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Tortured Actuaries Department Profile
Tortured Actuaries Department

@SkipSandwich

Followers
655
Following
1,486
Media
385
Statuses
13,717

Puts a little skip in your step | Games, queer stuff, the Bible | She/Her/Fastest Mario | Masto: @SkipSandwichDX @dice .camp | Bsky: @SkipSandwichDX @bsky .social

Northern Virginia
Joined February 2008
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
Loved this conversation. Please give it a listen.
@TRSPTB
trans regret snoopy
1 year
Episode 72 - The Unpardonable Sin with @SkipSandwich . Topics include the Lord forgiving and abounding in steadfast love, blaspheming the Son, blaspheming the Holy Spirit, and how to wind up on God's bad side (calling unclean what God has made clean).
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@jessicobra Also a disrespectful episode because this show is Korean and in Korea it is considered very rude to shoot somebody
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@hausofdecline Imagining the mouth flapping to the gunshots
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@femaIeboyfriend If you know something about Ezra Millers whereabouts please tell the authorities
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@lingerie_addict I posted on Facebook about repairing one of my favorite shirts and had people ask if I was doing okay financially. We're in a very bizarre mindset about clothes now.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@epistemophagy Had a cis friend who cosplayed as a dude for a group and she said everyone treated her like a dude and the shapewear freaked her out and she felt gross and weird at the end of the day and now hides the chest binder she wore because it freaks her out to see it. I was like
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
6 months
Lots of gay bars are trans-welcoming, but twice now I've been to @AsYouAreDC and there's been a trans woman with her Switch docked on a TV in the back room who spent the entire time I was there optimizing Fire Emblem loadouts. That's a truly trans-affirming environment.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 months
@bencjenkins In the script for the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy radio show it has the direction " [the howling wind, which i forgot to mention until now, sorry, abruptly ceases] "
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 months
@hausofdecline I did it to myself early on when my doctor called to talk about my prescription. "Can I talk to Samantha?" "This is Him." "..." "Her. This is her." Very weird call to get that wrong on.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@LolOverruled They'd have called it something like Patriot Day and I refuse to take that seriously
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@gwensnyderPHL If only COVID smelled funny
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 months
@HannahPosted I just switched Sams
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
8 months
@morninggloria "...written as if you are Foghorn Leghorn"
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@televisionaryZW @AltHistCody no the ducks in the can are still alive
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@CriminalUnionFW Good point but also I would definitely think they were putting a bug in it and refuse a cop taillight
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
10 months
@mielfuzz @Dare2Dreamrpg Tommy's house has good rooms for a Legion to meet in at least
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 months
@horngal Tell me about the classes, George
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@yacobg42 Welcome to my collection of sayings, "Well aren't you the deepest diving honeycrisp snail?", we're gonna have a good time.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@dellcam Happy trans awareness week.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@ngocbbuii Pride month is not an excuse to shout your kinks in public, dear God.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@drmistercody If you replace one of the opponents in a boxing match with a toddler it wouldn't be okay at all. Makes you think.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
6 months
@vanillaopinions it's Mr. Beast
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
Tweet media one
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@Dormiyusaur @Esqueer_ My father-in-law said the exact same thing to me in the coming-out conversation. They think our every second of existence is an inappropriate conversation about our genitals.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
3 years
@_samanthalux I've never been misgendered at the gun range, which I've found interesting.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@thornhawthorne "Honey this was what MAKES me smoking"
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@ContraPoints You would be too if you learned the truth about factory-farmed boyfriends.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
3 years
@drmistercody They should start crediting him as "Clint Eastwood (Libertarian)" in all films.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@diannaeanderson Not serving baptists is the spicy move
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
Gender is a construct, meaning it has 60-foot darkvision, does not have a Constitution score, and is immune to all mind-affecting effects or any effect that requires a Fortitude save that does not affect objects.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
3 years
@Nickitynack69 @shorn_silk We need to go deeper
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@drmistercody I reached down and twisted the coke in my cupholder by accident trying to put the car in park.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 months
@HannahPosted I told people i expect this to free up more energy for getting my pronouns right
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@JetsenSunday "you should have to come forward within-" *Checks note on his calendar* "Five years and four months"
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
3 months
@RiverTamYDN @ArgonGruber was trying to figure out what United Methodists had to do with this
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
9 months
@lesbianvulcan oh i thought the I was for intersex, my bad
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
7 months
"I can't be antisemitic; i support the idea of all the Jews going to one country so that, during the apocalypse, Jesus can kill most of them" is really a sentiment that has been allowed to be taken far too seriously for far too long.
