Mike Osborne
@M_David_Osborne
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Posts about consciousness, decision making, and how to understand each other better. Our culture is broken, let's fix it
Joined March 2023
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Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
How to not take things personally.
This is a quick 5-minute video on a technique I use to not take things personally.
Comments/feedback appreciated!
(I'm reposting this video because the volume was a little low in the previous version)
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@Kadiquart
You're missing an important piece of this: the elected officials ask Musk to do something illegal by Brazilian laws.
In other words, those in power were doing something illegal.
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3K
@ellegist
"I wonder if he will ever realise how much his reaction vindicated her"
What?
Having an opinion and creating a boundary because you lost trust in someone is equivalent to abuse?!?!
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@pbprot
There's a predictable pattern to ragebate.
- Drop important context.
- Group dissimilar people into the same bucket.
- Frame the enlarged group using the worst examples.
- Add additional sweeping generalizations.
- Post.
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1K
@stillgray
Wagner to Putin: "Check this out. The US will give us 6.2B if we stage a coup. Wanna pretend and split it?"
Putin: "I'm in"
Wagner to US: "I'm in"
*Wagner announces coup and does military stuff*
*US wires money to Wagner*
Wagner to world: "Naah, we changed our minds"
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@justinhorowitz_
Shame, outrage, and shunning worked to change behavior when we were a homogeneous society.
People no longer have to tolerate dogmatic ideology on how to live - they find a subculture that welcomes their choices.
Your thoughts over another's actions have no power anymore.
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@DrAmyPsyD
Another way to look at this:
If you can't "trauma dump" in your own therapy session, where can you?!?
The answer can't be nowhere... That would mean you (and those who had similar experiences) can't ever talk about what happened.
That can't be the right answer.
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@ValentinaForSOS
You could have voiced your dissent without the bigotry.
We need to unite, not divide.
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@dieworkwear
Found this gem of a word in my travels:
Compersion : The sympathetic joy we feel for somebody else, even when their positive experience does not involve or benefit us directly.
Antonyms : jealousy, possessiveness
More joy in the world is a good thing, even it's not my joy.
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@thevivafrei
@rustyrockets
The government having an opinion of someone who has not been convicted of a crime is a violation of due process.
This is disgusting.
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@PicturesFoIder
To paraphrase "The Romantic Manifesto"
A work of art is about beauty. Real life has enough blemishes. When you create art, you get to emphasize what is important and remove what isn't. Adding blemishes to art draws attention to the ugly, the mundane, the typical.
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@Ida_Clemens
@ellegist
You're free to mute me if you don't like my opinion.
He trusted her just fine until she hid something from him.
Leaving someone isn't controlling. Telling someone what to do is controlling.
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Page 1 of my book. We know that values are relative, but by deconstructing consciousness, I come upon a non-relative value we can use to connect with each other and make better decisions...
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Ranty post incoming!
Trust is at an all time low, and here's why:
While nobody wants to feel overly obligated, agreements (saying 'Yes') creates expectations with the others. Those hearing a "yes" will then plan their time around an activity, losing that time and the
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@wrath_776
As noted, there is a very real, and destructive segment of the population preaching "I don't owe you anything!" as if it's entirely OK to break agreements
It destroys trust and is incredibly unfair.
I wrote a lengthy rant about this the other day:
Ranty post incoming!
Trust is at an all time low, and here's why:
While nobody wants to feel overly obligated, agreements (saying 'Yes') creates expectations with the others. Those hearing a "yes" will then plan their time around an activity, losing that time and the
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@hi_its_annaleah
Wow. It works the other way.
Dishonest people are always buttoned up - it gives them plausible deniability.
Anyone who is "oversharing" is giving a ton of transparency, and transparency is a flag a person isn't dishonest. 🤦
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@Eric_Conn
If you get offended by what other people are doing that has no impact on you, you're going to get offended a lot.
Wouldn't the energy be better used doing something else - something under your control?
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@fklein907
Birthdays are about celebrating the person. Although cake is the norm, we're not really celebrating him if we don't honor his preferences.
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@HannahDCox
@smalltownroger
I feel like you're both saying the same thing. I think
@smalltownroger
is saying that it's important to support daughters to make their own decisions.
And you're saying supported girls make good choices with regards to men.
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@eternaldroplets
I always love these stories too!
