Standard Issue
@StandardIssueUK
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A podcast by women. For women. About everything. @MicksterNoonan @thatdunleavy @inspireajen
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It's our 10th birthday! 🎂 🎈 To celebrate, here's a special podcast, in which we're chatting to the boss herself - Sarah Millican - about a decade of Standard Issue, why we started and some of our highlights.
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Today we are giving NO prizes to men who haven’t assaulted a woman, haven’t raped a woman, haven’t killed a woman. Same deal tomorrow. And the day after.
Raise the fucking bar, lads. Our lives depend on it.
#notallmen
#butalwaysmen
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A little wondrously pretty for your Thursday.
This is what happens when a bubble freezes
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Every woman dealing with every thing every day. Ever.
You see this smile, Betty? It's not really a smile, it's the lid on a scream.
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If you insist on cracking an OCD joke, at least make it a good one, says
@scriblit
.
@ocdaction
#OCDWeekOfAction
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"Let’s be clear: women are not stupid. If we were rewarded for being direct in emails, we would be direct in emails. Softened language, a conciliatory attitude, superfluous apologies – these are not the result of low self-esteem but of a calculation..."
Hear, hear
@Martha_Gill
!
I wrote about "no worries if not" and how irritating it is when people tell women to be more confident
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OCD? Is that the hilarious mental illness were people are really tidy? No, it's not, says
@Scriblit
#OCDWeekOfAction
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911
We've been watching this for a full five minutes. HYPNOTIC.
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The rule is, when someone puts this back in your timeline, you must watch it. At least three times. Incredible scenes.
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Your reminder that
#joinin
is for anyone feeling lonely or alone on Christmas Day. It’s a wonderful place to chat to folk all there for each other. This will be the 9th year of
@SarahMillican75
's excellent campaign. Please RT to spread the word.
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Happy
#WorldPastaDay
folks. We've been watching this mesmerising pasta gif for going on three weeks now.
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Strong catting.
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From this April. A lone girl flags down the Met for help and gets struck 30-odd times with a baton. Because those "cracks" officers keep slipping through are really fucking big.
BREAKING: Met police officer dismissed after using up to 34 baton strikes on Black teenage girl with learning disabilities. Sophie Naftalin & Sohini Mehta at Bhatt Murphy acting for the family.
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Our thoughts and love go out to all those affected by the London attacks. And this. Always this.
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.
@clarebalding
tells us why she thinks
@Sport_England
's
#ThisGirlCan
campaign is a super idea
http://t.co/oLYgwNHVD3
http://t.co/bL2O9Kudoc
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Sleep not happened yet? Here's the Norwegian version of Mr Bump. You're welcome.
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Waiting on the Strictly results? Catch up with
@susancalman
chatting about the omnipresence of glitter
#TeamCalman
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A thousand times this.
Katie Price might not see your comments mocking and blaming her for being beaten up by her abusive partner, but every woman on your social media who has been abused or violated by men can see your comments and see you for who you really are.
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There are about 683 reasons why we love
@ayeshahazarika
. Here's one.
Here is the real contribution
@GMB
won’t put out. Here
@ayeshahazarika
brilliantly spells out reality debunking UKIP lady ludicrous assertion that
#cummingsgate
is a narrow Brexit issue. Sums it up perfectly. Watch 👇🏼
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Classic Rik - still making us laugh.
@Pandamoanimum
's found some good'uns for the Round -Up.
http://t.co/DEWsj1u1vF
http://t.co/t5KuHpVU6p
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If you're on your lonesome this Christmas and don't want to be,
#joinin
with our
@SarahMillican75
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Victoria Wood couldn’t make it to our gig last year. But she sent
@SarahMillican75
an email as to why.
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Jane is very much on to something here.
Face masks also stop random men coming up to women and saying “smile, love, it might never happen,” so I’m going to wear one for the rest of my life.
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Maybe we should just, I dunno, STOP SEXUALISING 4-YEAR-OLD GIRLS.
Are modesty shorts for four-year-olds a good idea?
