Dan Schreiber
@Schreiberland
Followers
68,560
Following
473
Media
1,492
Statuses
20,338
Podcaster: No Such Thing As A Fish / We Can Be Weirdos / The Cryptid Factor; Co-creator of BBC's Museum of Curiosity. Author of The Theory of Everything Else.
Hong Kongian Aussie Londoner
Joined May 2009
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
#BizimÇocuklar
• 326351 Tweets
Mert
• 239139 Tweets
Colômbia
• 203594 Tweets
Avusturya
• 199382 Tweets
Merih
• 192929 Tweets
Austria
• 137463 Tweets
Kamala
• 132998 Tweets
Harris
• 131671 Tweets
#AUTvTUR
• 128149 Tweets
تركيا
• 123757 Tweets
Xbox
• 115540 Tweets
Netherlands
• 98340 Tweets
Arda Güler
• 95471 Tweets
Ferdi
• 64088 Tweets
Kenan
• 56498 Tweets
Hollanda
• 50091 Tweets
NE MUTLU TÜRKÜM DİYENE
• 48325 Tweets
Bozkurt
• 45590 Tweets
新紙幣発行
• 36608 Tweets
Barış Alper
• 33899 Tweets
#Turkey
• 30509 Tweets
هولندا
• 28598 Tweets
Kerem
• 28270 Tweets
Viyana
• 28089 Tweets
Kaan
• 27785 Tweets
Montella
• 27443 Tweets
渋沢栄一
• 26787 Tweets
タイムテーブル
• 24980 Tweets
ÇEYREK FİNALDEYİZ
• 22852 Tweets
チェンソーマン
• 22387 Tweets
#Türkiye
• 20240 Tweets
BİR BAŞKADIR BENİM MEMLEKETİM
• 17684 Tweets
CIRCO RODAS FURIOSO
• 17008 Tweets
Lauri
• 14692 Tweets
Marko
• 13351 Tweets
Roger Waters
• 12764 Tweets
Orkun
• 12548 Tweets
ソフトクリームの日
• 11209 Tweets
週の真ん中
• 10708 Tweets
TIAGO PZK
• 10641 Tweets
Interesting bedtime chat with my 3 year old tonight: “daddy, I had a family a long time ago & my mummy was called Sochi & I was called Anke but then I died & now I’m with your family,” Anyway, if anyone needs me, I’ll be up cleaning the pants I just shat for the rest of the night
2K
9K
88K
WARNING: Do not use that Faceapp age filter thing on your 22-month-old baby
246
777
9K
Probably only got a few more years before my son Wilf finds everything I do mortifyingly embarrassing. Until then...
94
249
5K
My son is two-years-old today. We took him to a bookshop and told him he could pick a book for his birthday. There were Paw Patrol colouring books, Disney books, Peppa Pig books... all the things he loves. This is what he chose.
146
436
5K
My son Wilf (6) says I can only have this drawing if I make it famous. He says 100 likes will do it. Help please, I really want it.
26
82
4K
My wife and I have just made a very important and exciting lockdown decision. Tonight, we are going to get absolutely shitfaced.
39
17
2K
Nine years ago today, we put the pilot ep of a podcast online for our bosses to hear because they didn’t yet know how to use WeTransfer. A few people found it & said 'look forward to next week’s ep'. CUT TO: 468 eps, 4 tours, 3 books, a BBC2 TV series & 1 vinyl record later...
33
48
1K
Man I hate it when ghostwriters break their NDAs by piping up and revealing it was actually them who wrote the book. My lawyers will be in touch
@rhysiedarby
12
82
1K
Thing I’m most looking forward to in 2020... meeting this little guy
39
1
1K
No Such Thing As A Fish turns seven-years-old today. In that time we've released 363 episodes with over 21,000 facts (we know cause we have a spreadsheet), released three books, toured the globe & made a TV series. Thanks to all who have made this possible by continuing to listen
33
27
1K
Last year I sent a copy of my book to one of my heroes, Bill Bryson, along with a postcard. I only found out today that he wrote back to me… 8 months ago. Here’s the letter (and postcard)
This is going straight to the pool room.
17
16
977
Me: Wilf, any idea who wrote this W on our sofa in permanent marker?
Wilf (who is currently learning to write his own name and has been working specifically on the letter W): No idea.
60
15
958
My three-year-old is incredible at hide and seek. I promise he’s actually in this photo.
20
12
945
One year ago today. Still makes me shudder.
WARNING: Do not use that Faceapp age filter thing on your 22-month-old baby
246
777
9K
17
33
928
I love the UK blue plaques. Every city should have them. Check out this badass.
9
110
866
Got my son this original Peter Sellers drawing for his 1st birthday, originally published in the book Milligan’s Ark.
Lot of debate happening in the Schreiber household tonight about who this present is really for.
25
13
850
Do yourself a favour - make
@alexbell
your kid’s godfather. The guy delivers magic moments.