For me, they allude to an underlying structure of reality. Although this cannot be proven, stories such as this leave me in a state of wonderment and hope.
Great post!
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@drawandstrike
To quote Ayn Rand:
"You can deny reality, but you can't deny the effects of denying reality."
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@flybottlemist
Many people don't understand that someone can feel attracted, or even aroused.. and not do anything with it.
All kinds of plutonic touch are forbidden because - oh dear - someone may feel a little something.
Hormones arise, the feelings stay a bit, and then they disappear.
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You don't need empathy to have a just society. You need justice to have a just society.
If a person's empathy isn't inclusive enough to honor everyone's need for justice, order, and structure, it devolves into ethnocentric tribalism or egocentric narcissism.
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Why take things personally?
Another person's mental model of you isn't you.
People assume their mental construct of someone is that person. This is akin to assuming an old map of a region is the region. The map isn't the territory.
You're not their thoughts of you.
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@univrsw3th4rt
Form follows function.
It depends on the function. A gymnast is going to look radically different than an NFL player, which will look different than a power lifter.
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@SchrodingrsBrat
Friends first is a great start. It lets us see if we even like the person, and gives time for things to organically unfold.
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@llirumboy
@Kadiquart
Freezing the assets of a company because of the actions of another company is most certainly illegal.
The Brazilian constitution has laws around censorship, which were broken by the government.
Look it up.
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@unusual_whales
43% increase doesn't tell us anything.
50% more than 2 is 3.
I watch for the use of percentage statistics without magnitude numbers, especially on negative news.
Making something benign look like a catastrophe is good click-bate.
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@andre_nakahama
@Kadiquart
Just going to leave this right here:
@M_David_Osborne
@Kadiquart
Yes, confirmed. Alexandre run over the Constitution, and is ruling the country by himself. There are no more laws, and everyone asking for the Constitution to prevail is jailed, censored or fined. I am a Brazilian and i am tweeting using Starlink.
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@nomanautomata
Maybe I'm wired differently, but being seen makes me feel safe.
In being seen, the other is interpreting my motivations properly. This means:
- Evaluations are accurate
- Feedback can be used for growth
- Decisions on how to proceed are the right one for them.
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@RevSarahLocke
You actually don't get to choose what's right for two consenting adults. The only people who gets to make that choice are the people involved.
You're not there to provide your opinion, you're there to provide a service.
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@DurdenLeodad
@PicturesFoIder
I do C because it saves a step over A, and is faster than B for me because of where I keep the toothpaste and toothbrush in relation to the sink. 🤷
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@andre_nakahama
@Kadiquart
People are allowed to have opinions.
If you have a problem with that, perhaps you and Alexandre have something in common.
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@CitizenFreePres
My question is: Why are they still giving her air time? She holds no office, and hasn't for 7+ years.
Her viewpoints aren't interesting - they're not unique or new. She adds nothing to the conversation.
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@SarahAn15847342
@ellegist
Is that what every disagreement is? Doesn't she want him to think differently too?
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Whether it’s Galileo, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, or Jesus, great creators are constantly at odds with their “community” and society.
To create, people must have freedom; they’re stepping outside the norm to produce something new - a book, artifact, or invention.
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@PVZgirl98
@ellegist
It says unequivocally "I don't want this person in my life. That's a boundary.
Each person makes choices that make sense for them. She made a choice that made sense for her, now he's making a choice that makes sense for him.
While I think it's extreme, who am I to judge?
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@sporadicalia
All indications point to this not being the case; that they actually used her voice, with some modifications.
Sam and others tweeting "Her."
OpenAI reaching out again to see if Scarlet would reconsider having her voice used.
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@TPostMillennial
Up next: Jonah Goldberg's masterclass on how to hide elitist ideology behind flowery language.
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@dissproportion
@LegoRacers2
@eigenrobot
... And chisel the prescription with your signature on this stone tablet I carry for such an occasion.
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@ItsMrsRabbitToU
People. Are. Not. Fungible.
A random person in a group cannot be swapped with another. People are not like dollars or TVs.
People aren't objects at all.
HTH.
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@BronskiJoseph
@datepsych
It's an act of sheer hubris to assume that someone can know what's best for another; doubly so if they don't even know each other.
Rejection isn't personal - it simply means that one person thinks the offer isn't a good fit, for whatever reason.
