โ๐๐๐๐ช ๐๐ ๐ฃ ๐ช๐ ๐ฆ๐ฃ ๐๐๐ ๐ฅ๐ค
@SumDumHoe
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1,834
Following
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Media
2,686
Statuses
12,387
You know what I'm talkumbout Self-deprecating and yet vaginally-confident. If you like my jokes, buy me some coffee! โฌ๏ธ
Joined March 2022
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
I did a thing!
If I make you laugh, consider contributing to my caffeine fund ๐ฅน
If I've made you laugh a lot in the past, I fully expect laugh reparations from the date you followed me until now, with interest ๐
Some of you aren't eating this month.
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Got blocked this morning for pointing out that the success of Star Trek's space socialism relies on a magical food machine.
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@b1g_damage
Not being about to reach the center of your back to scratch seems like a major design flaw, too
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Guys.
Hey, guys.
Stfu for a minute.
This is an old photo of me and my class at Gettysburg battlefield.
Everyone is accounted for.
Except for this.
WTF
IS
THIS?!?!?!
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@Nightmarewolf2
@funnygamedev
Probably somewhere fus ro menendezing his parents for naming him that
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@Slatzism
Yeah, lemme just pop on over to the salon and get a brazilian while I'm 9 months pregnant and ready to pop so the pooftahs don't have to view a pubic hair.
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@AnneFromMaine
Being in your cart doesn't it reserve it. I can't believe this needs explained to you. You wasted all that time. Look at yourself and feel shame.
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Thank you, Trekkies, for helping me (a person who doesn't watch the show) realize the full idiocy of their take through the additional lore and context you provided ๐
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Excuse me, miss.
You put yo tiddies on crooked.
What would you say if you saw me walking by you? ๐
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Rate my setup
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@bicks236
@TuckerCarlson
@JordanUhl
The algorithm was trying to trick your body into making some testosterone.
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Idk what almost *42* is supposed to look like, but *I'm* it
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I just think they should make some new shows and movies instead of woke-shitting all over nostalgia.
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I'm a beaner
(a person who thinks beans belong in chili)
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When my exes die
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"It's 9pm, honey. Time for your 15th ball draining"
I'll pass lol. Nothing about this sounds enticing.
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I've been recovering from a pretty big surgery, but: I'm alive, bitches!
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Yung Papizzle is about to drop the hottest rap album of 2023.
What's the name of it?
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@HerbertHill
@kayatweetsstuff
@LadyDemosthenes
I worked for the IRS helpline years ago. I can fully back up your assessment.
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His opinion is shaky, at best.
Michael J. Fox says
#FamilyTies
โ Alex Keaton would have abandoned the GOP long before Trump and the Jan. 6 attack: โHe would have left. I donโt think Alex would even see Republican and Democrat now. Heโd see normal people and crazy, fascist weirdos.โ
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Time to divide my followers.
Tuna melt
Smash or pass?
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Dinner boutta be ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ
Wypipo, take notes ๐
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$37 worth of Temu merchandise was destroyed in the making of this video
According to a World Shipping Council report, up to 1,382 shipping containers are lost at sea each year
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I knew I should've put quotes around socialism
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My skin routine makes me feel like a whore ๐
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A reminder that TERFs are just real women who refuse to play along with mentally ill men.
The boundary violation is part of what makes it thrilling to him.
This isn't a selfie. It's a trophy.
About to use the female toilet at the count. Nothing you can do to stop this woman. Message to TERFs in the counting room.
#TransAndProud
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The only place I've ever heard about a national day of hate is from rabid lefty weirdos like you.
Hearing about the "National Day of Hate" planned tomorrow by white supremacists with antisemitic rallies just burns my fucking blood.
This Black, Muslim man stands in solidarity with my Jewish Sisters and Brothers.
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I saw this man w gun, at a grocery store in north Scottsdale, AZโฆ.very high end area, far north of the city, very low crime, so I just have to ask why? Felt so odd to see it in that environment!
What do you all think?
