SirJester
@JesterSirr
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キャンペーン開催中
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U STEAL MY HEART 1STMEET
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LINGORM CHEFPOM
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#CDTVライブライブ
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高市さん
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#海のはじまり
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iPhone16
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ジャミル
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くつろぎマイルーム
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SB19 PODCAST SPECIAL EPISODE
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Pinned Tweet
Italian farmhouse architecture has me in a chokehold. Simple yet elegant.
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Nairobi might get all the attention, but the one town that truly scares me is Eldoret. Their anger there is unlike anywhere else. It's different.
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I pray Moses K Kuria starts running his mouth,we want entertainment.
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At this point, purchasing menswear from Zara, Old Navy, H&M, and ASOS is more affordable than buying from Kenya online thrift shops,camera mafi ya kuku.
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What Vera Sidika she's going through it's what most women go through at the ages of 27 -33 after realization sinks in, now she is trading her ‘party years’ short-term protocols for a long-term provisioning strategy,give her 2yrs tops before she surrenders her life to Christ.
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For 7500ksh I hope kuna more food chini ya that foil paper.
This platter 🥰🥰🥹🥹.. you can get it at Shabz Grill Westlands, Muthithi Road, opposite Las vegas Casino…
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Let me enjoy my soup before another "Kairo" starts with their all-around expert opinions about how my soup didn't boil to a precise temperature or the water used didn't flow through sedimentary rocks for the best purification hence used to make the best bone soup.
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Kenya unaweza kuwa kwa coma for 20yrs ukiamka the reggae playlist ni ile ile ya 20yrs ago.
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One of my boys has finally been employed at KenGen. At first, I didn't believe it because he had been struggling to find a job the last 10 years,tried my best to hold him up those years. Dude had to send me his payslip to convince me that it was real. I'm so happy for my boy
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We urgently need the Coroner bill to be enacted. Additionally, we need to establish the Missing Person Database. Good people of Kenya, this is for your benefit.
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Western Kenya is like India. Uko civilization only exist within 300-meter radius from Kakamega town center point, beyond that is wild wild West.
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I've never seen anything like this. Gathering Kenyans to create such an audience is no easy task. The only people in Kenya who can pull such crowds are religious leaders & politicians,but even then, only when they are on their own turf. This is truly something remarkable.
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All I do is drink and know things...
Thank you
@DCI_Kenya
for your action. These culprits have been nabbed by the DCI who will give further details of their action. We are grateful for the continued partnership in securing our County. We've also agreed on decisive action to be taken after investigations into the Toi
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Women are natural smooth operators, see that mama at Ramzzy mention. I swear wanawake wangekuwa wanatupea mimba tungekuwa single mothers si sote. Mimi kwanza najua ningekuwa mumama blood fuckin with no shame
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My first "baby mama" namuona she is a big influencer on IG and she is married to a millionaire now,I'm just glad she made the right choice back then. Saa hii angekuwa lonely kwa nyumba za gava ata haina maji mimi niko bush nateseka.Holidays tukienda sana ni hapa Voi. Life!
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Whenever I attend a postmortem, I usually place two Dunhill Switch cigarette filters in my nostrils before putting on a mask. Before I learned this hack, it would take me 3-4 days before I could taste or smell anything.
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The problem is not with Airbnb; Kenyans are murderous. This week alone, I've collected 3 bodies. 3 hrs after I resumed from my day off,I was welcomed with the body of a 15yr old boy.Even before leaving Malindi mortuary, I was receiving phone calls to retrieve another body
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Spending 4500 on the SGR, enduring uncomfortable seats, and staring at a stranger for over 6 hours is absurd, while there is this alternative at half the cost and relish your own personal space.
The New SGR fares between Nairobi and Mombasa are now 4500Ksh for First Class and 1500Ksh for Economy.
Do you think this will make people resort back to taking buses as the SGR is not as economical anymore?
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Top secret ingredient of tumbukiza is that it must be prepared by a man.Kama si mwanaume si tamu.
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Let me emphasize again: Dreamline is the top VIP bus, especially the 10 PM service. Make sure to dress well; it’s fully air-conditioned.
