1/9 📢📢 Excited to announce the launch of my new book, "Parental Alienation: A Contemporary Guide for Parents, Practitioners, and Policymakers". 📢📢
Read more about why I wrote the book here:
And get your copy here:
I find Caitlin Moran’s position on men’s issues, encapsulated in her new book, regressive and patronising. There would be uproar if a male author released a book about what’s gone ‘wrong’ with women. And no engagement with the men’s sector at all it would appear. Grrr.
It is ATROCIOUS that on
#InternationalMensDay
the governmentally funded
@RespectUK
would tweet about men as perpetrators and not about men as victims, especially when they (supposedly) run a nationally funded advice helpline for victims. Shocking.
🧵 Why We Need International Men's Day 🧵
Today, on International Men's Day, it's vital to talk about why this day is essential. Men and boys face specific challenges and issues often overlooked in societal discourse. Let's dive into these issues.
#InternationalMensDay2023
Coming at the end of June!! I have poured blood, sweat, and bucket loads of empirical evidence into this book - I hope it proves useful!
DM me if you want to be on the notification list for when it’s available!!
#ParentalAlienation
#DefinitiveGuide
Also, this advert is quite specific about the at behaviours it targets: such as sexual harassment, bullying and physical violence
If you view any of those things as ‘OK’ or just ‘part of being a man’ then again, see my previous comment about being part of the problem!
#Gillette
Literally 0% of the conversation should be about Arianna Grande. What she wore, what she did/should have done. Nothing. Nada.
Literally 100% of the conversation should be about Bishop Charles Ellis III and his insanely inappropriate behaviour
#RespectAriana
I don’t care what you think about Ariana Grande, her music or her dress. This is wrong. That bishop’s hand should not be on her breast: I just saw this because I’ve been working and not watching
Today I am working to bring together the final report for my Fathers and Family Breakdown Project
It is heartbreaking - but fathers, I've got you.
Words of encouragement needed to get this done please!!
I have spoken with hundreds of people who have experienced
#parentalalienation
.
I am a child survivor myself.
I have written an extensive, empirically supported book on it.
And there is a wealth of evidence on its existence.
To see it routinely rubbished is an insult.
This is such a blatant, gross and wilful misinterpretation of my tweets. I very clearly state that children benefit and have a right to SAFE parents. No one would ever interpret that to cover convicted abusers and rapists. Jeez.
If you believe that one parent can manipulate their child against the other parent, and sabotage that relationship, then you believe in parental alienation. It’s a specific form of abusive behaviour, which deserves its own label.
The Fathers and Family Breakdown, Separation, and Divorce (FBSD) report is complete. I am elated and exhausted, and I can't wait to share in the New Year. For now, here are the final three lines.
Finding it hard at the moment. My PA book is finished, but the space is so toxic. Just desperate to find solutions for everyone involved. And to work productively and collaboratively based on the evidence. Day in and day out, lives ruined. We must do more, but it’s just so toxic.
🌟 Thread: Parental Alienation Awareness Day - April 25th 🌟
1/ Today, on
#ParentalAlienationAwarenessDay
, let's talk about the devastating impact of parental alienation on children and families, and why it's crucial to raise awareness and foster understanding.
Last week, I spoke about my
#LostDads
project - which explored the experiences of fathers after separation and divorce. The results are shocking - watch and read here
I see we have another new term circulating to replace parental alienation - one which is not only blatantly inadequate and inaccurate but also sexist and not empirically informed. Yet again we are not focusing on actually solving the problem, and protecting children from abuse.
Merry Christmas one and all!
At this time of year I think of all of the fathers who cannot see their children - I hold you in my heart and May 2023 be the year of change. I’ve got you.
No woman should have to choose between their safety and homelessness.
I’m investing £50 million to provide affordable housing for women and children fleeing domestic violence.
It’s time the government stepped up and permanently funded these schemes.
Parental Alienation can no longer be classified as a pseudoscientific ‘concept’ with no empirical support. A robust evidence base has rapidly emerged that now supports the existence and impact of this specific form of abuse.
For a long time, the same misinformation has been peddled that 'if male victims of DV exist, it's still about male violence, as the majority of perpetrators are male'. This is demonstrably FALSE, and now the CPS is up to date thanks to the great work by
@ManKindInit
and others.
@MartinDaubney
@BBCPolitics
You know full well that this forms part of a narrative seeking to undermine the judiciary - and it's an extremely dangerous one. Whether those particular judges voted Leave or Remain, their job is to give an unbiased interpretation of the law, and we must trust they have done so
I am deeply disappointed with the UN report on custody and violence against women. It is, in my opinion, hugely misinformed and lacks a huge body of recent evidence on parental alienation specifically. Would happily speak with
@UNSRVAW
on this issue.
