Ingleman Dovetail
@InglemanD
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In an interesting turn of events I seem to have mistakenly been followed by some people who have taken offence at my support for
@jk_rowling
and her perfectly reasonable assertion that gentlemen cannot be ladies and vice versa. To those people now busily unfollowing me I say…
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@minturnalexandr
@LightHealing
I had a weird compulsion about three years ago to start collecting the whole Heirloom range. Took a couple of years but I think I’ve got most of it in all three colours now.
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…Goodbye, don’t let the door hit you on your way out. Good luck for the future and I hope you are eventually able to come to terms with the biological facts of nature. 😁
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@Turning_Pages7
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. ... And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, and it was fucking good;
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None of this really should have to be said, though I’m glad she is saying it. The whole issue is caused by weak politicians pandering to the mentally ill for extra votes. There’ll be no end to it unless they bring back asylums.
You’ve asked me several questions on this thread and accused me of avoiding answering, so here goes.
I believe a woman is a human being who belongs to the sex class that produces large gametes. It’s irrelevant whether or not her gametes have ever been fertilised, whether or not
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@gemmapeters
😂😂😂What you have there is a prodigy! That kind of talent needs to be nurtured. Level 14 parenting skills to have come this far in only 8 short years. 👏👏👏
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Best Doctor Who we never had?
I'll go first: Patrick Macnee.
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@approvedproduct
I hate bullying too but I don’t see this as such. She is quite right to stand up for what she believes and some of the ways she does it are quite funny. After all, lots of people have taken issue with her and I think she delivers a robust, intelligent response.
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@fesshole
Oh well done Einstein. So some of the people who wanted to read them but couldn't do that for free went out and bought copies, putting even more money into the authors' pockets.
Clap clap bloody clap.
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@anon_opin
It's because the government is not serious about saving the environment, planet or your lives. That is why it is currently allowing the waterways to be pumped full of raw sewage which you will pay to clean up. The government simply wants to tax you for the weather.
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@fesshole
I’m with you on this one. Anyone who literally pays money to have someone (and not Michelangelo, just someone who works in a tattoo shop) to permanently graffiti their own face cannot be trusted to make rational decisions in other areas of life.
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Lonnie Donegan's less successful follow-up.
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@fesshole
This isn't so much a confession as a deep seated trauma and you should really try to get some help. You're only 40. Don't live the second half of your life like this. You don't have to.
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I grew up in homes without central heating, double glazing or fitted carpets. It didn't make me harder, tougher or more resilient. It just made me really love central heating, double glazing and fitted carpets.
Good old days my arse. 😂
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@RevRichardColes
William Morris Strawberry Thief to make you feel regal, cosy and affluent all at the same time.
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This is worth a watch. I’m standing in the doorway of the shed where I’ve been drilling through steel sheet and suddenly...
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Truly humbled and quite staggered by all the lovely comments and follows. I will try to follow back in due course. Welcome along.
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@jk_rowling
Just a thank you, Jo. I had begun to shed followers after a little tweet I posted in support of you. I mentioned this fact and you were kind enough to like it which seems to have led directly to a sudden reversal of this trend and a couple of thousand new friends.
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@anon_opin
‘Communal areas of the house’. Tell me you live in a bail hostel without telling me, etc. 😂
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Morning Twitter. Here’s a quick shot of our latest grandson. Isn’t he a little smasher? 😁😍
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@Baddiel
I think you missed out some vital ingredients here: 6 rashers bacon, 3 eggs, toast spread thickly with real butter, tomatoes, hope, ambition, Gaviscon...
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@deathtospinach
Greg seems nice. I wonder who hurt him. And if they might be persuaded to do it again.
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Well today is a day of celebration because my dear lady wife has now been putting up with my nonsense for 43 years. How I’ve got away with it for this long I shall never know! 😁
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@deathtospinach
Laughing through tears! Becky someone should be paying you for this. It’s gold! 😂😂😂
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Off to watch our granddaughter parading with the Guides on Remembrance Sunday.
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And welcome to the new addition to our family. She needs a bit of tlc and she will be getting just that. Not sure my tie isn’t a little too frivolous for such a serious endeavour. 😁
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Sense of humour bypass or just really really stupid? You decide.
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@fesshole
She subsequently lost her job and was reduced to a life of drink, drugs and prostitution until finally she took her own life by drinking bleach. Some said her name was Eva Smith. Others said it was Daisy Renton.
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I bought some reclaimed parquet flooring and spent the afternoon laying it out in the little hallway to make sure I had enough before I glue it down. Once it’s fixed, sanded and varnished it will look nicer but I’m pleased with the initial effect.
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What in the name of all that’s rational are these people hoping to achieve? A tiny minority of unstable bullies trying to force their insane opinions and tragic mental illness onto the rest of the world. As
@jk_rowling
so rightly says: do as you like but stop trying to fool us!
This is the bottom line of every single activist I’ve ever engaged with on this issue, but rarely have I seen it stated so honestly. ‘Why can’t you just believe, it’s so weird you care, why make this complicated, just accept the slogan.’
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@nazirafzal
@LightHealing
How lovely that he has grown into a man who could apologise and that you have grown into someone who could forgive, despite your experience. There is still hope for the future.
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I put the trail cam under the bird table last night and was delighted to see Daisy paying us a visit.
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@richardosman
Hearing a New Zealander say "I'm going out now safely to buy some fish and chips because our country has managed the virus pandemic better than everywhere else" is quite good, too.