People need to understand Modern Coast now is not the Modern Coast we knew.
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Lakini mwanaume aki-earn 100K per day ngozi na mwili itaonyesha tu.
Kenyan Tiktoker Brian Chira has revealed that he makes roughly 100K on a bad day from his live videos.
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These are the men you appoint as CS of defense. Anyway, what do I know?
PRESIDENT WILLIAM Ruto appoints former Chief of Defence Forces Gen Julius Karangi as Chancellor of Dedan Kimathi University of Technology for five years.
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Haki ya mungu Kenyans are a different breed, mnapenda kupea maafande pressure.😂
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We used to marry virgins, we downgraded to marrying women who are not virgins, then to marrying women with a child, now we proudly marry women with 5 children of different fathers.I'm also terrified as a Kenyan man, tufanye vipi?
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I’d choose this over running a matatu business any day, live a quiet life somewhere in Nanyuki, make friends with old money, travel the world, visit the best farmers from every corner of the world, learn more, and then invest back home.
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The Akasha's were different; most restaurants wld have never allowed the Akashas' & AP's entourage to dine together. In 2014, I was chilling at a top restaurant in Msa when some rich kid from Nanyuki managed to impress a girl the Akashas boys were interested in from AP's side.
The STORY of Ibrahim Akasha
How Akasha met his death leaving his sons & Saitoti named Dons to take over...
PART 2
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I hope China pulls a petty move and ban Kenyans from importing from China.Kieleweke.
Hundreds of traders hold demos in Nairobi’s central business district, citing infiltration of the Kenyan market by Chinese businesspeople
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I'll never understand rich folks, mtu ameniadd kwa group ya kuoffest the mothers bill of 600K, you own half of Utawala, that family has been super rich since 90s. Leo nachoma kwa hiyo group ata hivyo hakuna mahali tumesaidiana kwa maisha.Selfish pricks.
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I once suggested that we should establish a high school football league, similar to what the United States has done with basketball and American football, as well as South Africa with rugby. I believe that within two years, our football league will become truly remarkable.
How is that Musingu Vs Kakamega and St. Joseph's Vs St. Anthony's matches get to attract bigger crowds than even majority of KPL games? What is this being done right at Grassroots that can't be Replicated at the National Level?
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Ukifungua OF na uvae nguo za watoto washule then you target Japanese men utakafunga ajab.
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As soon as a man gets his money, his "hoe phase" begins; those two go in parallel. But the thing about you bitches, is wanting us to act right when our pool is now pulling women we could only dream of, not me though, mkae na hizo vijisifa zenu, kindness has never got me laid.
Love a nigga who outgrew their hoe phase & just wanna get money & love on they girl 😌 y'all the best fr 🫶🏾
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Buying a house for 750M in Muthaiga would be stupid. If I had that much money, I would spread it out by buying homes in Bristol, Liverpool, Durban, and Zanzibar
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Riggy G reminds me of John Michuki, kulambana matako hatambui.Hapa wanaume wataheshimiana na si tafadhali.
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Kalenjin men hate everything good in life si spices si cologne, ukiona mkale amejipiga marashi huyo amekaa Australia kiasi.
I really hate spices man. Bora food iko na kitunguu saumu, ginger, pilipili, onion, tomato, coriander na hoho..I am good to go. Hii ingne mtu anapika food adi inakua color ya rainbow hapana bana. Bloody
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In 2012, I pitched the idea to key stakeholders of forming a unit composed entirely of members from this community,much like how the Mormon produces exceptional CIA agents.There are certain things that are too complex to explain to ordinary folks.Pokots are born warriors.
Watu wanavaa ivi wanaeza raid aje camp ya jeshi,ama hao ni kina Dendrick wamelewa?😂
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You remind me of her, last time together we had mad fan at Tapas just two of us, dropped her home at 4am, then ghosted me for 10 months,out of the blues she invites me over to go see her new born baby, nimekipitia na city girls...
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It seems Meg Whitman shared some unexpected news with Baba. His sudden reaction to this turn of events is not typical.
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Only men without fathers or father figures in their life would be okay with their wives humiliating them like this. She misses her past, let her go back.
