David
@schaalfan
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Librarian. Writer. Still missing Party Down. Views/tweets are my own and don’t represent my employer.
Atlanta, GA
Joined May 2011
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Pinned Tweet
I was emptying the book drop and heard a small voice say, “Goodbye books. Be safe in the dark!” as she gently dropped 2 Eloise books in the outdoor book drop. Good afternoon to this young reader!
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Today a woman with developmental disabilities came into the library, and said she was lost. She didn't know her address, but her phone number was in her pocket on a piece of paper with Elmo on it. She kept saying, "The library is a safe place."
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I was behind two construction workers getting Publix subs today, and one was digging for change, and the other said quietly, “I got some extra birthday money this week, so I can get yours and you can get extra cheese too.” The guy instantly relaxed.
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We called and her guardian came right over. Apparently this happens pretty regularly. They even stayed long enough for her to check out some new books and Sesame Street DVDs. The library is a safe place indeed.
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Anyways, here’s hoping someone has your back if you need some help this weekend too.
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Good morning to the older patron who brought in his coin collection to show the library staff “because no one had seen it in awhile.”
Maybe we should do a library show and tell program where adults can just bring cool stuff they own to talk about?
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An older patron just came in to check out our Atlanta Zoo pass. He said he woke up and it occurred to him that he had never seen a lemur up close, and in his eighth decade of life he wanted to change that. I hope he has a great day.
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One year ago today I helped a patron prepare for a job interview by going over his resume and loaning him one of my bow ties. He got the job. Today we opened our tie library with 50 ties from my collection. Open to all. No library card needed. 5 already checked out!
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I hope the kid who burst through the library doors with both arms raised and whisper screamed, "THE LIBRARY!" before getting an exasperated look on his face and saying, "but first, I potty!" and running back out into the lobby, is having a magical afternoon.
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Ummmm I don't have a SoundCloud, but I hope this tweet has reminded some of you to swing by your public library! We're all doing the best we can with what we have. Stay safe and wear a mask whether a mask mandate is in place or not.
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An 85 year old man is using our library's adult literacy tutor to learn to read for the first time today. He even brought a new pencil case and notebook and showed up 30 minutes early to walk the stacks. Libraries are the best!
#librarylife
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Thanks to the patron who just called from the grocery store to ask for the best graham cracker brand for S'mores and then followed up with "they didn't do anything racist, right?" My first two reference questions in months!
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“He’s light brown, but also white on two paws!”
-Good afternoon to the patron who just called the library reference desk to describe his new puppy in detail to us because his daughter was busy and he didn’t know who else to call.
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Thinking about years ago when the NORAD Santa Tracker phone number given over the radio actually went to an office some of my friends worked at (incorrectly and without any warning), and they spent their entire shift that night telling children where Santa was flying.
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“They don’t need you to save them, they need you to see them”.
-Jason Reynolds on how we should be helping underserved communities at the library.
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Your yearly reminder to be patient and kind, because people learn to read at different ages
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A Publix cashier told me her sister worked for a Scholastic warehouse around the holidays every year and was paid in books. She saved all the books for years and donated 2 semis worth of new books to her local library, so they named a reading nook after her.
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This looks like 1 of the 4 guys at the library waiting for the other 2 to get done with the only newspaper they want to read.
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Good morning to the first patron of the day who waited outside for 15 minutes before we opened and then immediately came to the reference desk and asked, "How do you unfriend on Facebook? I'm sick of reading Bernice's shit!"
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I’m just a librarian, standing in front a patron, asking her to believe me when I tell her that putting her Yahoo email into Gmail will not bring up her Yahoo account.
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Shoutout to the grandfather who looked at me and said, “I’d carry the whole library if she asked me to!” when his granddaughter kept asking for one more book.
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We’ve already got 12 people lined up for the free showers event at the library. Clothes, coffee, food, new underwear and socks, and toiletries are available them as well. It’s going to be a great Saturday!