As a precaution to protect girls as young as four, who may bare all mid-cartwheel, some schools have introduced modesty shorts to uniform policy.
The
#LooseWomen
would love to hear your views? 👇
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This is as mesmerising as it is peculiar.
Why does Matt Hancock sit down like Woody in Toy Story when a human enters the room
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We are all of Jonathan Swan's faces. ALL of them.
This would be a perfect slice of comedy... if it wasn't the real fecking POTUS.
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YES IRELAND! We're happy dancing all over the shop at the
#Repealed
news. Love to all the brilliant women and men who played their part in history.
Northern Ireland, we're looking at you. You're next.
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We came, we saw, we kicked ass, but sadly it’s time for us to go offline. We will still be around for ears. Read on
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NEW CHOPS IS HERE! And this week,
@thatdunleavy
chats to
#Ghosts
stars and co-writers
@JimHowick
and
@benwillbond
about sucking off Mary, what's coming this Christmas and what it's like to have someone tattoo your face onto their body. Tuck in!
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Well, the exit polls look dreadful. I’ve got nowhere near enough cigarettes to get through this. I’m taking an early break to go to the shop.
#ElectionResults2019
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My god. A sanitary towel advert with no blue liquid in sight?
@MsAshleyDavies
' impressed.
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This is a brilliant sight. Irish women continuing to kick 2018's arse.
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.
@lucytweet1
describes - in wonderful detail - a real beach body. Happy holidays everyone!
http://t.co/Vb1EHSOPvE
http://t.co/7LLN9VXkn5
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This, folks, is why picking the right font is important. Here's
@Pandamoanimum
's RoundUp.
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Congratulations to our
@micksternoonan
who went and got herself hitched yesterday - what a pair of smashers they are, seen here throwing some shapes in celebration 👰❤🤵.
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THIS. SO VERY MUCH THIS.
Emma Thompson tells us the Harvey Weinstein allegations are just the tip of the iceberg of a wider and systemic problem in Hollywood
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The ace
@cheryleehouston
talks IDS' resignation & "systematic bullying" of disabled people
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Daniel Sloss hitting the nail on the head here.
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No matter how your day's gone so far, what now follows is the best 42 seconds of it.
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Feel like all hope is lost? Remember this pic of Mr Cumberbatch being born with his adult face, says
@Pandamoanimum
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This is starting to remind me of the news clips you get at the start of films to explain how the apocalypse started.
#EUref
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We've said it before. We'll say it again. We fecking LOVE
@jessphillips
.
I will make my way to Parliament and get there by this evening and I will start to table questions on the Domestic Abuse Bill.
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“I think we’re going to need more swear words.”
@thatdunleavy
charts WTFJH in President’s Trump’s first week.
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Children fleeing domestic violence often have to leave everything behind. That's where
@buddybagsuk
steps in.
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The late, great David Bowie would have been 70 years old today. So we're listening to this playlist today ❤️
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This poster has been annoying the shit out of us, and this is the best kind of graffiti. 👏👏👏
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So sad to hear about Caroline Aherne. Thanks for all the laughs, lady. Our thoughts go out to her family & friends.
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Utter smasher
@SusanCalman
is going to Blackpool with
@bbcstrictly
. Whoop, holler, clack your clackers and, if you haven't already, listen to this to find out why it's bloody lovely news.
#TeamCalman
#tinydancer
#rock
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So sorry to hear about Jo Cox. What a senseless act. Our thoughts go out to her family and friends. RIP.
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Tampons are taxed because they are classed as a luxury product. Oh the luxury!
http://t.co/I7z6pQkiIb
http://t.co/5woH5fqzMi
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How do you talk to women in various scenarios where they don't want to be talked to? Allow
@EscapologistFi
to help.
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Whatever your stance on the institution of the monarchy, it's hard not to acknowledge the leadership and service shown by HRH Elizabeth II over her 70-year reign. A woman in a man's world, and a constant during a period of immense and perpetual change.
