
My little sister has autism and she’s never really made eye contact with me or even said anything to me and today she asked to see me by name and then came to my house and immediately said “tess I love you” my hearttttt
13
20
2K
My kid is sleeping with me and he just said “mommy can we hold toes together” and I was like “no” because that’s fucking deranged and he said “no harm little baby”
17
39
2K
My kid and I just had a funny moment and after we got done laughing I was like “aw that was a core memory for us, we are always gonna talk about this” and he said “until you get dementia.”
10
29
2K
My kid overheard my sister talking about a mean guy I dated when I was younger and Arrowe asked me “is he dead” and I said “no” and he said “oh okay not yet” and stared out the window. I think he might have something up his sleeve but I don’t wanna ask and be an accomplice
7
29
2K
It’s so crazy how breakups are really the death of a potential life. Like you’re mourning the loss of a future that will never exist and a life that in an instant completely lost a character and you’re just supposed to like make dinner?
27
145
2K
Stockholm syndrome. Remember the times you cried before 10 am on a Tuesday and stay strong.
you know what i miss about being absolutely over the moon in love and obsessed with someone. when you love their cologne and want to inhale them all the time omg. 😭
10
339
2K
13
217
1K
Literally one day started being accused of being a cheater and was under like Salem witch trial investigations relentlessly every day for like a year until I finally snapped and left cause I couldn’t handle the total isolation and assassination of my character ✨🥰🩷😘🤪😍
33
14
1K
Every time I have a bad day it’s like it’s my first time ever having a bad day.
3
318
1K
@moncol24
Me too. They pulled out a folder and had photos of me from my wedding and like random photos of me that idk how they got and they knew everything about me! When they left they said “just know you’re always on our radar now”
11
11
1K
Found my exes niche t shirt he got on our engagement trip to California as I was looking through tshirts at goodwill. Considered buying it and wearing it for children exchanges as a power move
11
5
1K
I have an interview at a bar tomorrow and I’m really nervous because I haven’t worked in 8 years but I’m telling myself that I’m a bad bitch
31
1
1K
I had a man as my profile pic for months and I got hardly any hate on my tweets and I changed it to my face yesterday and now every tweet is flowing with replies and dms from men calling me stupid and a whore.
18
5
983
@Possessionista
And you’re the one attacking strangers for having emotions that are very obviously relatable by the amount of people chiming in. Sort out your priorities
3
1
984
@Asghoull
Came to my house and investigated me and asked me straight up if I have weapons or hate memorabilia as im sitting there in my pajamas 8 months pregnant.
2
8
956
???
My new neighbors are lesbians with kids who always play with mine and I always chat with them both. Today it was just the one out there and she stopped me and said “you’re gonna get someone in trouble! Looking like that” and I just smiled.
114
8
724
15
9
952
Worked my first shift at the bar tonight and I have never been more jarringly aware of awkward I am until today. I felt like people were diagnosing me.
26
7
915
My kid on vacation just FaceTimed me and said “I got you something.”
The something in question
8
17
901
Love bombing is fun for a bit but imagine a slow burn where you like each other so much that you let tension build and leave room for yearning and spend time apart and letting things blossom organically in a way that feels like sigh of relief and not an explanation point
8
106
847
Now that I don’t have a m*n living with me i am determined to make my house look the girliest it can possibly look. I want it to look like a man has never been near it.
19
9
837
6 months ago I thought “it can’t get better (derogatory)” and now I think “it can’t get better”(happily) because I feel so free. Rock bottom can really be necessary. Give it time! Sit with it! Grieve! Face yourself and your fears. 6 months from now you could be so happy!
8
59
774
You don’t have to pretend to love him, just double down on how much u love her. People in toxic situations know we are being judged. It makes us wanna isolate more. Being a sounding board, as annoying and depressing as it is, saves people, even if it doesn’t save them right away
11
102
774
I complimented this girls highlight at the bar and she said “omg are you working tomorrow because I will bring you one! I have two” I love girlhood 🥹
1
4
724
When I think about how I was with someone 22 years older than me and thought that was okay I get really weirded out. Someone should’ve old yellered me.
