Good morning Engineers Board of Kenya.
Good news, another country just accepted my application for registration.
I am an Engineer in 3 countries but not in the nation that SEND me to Uni at 19 to study COMP SC & ENG then fucking said I wasn't qualified 4y later. 🖕
"Kuchunga Ng'ombe" means herding cows in a grass lane between two unfenced maize plantations. Kaz ni kushout "Weee, Leel Kiina..." the whole day and there is always that one cow that knows when you are not looking.
Hii yako ni slayqueening.
Nairobi folks (89% literacy) elected Mike Sonko; a self-declared professional jailbird.
West Pokot (> 20% literacy) residents elected Loyangapuo; a Professor of Applied Mathematics.
Literacy is overrated.
I grew up next to a government forest and people from my village would be allocated land inside the forest to grow food while tending to tree seedlings. The forest flourished and the villagers earned a living.
Growing potatoes & beans under cedar trees doesn't affect the forest
Little kawaida racism at the mall this evening. Got told to jump on a boat back to my own country. "Ship, ma'am", I responded, smiling, "I would need to jump on a ship to get to my country".
She huffed off to giggles from the people queuing at the till. Hautaniharibia siku.
Lmao, watu wa Australia wanawika vile Njugush sio mfunny. I'm glad I slept like a mburukenge. 😂
Making 30 sec clips and being funny for 2 hours are 2 different things. 😂
Hapo 2001 curiosity ilifanya niulize my mum why about 7 of her cousins had the same first and middle names. I was sharply told to mind my own bizness.
Learned later that they had used 1 cert to get into KPTC, KCB, NSSF, Posta, KGGCU, and Police.
Kibaki saved Kenya.
Nigerian 1st Gen Techies: We've negotiated with Microsoft; happy to say that students can take these (+30) Microsoft courses for free.
Kenyan 1st Gen Techies: Y'all, we're hanging out with Jack Dorsey! Sweet AF. Sorry not sorry you ain't here.
One continent, two mindsets.
Every Kalenjin Dad when you've got to go somewhere. "Okonuu chaik kenamee Sang. Kakobaa saisiek".
2 minutes later: "Kanee lagochuu ekai, bato mnapanya nini Cherotich..!?"
But childish curiosity is amazing. I remember when the atlas was my favourite book. I would spend hours on it. Cramming all capital cities etc.
What happens to our minds when we grow up?
A Kenyan became the Federal Senator representing Southern Australia. We exploded with joy.
{Then}: She was anti-immigrant.
{Then}: She flew her family on government money.
{Finally}: She lost her seat; her daughter died, and she could not afford to repatriate her to KE.
A Kenyan Story:
1. Idea.
2. Business Plan.
3. Pursue Investment.
4. Put in 5 years sweat.
6. Brilliant success. Employ 1K+
7. Make a billion shillings profit.
8. Matiang'i.
9. KRA.
10. Cease operations.
12. Fire employees.
11. Get deported.
12. MatBet launches soon.
Talking of Eldoret Sacco Shuttle, I once had to take over the driving through that rainy, misty cloudy Nyaru section after the driver had an insane bout of diarrhoea midway. Dropped him at MTRH emergency before proceeding to their stage.
Eldi huwa dramatic.
@Makiadi_
🤣
My mum used to take us to The ASK Eldoret Show and after dropping us to roam around, would go sit the whole day listening to Pastor Joel Kimetto.
I'm so glad to meet him finally.
All our ideas for the Kenyan market will always be based in Delaware, United States until the Kenyan government decides to be sensible and forward-thinking. You can also try Estonia's digital citizenship. Don't wait for Kenya to catch up with you!
Some countries, whose citizens can barely speak English, have negotiated with Australia to have English level requirements for students / expatriates removed.
Kenyans speak the best English, tbh. We still do an English exam which expires in 2 years.
It is a diplomacy failure.
I am a proud Kalenjin but this is absolutely not how a university should be led.
It doesn't auger well for my community, the nation, the world and especially the students who will pass through these hallowed academic grounds.
People on Twitter are disgusted at the number of CASs and their impact on the wage bill.
People on Facebook are celebrating and congratulating their village mates who got appointed.
It is like they live in two different Kenya. 😂
African students face hell in the west.
Wherever you're, look for Kenyan/African students and form communities. Visit, cook, pray, sing or just stay together. Keep warm.
The coldness of the western society wasn't made for us.
Your varsity doesn't give two fucks about you.
Daniel Kapkorios Toroitich Arap Moi remains undefeated in keeping perfectly in step while inspecting military guards of honour. He could even change to slow match perfectly as the band transitioned to slower beats.
Kibaki was terrible at it, understandably so.
My niece is a photocopy of my mum. I will be so thrilled when she arrives later today in Perth, Western Australia.
Eldoret Crossroads 🚌- Emirates ✈️ - Perth ✈️.
Mosop Boarding School in Nandi County was famed for corporal punishment. My cousins wouldn't speak Kalenjin at home because waliambiwa that a bird would listen and report them.
Opening day wanatandikwa randomly just to reinforce the myth.
Ban Boarding Schools.
There is no excuse for those CAS positions. If you support the administration blindly, then do so unabashedly, don't insult our intelligence by trying to explain it.