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We've got everything crossed for our sisters across the Irish Sea today. C'MON IRELAND – DO YOUR WOMEN RIGHT! May the repealing of the 8th commence.
#repealthe8th
#VoteYes
#TogetherForYes
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He knows she doesn't want to talk to him. The creepy fuck doesn't care. She stays polite so as not to risk angering him.
Don't know a woman who hasn't had to do this.
One of the things I wish men understood is that girls have interactions like this EVERY DAY
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Goodbye 2010s. We're grateful to
@SarahMillican75
for having the idea for
@StandardIssueUK
and making it happen, to all the kick-ass women doing stuff worth talking about, and to each and every one of our listeners – the reason we do what we do. Let's have it, 2020!
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This is why you always trust Yahoo Answers. Here's
@Pandamoanimum
's brilliant Round-Up
http://t.co/5bdFnb9lxO
http://t.co/nYsgiSetV2
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It could’ve been worse Heather, it really could have.
@Pandamoanimum
's gathered more funnies.
http://t.co/ztlwmokAB4
http://t.co/5Kp7JgS59R
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.
@susiejverrill
describes the Twitter backlash after her boyfriend,
@GregJRutherford
, questioned Fury’s SPOTY nom.
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We knew our readers were the absolute best, but the love today has been overwhelming. Thank you so much from a very soggy SIM team. You rock
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Well, Dundee's in for a treat. Here's
@Pandamoanimum
's Round-Up.
http://t.co/exPE1nhOHz
http://t.co/mL5ZAhD27g
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We've only gone and hit a million downloads. Whoop! To celebrate this amazing number, we're going to be doing a few giveaways. Keep your peepers peeled.
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.
@Pandamoanimum
's found a bunch of ace internet stuff again. It's mainly cats, but still.
http://t.co/pg4A6RCTIe
http://t.co/OE1IjrtLHk
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Incredible work. Baffling that this wasn't already a thing.
Children will now be recognised within the statutory definition of Domestic Abuse. Always speak up and keep pushing. We now have one week to make sure all victims regardless of their status are protected. We can do this!
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Can't snooze? Want to watch a labrador be adorabley shit at obedience instead?
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Dear shops, please stop forcing your staff to ask inane questions. It would make
@Jo_Caulfield
& many others happy.
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118 women killed by a man in the past year. 118. It takes Jess four minutes to read out all of their names, an act which ensures they are recorded in the official parliamentary records.
Thank you
@jessphillips
&
@K_IngalaSmith
for doing right by women victims of male violence.
Since last year on this day, these are the women killed in the UK where a man has been convicted or charged as the primary perpetrator in the case.
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Yes, yes. Think we all needed this today.
If anyone needs cheering up, eggs were once known as ‘cacklefarts’, and a hankie was called a ‘snottinger’.
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The Hounds of Love turned 30 years old last year – here’s why
@Aliceliverpool
still loves it
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.
@Pandamoanimum
's gathered more Internet gems. Check out this guy, he wins all the dad awards.
http://t.co/FGeqGUqh9h
http://t.co/QwPxxwN57K
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If you fancy a reminder of the good in people, then
@MarcusRashford
's timeline right now is the place to be. 💛😭
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Apologies if you heard us screaming into the abyss again.
8 yo daughter came home irritated today about the “girl masks” and “boy masks” that were distributed to her class.
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In solidarity with A Day Without A Woman, Standard Issue isn't around today. Normal service resumes at 6am tomorrow.
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Dear Michelle Obama, can you just never leave the White house please?
@MsAshleyDavies
will miss you too much.
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Just the awesome
@BootstrapCook
serving an absolute edgelord his arse on a plate with a side of plain pasta. 👏👏👏
Seriously, people with money telling people with no money that they're doing poverty wrong rather than showing some fecking empathy need to get in a bin.
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@holly_bourneYA
Pernod. Pernod and black coming back up makes for some hard-to-clean redecorating. [Mickey]
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.
@louconran
didn’t have a miscarriage, she had to terminate her
baby’s life. Why is this still taboo, she asks.
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