Mike Provencher
@MTG_Scribe
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616
Following
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Media
1,551
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Any/Any. Official Twitter account of , a website dedicated to providing a centralized location for news about Magic: The Gathering
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Joined April 2009
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I’ve created to be an easy way for the Magic Community to keep track of news, annoucements, and events. Check it out if that sounds interesting or useful to you!
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@imaginmatrix
A friend of mine rented this game for a month and a half before he finally beat it. When I asked him how it was, he said he loved it but that it was "way too hard". I found out later he didn't know you could use items.
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@Swordsfall1
People are often scared when they see a bear in the wild, but bears rarely actually attack people. Bears are mostly nice animals and people tend to lie about bears attacking them. Besides, if you saw a bear's thick teeth you'd change your mind and want to be eaten. Gumdrop.
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@WBlakeKimber
She also single-handedly pulled an abused woman out of a toxic relationship into a loving one. So that helps.
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@heyhautestuff
We had to do this once when I worked in a movie theater in 2001. There was a *lot* of fucking.
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@DailyMailUK
This is why women are completely justified in treating all men like they might be dangerous. Enough of them are that they have to assume for their own safety.
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@justinboldaji
My 6th grade Home Room teacher had a deal where if you do all of your homework for 14 straight days, for every class, and get it signed off by every teacher, she would buy you McDonald's for lunch. I did it, and when I showed her she said, "Yeah, this deal isn't for you."
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@TheBlackNerd
When I worked at a movie theater, we walked into the bathroom while a 20 year old was masturbating into a urinal. When he realized we were there he burst into tears, fell to his knees, and *begged* us not to tell his friends because, "I can't move to a new city again!"
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@ConSelfOwns
"The proof that vaccines don't do what the government says they do is that they do what the government says they do" is a pretty wild take.
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@heyhautestuff
The only thing I'll say is that all of the walkie-talkie antenna were replaced the following day.
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@lilcheeptweets
@Robo_Nixon
@primediscussion
@DorothyMcPher17
@fawfulfan
I have one. I can get SUPER close to drive up ATMs without scraping my side view mirror. But I'm not in it for the fame.
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@DreamSong77
I'm willing to work a job I don't like to live a life I love. I'm not willing to work a job I don't like to scrape together a life I don't hate.
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@Curtis_Cook
Honestly, politics over the last five years did the same thing for espionage movies. "We've got the President on tape and it's going to bring everything down!"
Me: It sure won't.
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@KaraLashbaugh
The worst part about this is everything, but also the worst part is that he thinks so little of women he feels like he needs to restate a slightly worse version of the exact situation with the gender's reversed for women to be able to understand what he's going through.
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718
Thinking Eddie Kingston doesn't deserve to win a world title is a red flag.
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@charlottejee
@TheJonesy313
Proposal: commenting on your voice assistant's visual appearance or in any sexual way should result in a long, exasperated sigh that lasts for an exponentially Increasing amount of time the more you do it.
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@LaurenWalshArt
The crazy part is that even though you can't see them, you know his feet are way more fucked up than anything going on this picture.
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@Devin39500026
@jakecoco
Nah, she's trying to text via Microsoft Excel she's not actually trying to work on anything.
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@neilhimself
My 5 year old son talks in his sleep all the time. Sometimes it's, "Hahaha, hippo is a funny word". But most of the time it's, "I hate when the sun is in my eyes. I'm going to destroy it", or, "I want to bring down the moon. It's too smug."
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@RexChapman
@KwesiW1
I'm not a violent man, and I'm very slow to anger, but if someone jabbed my son in the face with a pole there is a 100% chance I'd be going to jail.
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@scenesaw
@meowxshall
Jesus, that reaction might be the sexiest thing I've ever seen in my life.
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@afraidofwasps
Oh no, he's standing straight up but so is she and her arm at that angle resting on a railing means she has all the support. I think we all know that means the boat crashed into you and everyone is a ghost now I'm so sorry.
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@imaginmatrix
"My name is..." gets all the press, but "I want my father back, you son of a bitch." is maybe the greatest line and delivery in movie history.
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@bethmayashley
Yep. I've literally heard a cop say to a friend of mine, "Look, he already apologized, what more do you want? If you pursue this any further, how do you think it's going to make you look?"
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@CedricAPhillips
In MTG terms: Drake said, "You're Esper Midrange and I'm Hogaak" to which Kendrick replied, "You're a fucking pedophile."
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@MrAlexisPereira
Assign an essay where your class has to break down a cartoon from a critical standpoint the same they would with literature. If this student turns in an essay on The Great Gatsby they're a genius.