12
9
831
Had to take a photo. The No Such Thing As A Fish recording table is looking HOT AS in this lighting and you all need to see it,
23
10
804
@qikipedia
Fav Presley karate fact: There's a stone marker in Wisconsin that commemorates the spot where Presley, after spotting some guys fighting in the street, jumped out of a limo, pulled some karate moves & threatened to kick ass. They were so excited to see him they stopped fighting.
10
110
720
Spending the evening putting together my son’s first ever library, in his first ever room. He’s 15 weeks old and has a shit hot collection so far.
61
16
724
👉
@rhysiedarby
, 50... Imagine That! Thanks for the near two decades of adventures bud. From the Thunderbirds to the Giant Rocks to the discovery of Nessie. Love you mate, Dan (author of You Heard It Here Third: The Wisdom of Rhys Darby)
19
140
730
Nice little nugget of wisdom from
@EricIdle
: “Writing is like fishing: You have to go to the river every morning, or you won’t catch anything. You can’t predict what sort of fish you’ll catch, but if you’re not *there* you’ll get nothing.”
12
123
614
Hang on. Hang the fuck on. John Finnemore is writing the second series of Good Omens with
@neilhimself
!!! Holy moly this is going to be a glorious partnership.
Thank you very much to the Good Omens fandom for making me feel so welcome aboard today. Heaven (and hell) knows I’m no Terry Pratchett; but I’ll do my very best. And luckily
@neilhimself
is one hell (and heaven) of a Neil Gaiman.
168
211
3K
10
32
596
That’s it, that’s all of our facts... the Aus/NZ tour is done. Perth, Melb, Syd, Bris Vegas, Auckland and, finally, Wellington. Thanks to all the 8,000+ dorks who came out to play with us. May the anus lightning of the Mongolian Death Worm bless you all.
29
14
592
Explained to my son this morning that, now he’s a big boy, we’re going to stop giving him his dummy.
His response: panic stockpiling.
19
10
593
Today we release the 300th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish. 300th! Thank you to everyone who has stuck with us for all these years. Here’s to another 300. 👍
18
16
578
Calling all Ted Lasso fans: joining us this week on Fish is fellow nerd, the mighty
@phildunster
Listen to us all dorking out here:
3
24
584
Emotional because he wanted it to end three years ago. Tough shit, Lightning, you're with us for life.
Cats it’s been FIVE YEARS TO THE DAY since the first ever No Such Thing As A Fish went out and I frankly feel a bit emotional about the whole thing. Five years! Thank you all for listening, if you do.
26
23
881
8
12
576
My friend Andrew and I are telling each other our favourite jokes, and our memories are failing us (we’ve run out after just 3 jokes) We can’t remember any more. Anyone know a good joke?
229
24
574
So sad about Sean Lock. I’d like to say he was a comic genius, but it would go against a brilliant line he said on Museum of Curiosity about the Ed Fringe & seeing ‘genius’ on so many posters, we must be living in the greatest period of human intelligence. He was one though.
1
7
568
Seven-years-ago: The time OK Cupid
tried to ruin my chances of ever getting a date on its site.
13
2
573
Rushing home from a weekend-away for tonight’s game, and everywhere I look, I see victory for England
4
47
557
Morning. Here's my uncle's view today, from his home in Australia
54
51
539
Just had some lovely post-show drinks in Manchester with Tintin.
15
1
544
I’ve seen a lot of incredible things while touring the UK with Fish, but paying only £11 for two double rum and cokes, and a pint of beer, at a local pub in Chesterfield, has BLOWN MY MIND.
26
4
531
Had my question answered by a fairly reliable Monty Python buff, I reckon.
12
11
518
Last night was wild.
@rhysiedarby
& I crashed* the Indiana Jones premiere after-party and got to hang out with a Python for close to an hour (I largely asked him about encounters with Francis Bacon’s ghost).
*were invited to
12
16
500
35 facts. With 35 guests. Talking For 35 Minutes each. To celebrate 35 years of Comic Relief.
Featuring: Michael Palin, Stephen Fry, Eddie Izzard, Maggie Aderin-Pocock, Richard Osman, Sue Perkins, Gemma Whelan, Alice Roberts, Tim Minchin, My Dad Wrote A Porno, and more...
The Elves' podcast No Such Thing As A Fish is teaming up with
@comicrelief
to livestream a TWENTY HOUR podcast on March 12th and 13th, with a few friends joining us along the way.
@nosuchthing
👇
8
35
355
15
50
496
How’s this for nerd credentials: the first-ever ticket sold to the first-ever official comic book convention was to a 16-year-old George R R Martin.
7
28
484
*Quick tweet for Fish listeners*
To all in isolation who have messaged us asking for more Fish episodes, we hope this does the trick.
52 old eps have just been re-uploaded to our feed. That’s over 30 hours of dorkery you may or may not have heard before.