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Guk guk guk
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The "Child support"
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Dude stood in front of my house today for about 10 minutes and just...read a book ๐คจ
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I can see it now.
*Police knocking*
"You got a warrant?"
"No, we just want to tal..."
"Wrong answer."
*Click*
*HWWWOOOONNGGGGGG*
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When your custom character shows up in a cutscene
John Fetterman speaks at a press conference on the debt ceiling negotiations.
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Poured one out for the Juice today
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@adam22
Awww! Would you look at that?
You got fame!
And all it cost you was your masculinity, your dignity, and a normal future for your children!
But everyone's talking about you. That's all that matters, right? ๐
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Evewyone.
Wisten up.
I'm sewwing...
Twading cawds.
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This is one of those situations where I'd be ok with turning off the body camera for a little while.
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It's ok.
You can like my buns.
No one will know ๐คซ๐
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Imagine having to punch every buffalo wing to death before you eat it
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So *that's* where she keeps her extra chromosomes ๐ค
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a friend just sent me this pic from Burning Man.
a friend just sent me this pic from Burning Man.
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If I mention the name of these handlebars right now, I'll get banned.
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@_Elemani_
@bepumpermad
@TheAmreco
@writtenflair
@BornAKang
The wonders of modern imaging. My grandmother found out she was carrying a second when there was a foot sticking out of the c-section and the first baby was already out with all parts intact XD Twin aunts!
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Porn
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Finna be a cream pie ๐ซฆ
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Late GM
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@ProfPod
@IWF
@Riley_Gaines_
You mean the guy I watched literally hold back so he wouldn't blow the women *completely* out of the water?
That guy?
With the penis?
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Looks like she's on trial for luring kids into her candy house and eating them.
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Little bastard can't keep getting away with it
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I need to start a service where large-breasted women will compassionately asphyxiate you with their bosoms.
I'm gonna call it "Milk Maid"
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This man has been staring at my house for 4 solid days.
He doesn't even leave for sleep.
He seems to pull tinned fish from thin air and eats it in the most disconcerting way.
His gaze is never averted.
He never stops.
It's terrifying and I'm convinced he can't be human.
Help.
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Your last saved meme is why District Attorney Bragg has indicted you
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This is boner terrorism
I think we may have jumped the gun with the whole "Free Britney" thing.
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A person's face before and after you tell them you dispatch pedos with extreme prejudice in your spare time
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I've got another convection to bake
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When she hasn't been picking up on your hints, so you have to send a clearer signal
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I'm more excited than I should be about organizing my pantry. Is this what it feels like to get old? ๐
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Pic with glasses. Your turn.
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I'm through with being tame ๐
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Timeline cleanse
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@metapills
Has "coercion" and "free choice" become interchangeable in some people's minds or something?
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GM!
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A delicious story in 4 parts ๐ ๐คค
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You're not civilized unless you have a ridiculous selection of
*checks notes*
cheese.
This is the cheese section at the local supermarket in Montreal. The US is an uncivilized country
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@ingelramdecoucy
@krassenstein
They do be lumpy af, tho. Like trying to sleep on stale cheese curls. Just look at it. It's like the poor pillow is going through puberty. I feel a duty to warn my friends.
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It's the OceanGape Tighten
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You didn't even get any of the classics, like:
Basketball American
Dindus
Bike acquisition specialists
And, the newest addition,
Seasoning police
Proper list of coded N-words (CONTEXT DEPENDENT!):
- urban
- thug
- mob
- woke
- divisive
- SJW
- sketchy
- unkempt
- sloppy
- criminal
- low-income
- welfare recipient
- rioter
- Democrat
- fatherless
- liberal
- looter
- BLM
- CRT
- radical
- race baiter
- American
- activist
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This is what I wanted to be as a kid ๐
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Bears finding out about all the hot single women in their area that wanna hang out
Itโs the owner not the breed, donโt be stressed at all.
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If my neighbors knew what I was sending out in my mailbox this morning, I'd have to move ๐
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