Danielle Herzog
@danicounselor
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Educator, counselor & #kidlit writer. Lover of cheesy puffs. Author of What Are You, Lou? from @BeamingBooks . #schoolcounselor #writer #educator
Joined April 2012
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Welcome to the world “What Are You, Lou?”! A picture book that champions diverse identities and encourages readers to embrace the unique mark they leave on the world. Out today!!
#identity
#kidlit
#booklaunch
#counselors
#parenting
#parents
#teachers
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The real look of cancer. Almost bald head. Port scar. A body full of life saving drugs and steroids. And the face of a person thriving not just surviving.
#breastcancer
#cancer
#chemo
#thriving
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164
5K
My buzz cut went from badass to just bad. I’m traveling so far away from how I looked before cancer. So I had a good cry then decided that I’m going to make these scarves part of a fashion statement. I’m taking back the power.
#breastcancer
#chemo
#thriving
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Well hello day 6 after chemo infusion. The day that the fog lifts. The day where my stomach feels almost right. The day where I feel life start to breathe in me again. Good to see you again. Let’s stick around for awhile, ok?
#breastcancer
#thriving
#chemo
#breastcancerawareness
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I created a drinking game where my husband & I listen to Kidz Bop after kids go to bed & drink whenever they've changed a dirty song lyric.
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I'm quite certain the phrase "Weapons of Mass Destruction" was originally used for siblings who are nearing the end of summer break.
#Ugh
0
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I lead the after-school drama club at my kid's school. A 1st gr said, "Can you teach me how to act like I'm listening when my dad talks?"
5
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I can't imagine a world where I don't yell "BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE" when my kids start a sentence with "I like".
#Parenting
#BabyGotBack
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After clumps of my hair fell out over the past 24 hours, the time finally came to shave it. There were some tears to start and then far more laughter. Exactly as I wanted it to go.
#breastcancer
#thriving
#chemo
#chemohair
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If you ever want to see how patient you are, watch a 4 yr old try to zip up their jacket. You should be canonized for sainthood after that.
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Thank you Amazon. Completely and utterly enjoyed the new remake of Cinderella with my daughter. Female empowerment, great music and a fun way to spend the day with my girl. Highly recommend.
#CinderellaMovie
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Friend who had baby 9 mnths ago: "I think we're past the really hard parenting stuff"
Me: (not able to speak because I'm laughing too hard)
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Every time a child goes back to school, an angel gets its wings.
And by angel, I mean an exhausted mother and by wings I mean a mimosa.
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I don't need a Fitbit. I need a device that has a hand come out & slap me when I reach for a donut. That's the thing I'll pay $140 to wear.
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I've been waiting for this moment for seven years.
My kid just stepped on a Lego and screamed bloody murder.
#TasteofOwnMedicine
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My 4 yr old son told me I look cute in my shirt. So of course I let him eat fruit snacks for breakfast. It was a win win for both of us.
0
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I’M NOT THE DANIELLE HERZOG WHO WROTE SOME OFFENSIVE SINGLE DAD/FATHER’S DAY POST SOMEWHERE.
Different writer.
So before you go writing me a mean message, please know I love dads. I mean, at times they tell really corny jokes and all, but I still love em.
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I dedicate my wine tonight to the mom whose baby pulled down her top at the pool, right as her teen daughter brought a boy over to meet her.
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What I look like when my kids wake me up at 7 am to ask what we are doing today. Damn summer break.
#parenting
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Son: I'm stepping on your shadow
Me: Yeah? Which part?
Son: Your bum. It's the biggest & fits both my feet.
How a mother starts her day.
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Is it bad that I use an advent calendar to countdown the days until school starts? Each day is a different tiny bottle of liquor.
#Parenting
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I think Time's person of the year should be the mom in Target I saw that was singing Daniel Tiger's theme song without her kids with her.
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Guess what happened today my Twitter friends??? I had a marketing meeting with
@BeamingBooksMN
for my book coming out next year. A marketing meeting!!! It’s happening. So so cool.
#Kidlit
#PictureBook
#WritingCommunity
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Thanks to my 5 yr old son screaming "What's this?" while holding it up, all the parents at swim team now know I have a tampon in my bag.
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There just has to be a job where I can put "Able to open fruit snacks with teeth while pushing straw into Capri Sun" on my application.
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My daughter asked why parks are closed at dark. I told her it was to stop teens from making bad decisions. She then said "Like littering?"
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Representing for all those who are going through it and all those that have been through it. Let’s hope that our future doesn’t have to walk this same road. Hopefully change is a coming soon.
#breastcancerawareness
#breastcancer
#chemotherapy
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I keep waiting for
#DonaldTrump
to look into the camera & yell "And live from New York it's Saturday Night Live!!!"
#Debates
#WTF
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So if I eat 4 boxes of Thin Mints, I get to put a badge on the ass of my sweatpants, right?
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"Everyone's so sad," my son said. "Let's go ride the Ferris Wheel."