The next time someone says that alienating behaviours aren't a common problem - please refer them to our report showing that between 40 and 60% of separating parents report experiencing some form of this abuse!
#ParentalAlienation
I think that, to post this on Father’s Day, is completely out of order from Refuge. It’s a day to celebrate the good in fathers, not further an agenda of casting all fathers/men as abusers. Pretty tone deaf in my opinion.
We all know amazing dads, but sadly for children living with an abuser
#FathersDay
will be another day living in fear. Read our poem, created by
@McCannBristol
top to bottom, and then in reverse. If you’re scared of your partner
#YouAreNotAlone
:
(1/9) Thread
Lost Dads: Understanding Fathers, Family Breakdown, Abuse, and Suicide
Join us for an eye-opening lecture, shedding light on the distressing statistics of fathers in the UK post-separation.
#LostDadsLecture
It is a slap in the face to survivors for the government and several notable individuals in positions of huge influence and power to blanketly deny their experiences. Alienating behaviours are real, and we need to work fast to address them in a productive way.
#ParentalAlienation
Riddle
If you have a small qualitative study of 44 mothers saying they’ve been abused in the family court system by fathers
And I have a small qualitative study of 130 fathers saying they’ve been abused in the family court system and by mothers
What’s the conclusion? 🤔
For
#ParentalAlienationAwarenessDay
please read my latest research that shows that between 40 and 60% of separated parents in the UK experience alienating behaviours during separation and divorce - it's a public health emergency and we HAVE the evidence!
I once again find myself at a complete loss as to the rife discourse happening at the moment, including in Parliament, that seeks to completely invalidate the experiences of alienated parents and children, including myself. These debates aren’t evidence led!!
It sometimes feels like the sand is running through our fingers as more & more people attack, vilify and mislead on
#parentalalienation
.
But the more we fight and miseducate - the more children are damaged.
PA is real, it is dangerous (and yes misused) - and education is key.
For adult survivors of parental alienation as children, such as myself, current dialogue on PA as pseudoscience, not valid, not a real lived experience is incredibly upsetting and disheartening. We are not only exposing new children to risk, but also re-traumatising these adults
I have been able to have some detailed and frankly harrowing conversations with men made homeless as result of domestic violence and abuse - but I need a few more!
Please do get in contact if you meet the criteria below! And remember homeless doesn't just mean sleeping rough!
📢📢 BIG ANNOUNCEMENT 📢📢
1/📘 I am thrilled to announce that I've signed a contract with
@routledgebooks
for my upcoming book titled "Current Issues Facing Men and Boys" - set to release late 2024! 🎉
The evidence only grows. I do not understand how anyone can legitimately present arguments that PA is a pseudoscience. Let’s move on and get legitimate claims correctly identified and effectively processed
Liz’s research on the experiences of men in violent relationships is nothing short of world leading. The fact that she hasn’t been called is a travesty, and shows just how broken the thinking in IPV policy is. Shocking.
I am disappointed not to have been called to be a witness at the draft Domestic Abuse Bill joint committee (neither have
@ManKindInit
) - there are no witnesses specifically representing male victims which is shocking and totally unacceptable
1/ 🧵 This week is
#MensMentalHealthWeek
, and we're spotlighting the mental health struggles of fathers post-family breakdown, separation, or divorce. These challenges often go unvoiced, exacerbating an already vast, silent public health crisis.
I want to work with anyone and everyone over the next decade to improve how we deal with family breakdown in the UK, and to do so in a way that is gender inclusive and productive. If we are not connected yet - get in touch now!
So much of family separation is about mental health, trauma, and relational distress - and yet, we try and deal with it with legal systems? They’re not adequate or appropriate in most cases and certainly can’t deal with complicated nature of cases.
It is quite alarming to me that so many academics and professionals feel comfortable blanketly denying a robustly empirically supported phenomenon. Alienating behaviours exist, and are well documented. We should be working together on how they are brought and managed in court.
The facts support the existence of a genuine form of abuse in Parental Alienation. It is now essential to determine how claims of PA are brought in court and how they can be assessed quickly and effectively to protect children and parents. Head in sand approach will not work.
1/9 🧵There's a growing dialogue around father involvement in the lives of their children. This is not, contrary to some views, an attempt to uphold some sort of patriarchal, nuclear family model. It's about a broader understanding of the roles parents play in child development.
Amazing to me that conferences still run sessions saying ‘challenging parental alienation’ rather than ‘understanding parental alienation’. It’s just sad and also against the evidence. No doubt there are issues with court, so why can’t we work together to solve it?
It is possible for these two opinions to coexist (I hold both):
1. Parental alienation is a very real form of coercive control and abuse
2. Parental alienation is currently widely misunderstood and misused in family court proceedings
Why don't people get that?