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I survived my last shift of the year at the library, and the last e-mail I got was from another branch manager letting me know that the first patron who checked out a tie from them, came back today and said he wore it to a job interview and got the job. He starts January 4th!
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Good morning to the patron who just asked me to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar over the phone because she wanted to make sure it wasn't too violent for her children.
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Just got accosted at the grocery store by a library patron with no mask on who was upset the library still wasn't open. YOUR BEHAVIOR IS PART OF THE REASON THE LIBRARY ISN'T OPEN, SIR! Librarian is not Latin for martyr. We'll open when it's safe.
#librarianproblems
#librarylife
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I hope to one day be as confident in what I need as the young patron who just walked into the branch in her yellow raincoat on this rainy Monday and said, “I need Madeline books, obviously!”
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An older patron has been sitting at one of our library tables for the past week. Today he said he's been coming in because he was just diagnosed with depression and this place makes him happy. He left for lunch with a list of free mental health facilities and a smile on his face.
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CIRC STAFF MEMBERS AND SHELVERS AND CUSTODIANS AND VOLUNTEERS ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT TO RUNNING A LIBRARY AS LIBRARIANS
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Patron just came in with a hammer and said, “I’m donating these photos to the library. Where should I hang them?”
Umm, there’s a process my dude. You just can’t come in without warning and start hanging photos you randomly decided we would want!
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Instead of saying “I want to work here because I love books!” during your library job interview, you should say “I want to connect community members to the awesome resources the library has to offer and also I have a passion for pushing in chairs by computers!” You’ll stand out!
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Four people came in and got new library cards at my branch this afternoon and they mentioned that they just listened to to the latest
@ThisAmerLife
that focuses on libraries. Thanks, Ira and the TAL crew.
#librarylife
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Just did a book-a-librarian session with a nervous teen in a study room. Why did he need the study room? He was there because he wanted to practice coming out to his parents. He booked the room again later to come out to his friends. He did a great job!
#librarylife
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I wish I could hand out this mask at the library to anyone who comes in and gives us a hard time about wearing masks:
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Patron: Two guys at the reference desk? This is a library. Where the ladies at?
Me: At their engineering jobs?
He didn't like to hear that!
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Beverly Cleary passed away 3 years ago today at 105. Not bad for a writer and librarian. I just checked out a stack of Ramona books to a patron yesterday.
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“Libraries are one of the last non-commercial spaces we have where everyone is welcome. They strike me as a little glimpse of how we could live if we chose to be a generous society rather than a fearful one.”
-Jenny Offill
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Good afternoon to everyone, but especially to the 80 year old stranger I just played pickleball against, who overheard I was a librarian and said "Read this" before hitting directly at me.
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I promise it’s not your local library refusing to buy shows from streaming services, its the fact that those streamers refuse to release shows on physical media most of the time.
Mike Flanagan says Netflix was actively hostile towards the idea of releasing any physical media.
“I tried very hard to get them to release my work on Blu-Ray & DVD. Netflix refused at every turn. It became clear very fast that their only priority was subs, & that they were
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Patron came out of the study room to ask if I’d like to leave the reference desk and be on his podcast about pickles.
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Ended my library shift on a 20 minute phone call with Amos from the Senior facility next door. He wanted to know who still had cheap Valentine's Day candy because his neighbor didn't get any and he wanted to surprise her before they watched Roman Holiday tonight. We found some!
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This is my Uncle Bill. He taught himself to carve later in life, and his Santa Christmas ornaments that he made out of hollowed out golf balls were featured in a major woodworking magazine soon after. He was recovering from a brain tumor when he contracted COVID and passed today.
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I hope the man with developmental disabilities in front of me at Publix who told me, the man behind me, and the cashier, that he was buying the gift card for his dad because his dad takes him to the arcade even if he works a double shift and is tired, has a great rest of the day.
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Good afternoon to all of you, but especially to the local author who keeps moving his book to the poetry section, because according to him, even though his book is about religion, his words are poetry. The library organizational system is not vibes, sir.
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Informed a patron we would be closed next Monday, and before I could finish with “for staff development day” he said, “Oh for fat bear week?”