So we did.
And it helped.
Now I'm staying on it for the next 4 years.
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I'm about to take out the car seats in my minivan. Medics might find me clutching my chest mumbling "So many Goldfish crackers. So many...."
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I can’t believe I get to say this. But I just signed a book deal with Beaming Books for a picture book I wrote earlier this year. I’m so excited to finally share the news!! Stay tuned for details!
#picturebooks
#dreambig
#writers
#kidlit
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The face of a girl three years cancer free! Clean scans - woo hoo!
#BreastCancerSurvivor
#breastcancerawareness
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Love that we have a principal who takes the time to play. It’s so important to build those relationships with kids and he’s truly doing that! You go
@Glenn_E_Mitch
!
@OPS_Harrison
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The 6 yr old daughter just told me that someday she dreams of having boobs. Then she followed it up with, "But not as low as yours."
#ouch
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5 yr old son: Mommy, I forgot that I shouldn't pick my nose. But it's ok, I put it back in my nose after.
He says while holding my hand.
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Overheard my children telling our
#ElfOnAShelf
what they wanted for xmas. Then they added, "and maybe a sweatshirt without stains for Mom."
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I'm pretty sure a mother at Target for an hour without children could probably grocery shop & solve world peace in that amount of time.
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For those of you stuck in
#Snowmageddon2015
let me remind you that milk & eggs expire way faster than gin & tonic.
#shopsmart
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Not every kid is excited for holiday break. I tried today to say “I’ll miss you” instead of “Have a great break.” I loved how many students said it back. The power of connections.
#ConnectingWithKids
#WinterBreak
#SchoolCounselor
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I'm just a girl.
Standing in front of the refrigerator.
Asking for it to cook for her.
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This is my principal. I won’t go anywhere near this room but I love that he’s still a teacher in his heart and his actions. Very grateful that he came to our school as our new principal this year & we get to experience his kind &supportive soul.
#WeAreHarrison
#OPS
@Glenn_E_Mitch
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It finally happened. I finally turned to my kids when they were fighting & said, "Stop. Collaborate and listen." I've waited years for this.
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I opened a beer at dinner tonight. To which my 8 yr old daughter nodded and said "So it's like that today, eh?"
#WiseBeyondHerYears
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Me: "Why are you crying?"
4 yr old son: "The Cha Cha slide guy was talking too fast. I tried to Cha Cha but could only slide."
#RealProblems
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Perfect middle age drinking game is to drink every time you say "who is that?" when watching the
#VMAs
- You'll be drunk in 15 minutes tops.
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What have you done America? You were so busy wanting change, you never stopped to look at who you were voting to do it.
#ElectionDay
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I feel bad for this pregnant giraffe. An entire world just staring at her buttocks. She's like the Kim Kardashian of the animal kingdom.
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It was my first night teaching at
@UNOmaha
and these future school counselors are rocking it. Loved being around their energy and drive.
#SchoolCounselors
#AdjunctProfessor
@UNOCEHHS
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Of course I bought the Descendants teen movie soundtrack for you, kiddos. And definitely not for that damn Rotten to the Core catchy tune.
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My son told me he likes my hair pulled back because it looks like a zebra with all my gray hair. So I threw out all my ponytail holders.
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If there's any doubt she's my kid, my daughter just put "a sea of books" on her xmas list. So awesome. And so expensive.
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Kids back in school today so I apologize to neighbors who saw me dance naked in my house singing "It's the most wonderful time of the year!"
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You can keep your keg parties, college kids. There is no greater thrill than being middle age and drinking wine in pajamas.
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"Hey Mom, did you know your shirt was inside out?"
Words spoken to me at the END of the day.
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Although I’ll always be a counselor at heart and will miss my amazing Harrison family, I’m excited to say I’ll be the Assistant Principal at
@PaddockRoad66
next year. Paddock Pandas here I come! Can’t wait to meet all the students, staff and families soon!
@Westside66
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Exhale. Just passed the Principal/Ed Leadership Praxis exam this morning. If you need me, I’ll be the girl asleep on the couch from mental exhaustion in about 5 minutes.
#SoManyScenarioQuestions
#EducationalLeadership
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Melania Trump just said her goal as first lady would be to end cyber-bullying. So obviously, she doesn't follow her husband on Twitter.
#Ugh
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Being a parent the night before school starts is basically like being a crazy ex-girlfriend. Don't go, I love you. You have to go. No don't.
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2 years ago. We walked around Great Wolf Lodge wondering if we should go home. 2 phone calls came. 1 that school was closing. The other that I had to get a biopsy for 2 lumps.
Here’s the best part. We got through it all. All of us. Our family, our country, our world. We rock.
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Every time we finish the first night of conferences, I feel so awed and amazed by our teachers. They teach all day, then spend such quality time with parents. Their dedication is endless. Teachers are awesome.
#HarrisonProud
#Teachers
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There's no parenting book that prepares you for the time you realize at 10 pm you're supposed to bring snack for your kid's class tomorrow.