Mimi upige confession kama hii for clout utafika kwa nyumba jioni upate nilihamia Siberia
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I've seen a Kenyan Lady on TikTok who only posts her cooking for her husband. She doesn't even speak in her videos, it's just food & captions like 'my husband loves this' or 'my husband's favorite dish, is she real?huyo kesho akirudishwa soko by saa sita she will be off
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I was all alone in this Italian restaurant, quietly watching the Man- U game,now a group of elderly Italians have arrived,switched the sports channel to Serie A. Mimi mwenzenu sina nguvu. I have no option but to support Bologna just to annoy them.
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On my way home I discovered Senator Ledama Ole Kina's Enkanasa farm market, situated along Machakos Rd beyond Green Park,he offers Balqees honey,high-end wine, tomahawk steak,Italian bread with a shelf life of 6 months. The only thing I could afford there is a 500ml pack of milk.
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Former President Kibaki gave us 110% salary increment.He directed our salary to go through banks/saccos(Salary Accounts),if it was not for this man we won't be accessing unsecure loans up to 84months. RIP Kiongos.
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If the trouser has side adjusters why not!? I will lose my kitambi for these beltless trousers. Alafu hapo chini unamalizia na penny loafers safi sana🔥
These new city boys wear official shirts and trousers without belts. Who raised these kids?
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The next 5-6 weeks I foresee Nairobi city being hit by unusual series of robberies & crimes.
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Mimi nikikushow nataka kukupeleka dinner then the next question uniulize ati nakupeleka wapi? hiyo story tunamalizia hapo.Wacha ikae tu.
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The irony in reading this is that you're playing the victimhood, while your own community has, for the longest time, used derogatory terms such as 'nyewele ngumu,' .Tell me which village in Kenya has not embraced your community and I will delete my account for good.
The Islamophobia in Kenya is crazy bro why do y’all hate us like that buana. Why do you guys call us terrorists so casually and mud our religion so aggressively? Our religion rewards someone simply for smiling 🥹
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As a man, as you grow older, you'll come to understand your father, and you'll regret the moments you misunderstood him, especially when he needed you the most.Usisikize "We" your mom\sisters; go have that drink with your father & engage in that man-to-man conversation.
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Man Toro drip is hardly talked about, Old Fafa drip belonged to the GQ magazine.That man was unruly in suits.
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I can bet on my liver,Murkomen will receive an ambassador position in a country of his choosing.
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Kenyans should develop the habit of refusing entry to guests who show up to their events inappropriately dressed, as it is disrespectful.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing.
Proverbs 18.
Happy marriage DG
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If there's one thing I'll always remember about Uhuru Kenyatta, it's his decision to ban the adoption of Kenyan children by foreigners and make the adoption process more challenging than obtaining a US visa.
BREAKING: TEXAS FOSTER KIDS DISCOVERED BEING SOLD FOR COMMERCIAL SEX IN ST. LOUIS COUNTY
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Yule binti Mother of Passport hana deni na Mungu bana.She's already in heaven.Mtoto hajui shida, she can have waffles & Ethiopian coffee for breakfast at Cape of Good Hope and Garlic Butter Ribeye steak and Pinot Noir for dinner at Cape Horn,same day.
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If I were you at your age I would focus on my growth. Hawa watu watajileta, ataukijificha chini ya kitanda watakutoa tu.
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Some time back Matiangi arrived in Msa with a list of names for drug barons.Half listed were women involved in legitimate businesses in the CBD that nobody knew about.Half of Kibokoni's money is connected to drug money,the drug issue in Msa is deeply rooted,complex & messy.
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Many people are unaware of the power and privileges that Kenya's Members of Parliament possess. They are so untouchable that even
@DCI_Kenya
hasn't tweeted about this incident, unlike how they handle other cases. Feels good to be above the law.
Gatundu South MP GG Kagombe hospitalized due to shock after using his gun on unarmed Thika residents.
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Central folks unifurahisha sana,nilienda kwao & I was shocked kuona watu wanaishi kwa ikumbi (those wooden structures ukumbani sisi uwekea mahindi/ nyasi). Venye wao uongea utadhani they all own ranches ,wooden cabins and horses.