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@MikeyRukus
@MadKing1981
Eddie Kingston was that kid in school you were terrified of, but if he came across popular kids harassing you after school he'd run them off with a stick. Then when you tried to thank him he'd make like he was going to hit you and tell you to "Get the fuck out of here".
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@biggblue2020
@TheGlare_TM
@nypost
Thinking a 1 year old can't pick up a pencil is a good way to get stabbed by a baby.
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@imaginmatrix
To this day it's the wildest thing I've ever heard about anyone doing. He'd never played an RPG before but loved Disney, so I guess it just never occurred to him.
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@kendallbaker
The people that will suffer the most from this are the children of divorced parents where at least one of them is low-income.
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@TheLastStawp
@CGGuy44
@NatashaHodgson
While what you're saying is technically correct, you're missing the point by a wide margin. There are enough men who DO react like this, largely in private, that women are forced to assume any man MIGHT react like this and are forced to act as if every man WILL react like this.
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@gothspiderbitch
@LumpyTheCook
Wait I thought Little Shop Of Horrors was about the evils of dentistry?
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@___inCANdescent
@Veeren_Jubbal
I at least respect the early 2000's music guy. I mean, he's wrong, but that's the right kind of controversial opinion.
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@ask_aubry
A fun through-line of these kinds of posts is that whenever they insist that women only care about dick size, you instantly know they've never once had an open and honest conversation about what women like about sex with an actual woman.
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@kathbarbadoro
If a cable guy came to your house and took his dick out, he wouldn't be allowed to be a cable guy any more. I honestly do not understand how this is different.
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@amandaasette
@ayyditullio
All women know it's not all men that are bad. But all women also know how rounding rules work, and they're sure as hell not about to round to 0.
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@weskrantz
@EffingBoring
I mean, LaBeouf and Megan Fox boned on top of a living one while the rest of their robot friends stood in a circle and watched. So I think anything is fair game at this point.
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This is the first wrestling related shirt my son, Owen, has ever asked for. He's decided
@annajay___
and
@TayConti_
are his favorites.
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@TandyMTG
I just looked it up, and Marc's last round opponent was Jim Davis...who qualified for PT:MH3 with that win.
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@Alyssa_Milano
Please try saying the following, "The marginalized people I am fighting for said my Tweet was distasteful or even offensive to them. I apologize for what I now see as my well intentioned failure. I will continue to fight and I will always strive to be better than I was yesterday"
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@SeanRossSapp
Dom should lose the title match tomorrow and then Rhea should go win it the following week.
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@WomenOccupyHwd
I'm happy for her success, but this doesn't sound like a celebratory story to me. This sounds like a "Look at the fucked up thing a Woman was forced to do just to get noticed in a Male dominated field" story. It's pretty disgraceful and a while lot of people should be ashamed.
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@IGN
It's Thanos. It was Thanos' fault. Everyone else tried their best to stop him and failed for different reasons, but they were trying to stop him from doing the thing he was actively trying to do.
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@exaltedmoon28
That was the most realistic depiction of one person seeing another person die not just in front of them but because of them that I've ever seen. He was in shock and just completely shut down.
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@bleeinternets
@ManuclearBomb
There's an incredible callback to this joke in one of the later seasons, where Homer helps deliver a baby in an elevator and the woman actually names the baby "Homer Junior". Homer, naturally, calls the baby Hoju.
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@9_volt_
The fact that even in this insane scenario Peach *still* makes less than her male counterpart is going to be the death of me.
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@kingmxyi
Step one of how to be an alpha male: Give me $20
Step two of how to be an alpha male: Never give anyone anything.
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@Devin39500026
@jakecoco
She just typed some words into a blank Excel document. That message isn't for anyone.
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@motelsonthemoon
@lizzylynngarcia
Antagonist my ass. She's clearly a horror movie protagonist at the point in the movie where she starts to take back her power.
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@nonagondice
This seems like an incredibly fair breakdown. The criticism is so gentle, in good faith, and constructive that if you're mad about it you need to ask yourself what criticism needs to look like for you to be okay with it. Because I have a hard time believing it's more than none.
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@MTGNerdGirl
@AliasVEDH
@thespikefeeders
@ScrybabiesMTG
@commandcast
@MTGMuddstah
I can't understand why you don't simply leave the unedited footage out overnight with some milk and cookies and let the magical internet gnomes do it for you.
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@CathyYan
@josswheelin
Huntress practicing into the mirror was great. Her saying it later with the with the audience knowing she was nervousabout it was amazing. MEW's subtle nervous acting was fantastic. But the other characters not noticing and instead commenting on how badass she is was genius.
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@BadMedicalTakes
Well I, for one, am shocked that it would be more ambiguous on a man. Positively *shocked*.