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The polls should give us not just a "I Voted" sticker but also a paper bag to breathe into for the next 5 hours.
#ElectionNight
#ImWithHer
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When you're a
#parent
, it is best not to attempt to figure out what the various stains on your clothing are. A mystery better left unsolved.
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Here we go. Chemo
#1
. Feeling anxious but ready. It’s not the actual chemo that’s hard - it’s life in the days after chemo. So fingers crossed those all go smoothly. Let’s do this.
#chemotherapy
#breastcancer
#thriving
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I'm pretty sure that when I close my eyes to sleep tonight, I won't be able to get Tracey Morgan as The Danish Girl out of my head.
#Oscars
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Today is my birthday and a student asked me if I was turning 19.
Yes. Yes I am.
I’m showing them that if you are focused on your goals, you too can become a school counselor at just 19 years old.
#KidsAreFunny
#47GoingOn19
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Only the really cool bloggers at
#BlogHer15
go to the Social Media Bootcamp session on
#Twitter
. Are you one of them?
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Let's take a moment of silence for all who are home w/kids during
#Snowmageddon
Let us pray Red Cross gives free alcohol to those in need.
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My 8 yr old girl made us best friend bracelets. I almost cried. Mainly because I know she'll throw hers at me in rage when she's 13.
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Just yelled at a car of teenagers driving too fast through our neighborhood. Pretty sure that qualifies me for early social security checks.
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My heart is full right now. A student who never has come to speak with me before came today and at the end said “Well I feel so much better now. Wish I did this sooner.” Mental health matters. So so matters.
#SchoolCounselor
#MentalHealthMatters
#KidsAreAwesome
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My kid is full of insight today:
"Mommy, how come when Daddy puts on sweats it's to go running. But when you put them on, it's to sit down?"
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I'm fairly certain kids could make serious cash by selling band aids to other kids. It would be like the preschool version of Breaking Bad.
0
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Today I saw my child hug all her friends goodbye afterschool. Her friends of different races, religions & backgrounds. There is hope.
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Oh crap. I don't think that's Alec Baldwin. For the past 38 minutes I've been laughing at his awesome performance. Whoops.
#Debate
0
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Can someone please open a daycare for
#parents
? Where someone feeds us snacks & rolls out cots for us to nap? I promise I'm potty trained.
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So Kanye gets to be hospitalized for exhaustion yet I just went to 2 school events, wrote 6 articles, cooked 3 meals and yet I'm still here.
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The middle age equivalent of a hangover after a college party is the exhaustion after hosting a 2 hour kids birthday party.
#parenting
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My favorite thing is when Kindergarteners can’t remember my name so they call me “Feelings Teacher”. True and also so so funny.
#SchoolCounselor
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Introduced my kids to the song “Earl Had To Die” only to have my daughter afterwards shake her head and say, “Another song that’s probably not appropriate for us to hear.”
#WinningAtParenting
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27
Are you a gorilla? Or a mother of 4 kids at the zoo? Unless you're either of those things, just walk on, whistling and minding your own.
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I wore white to vote in honor of all the women who fought for my right to be in that booth today. Your work was not in vain.
#ElectionDay
0
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I've killed plants, goldfish and even a hamster. Yet, I seem to be able to keep humans alive. Go me! Happy
#mothersday
to all.
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You know you're old when you're actually disappointed that you got your period. Because you were really hoping menopause was kicking in.
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As you age, you realize you fantasize about guacamole significantly more than you do about hot celebrity men. Unless said men come w/chips.
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There should be a drinking game where I take a swig of something strong each time a human I birthed tells me about their bathroom escapades.
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Real
#love
is your husband smelling you after you changed your son's pee stained bed & saying, "You smell like pee but I'd still tap that."
0
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26
The click of a mother's seatbelt on a road trip is obviously a signal to your children to drop crap they can't reach.
#RoadTripWithKids
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Am I the only one that looks at my kids sometimes & thinks, "You were in my freakin' belly." And then thinks how absolutely weird that was??
2
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My girl just turned 7. I asked how she felt about being a year older:
"Well, I still don't have boobies but I really like the new Legos."
0
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Leggings. There should be a big hole on the ass of them so women realize you are supposed to wear a shirt long enough to cover it.
1
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If you are going to post how many miles you ran then it's only fair that us lazy people post how many cheesy puffs we ate. Mine is 39.
3
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24
Ricky Gervais - you make the world a more wonderful and highly uncomfortable place.
#GoldenGIobes
1
12
26
Son had eyes dilated & saw a picture of Julia Roberts in magazine. He asked if it was me. So obviously I'm dilating his eyes every day.
1
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Being a counselor, educator or truly any job, has its tough days. But on those days, I think of what my first principal ever said to me “It’s not how you end the day that matters, but the fact that you show up every morning willing to try again.”
#WeCanDoHardThings
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I just learned that those "Baby on Board" signs aren't actually about husbands with colds. Fascinating.
0
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