I heard huko Western Kenya the poverty levels are Soo high
Ati Kuna nyumba za nyasi mpaka in 2023
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I'm kinda confused 'cause my future in laws from the Mlima always think Ukambani is just poverty & dust. But in Machakos, we've been hitting a billion in revenue for years since devolution started. So, how's this achievement from the highly favored ones in 2024?
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When did we men start to mortify our fellow brothers who can't afford a drink, thought its men golden rule to tag one of us mwenye ako down,so he does not feel desolated & unfortunate, we all understand what it's to be a man na uko down, kwani nimekaa msituni the rules changed?!
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In less 24hrs, here we are, Kenyans are murderous.
Whenever I attend a postmortem, I usually place two Dunhill Switch cigarette filters in my nostrils before putting on a mask. Before I learned this hack, it would take me 3-4 days before I could taste or smell anything.
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@AdebolaAdesona
All Nigerians do in Kenya is con our women,run scams,enjoy our electricity & internet speed 24/7, something that they can NEVER EVER get in Nigeria, Kenya has been nothing but SAFE HEAVEN to them,now we are not friendly to them.Don't you disrespect the hand that feeds you
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Rich African American can't invest their money because the system can't allow them, reason why this guys buy basic sneakers worth millions of shillings and build a whole room just for their shoes collection.Slaved for life.
Rick Ross bought an Airplane engine and turned it into a table
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When faced with charges of possession, simply explain to the magistrates that you are a heavy user & struggling with addiction. Another tip: avoid carrying substantial amounts of cash with you to avoid giving the impression that you're a peddler.
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I have realized that individuals within my age group have turned to religion and they're taking it very seriously. What's going on??
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I used to tell boys they should always sleep in their best boxers because you never know when the day will come.
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You know what's funny, they might go after him, assuming he was sending a coded message. Right now,the big offices in Nrb are in panic mode as they don't understand these kids' modes of operandi.
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Lost a family member,I had to handle the send-off quietly, all while dealing with a financial mess of someone I granted a Sacco loan defaulted & I've been quietly paying up for it. Now I wish to retreat, rent a small place near the beach & disconnect from the real world.
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Motherhood is lonely AF, when my sister gave birth to my niece I didn't see her GFs, it was just me & mum at Aga Khan taking shifts,4years down the line, she has managed to raise her all alone & turned down promotions courses so she has more time with her.
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Wallahi being young is a beautiful thing ,kuna mtu saa hii then only thing inamkula kichwa is how Jameson sherehe will be lit, hapa Nssf unapoteza usingizi saa nane usiku unaanza kupiga mahesabu kwa giza za pesa hauna.Adulthood is one fucked up stage in life.
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Hapa they don't work at all, all they do is run their businesses, majuu shifts zitawamaliza hakuna short cuts, hapa mashinani COs ndio madakitari. The true Unsung heroes.
How come Kenyan doctors don't quit and emigrate to Canada and the UK like their counterparts in Nigeria?
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Gentlemen, whenever you're here on the coast and you happen to encounter community health workers distributing medication in public areas(men only) or when they knock at your door, PLEASE TAKE IT.
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TBH, there is nothing you can do. If we want to save our football, we need to go back to basics since our schools criminalized & killed sports activities.Lets create High School Football league, similar to what SA did with rugby & the USA did with basketball & American football.
The Kenyan media industry tries so much to cover the Kenyan Premier League matches everyday.Before me are 9 cameras,at the corners are photographers rolling their lenses for the best picture for the 5 dailies tomorrow .Where are the Fans?What should we do to save Kenyan football?
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Y'all praising a stupid man, who sends a good wife & kids on vacation so that they can invite a cheap ghetto hoodrat in their marital home,then gets accused of rape by that hoodrat.Y'all sound stupid. That woman deserves respect and she had all right to divorce his doltish ass.
