I could be anyone🐾🟧
@Maggie_Nickson
Followers
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Following
8,999
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24,214
Statuses
196,874
Animal lover/skeptic/realist/minimalist/nullifidian. Believing doesn't make it true. I might be a nihilist. Memento Mori.
The pale blue dot
Joined September 2012
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Pinned Tweet
"All religions are superstitious nonsense except, of course, yours."
Windsor Horne Lockwood lll
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Tomorrow, I'm going to the bank to pay off my mortgage. 20 years, 4 months, all me. I could do it online, but I actually want to go and sit down with someone because it feels like a really big fuckin' deal to me.
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"Why don't more bad things happen to terrible people?"
Stephen Colbert
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I once had a friend who actually said to me "How can you be so moral when you don't believe in God?" 🤷♀️ Religion is so weird.
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@yikeseth_
@SoloChills
Our students are not required to turn on their cameras. The ones who have are mostly in their pajamas, sitting in their beds. Who cares, as long as they are doing their work?
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Here is Betty White. And here is the shoe that I would like to put on. As probably any dog owner would do, I am going to go find a different pair of shoes 😅😅🙄
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OMFG... This is a former high school classmate of mine. I am not on FB. My friend shared with me so that we could laugh and roll our eyes.
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@marliessmits64
@saragnosis
Marlies, I don't think I've seen you here before, but your tweet caught my eye. As someone who also has an exit plan for when my time comes, I applaud you. I hope you have had a good life. Good for you for leaving on your own terms.🫂💙💙💙
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@Chubabubba
You could give an awfully good life to a senior pet. They so desperately need love and are generally so easy to care for. I've taken in 5 senior dogs. EVERY one was the very bestest dog. 🥰 This is KC. She's the latest. She's 15.
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Do you leap out of bed in the morning or just lie there and cry?
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If your avi isn't you, are you willing to share the real you? I really, really, really dislike pictures of myself, but I'm curious who everyone is?
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@Maureenheartyyc
@Parkerlawyer
💯
This gets easier as one gets older, too, and one has no fucks left to give. I have no problem saying "Separate checks, please." I know not all places will do that, though, so I just make sure I'm only paying my part.
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What is something you believe in for which there is no scientific evidence?
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“The only successful trickle-down the Republicans have ever been able to achieve is the trickle-down of their hate.”
— andrea chalupa, gaslit nation
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Betty White is the most passive pupper I have ever had. I took her in for a dental at 8a and the vet called at 9a and said "She's done and I didn't need to use anesthesia. Betty White let me clean her teeth." 😮🥰
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@alongcameTrisha
The replies here are killin' me! I have a king bed and because I wear pajamas, I sleep two weeks on one side and then two weeks on the other side. It keeps the wear on the mattress even. So, my sheets get washed every 4 weeks
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@snarkylicious
@blktinabelcher
And the older one gets, the fewer fucks one has left to give 😃
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Hold up everyone! This is been identified as fake news by
@GGMM_2020
. Photoshopped picture. I'm not going to delete it because there been so many fun responses. This guy is still an asshole, though.
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I'm kinda having a sad night. My vet called today to let me know my dog has a malignant melanoma on his tongue. My dog is a very good boy and my world will not be quite as bright without him😢
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Betty White was having an afternoon snoozle and I woke her up 😕
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I'm staying with a friend for a couple weeks and things have been going swimmingly. I've just discovered that she only has Miracle Whip in her refrigerator and no mayo and now I have to go home.
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@AZScorpion_Tail
I recently replaced both of my toilets myself, with the help of my 90-year-old dad. I actually gave myself a pat on the back for that.😃 And then I replaced three ceiling light fixtures with just dad's supervision.
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@RetroCrone
I've heard they are wonderful, but I don't have personal experience with one. I sleep very hot, so I almost always sleep with just a sheet over me.
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@SusannaLHarris
Students in my district are not required to turn on their cameras, nor are we teachers allowed to ask them to do that.