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Older patron just called asking for some of the “good natured” books he saw in the catalog. Turns out he came across some of our graphic novels that are labeled GN in the catalog and assumed it meant good natured. It was an incredibly sweet conversation.
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No, the library will not accept your 20 year old encyclopedias and then send them to an “impoverished country” because everyone deserves up to date information, Brenda!
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I just checked, and my coworker confirmed that the elderly couple who comes into the library every Valentines Day to pick out a book for each other (then they wrap them at home), did separate contact free pickup sessions yesterday, so the tradition continues!
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FYI: Every library sign should be read with an exclamation point at the end of it, whether it’s actually on the sign or not.
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Don’t be this person. The library has no need for your 35 year old Organic Chemistry books in German.
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A patron who finally found housing got a library card after years using guest passes every day. His first stop after moving in was here so he could invite some of his friends on computers in a similar situation over to his new place. We're all doing our best!
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"I'm fine, I was just thinking about dogs."
-kid who walked into a table at the library.
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I’m guessing Google consulted zero public librarians before forcing 2FA on 250 million accounts
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Going to start answering the phone “Thank you for calling the library! This is David, and a fun fact about the library is we do not have any eclipse glasses to give away. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
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When I do outreach at convenience stores and laundromats, the thing people are most shocked by is that library cards are free. This is why meeting people where they are is so vital.
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I called a patron to let him know his ILL was in and he answered the phone by screaming, "Nice try, Sandra. I'm still alive."
You know, the normal way you answer a phone.
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Mom called to let me know that she went to another library, and they also had a summer reading program and it was also the same theme as the local library, so I had to break it to her that the theme is the same at all libraries and our local library didn’t invent summer reading.
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Today a patron waited for the other reference librarian to be free, because she refused to be helped by someone who “dresses like a goddamn unicorn Starbucks drink!”
Which...fair.
#librarylife
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Two of our homeless patrons just had a marriage ceremony outside the library and then came in to ask for two computers next to each other.
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We have to send weekly report e-mails to the library and I just got an e-mail from our director stating, "It's not a competition to see who can be the most productive. Self-care and rest could make you a better employee in the long run, so don't stress about it." Love that!
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Schools are closed and libraries are open. Here we go. Thinking of everyone in a similar position.
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Me: Hello. How can I help you?
Patron on the phone: When will - oh wait, the ice cream truck is here. I guess I don't need you after all. (hangs up).
Was he going to ask me the schedule for the ice cream truck or is he about to ask an ice cream truck driver a reference question?!
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THE LIBRARY IS NOT A PLACE YOU CAN COME AND SELF-QUARANTINE, SIR. Thank you for asking first.
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A patron who passed away left her complete LEGO Hogwarts Castle to the library and it was assembled and placed in a case today! It’s pretty impressive!
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I can’t turn off being a librarian. I had an eye appointment today and convinced my ophthalmologist to look into giving free exams at the library and letting us do a take it apart STEAM program with some of the old equipment they had!
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Just overhead a coworker say to a patron, “Sir, I can’t co-sign on a loan for you.” That reminds me of the patron who asked if he could pay fir his vacation on the “library credit card” and he’d pay us back later. I love the chaotic energy of library patrons.
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Children’s department reminding the reference department that it’s unicorn tea party day, and they need to wear the unicorn hats all day.
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I will never take for granted the fact that I get paid to walk around a quiet library for a few minutes and make sure everything is in working order before we open the doors.
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A patron is going through the list of members of her high school Senior class to see who passed away, because this year is their 75th class reunion. She just shouted from her computer, "Yes! I outlived, Mabel!" Some grudges never go away, I guess.
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Wil Wheaton (!!!) referenced a tweet of mine in a really beautiful keynote he gave at the Southern Kentucky Book Festival today!
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“That’s Mr. David. He’s a librarian who loves cheese quesadillas and Pepsi.”
-Taco Bell manager introducing a new hire when I walked in. I need to change up my lunch places more often.