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@keysmashbandit
As long as boundaries are honored, what's the problem?
The "bad person" narrative falls apart with a modicum of scrutiny.
What if he's attracted to you but doesn't tell you?
- "That's OK" --> Then you're penalizing him for honesty.
- "Not OK" --> Then he just won't tell you.
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@frozenaesthetic
We need to normalize things like this.
Why on earth would anyone treat a minor inconvenience as more meaningful than their partner's emotional well-being?
How evocative this is points to how rarely we're treated with kindness when we make a mistake. 🥹
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@G_S_Bhogal
@amnesty
If you can simply opt out of oppression by saying a few words...
It's not oppression.
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@IsaacKing314
So much soul-sucking discipline of children really boils down to "because I said so."
They only exist to teach obedience.
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@browseaccount22
@ellegist
I agree with that. My read was that he was trying to figure out what to do.
My problem was with the OP conflating losing trust with abuse.
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@0rang3youglad
If we normalized this (hit on/rejected) process we'd come to realize it's nbd.
The problems happen when:
- Guy gets rejected and gets angry/hostile.
- Women rejects guy with nasty insult.
Guys get scared to approach, and women are scared to be approached.
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@DAaronovitch
People get angry at injustice, perceived or actual.
Giving tiny prison sentences for heinous crimes while giving egregious sentences for people who say mean words seems like an injustice.
Maybe the government's behavior is the problem, not Elon.
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@townhallcom
And that's why the word illegal is an adverb and not an adjective. It is a modifier of an action, not an object.
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@wrong_speak
It's infinitely better to pay $4.36 for eggs than to have no eggs.
Price fixing will just create a black market, where the scarce good is available at a higher price. The effect will be people who don't eat eggs will buy eggs to sell on the black market to those with more money.
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@nosilverv
At a minimum, it reeks of narcissism. The other person is an experience to consume instead of a person to love.
But BPD may be a better reason.
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@KissMeInThe_Am
It's called manipulating other people to spend their time and effort on you without consideration regard for them.
It's called being a narcissist. 🤷
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Rocks to Stones
People often admire the beauty of polished stones, surprised at how simple the polishing process is.
For those who don’t know, the polishing process looks like this: Rocks are placed in a tumbler with sand and water. From there, the tumbler rolls around, with
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@AskYatharth
Because highly sensitive people dearly need to make sense of the world; to find a way of being that doesn't tear them to shreds.
Adaptation for survival.
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@BronskiJoseph
@datepsych
You *must* be a troll.
Your opinion of me is irrelevant. Have you ever considered getting off your computer and returning to the 17th century where you belong?
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@amytheartist
You hit the nail on the head. The "I don't owe you anything" is often a way to deny accountability. The result is a lack of hope/meaning & lack of trust.
There's little sense in building something if it can be thrown in the trash at a whim.
A solution is verbal agreements.
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@gatx_negrx
There is a very real and very destructive segment of the population preaching "I don't owe you anything!" as if it's entirely OK to break agreements
It destroys trust and is incredibly unfair.
I wrote a lengthy rant about this the other day:
Ranty post incoming!
Trust is at an all time low, and here's why:
While nobody wants to feel overly obligated, agreements (saying 'Yes') creates expectations with the others. Those hearing a "yes" will then plan their time around an activity, losing that time and the
7
32
248
0
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@NikkiHaley
@VivekGRamaswamy
Attack the idea, not the person. As a former UN Ambassador, you really should know better than this.
Our choices aren't getting the results we want - doubling down on them sure won't. We need to try something new to get a better outcome.
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@GRITCULT
Therapy isn't suppose to make you feel better. It's suppose to make you be better.
See the world more clearly, make better decisions, etc. Feeling better is a side effect of being better.
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@grantbels
Entropy is always and forever tearing us to shreds. It's through the constant effort of our cells and tissues we don't dissolve back into dust in a matter of days.
We take this for granted, focusing instead on what we should eat for lunch, or our outrage at a person's post.
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@jasondebolt
Information that frames them in a poor light is what "misinformation" means.
That's exactly what they're "calling out", too. Facts and injustices that are inconvenient to their narrative.
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@PicturesFoIder
Unusual take:
She'd likely be a different person without that experience - someone he may not have fallen in love with.