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"Last month, new data from the Reuters Institute showed that the United States has one of the highest news-avoidance rates in the world. About 4 out of 10 Americans sometimes or often avoid contact with the news — a higher rate than at least 30 other countries."
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@WmDeanFrench
100% agree with this. I have taken in five senior dogs that people chose not to keep. Every single one of them was the best dog ever. Betty White is number four. Number five is still with me, as well.
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Over the weekend, somebody referred to Moms for Liberty as Klanned Karenhood and I haven't yet heard a more apt description😂😂
Activists in 37 states have challenged school districts for offering non-fiction and fiction books that discuss race and racism, slavery, sex and gender identity. Martha Teichner talks with Tiffany Justice and Tina Descovich, founders of Moms for Liberty.
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I'm still not over Newsmax going after Champ Biden. A senior dog. A DOG. A VERY GOOD BOY. Who does that?
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@JackPosobiec
@GETTRofficial
"VAERS" and "statistics" do not belong in the same sentence unless it reads "VAERS 'statistics' aren't statistics."
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@rayofliteindark
@BendairDundatt
I have an exit plan if something like this happens to me. I want every state to have a Death With Dignity law for those of us who want that option.
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Good beautiful day to you!👋😃 I am going to stay off Twitter now until the inauguration over so I can enjoy the coverage. Currently watching Trump fly the fuck away.
👏👏👏👏
TTYL!
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@TheTNHoller
I feel like one of the requirements as an elected official needs to be that you are required to answer questions that are asked of you.
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@propublica
ONE of my high school students completed his online course in the 4th quarter. A handful did 2-3 assns. Most did nothing. This was typical. Not completing online work SHOULD NOT have been considered and this child SHOULD NOT be incarcerated.
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@DionneGrant
This is the only kind of Christmas card photo I want to see. This is love, this is holidays, this isn't a family holding guns.
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@RossKneeDeep
My 86-year-old mom mentioned that she met a very nice Oriental lady while on her walk. I said, "How about if you just said you met a nice lady on your walk. Would you say 'I met a nice white lady on my walk?'" I'm still not sure she really got it. She is a product of her times.
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@patriottakes
How is this allowed? FFS...Have some decency. Gawd, that entire family exemplifies douchebaggery🤬🤬
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As some of you know, my mom moved in yesterday. I'm wondering if it's just my mom or lots of old people. Do old people just futz around? Like when I'm getting ready to leave, I just grab my shit and go. It took her like 15 minutes to get out the door to walk her dog.
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What's the favorite car you ever had? When I was in college, I bought an old MGB. Had it painted and reupholstered. I loved that car. I felt cool driving it. Honestly, though it was a piece of shit and broke down all the time 🙄
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@cliffordlevy
@AntheaButler
I saw another article, not too long ago, about this same situation. I hate that this happens and I am not surprised.
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@michaelharriot
This is an excellent history lesson and, once again, I will say "WHY ISN'T THIS TAUGHT IN SCHOOL?"
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@buitengebieden
SO cute!
"To prevent themselves from floating away in the swirling sea while they sleep, sea otters often entangle themselves in forests of kelp or giant seaweed to provide anchorage. This is also the reason why they hold hands. They do so in order to prevent themselves from /1
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@ozzythefloof
The breed called "Happy Doggo." They come in a variety of colors, hair lengths, sizes, etc. Virtually anyone can have Happy Doggo of their own.
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@schaalfan
I have always been an avid reader. I don't buy books. I only get them from the library. In my mind, libraries are one of humanity's greatest things 😃
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Today, I walked out of my classroom and left my school for the last time. I'm retired! 👏👏 But I have a new job starting August 7th 😃
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@Garydav37982807
I am child-free by choice. Not once have I ever regretted that choice. I was not cut out to raise children. Someone's got to rescue the dogs, right?
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@Kosher_Weaver
@AZScorpion_Tail
I try to convince my high school students of this all the time. I tell them you will always make good money and you will always have a job. I doubt a single one of them has ever paid any attention.