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Just confirmed for a patron that potatoes are back at Taco Bell so he can satisfy his “cheese and potatoes lunchtime hankering” today. Doing the Lord’s work here at the reference desk.
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Today we watched as a patron lugged her own printer/scanner/copier to the library so she could copy two pages of a library book without giving the library "one red cent." Respect.
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Last night I went on a late Target run, and I saw a senior patron working there who I helped apply for the job years earlier. I remember him because he told me he only wanted part time nights because he plays with his dog all day, and that’s when his dog is “tuckered out.”
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Every once in a while I check to make sure the liquor store with my favorite name is still open (and they are)!
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Ready to provide you with reference services or be a background actor on your British murder mystery show on PBS.
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“Does y’alls Library have a space big enough for exorcisms?”
Standard question for 1 PM on a Thursday.
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RIP Eric Carle. Thank you for turning so many kids into lifelong readers and library users
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Thinking of every librarian, service worker, etc. who just showed up to do their job in DC today and are now caught up in all this shit. I hope everyone makes it out safely.
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YES WE'RE OPEN TODAY. NO I'M NOT JUST PAID TO ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED. YES I AGREE THAT WOULD BE A WASTE OF COUNTY FUNDS. YES I'M SURE WE'RE OPEN.
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“Hi! I’m way down the holds queue for this popular novel. If I buy it, will the library reimburse me because it’s an inconvenience to wait?”
Ummmm.....no.
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I’m setting up a library of things at my branch. We have ties, bow ties, and soon we will have disc golf kits and soccer kits. What fun things have you seen in your library of things collection, or what is something you would like to see a library carry?
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6 years ago I walked behind this couple on my way to a storytelling show. They held hands the entire time and stopped to kiss every few minutes. When they let me pass I asked it it was their anniversary, and she smiled and said, “No, it’s Wednesday.” I hope they’re still well.
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@Srirachachau
The cinema I worked at in high school was accidentally sent the French version of ‘Sleepy Hollow’ and when the first customers came out to let us know, the manager tried convincing them Sleepy Hollow was a town in France in a sad effort to not have to refund them.
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Shout out to the 10 year old patron who ordered her own ILL! I called to let her know it arrived today and she politely listened to my spiel about where to pick it up before saying, "Well that's simply splendid!" and hanging up. Don't ever change!
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"You ever use the library? They got books and stuff you can get picked up with a card."
-new neighbor who I met by the mailboxes just tried to pitch me on using libraries.
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Today a patron knocked out power to 3 computers because he was stomping his feet to ‘Cotton Eye Joe’ and accidentally turned the surge protector off. Truly a beautiful thing to watch happen in real time.
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I'm just a librarian, standing in front of a patron at the contact free pickup table, asking her to REFRAIN FROM PULLING UP THE VIDEO SHE TOOK OF HER CAT GIVING BIRTH.
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Just had to write this incident report: Patron A accused Patron B of breaking his laptop by farting on it. After investigation, it was determined Patron A's computer was not sufficiently charged an did not break due to flatulence.
#librarylife
#librarianproblems
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A patron had the song you hear on ice cream trucks as his ringtone, and no less than 7 people immediately bolted for the door when they heard it go off. Now I need to download it, so I have something to play 2 minutes before close.
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“Will you just give me the stupid Wordle answer? I only have one guess left.”
-patron over the phone today
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I could literally be running for my life, and I’d still find a way to check out their selection. Used bookstores are my kryptonite.
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"Just be cool, everyone."
-the librarian's prayer before the last hour of the day.
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Just spent 45 minutes on the phone with a patron looking for places to purchase elegant buttons, so her collection could be more impressive than Marge's at her next button club meetup. 20 minutes of this conversation was just shit talking Marge, and I loved every minute of it!
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Patron informed me her library card was possessed. I assured her it wasn’t and told her she was attempting to login with her Kroger card. The patron then asked me if the Kroger card was possessed and I admitted that I had no way of knowing She seemed satisfied.
#hour5onthedesk
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