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You can tell it's an April Fools joke because there are two women.
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@otdderamin
Honestly the most adorable thing in the world is when one of them is watching the other one do something. They each have an amazing sense of awe and wonderment regarding the other one.
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@Devin39500026
@jakecoco
Even in 2002 people knew how to make it look like a real text was sent by sending a real text. Microsoft Excel had to of been an intentional choice. She's not sending that message to her man, she just wants to feel like she tried.
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@michaelharriot
Normally I really like your Tweets, but this one...I just don't understand why you'd send out a blank Tweet?
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@Takesoup
"May I have some sugar?" or "Can I have the sugar?" are both acceptable. "Give me some sugar?" can sometimes mean "Kiss me."
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@JennyENicholson
When I was in 6th grade I got home from school one day to an empty house, and didn't have the key. So, naturally, I kicked the door down. About six seconds before my father pulled into the driveway. What I'm saying is the Rock and I are basically the same person.
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@Lapsed_hipster
The lock is there because studies have shown that without it the yolk will sometimes escape and come out before you're ready to let it.
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@benFranklin2018
Wait so good people don't have to just stand around and watch bad people do bad things? Wild.
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@LegalEagle
When your defense is "You can't look into this" rather than "My client didn't do anything wrong" it's...not a great look.
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@MattMarie777
@Skinnytiedcpa
@hitRECordJoe
@SamiZayn
@FightOwensFight
I'm pretty sure it was Tijuana, specifically.
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@SmithyPhox
How could the Snyder Cut scene be the best when Joker doesn't even bring up his missing electric car?
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@JacobOller
This movie is infinitely better if you pretend it's an elaborate anti-jaywalking PSA.
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@CriticalRole
Everyone complaining about loose ends not being tied up are going to look real silly when this campaign ends with Caleb going back in time to stop himself from killing his parents, and C3 is the same characters in an alt timeline.
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@_IDontRead
@Stevesie87
@JordanUhl
I've never looked at this and not read it as "Don't Dead Open Inside".
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@michaelharriot
Well, to be fair they had such iron-clad evidence as "Someone walked by and said he probably did it" and "He had a dollar bill on him". Innocent people don't carry dollar bills. Obviously.
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@flopperdog
@TheBlackNerd
Let me tell you, however gross you *think* that is? You're underestimating it.
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@ask_aubry
"I am really a sincere supporter of women's equality, but I am not a supporter of women doing whatever they'd like to."
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@rachelmillman
I did not like him and then I watched him for seven hours because that's how TikTok and ADHD works together and now I love him. I think I have Stockholm Syndrome.
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@MonarchFisher
It's really disheartening how many of them are "They're a buisness and we're customers so they owe us more!" about it.
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@erikaishii
It is my fervent hope that at some point a rich politician is going to read a study like this and think to themselves, "Wait...is being poor bad for people!?"
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@Brashnir
@GothamChess
Chessica would be a terrible name all through high school, would be amazing through your 30's, and from 40+ it would go "HI I'm Chessica." "Jessica?" "Yeah, sure."
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@CeeHawk
I'm sure someone will tell him so he can change it to something innocent like "xHamster". I'm sure that's probably fine.
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@DailyMailUK
To anyone in my mentions who honestly does not understand, please ask the women in your life if Male strangers have ever made them feel unsafe. Don't talk, just listen. Maybe you'll find this isn't true for the women around you. Or maybe you'll gain a new perspective.
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@thedudeUSA
@RexChapman
He literally isn't. You can clearly see his left hand is holding the clip and his right hand is empty. Fun Fact: You can't shoot someone with just the clip.
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81
Vote, obviously. But maybe even more importantly loudly demand ranked-choice voting and campaign finance reform. Voting is a band-aid and will never fix the system. So start changing the system.
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@PleasantKenobi
"The way to fix this broken card is to auto-concede any time it shows up" is a pretty wild take.
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84
It's incredibly funny to me how many people are trying to discredit the KENTA thing because "casual" fans won't know who he is, while at the same time my timeline is filled with people who have never heard of Maki Itoh and are incredibly interested in finding out more about her.
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15
81
@LinzDeFranco
I had this one with my four year old tonight...
Owen: "What are these" *A bottle of Tums*
Me: "Let's try to read it. What is the first letter?"
Owen: "I don't know, a B? Look, I don't actually care I want a popsicle instead anyway."
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5
81
@hEnereyG
@porksweats1
Is it worse if he ordered the potato as an entree or if it's an appetizer?
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74
Look, all I want is Batwoman written by
@GailSimone
, with art by
@stjepansejic
. And for it to be so popular it gets a movie adaptation written by
@emtothea
and directed by
@Lexialex
. Is that too much to ask for?
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