Achraf Hakimi has proved by actions to many of us that the woman you are dating or you married will never be your relative. Only your mother or sister is your relative
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Marriage is an unconscionable economic contract and it's now dawning on men that marriage offers them zero return, all marriage does to men is steals their financial freedom, friends, time, properties, peace, and sexual freedom for nothing in return
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Dude salary is fat like someone's nyash here, I've warned him not even to think of getting married. Hiyo pepo naikemea kati jina la yesu.
One of my boys has finally been employed at KenGen. At first, I didn't believe it because he had been struggling to find a job the last 10 years,tried my best to hold him up those years. Dude had to send me his payslip to convince me that it was real. I'm so happy for my boy
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Bahari beach, this is the most underrated hotel in North coast,it's so slept on,love its privacy.
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Your favorite TL Cybersecurity expert was nabbed by the DCI Cybercrime unit.
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Throughout Kenya's history, I've never ever heard of a woman being abducted by the "system", not even Martha Karua in her prime, who was a thorn in Man -toro government.
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In Kenya, we allocated special seats for women in Parliament. Despite their presence for the past 12 years, they have never introduced a single bill supporting any women's agenda. Now this raises my question, if the women built those corporates world, would things be different!?
if men menstruated, corporates would mandate 2-3 days of paid menstrual leave every month.
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Tuseme ukweli,huu mchezo mnacheza nyinyi mnajua zaidi,few months ago in Ijara,a probox with only NEP locals was hit with IED & within 30 minutes you had rat out all those involved, something that you never do when it happens to "nywele ngumu" aka gurale (Non NEPs)
I Said it!
Somali Kenyans are not YET kenyans until they stop asking us for National ID Ten times on the road from Garisaa to Nairobi!
I said it!
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Our last born she's a 28-year-old advocate of the high court. She strongly believes that it is within her rights that my father & I to give her money whenever she is broke, she claims it's our(men) responsibility until the day she finds a partner of her own. A crackhead that one.
Do last borns ever grow up? And I mean sisters, mine have refused! A mother of 2....
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China TikTok live Vs Kenya TikTok live. We got long way to go.
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It's a well-known Golden Rule that every man is aware of: a man should never abandon his wife for a sideshow stunt woman,for the circus is seasonal.
Omanyala angecheza safe abaki na main wife akidimbua new catch. Day 1 women hukuwa wazuri for development and investment ukikula returns na baddies huku nje
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See how men are acting confused after she walks away,it's cause we don't receive kindness & love for free,we buy it.
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I could never have fathomed that the children of Atwoli would reside in Nyayo Estate! But when you consider that the estate is managed by NSSF, and their father sits on the NSSF board, kinda makes sense.
Jamasai Atwoli, the son of Francis Atwoli, has been causing disturbances among Nyayo Residents with his unruly behavior. Additionally, Philip Kwoba Atwoli, the youngest son, has a tendency to become intoxicated and disturb the peace in the Nyayo neighborhood. Both of them were
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Someone just called and asked if we can go on a soft date, I won't lie I'm a bit confused, wtf is a soft date!? I've never heard of that term before.
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For those who doubt the capability of the unit that's going to Haiti, remember that in the early 90s, they had only one lorry for the entire country of Kenya. There is a reason they are known as Simba wa nyikani, aka Kanga.
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My old man retired recently,he was highly decorated jungle warfare/ballistics/forensic/ CT instructor in East & Central Africa saa hii ako mashambani anatesa na jalopy yake, nobody cares who & how biggie he was, all they care & they ask him every time is how we(kids) are doing.
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Hii Kenya usijifanye unajua mtu sana,ata mtu unalala kando yake daily,don't, sana sana Nairobi.And when the D-day comes don't try to defend their character or dig into their past,it's best if you remember them the way you did. Ni mimi nawashow.
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Either he hates him or not that's their personal differences during his regime we got more funds from him than Obama ever funded us
Btw mjuwe Huwa Trump huchukia Kenya by default juu ya Obama.
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The fact your only worry is bangi mbili, bangi mbili!! shows venye hauna akili, concentrate on preventing your fingerprints from being processed into the criminal database. In Kenya, whatever you do, never reach a point where your fingerprints undergo processing. Don't!
Mtu anataka 20k juu amekushika na bangi mbili...polisi hawananga akili
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