Mark Ruffalo sounds like the name a dog would give if he was pretending to be a man.

From now on I'm only leaving the house if I look like an extra from The Breakfast Club

@ryan_gunther No thankfully, I'm only on season two and so scared of what's going to happen to me when I finish this show 🥲

@Bullwong Next-level show for sure.

@CBthebackbooth I'm so preemptively sad about finishing all of the episodes. I just think some shows shouldn't end? For my mental health

@callmebrent93 No no, see to keep the plant alive, he needs snacks (same). I am merely a vehicle to help the circle of life do its thing because this dumb hungry plant is a very bad hunter. If I didn't feed it, it would die. This is basically the trolly problem and I pulled the lever

@Djentlem4n This may be the nicest compliment I've gotten before 8 am, thank you!

@JThomasOfficial Eats so much more neatly than me 😞

@ProfessorBleedy Slaving all day over a hot worm 😭😭😭😭😭😭 ungrateful little

@Desincarne As long as nobody sees it, it doesn't exist

@DBigGreenFish This is a good rule

Dating in your 30s is so weird. I hooked up with a guy and he sent me home with this. It's not drugs. It's just brownies that he made because he thought I might want brownies.

When I say I need a drink after a long day, this is what I mean

2025 is not going to be one of the best years of our lives, so embrace your inner goblin. Go out in sweats. Don't go out at all. Stop saying yes because you feel like you should, start saying "no thanks, I'd rather eat cheese and hang out with my cats." Do this year for you.

At least buy me a drink first

[Putting the exact same task on my weekly to-do list for the 22nd week in a row] maybe this time

RT @elle91: The "Twelve Days of Christmas" person's significant other opening yet another present

"Let's take this outside" yeah bro let's take it all the way to the pond because you're a silly fucking goose