Possessionista
@Possessionista
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47,622
Following
3,638
Media
3,449
Statuses
94,207
Young Gen X'er Immature taste in music You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
probably looking for my phone
Joined February 2009
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Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
My husband has recently discovered that he's a coffee snob.
Husband: I think I'd like a grinder.
12yo: Download it from the app store
Me:
Husband:
12yo:
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For my Gen X followers:
Charli XCX (
@charli_xcx
) saying Kamala is brat would be like if Christina Aguilera endorsed Obama by tweeting he was Dirrty.
Follow me for more Z to X translations.
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Just remember, if the Supreme Court overruns Roe v. Wade and abortion is illegal, it doesn't reduce the number of peocedures done; it reduces the number of safe procedures done.
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...and for the record, I don't think breaking off the engagement is bad.
I don't even think breaking off the engagement because he changed his mind is bad.
I think ambushing her, and doing it on camera is unforgivable.
#TheBachelor
#TheBachelorfinale
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Watch as a “patriot” drops an American flag off a scaffold and replace it with a Trump flag.
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Producer: so were thinking you get to a happy couple meet up and unexpectedly break up with her because you’re still in love with Lauren.
Arie: I love that
#thebachelor
#thebachelorfinale
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@SpiritedSparr0w
Maybe it was because they didn't have the space to store bulk?
The only thing that makes me wonder is whether you count all your customers' money or just the poor ones.
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Arie and Lauren going to see Machu Pichu, one of the seven wonders of the world.
The eighth wonder is why any of us are still watching this show.
#TheBachelorFinale
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"I forgive you," Lauren says to Arie for breaking up with her on national television and getting engaged to someone else.
In the meantime, I once gave my husband the silent treatment for a week just for eating all the red gummy bears.
#AftertheFinalRose
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@the_boobel
@nypost
@WilliamRich2012
You’re right. He wasn’t caught. His privacy was invaded. It’s not illegal to have consensual sex, but I’m pretty sure it’s a little more gray publishing private videos without the participants’ consent.
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@mark__harrison_
@alex_abads
...but especially the opinion of children who think they're better than everyone else because they're wearing center parts and the jeans their moms gave to Goodwill 25 years ago.
THAT'S WHY THEY'RE CALLED MOM JEANS AND THEY DON'T LOOK GOOD ON ANYONE.
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@TheTNHoller
A small, but empowering thing I've done is contact the
@DrSeuss
foundation and let them know that she's infringing on their trademark.
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Becca says she forgives Arie for blindsiding her with a camera crew, calling off their engagement and starting a new relationship hours later.
Meanwhile, I once made my husband sleep on the couch because he brought me a salad and forgot the dressing.
#AftertheFinalRose
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I think, looking back, Eric will go down as the most authentic, observant and honest contestant in
#Thebachelorette
history.
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Please please please let Kanye interrupt this rose ceremony to say the rose should have gone to Beyonce.
#TheBachelor
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Taking a girl to watch other people get married is like taking a girl to the airport to watch other people go on vacation.
#TheBachelor
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Hey
@usweekly
please do a side by side comparison of Becca and Lauren's engagement rings, including cut, carat and cost.
Thanks.
Love, Shallow
#AftertheFinalRose
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Oh. No.
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It's like he's waiting for her to tell him it's okay.
It. Is. Not. Okay.
It. Will. Never. Be. Okay.
#theBachelor
#TheBachelorFinale
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@PattiMurin
@emmaladyrose
@Cosmopolitan
@Jessica_Pels
I don't even watch anymore. But this is so awesome that they won't compromise their integrity for publicity.
I was just at lunch with friends who told me that the last date was at a concert where the ex-boyfriend played.
So, we're no longer pretending we want to find love?
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I'm just saying this would have NEVER happened on
@peterkrauswi
's watch.
#TheBachelor
#TheBachelorFinale
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It's ironic that people who are fighting for civil rights are being told to relax by people who were enraged over coffee cups.
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I don't understand is if Rachel knew Bryan was it from hometowns, then why did she keep pushing Peter to propose?
#TheBacheloretteFinale
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Robby thinks Amanda's former engagement is a red flag.
Robby being friends with Amanda's former fiance is the red flag.
#BachelorinParadise
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I don't watch
#TheBachelorette
anymore, but I coulda told you that Clare would have locked herself in a room and refused to film.
#ClassicClare
#ThatssoClare
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@blaireerskine
What if we all universally agree to start calling diarrhea the Joe Rogan Experience?
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I'm just putting this out there.
I think Krystal is going to end up dating Josh Murray.
#TheBachelor
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I don't think this is what
#Bachelornation
wants. The audience was clearly team Kaitlyn.
#TheBachelor
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Every one of you needs to thank
@JoelleFletcher
for saving you from the most indecisive rose ceremonies ever.
#BAchelorinPAradise
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@gartmartin9
@CPAC
I am *shocked* that someone called "little Pharoah" might have problematic views about Jewish People.
Shocked.
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Is anyone else having a hard time with Jojo using Ben and Lauren as the benchmark for the ultimate love.