While it's incredibly disrespectful, the question is... why did this guy mean so much to her. It could be as simple as she thought the name was really cool...
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@ziademarcus
@keysmashbandit
Stringing him along (to the guy):
- What expectations did you have?
- Why do you have them?
If she said "let's get together" and she ghosts, that's on her.
If she's says "let's be friends" you get to choose what to do from there.
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@addictedtoNoirD
@justinhorowitz_
Thanks! I've read a ton of book on psychology, sociology, spirituality and philosophy.
The idea above is my own, though. We don't take historical context into consideration near enough, and there were constraints we had to live with for millennia that don't hold true anymore.
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Mom passed sometime over the last 24-48 hours.
I was planning on seeing her today.
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@TRHLofficial
Found this gem of a word in my travels...
Compersion : The sympathetic joy we feel for somebody else, even when their positive experience does not involve or benefit us directly.
Antonyms : jealousy, possessiveness
More joy in the world is a good thing, even it's not my joy.
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5
50
@SalomeSibonex
You don't know if someone is principle driven until that principle would require them to disagree with their subculture.
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@pbprot
The problem is trust.
Our social agreements have been demolished, This results in every date is an opening to get hurt - if not physically, emotionally.
Is she just using me for dinner? Is he lying about his job? Will they ghost me for no reason? Will they respect ‘no’?
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@TheFIREorg
I would urge
@TheFIREorg
(whom I often agree with) to familiarize themselves with what may be in each book before forming an opinion. Some books may be ok, others not so much.
If pictures are considered R or X rated, should they be available to school children for consumption?
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@axel7772_
Why do I get the feeling that the sun itself is being pulled along by something far larger...
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@Aella_Girl
- Make agreements to find the win-win.
- Do your best to honor those agreements.
- If your needs change, work to change the agreements before throwing away the relationship.
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@Fleechiru
One of my favorite books, the bad guy turns the moon green - as a chilling reminder to those that oppose him nothing is out of his grasp.
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@FondOfBeetles
JFC. 🤦
People. Are. Not. Fungible.
A random person in a group cannot be swapped with another. People are not like dollars or TVs.
People aren't objects at all.
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@SwipeWright
Free speech is a shit show, full of people being wrong, misguided, unsure, shifting views.
Historically, we've been wrong a lot. Without freedom to speak, we'd stay wrong.
Here's a short list of things we've been wrong about:
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@Crazymoments01
@MattWallace888
First off, not surprised nobody helped him.
About the end: Narcissist with an empath. All too frequent. 😦
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@ChaiTeaKitten
People seem to treat every relationship in their life as disposable; the end result is what we're seeing today - a severe lack of trust in even trying to form deeper connections.
We act like we're transcendent, but we're really tearing each other apart.
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@BuenoForMiami
I think this stems from the confusion between rights and privileges. We demand rights, we ask for privileges. This is a result of people misusing the word "right" for the last 20 years.
People think in words, so errors in definitions lead to errors in viewpoints and decisions.
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@womenoptionswin
Have you considered the effects this would have though?
These high value individuals are the ones that invest in startups. Startup takes off and suddenly there's a tax bill for $20 Million.
Something is going to get liquidated to pay that $20 Million. What? Probably a startup.
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@LibertyCappy
Some people learn from other peoples mistakes.
The rest of us happen to be the other people. 😂😭
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@the_wilderless
Expectations of outcome inform every decision we make - from eating the sandwich instead of the rock, to who we date and what we do.
Even the idea that we shouldn't have expectations comes from the expectation that not having expectations is better than having expectations. 🤣
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@DrJBhattacharya
Freedom of speech is needed to take effective action.
To make good decisions, we need to evaluate all the information available.
By subverting this process, censorship undermines decision making and causes us to make less effective choices.
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@aero_wulf
Shame, outrage, and shunning worked to change behavior when we were a homogeneous society.
People no longer have to tolerate dogmatic ideology on how to live - they find a subculture that welcomes their choices.
Your thoughts over another's actions have no power anymore.
2
3
40
@TRHLofficial
In no point in the history of "calm down" has "calm down" ever calmed somebody down.
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@ginamartinuk
People. are. not.fungible.
Holding one person responsible for another's actions is an injustice.
You are perpetuating an injustice by this nonsensical chain of causality. In it, you're completely neglecting personal agency.
You are actively creating division. You..
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