@QueenMab87
Dr. Mia Brett
7 months
I’m a Jewish expert in American antisemitism. Evangelical Zionists are 100% antisemites and it’s definitely not up to Christians to make that determination
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
3 years
@ContraPoints I hate when people who care about me stop from self-destructing in ways I find enjoyable in the moment.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@shaun_vids Gonna shake my head while reading it so people know I disagree
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
Still unclear if she will step down.
@Phil_Lewis_
philip lewis
1 year
Sen. Dianne Feinstein has reportedly died at 90
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@iamtherog Can't wait for The The Twitter Files Files
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@theB4NP But seek ye first the kingdom of heaven, and all these things shall be added unto you for $8/month
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
3 years
@GoBackToPatmos @shaun_vids Back in 1790 when the books were written the idea of a slave race was much more palatable.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@ch_arrowood Less bitchy but I liked a company's "employees who are concerned about sharing facilities with transgender co-workers are free to seek facilities on different floors of the building or use a single-occupancy gender-neutral restroom"
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
3 months
@Very__Regular My office is just trying to get anyone in the door so I just wear normal jeans now and am kinda daring them to say anything about it. So far nobody has. And the new hires saw that and are wearing jeans so I think we won.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
4 months
@Yelix I remember that feeling when Sonic Adventure 2: Battle came out on Gamecube.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@Rockenberg_Ltd Oops you're on an RP server
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@MattBinder And even if it wasn't, "we trained the chat bot to be a bigot" is something that has happened to every "AI" thing on the internet in the first 20 minutes of its existence
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@JustinWhang @twinkophrenia That's why my favorite house rule is that if you draw a card and go "This would have been perfect!" someone gets to punch you
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
5 months
@redrum_panda "the system has worked informally" is a very funny way to say "it used to be unsafe for a trans person to go outside if they weren't hot"
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@fujomod3r There's a self-hatred among conservative-leaning trans folks who need to apologize for how gender theories must be queered for them to live, so they become warriors for the minimum viable queering. Changing the status quo terrifies them, and they hate people who do it happily.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@KatyMontgomerie My mom made a Facebook post about how she saw a young girl in a store meowing like a cat and how she weeps for the lies this generation is being told. The paranoia is just completely out of control.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 months
@dwaldenwrites I always adored that line in To Kill A Mockingbird when Calpurnia chides Scout saying "That boy is your company. And if he wants to eat up that tablecloth, you let him, you hear?" It had a permanent impact on my views of hospitality and humility.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
10 months
Progressive Christians thinking we can go "the Jews are killing Jesus again" and have no responsibility for confronting our continued role in historic antisemitism is exactly why the "not real Christianity" fallacy is so harmful. We can and must work for peace better than this.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@alissacaliente @Michael40244160 I am a roflcopter and my pronouns are soi/soi/soi/soi/soi
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
4 years
@PhilosophyTube Thought this was a philosophical question at first and I was like "Oh, dang, AM I a brand? Interesting..."
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@Esqueer_ "sorry I've been hot in two completely different ways"
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@fruitdotzip Glad someone is doing the REAL journalism.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
7 months
I saw Jesus of Nazareth recently told his followers to "Take up their cross", essentially encouraging the commission of crimes against the state. This sort of radical violent talk from the left is exactly what's wrong with the movement, and so I have uninvited him to my podcast.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
6 months
@masonmennenga "You are too incurious about the past" "Hey did you know our church came from a split in congregations in 1845 when-" "SHUT UP"
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 months
@HannahPosted didn't have to change email addresses at least
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@joshcarlosjosh "restraining orders make no sense" says abusive ex
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@ErinInTheMorn While obviously the actual laws and oppression are the worst part, it is particularly maddening the extent to which they have the gall to be offended when we're being exterminated in a way that hurts their feelings.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
Joyce is on a warpath and I love it.