#TheBachelorette
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I thought a lot about what you said. Especially the part where you threatened to choke me.
#TheBachelor
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Dear Peter Krause. Do not propose tomorrow. We are happy to date you for as much time as you need. Love, America.
#TheBacheloretteFinale
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@MatthewJshow
@JoeBiden
I look forward to never seeing your bullshit propaganda account ever again.
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Because it shouldn't take a hashtag to let women know that they're more than the sum of their body parts.
#YesAllWomen
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@TristanSnell
It could be Buttegeig, Newsom, Beto, a guy who works at Fed Ex, the president of Model UN from my high school. It doesn't matter.
VOTE BLUE NO MATTER WHO.
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It's fun watching Taylor silently diagnosing Corinne with borderline personality disorder.
#TheBachelor
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Of all the crazy things Ashley has done, admitting that Hanson is her favorite band may be the most insane of them all.
#BachelorInPAradise
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"It's not love, it's infatuation. It's an obsession." Every girl needs a friend like
@viallnicholas28
#BachelorinParadise
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Hey, remember in 2016 when Hillary Clinton was trailing so she sued all the states and demanded everyone stop counting and then her supporters appointed themselves poll watchers and stormed counting facilities?
Yeah, me either.
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Just realized the Fantasy Suite dates/rose ceremony is basically a real life game of Fuck, Marry, Kill.
#TheBacheloretteFinale
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I don't care that Juan Pablo hasn't told Nikki he doesn't love her. I do care that he insults Chris Harrison.
#bachelor
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Arie: Who do you think I should choose?
Mom: Becca
Dad: Becca
Sister: Becca
Brother: Becca
America: Becca
Arie:
#TheBachelorFinale
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I'm done. I'm just gonna retweet
@OliviaCaridi
's date card face for the rest of the season.
#TheBachelor
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Rachel, determined to get married, chooses the guy who says he is not ready to get married. Rachel is all of us.
#TheBacheloretteFinale
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Are yours brunette?
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I was so conflicted in Peru but I was 100% confident that filming me breaking up with you was the right decision.
#Thebachelorfinale
#TheBachelor
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"I want to marry Lauren."
Maybe you guys should start out with coffee, Arie.
#TheBachelor
#ATFR
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Caila is back to remind us that it was a good idea to make Jojo the Bachelorette.
#BachelorinParadise
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Tonight Jojo will be meeting Luke's mom Susie, his dad Bill, his sister Abby and still not Aaron Rodgers.
#TheBachelorette
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...and as
@awatazzz
turns to leave, Nick whispers longingly, "but you're a shark..."
#TheBachelor
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James. The last time someone said something bad about Jordan Rodgers he was left in the middle of the woods.
#TheBachelorette
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I’m doing it.
I’m going to watch
#TheBachelorette
this season.
But I’m going to need a primer on everything I’ve missed since Arie dumped Becca.
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Roses are red
This is simplistic
Vaccinate your kids
It won't make them autistic
#NewEndingsToRosesAreRed
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"Get away and work on your relationship" is literally the best advice that's ever been given on this show.
#AftertheFinalRose
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What love story doesn't begin with, "he reached out to me on Instagram?"
#AfterTheFinalRose
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Maybe you could think of it as 1753 days after Sandy Hook.
Or 473 days since Orlando.
Gun control is a legitimate issue, but for the Dems already raising it after Las Vegas massacre, could we just have a day before plunging in
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@RealCandaceO
filthier and more immature than "grab them by the pussy?"
Just trying to understand the scale.
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Nothing says "ready to be a stepfather" like comparing your dog to someone's children.
#BachelorinParadise
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@DonaldJTrumpJr
YES. And Hilaria can play your girlfriend Kim Guilfoyle, pretending she likes you for the last few years, as opposed to the gold digging grifter that she actually is.
It would be the second funny thing SNL has produced in years. (The first being AB's impersonation of your dad.)
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@TVietor08
It's weird that they can find connections between random numbers and people, but not between mask wearing and slowing the spread of an airborne virus.
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Next time I spend the entire day watching Netflix and eating chips in bed and my husband asks what I did all day, I'm just gonna tell him I invested in myself.
#TheBachelor
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Kaitlyn challenges the guys to date this many people and not make a mistake. I challenge them to date one for starters.
#TheBachelorette
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Chris is thinking of unicorns. And fairies. And maybe he and Ashley S have more in common than we previously thought.
#TheBachelor
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Whether Biden wins or loses, it's jarring to realize that most of this country is suffering from a lack of moral compass.
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@nosmokenomore
If Lala thinks her future is dependent on Ariana interacting with Tom, then Lala shouldn't be on the show because she's not interesting enough on her own.
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Whoever decided that Andi should go horseback riding after two overnight fantasy dates is a sick, sick person.
#TheBachelorette
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The Ouija board reads, "Why did you make love to me if you are not in love with me."
#TheBachelor
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If Donald Trump wins I hope he legalizes marijuana right away, because I'm going to need to be really, really high for the next four years.
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NONE Of them has been Peter. It's like you had one taste of steak and now refuse to eat hamburgers.
#TheBachelor
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