Stay safe team. X
🚨CARE PACKAGE INCOMING🚨
Check your podcast provider for the latest emergency supplies.
39
47
463
19
33
473
The geatest voice ever created for an animated cartoon character is Winnie the Poo.
Discuss.
71
9
473
My wife just did something incredible: As she flushed our toilet, the flush broke off, fell into the toilet, & got flushed away.
32
60
464
Two-years-ago today
@fenellabates1
and I took our newborn son home from the hospital. Took me forever to strap him into the car seat. As you can see in the picture, he was not impressed.
4
11
457
Introducing my son to his future face via a Groucho party mask
6
4
453
Dammit. Another breakfast ruined. Overcooked the scissors again.
32
26
441
Pretty nuts to see that despite being nearly a decade old, we’re still one of the top 10 most listened-to podcasts in the UK (according to a new chart called Edison) 👇
19
4
449
Absolutely devastated that Fish has lost a listener in…
*checks name*
…Harvey Butthole
24
7
446
Hey all, I'm very excited to say that my book 'The Theory of Everything Else' will be out this October. It's a book that looks into all the interesting/funny/mind-boggling ideas and theories that people have proposed to explain some of the mysteries of life. THREAD 👇
22
16
426
Wilf just went to the supermarket to buy a copy of uncle Andy’s novel. You should do the same. Out now in paperback.
Warning:
@andrewhunterm
’s book is in no way suitable for children Wilf’s age.
13
2
410
Richard Osman
12
1
413
Just randomly bumped into an old friend. Feeling Blessed.
16
2
412
I’ve watched this clip about 100 times today. It’s perfect.
6
39
399
Gathered around the mics with our four favourite facts
10
23
401
My little boy is 1 today. He’s doing great. His parents, on the other hand, are still struggling with basic things. Like how to put on his trousers correctly.
12
0
385
4 years old today! Thanks to all who continue to listen to us every week. Here's the episode that started it all:
#NoSuchThingAsAFish
12
16
378
What a rollercoaster ride of a review for my book...
20
7
380
#175
of Fish in the bag. This week we had a rule that if someone said something wrong they had to take one step away from the microphone
21
20
374
My fact this week: The 10th Correspondence Chess Olympiad, done entirely by post, took so long to complete that the winners of both gold and bronze represented countries that no longer existed.
Our latest episode, No Such Thing As The Shark Tooth Fairy, is available to download now!
7
6
56
12
51
374
I don’t think things get more British than receiving a text from a chimney sweep.
10
9
375
Wilf watched his first ever Football match today and is now hooked. I’ve always loved Football, but don’t have a team. What do we do? How do you pick a team? Who should we go for?
125
4
364
Walked past the side entrance of Buckingham Palace. Her Majesty is absolutely smashing that Amazon Prime account.
7
20
361
WHAT!?
I will never fully process the fact that Cher made a version of West Side Story where she plays all the roles and then somehow got it on television
968
9K
51K
12
45
363
In 2013, I interviewed these three heroes on stage in Edinburgh. Sadly, just five years later, they’ve all slipped into obscurity. I often look at this picture and wonder what happened to them all.
14
6
357
IT'S PUBLICATION DAY! The Theory of Everything Else is out now. Please help me and my batshit book out by picking up a copy today.
43
35
351
I’m so excited that my two boys are going to grow up with a hero like
@MarcusRashford
in their lives. You can literally feel the tremors of his ideas, thoughts and actions influencing the kids of this country right now. Exciting times.
4
21
350
Got some news: I’m writing a book!‘The Theory of Everything Else’ will be out next year. It’ll be packed with ideas and speculations, from the stunning to the absolute batshit. Thanks
@mudlarkbooks
@HarperCollins
for letting me write it.
14
6
341
To all professionals in the film, television, theatre, entertainment and arts world, join the challenge to post a picture of you in your job. Just a picture, no description. The goal is to flood social media with our profession.
Copy the text and post a pic.
#SaveTheArts
11
14
341
Next Sunday, at 1pm, my
#ShowUsYourShit
show will star an item that, in 1979, sparked a global treasure hunt: The Masquarade Hare. It’s been in hiding since 1988 (resurfacing briefly in 2012), but I’ve tracked down the owner, and they’ve agreed to show it live on the show.
33
65
332
Now on display in the Schreiber household: a signed print of Kurt Vonnegut’s asshole, by Kurt Vonnegut. (have put it in the bathroom, obvs)
22
9
336
Ouch. We got married in January last year.
Deliriously excited -
@Schreiberland
and I just bought tickets to see Ben Howard at Brixton Academy in January. I think it's the first time I've ever looked forward to January in my entire life...
0
0
8
6
7
327
My wife, son and I are very excited and proud to announce the arrival of the newest member of our little family. Everyone say hi to our signed Robin Williams comedy album.
8
1
318