As day 1 of the
@male_bps
conference 2023 comes to an end, read my thoughts here on what appears to be our biggest challenge - overcoming societal blindness to issues affecting boys
#malepsychconf23
I am fundamentally changing the way I use this platform (see below) - thank you in advance for your support with this.
Please look out over the next few weeks as I share the work I have done so far, and what is coming up over the next year or so.
New Research Alert 🚨! We're exploring a critical issue: Homelessness among men due to domestic violence and abuse (DVA). If you've experienced homelessness in the UK in the last 10 years and it's related to DVA, we need to hear your story.
#HomelessnessAwareness
#DVASupport
When I was 12 I saw Billy Elliot. I became obsessed with doing ballet.
But it’s damaging stereotypes like these which meant I was denied the opportunity to go to classes by my parents.
I’m still not over it! So, let’s not fuck up more boys eh?
#Boys4Ballet
#PrinceGeorge
If there are any professional bodies who are genuinely open to understanding and learning how
#ParentalAlienation
is absolutely real and has a huge wealth of evidence behind it then PLEASE reach out for a talk or training. Tag them below!
I am finding it interesting how I become so paranoid about my work and it's value/necessity when I see certain voices speaking negatively about fathers involvement...
But then when I speak to most ordinary people, they are absolutely supportive and understand it's necessity...🤔
Flying to Colorado today for the Parental Alienation Study Group Annual Conference. Incredibly excited to connect with other leaders in this field and generate ideas for advancing evidence base in this area!
I am delighted to have been able to donate £100 to both
@MothersMatch
and
@Dadsunltd
from my book proceeds to help them continue to support both mothers and fathers who are experiencing abuse, mental health difficulties, and contact issues following family breakdown
One of the most powerful parts of the PASG conference was the family panel, of which I was chair as a survivor/researcher. No one could be in that room, hearing from survivors directly, and then argue that
#parentalalienation
doesn’t exist. No one.
Signing off for Christmas period to try and regroup and reflect. Thinking of all parents affected by alienation and court over this time and hoping for big strides in 2024!
Spent most of today reading powerful & heart-wrenching testimony from alienated fathers who took part in
@DrLizBates
and I's study on PA. Many of the stories are devasting. Some serious self care required this evening, but looking forward to getting these narratives out there.
I have never once seen anyone question academics who are openly both survivors and researchers of domestic violence if they are too bias to do their research effectively…
But I get asked all the time when I share Parental Alienation work (which FYI is DV).
Strange eh?
Forgive me if I won’t be celebrating “international men’s day”. Seriously, what more rights do men need in a world literally run by them. Everyday is a celebration of male entitlement under patriarchy.
Such a pleasure to speak with Shay Grewal on
@BBCRadioLondon
yesterday about the high risk of suicide for separated fathers.
You can listen using the link below - from 2:22.
Why it is appropriate to stick with the term
#ParentalAlienation
- A thread 🧵
1/
#ParentalAlienation
is a rooted in Latin and it describes a situation where a child becomes estranged from one parent through negative influence, typically by the other parent.
This is a landmark case for British Legal History, not only in the general area of rape and serious sexual assault, but specifically that perpetrated towards male victims - Man jailed for life for raping dozens of men in Manchester
I have many academic interests.
Yes, I am proud to investigate/advocate on issues which concern men and boys - they are the other half of the population after all!
But I am also a committed scholar on gender and crime more broadly, including VAWG. If needed, evidence below...
Thank you
@ProfHine
@MyCafcass
and Jay Kontzle sharing your experiences as grandchildren who were prevented or forced to stop seeing their safe and loving grandparents
#grandchildren
Why this recommendation - the creation of an ‘Ending Violence Against Men and Boys Strategy -
#VAMB
’ - is long overdue, and absolutely necessary: A Thread
@MBCoalition
VC wants to see the introduction of an ‘Ending Intimate Violence Against Men and Boys’ strategy in recognition that male victims need support too. What do you think?
#domesticabuse
#VAWG
@ManKindInit
1/7 📣 Fresh off the
#PASG
conference in Colorado! Some key conclusions about
#ParentalAlienation
(PA) which are too critical not to share. Get ready for a deep dive into the latest understanding of PA. 🧵👇
We are pushing vulnerable, traumatised, hurting individuals into a system that seeks to draw out their worst qualities, and profit from their pain and misery. Couples splitting and their children need empathy, support, and compassion, from a trauma-informed perspective.
I’m sorry but this is fundamentally immoral.
To have a gendered definition of domestic violence enshrined in law effectively formalises inequality between victim groups.
No victim/survivor should feel that their experiences are somehow “second class“, including male victims.