14
5
691
Me when I got divorced:
15
13
653
I just got an invite for my ten year high school reunion and I almost put my phone in the microwave
16
21
651
I’m really so proud of myself for surviving the past year of my life. I’ve went through so fucking much but I didn’t give up and I didn’t lose hope and now I’m seeing all of the light at the end of the tunnel that I held out for. I deserve it.
16
60
732
I used to think the best revenge was taking it to hell when someone went low but now I think that the best revenge is not allowing someone to take your softness from you. You hurt me? Okay I’ll love harder. I will shove more love into the world and you won’t change that.
8
94
602
I refuse to believe that you guys are down so bad you wanna fuck Mark zuckerberg. Have some decorum. This isn’t who we are.
10
58
600
My life will always be full of love no matter what because I am full of love.
3
174
589
i feel so disconnected from men my age, should i try dating a 40 year old?
240
199
2K
8
14
585
@moncol24
Mine were pretty chill. One said to me before he left in such a concerned dad voice “it’s okay if you hate him! Just don’t put it in writing”
4
0
578
I hope this gets you the Neanderthal dick you’re slobbering for babygirl.
Your t1ts are out and you have a cash app link in your profile. Has it ever occurred to you that you attract scummy dudes because you’re scummy too? The decent men wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole.
17
2
29
12
16
557
Earlier my kid asked me to get him a bag of chips from the gas station and I said no and he said “awww nooo get them for papa. Get papa the chips” and it sends chills up my spine every time I think about it because why would you say that
9
6
549
Taking my kids to the pool and as we are pulling up jasper says “now mommy I don’t want you to try to make us go to the splash pad, that’s for babies, I’m a grown man” sir you’re 8
8
4
533
Whenever I get high and look in the mirror I’m like “god I’m so pretty” does that happen to yall?
29
51
527
Nothing gets me higher than spending all Sunday getting my home spotless and knowing that a man doesn’t live here to taint the energy
6
21
480
Genuinely don’t think I could handle having my heart broken ever again. there will just have to be a duel to the death. Probably with swords.
6
74
465
Being a parent and having a bad day is so unserious. I was just bawling in the car cause I had a hard day all while never gonna give you up the Rick roll song is blaring cause my kids asked for it mid cry.
6
10
456
I actually took a selfie that day hang on,
6
7
453
I was stupid.
3
98
444
I just wish I could telepathically tell every woman who may be affiliated with my exes that I am a safe girls girl who would rather die than ever consider looking at any of my exes again. Can you feel me slow blinking? I’m not a threat! I’ll braid your hair.
4
30
441
Literally have in my hinge profile that I like tall and here comes the lollipop guild asking me if 5’7 will work.
13
12
437
All men suck but I would rather be mistreated by a man with a mustache tbh
12
71
432
So for those who only talk to one person during the talking stage . Lmao what do yall do when it dont work out ? Cry and write in your journal til you find another ONE ?
177
58
596
5
27
435
The only perk of autism is that everyone says my eyes are mesmerizing because I stare really hard but really I was just taught that not making eye contact is rude so I forcibly stare into peoples souls to not blow my cover but people think it’s sexy instead
7
21
427
Why does it always have to be the most unhinged looking tweets of mine that have to go viral. I don’t want everyone to see me ugly crying omg I hate it here
13
3
437
@goofydubs
Now I’m like “do I tell her and have her whole family hate me as I have to live next door” or what, like I really don’t think I can stomach any more drama in my life 🤪
12
2
426
My behavior while having a crush on someone would’ve gotten me institutionalized a hundred years ago.
1
64
417
@Tedoffthegrid
I lost your twitter for a while and I found you again and u an B aren’t together 😭😭 I missed so many chapters
1
0
23
3
9
410
I am 🩷
8
8
413