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I just received an email from a former student (10 years ago) thanking me for making an impact on her and now I'm crying and it's the best thing that's happened to me in months.😭😭😭😭 If you have/had a favorite teacher, please write to them.
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@AfricanArchives
Horrifying. I hated clicking "like," but there isn't a way to acknowledge I've read the tweet.😭😭😭😭😭
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My friend and I at a Christmas party, 32 years ago. She is the first of my friend circle to go and I miss her so much 💔
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@DickKingSmith
My 88-year-old dad is long-retired, likes to make things and needs "jobs." I am going to suggest this to him and we can take them to dog parks around the city!
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@DoomScroling
I had to look up the 4B movement. Apparently, I've been decades ahead of this 🤣👍😀
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My friend bought her dog his own window bench and I think it's the cutest darn thing 😍
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'Conspiracies structure American politics, but they are not called conspiracies when they are wrapped in the flag or stamped with bureaucracy or printed piecemeal in the papers. They are called plans or policies or "just the way things are."'
Sarah Kendzior
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This morning, I saw three dogs run across the road and nobody was coming after them and so I went after them. After a chase, a vet visit to see if they were microchipped (they were, but there was no contact information. I think a lot of people think the microchip contains /1
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The total of what I have at school to bring home after 27 years of teaching 😐
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Is anyone else watching the Netflix documentary series Our Great National Parks, narrated by Obama? Wow! It's reeeeeeeally good☺️
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Does anyone have an explanation for why I suddenly can't "like" tweets?
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I went over to conservative Twitter once, did a LOT of this:👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 and then ran back home. Took me days to recover😬😬
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@varindersingh24
I had a dog named Bill. I always thought it was the funniest, for some reason. Almost all of my pets have had human names.
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@notcapnamerica
Uggghhhh...I feel so bad for retail workers right now😡 Underpaid, overworked and now expected to be the mask police😳😟
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What is going on today with cast iron skillets in the dishwasher? I swear, I have seen four different people tweet about this.
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@patriottakes
@RoseyRoseamund
Every damn day I wake up and think, "Surely the bar cannot be any lower." and every damn day I am proven wrong. There is no bottom, is there?
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@BuckterKelly
Saddle shoes! The year I made cheer in high school was the first year we were allowed to wear sneakers instead of saddle shoes. So, we got Nike Cortez's with a light blue swoosh😃
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@notcapnamerica
Why are these people SO nasty? How does that benefit them? I can't even wrap my head around this kind of behavior.
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@AuthorKimberley
@christian_moerk
@cbouzy
💯 I am a public school teacher and although I don't shitpost about my school or district specifically, I often do about education. I have no desire to have students, staff, or admin know who I am😬 Perhaps I will feel differently after I retire.
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A while ago, I saw a tweet about a shortage of frozen chopped spinach. I thought "Ha ha! That's funny! This is a joke, right?" I've now been to the grocery store 3 times in the past 3 weeks to get it. There is none. Who is eating all the frozen spinach?😡😡
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@hiitaylorblake
I'm a teacher. I don't have lists. I need nothing. I hope every teacher who has a list gets what they need while I rant and rage that this is even necessary.🤬🤬🤬 FUND EDUCATION!
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Has anyone in Biden's administration been charged with anything criminal today? No? Weird...very weird...
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@CaylinSoo
@grahamwalker
My friend was a NICU nurse and loved her job until she was told she was going to be floated to a COVID floor. She pretty much said, "Fuck that shit" and quit. Now, she's teaching nursing at the high school level. She's thankful she didn't have to endure any abuse from patients.
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@Xalapalynn
@Unauthorizedbe1
As much as social media is often shitty, there are moments like this that give one hope 💙💙
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Do you have a single friend who lives alone and doesn't work and wouldn't be missed for a few days if they died, alone, in their house or apartment? Reach out to that friend and ask them to send you a text/emoji every morning just so someone knows they woke up and are alive.
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