@JoyceCarolOates
Joyce Carol Oates
2 years
when women demanded the vote, when minorities demand to be treated equitably, it will seem like "social contagion" to those who imagine themselves doling out permission for others to live as freely & without risk as they do.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@hecubian_devil Gonna put "🔥🏋️AMAB OWNED 🏋️🔥" on my Crossfit gym
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
7 months
@yugiohtas LittleKuriboh was in the booth insulting TeamFourStar and i saw one of the kuribohs and the kuriboh looked at me
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@GreatCheshire i love singing this song karaoke and watching people in the room realize what it's about for the first time and/or get the bit when i sing the "talks like a man" line in my deep dude voice
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
3 years
@PhilosophyTube Do you do the mental dance where you want to nod but also don't want to let them know you can clock them at a glance but you know you're both staring at each other for the same reason so you should probably don't do it but you could not and then believe you're uncloclockable too
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
11 months
@headfallsoff @ShickDits just one more genocide bro. i promise bro just one more genocide and it'll fix everything bro.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@shaun_vids Someone at work told "i would double my commute time to avoid being around Metro Crazies" and i was shocked at just how blunt they were willing to be about this
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@redrum_panda I was like 9, we were eating somewhere and my parents made a comment about how obedient I was. I said "I don't really care enough to argue about things" and people at the table found that cute instead of deeply concerning
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@LauraJedeed It's time to befriend Nazis, but not service workers
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
Apollo stopping me from reading @TheRaDR 's book as cats do not repent of their wrongdoings and do not want to live in a world where they are accountable for their crimes.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
6 months
We were crying in our bedrooms because our moms were telling us that homosexuality threatens the fabric of society and teaching us how to pray when these thoughts tempt us to try her clothes on again, so we threw ourselves into boy's discipleship groups in church to "fix us"
@roseveniceallan
Venice Allan
6 months
Why were there no ‘trans kids’ in the nineties?
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
3 years
@Somecallmejon Sonic CDeez nuts ayyyyyy
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
4 months
Throwing these out from our float #CaptialUMCpride
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
4 months
@AlanMCole But when you click an email address it will still open a program called "email" that doesn't work
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@swoodoid @youngfishgod @StetsonWRLD I've definitely been in a "go pick up my own damn pizza" renaissance lately
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
3 years
@IHeartFargo @Miss_Jess03 Well, since they said please...
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@RhiRavenRose That's why I use mine to balance hot pans since they don't feel pain
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
11 months
My tamales came out beautifully. Three years of working on taking over this traditional part of the holidays and it's gotten better every year.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
4 years
@NikkiMcR "You don't have to be trans, you can just be a feminine man!" "Hm, okay, I'll do that actually." "How DARE you?!"
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@hrkahrig I love when people try to biblically prove a thing is bad with a verse that just says "don't be bad." A+ logic all around.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
10 months
@masonmennenga Lots of christians are just celibate slave owners.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@TragicPenName @KevinMKruse @1DOPEKEV @TwitterMoments No, it's a comment on your gullibility and our desire to believe anything that confirms stuff we want to think, and that you are not immune to propaganda.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@umeprobdupree That's Lord Beast to you
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
8 months
@gaydotgov it should last until first short rest
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@TNOQuoProQuid who wants to [unintelligible] with me?
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@Delafina777 I showed you my cross please respond
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@RevDaniel And the big intellectual game she talks while she's checking out, like, Jack and the Beanstalk
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@AlliRaine22 Dang from the screenshot I thought it was slightly more mild in that it required clothing removal or money in underwear but that was an inclusive list of things "erotic performance" includes, so yeah "looks queer and sings" is the same category as "simulating a sex act"
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
3 months
@kevsaucebro Beshear is my favorite. Doesn't cut a term too short, gives his Lt. a chance to show up, and my grandma likes him and never voted for a left-of-center candidate in her life. Also Beshear vs Vance as a debate would be the best possible revenge for Hillbilly Elegy.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
5 months
I knew the Butker speech was disgusting based on the conversations happening around it but I hadn't listened to it and nobody mentioned that he used the phrase "degenerate cultural values." That is, uh.... real bad. Like real real bad.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 years
@drmistercody @elonmusk @kanyewest "We're supposed to keep saying Globalists for one more year, were you even listening at the meeting?"
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 months
@tpwrtrmnky Non-primary is sending me. This analogy has infinite juice.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
4 months
@rose_rsj I saw advice about wearing bow ties that said "You have to have more personality than the tie" and I think it describes the phenomenon well.
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@JynAndTheGinger When we got out of Dungeons and Dragons, my wife said "I love that the fights take place in the day time and I can tell what's happening"
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@QueenMab87 "I'm setting puppies on fire to stop hunger" "You should... not do that." "Well how would YOU stop hunger?!"
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
2 months
@JosephRReagan I kind of legit want a print of this
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@SkipSandwich
Tortured Actuaries Department
1 year
@AdamBlumenau Real "no see she eats via photosynthesis so she has to wear a bikini, it's in the lore" energy
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