I have just had a very reassuring and productive conversation with
@CommissionerDA
about the approach we should be taking to allegations of domestic violence and/or parental alienation in family courts. Greater understanding and quicker processes are clearly the solution.
Thrilled to be recording a
@TEDx
talk today for
#TedxUniversityofWestLondon
titled ‘Family Breakdown, Abuse, & Suicide: Why we need a new model for separation in England and Wales’
1/7 There’s a lot of discussion at the moment about parental involvement after separation - so let's talk about the importance of keeping safe loving parents involved. There's a body of research that shows the immense benefits it offers to children. A thread 🧵👇
Have been working on analysing the first ever data on adults experiences of alienating behaviours in childhood today - some very important and interesting findings imminent!!
Mine,
@DrLizBates
and
@SarahLeeWallace
's paper exploring the experiences of call-handlers on a male domestic abuse helpline is now 🥳Open Access🥳 - follow the link below to download your copy!
Just to be clear. I have absolutely no issue with gendered frameworks being created. Gender is a critical aspect of our lives.
I DO have a problem when gendered frameworks are created for issues that are not gendered in nature, and which actually erase critical gendered nuance.
1/10 🎉 Happy
#FathersDay2023
! Today, we're not only celebrating the unique contributions of dads but also challenging the stereotypes that often limit their role. Because fathers, like mothers, are fundamental cornerstones in a child's life
#FathersDay
Do I care about father’s experiences of separation and the court system? You’re damn right! Do I care about mothers experiences and opportunities for abuse? You’re damn right! As the child of a high conflict divorce - I’m here to help parents and children after family breakdown.
VERY PROUD supervisor moment! Not least because this thesis explores men’s experiences of abuse and why we might not help if we see it. Congrats Dr Jayes
@Kealey_Psych
1/12/2023 Dr Kealey Jayes 📚
I am beyond thrilled to share that I am now FINALLY Dr Kealey Jayes. 4 years, 110,339 words and 347 pages later. I want to thank my supervisors, family and friends for their support throughout this journey. ❤️ Love you all. Now I need a drink 🍷☺️
So:
Some men show some of these masc behaviours some of the time
A lot of men perform lots of these behaviours lots of the time
So, if you view this and think ‘I’m not like that’ - Great. Keep it up.
If you view this and call bull shit, I garauntee you are part of the problem
Interesting how people attack my motivation on posting about PA just because I’ve written a book on it (from which I make donations to charity)
And yet they have no qualms with others who’ve written books on coercive control etc posting about that
Once again, the answer to the potential misuses of parental alienation in family court is more education on the topic and how to correctly identify it, not to claim it doesn’t exist - and therefore put children at risk.
This position is not in line with growing academic literature on PA, especially that examining the experiences of alienated parents and children. Ignoring a problem rarely makes it go away. To tackle any misuse in court we need to understand and examine PA more not less!
Parental alienation is not domestic abuse, despite abusers best efforts to define it as such. It doesn’t appear in the statutory guidance on domestic abuse and the UN today condemned PA as a tactic used to undermine abuse claims. We agree with the UN: It should be banned.
I want to acknowledge
@DrLizBates
who has absolutely led the way in the UK research community exploring the experiences of male victims of domestic violence and abuse. A genuine gender equality hero!
For day nine of
#BetterSocialMedia
, we’re sharing inspiring stories about people and organisations who are winning the fight for gender equality.
Quote tweet this tweet and share your stories about people who inspire you
#BetterSocialMedia
Very Exciting news! As Guest Editor - I am inviting researchers to submit to a special issue of Social Sciences focusing on "Fathers' Experiences of Family Breakdown." More info here:
@BBCPolitics
@MartinDaubney
Martin. Come on. I thought you were above questioning the impartiality of judges. I might disagree with you on lots of things but can most of the fine see where you’re coming from - this is too far.
This is an open call to DM me with all and any organisations that are doing great work with or for men and boys so I can include them in my new book! Anything and everything welcome!!
So delighted to have been a part of
#TedxUniversityofWestLondon
today sharing my thoughts on how we can separate more amicably when children are involved
@TEDx
Just to be clear - parental alienation commonly occurs following family breakdown/separation between parents, but is not exclusive to this context or these actors (other family members and professionals in a variety of situations can alienate). Important we remember (inc myself!)
📢I've seen a few worryingly one-sided tweets this morning about how
#parentalalienation
claims are brought in family court cases - so I thought I'd write a blog about the actual story the evidence tells📢-
Just a reminder that my book - "Parental Alienation: A Contemporary Guide for Parents, Practitioners, and Policymakers' is out now and available on Amazon
One reviewer said - "Simple, digestible, succinct, powerful, reassuring" ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Get yours now!