It is a resource grab for political expediency. End of story.
But mkienda kufanya antisocial behaviours stop dragging a whole tribe into your shenanigans. Ati "Do you know Kalenjins".
Sema "Do you know Cheptoo lakwetab Chofrii Sambu nebo Kondab Ileet".
Quintessential Nandi County shopping centres. Funniest thing: Hotelkeepers shut down their shops and go home for lunch between 12:30 - 1:30 then come back to continue selling tea and mandazi. 🤣
FYI, you can run a solid business without: 1. An app. 2. AI & ML 3. Data Analytics.
Traditional truckers are buying more Mercedes Actros while you spend 2 million dollars per annum on AWS running useless algorithms.
Ask these guys how they've been on the road for 70 years.
LinkedIn / CV - Lies.
Github / Portfolio - Plagiarised.
Github Contrib: Automated.
University / College Certs - Harambee.
The Truth: Here is a computer. You have 4 hours to build a flask/fast API/Django application to _______. You can access the internet; FYI screen is recorded.
Indian Guy: Welcome to Zero to Hero in Data Science. I'll cover everything from intro to python to data modelling, forecasting, visualisation and Machine Learning. All free on YouTube.
Kenyan Guy: Welcome to hello_world.py, my PayBill is 324567.
Ey, brother Bernard. 🫡
You will never see a Space / Exhibition about permaculture, regeneretive agriculture, water conservation, community farms, organic farming because your fave "Digital Farmers" earn rent from agrochemems poisoning your lands.
Onyancha killed 5 people? And we were so shocked? I don't see the same shock at the murder of nearly 50 people by a religious serial killer. We must face this madness called religion head-on.
Kenya is about to have a conversation about churches by fire by force which the country's leadership has been avoiding for decades. If a serial killer had killed the 47 people the uproar that would be in this country.
Don't let the Prince William cheating story distract you from the fact that our sister Meghan is about to give birth to Sir T’Challa of Sussex, First of His Name, visiting Prince of the UK, and Protector of the Wakandan realm. 🤰🏿👶🏿👑
How cool is this 👇 You can scan your Docker images for vulnerabilities using Docker Desktop. Links to CVE databases and shows severity levels. Brilliant
@Docker
The people who have destroyed Kenyan forests aren't the peasant farmers who live next to them. They're millionaires from the concrete jungles.
If people who live next to the forests can't utilise them productively, perhaps they should burn them down.
Lmao, drama za 254.
Allegedly, Kabarak University has suspended its ICT Manager because of the Facebook hack? Imagine being suspended because some junior Social Media personnel clicked a porn link.
Also, social media is marketing, not ICT.
This young techie studying Software Engineering comes to see me for a tête-à-tête about his options and finds me installing RAM and SSD modules on a friend's laptop.
"Kazi kama hii sifanyi mimi", he declares.
Had to start the conversation with attitude adjustment.
This is Mwale Medical & Technology City built at the center of Kakamega county by the lead investor billionaire Julius Mwale and 800 other investors.
This city hosts families who work for and have partnered with the city.
It has World class cancer and emergency center,
🧵
Brilliant! To ensure that the proposed law does not discriminate, women should also publicly declare the biological fathers of their kids and submit them for a DNA analysis. Guys be bringing up Fulani kids talking about "Junior". Let's fix our nation.
Lmao, I sent 100$ to this guy by mistake. The casual worker I was paying gave me the wrong number.
Called this guy and he was like "Ndugu niwachie tu, ni Mungu. Itanisaidia na utabarikiwa".
Funny guy, I let him keep it.
I learned to speak and read the Nandi language before Kiswahili and English. I am sure the quality of my enunciation of the words of my mother tongue has depreciated over the years due to the overuse of foreign languages. Still, I am proud.
Gen Z wamefika down-under wanapeana all our tricks live on TikTok.
MOFOs be like "I am a student but I work 80 hours a fortnight. Here is how you can do it..."
Hawa watamalizwa mapema.
Tech Bro acing the Gig Economy: I'd rather work on a 6 weeks Flutter project for 2000$ instead of a week-long 1500$ WordPress project because I am a developer and I don't do WordPress.
No cash is stamped with the famous "Powered by Wordpress" phrase.
Anyone can become a CTO at 28. There is no exam that you have to pass to become one. Find 2 friends, create a briefcase concern and appoint each other CEO, CTO and CFO.
The one who usually buys more drinks is the CEO, the miser CFO and you become CTO.
In the first ceremony of its kind outside Kenya, our Kitwek Association President Steve Sitienei was installed as a Kalenjin Elder in Perth, Western Australia. Extremely proud of my community.
I underwent a 4 hour surgery today to repair tendon/nerve damage. Checked in yesterday, back home today. More discomfort in my throat, where an apparatus to pump oxygen into my lungs sat, than the fingers. The surgeons disabled nerves on my wrist.
Science, man. 🔥❤️
Your rudimentary IP masking and 10 $ pm VPNs will NOT protect you when the might of US agencies zeroes in on you.
1. Read the terms of your VPN providers: they'll rat you out
2. They keep logs. Google it.
3. FBI worms lurk in those "private" nodes sniffing around.