What a leader they have.
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@fesshole
If only there was a way of communicating this, like, with words or something. Sort of…admitting you made a mistake? No, you’re right, I totally understand.
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@aidencoder
@Lorien78
@fesshole
No, she's right. There has to be some kind of moderation and this one slipped through the net. You might like that kind of stuff but you're in a very tiny minority if you do. And you should probably seek help.
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All polished and ready for the start of the year. There’s more work in this photograph than you might think! 😂
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Good morning friends, acquaintances, enemies and all those in between. Another birthday has come around and here I am still smiling at 61. It's not the same as my 16th back in 1975 but at least I don't have to wear flared trousers and platform shoes these days. 😆
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The finished result! This is amazing for a ten year old! What do you think?
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@fesshole
So tell him. He is clearly looking for guidance and you don't have to frame it in quite as ugly a way as you have done here. Support him and help him to grow as a person.
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So I bought this old piece of wreckage for £8 from my favourite junk shop. It has a silver mount hallmarked 1928. Sent it away for repair and a new cover and it’s just arrived home this morning. 😁
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@Jenny_1884
@janeymaine
Not sure whether you’ve noticed but they already do this and have done for some time now. If you are looking to pick a fight, giving our children and their children the right to poison themselves and risk lung cancer and heart disease might not be the best one to choose.
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Still can’t understand where all the hate comes from for someone who believes in and stands up for this. This is just common sense and yet if you try to say so you are howled down and called ‘transphobic’. World’s gone mad.
I don't think it's nice to lock rapists in with female prisoners, allow mediocre males to participate in women's and girls' sport, or for women to get death and rape threats for speaking up for their rights. When you've stopped all that happening, we can talk 'nice.'
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I seem to have slipped into a time warp, here in Lincolnshire!
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@anon_opin
It will be more upsetting when these landlords go bust, unable to pay their mortgages and the many families that they house suddenly find themselves homeless amidst a housing crisis with far fewer rental homes available as so many people choose not to be landlords any more.
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@fesshole
Take it from me, even the tightest friendship groups separate over time. Marriage is for life (at least, it should be when you enter into it.) If you were to marry her for that reason it would be unlikely to last.
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@Lancs1812
@jk_rowling
Most of the time. But sometimes the truth is undeniable, despite the throngs of deniers. 😉
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Norwich City Council going that extra mile. They're not just here to inconvenience you on weekdays.
#truemeaningofgrief
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@DreyfusJames
@kelvin_morganNZ
I noticed this individual had deleted his previous post about the victim not showing sympathy for the neurodivergence of her attacker. I had hoped he had also deleted his account but alas not. All we can do is shake our heads sadly at the fact that they're not all locked up.
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This will make you feel good. (Especially if you've got OCD)
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@fesshole
No. No you don’t. And your mother says come up from the cellar now because your dinner is almost ready. And wash your hands.
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@ellemarchetti
It says “Sorry I am out of the office. Please send all work to be translated to my email address.”
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@fesshole
Oh dear. Well I suppose it's bound to happen. If you put the council in charge of anything, they'll bugger it up.
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@cityofcalgary
@AnneWilkie52
Running out of the one resource mankind cannot destroy. Running out of something that covers over 70% of the surface of the planet and which falls freely out of the sky. It is not the usage that is at fault here; just the humans who organise its distribution.
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Time for me to wish a Merry Christmas to all my friends on here. Thank you for following me, for your kind comments, for all the laughter and the very real joy you have brought to my life. Twitter has been a great Find and has taught me as much as it has made me smile. ❤️❤️❤️
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@Rosievix
@TheSting17
This is the sort of advice I would have given had I been able to stop foaming at the mouth on your behalf and form a coherent thought.
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Doesn't matter how many times I've seen this it still makes me cry laugh!
I bought a self-assembly bird table recently. The lazy bastards haven't even opened the box, all they've done is shit on it.
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What’s going on with all these Turkish ‘barber shops’ springing up everywhere? Is it just round my way in Lincolnshire? There can’t be enough customers to keep them in business. Is it money-laundering or something even more sinister? I’d love to know.
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Big day yesterday. Our fourth grandson was born, first child of our youngest son and his lovely partner. This will change their lives forever, in the best possible way. ❤️❤️❤️
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@amscanlon
You're a lovely, honest, reasonable and honourable lady. But you're arguing with extremist idiots and that's a waste of your energy. They can't possibly win the argument as it's clearly ridiculous so they immediately resort to name-calling. x
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First you take a deep breath, then you get the straps around your ears...and finally...no, it's been too long, I don't remember...😂
Wearing a face mask is very much like making love to a beautiful woman...
Got my new face mask today from redbubble; design by
@redfacts
She has some brilliant Fast Show memorabilia on red bubble. If you’re interested, please check her work out
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Lovely person. Terrible sex therapist.
No matter what’s going on in your life always remember that you come first.
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Which do you reckon is likely to get me beaten up the fastest in Grimsby on a Saturday night? 😂😂😂
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These are Fortnum and Mason’s Gentleman’s Accessories iced biscuits and they are a delight, both to look at and to consume. 😁
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Is it just me who gets an inordinate amount of pleasure from an hour’s polishing?
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@fesshole
Pretty standard club comedian’s insult back in the day. Along with “Are you wearing that shirt for a bet?”
He probably said it to 30 people a week. Let it go.
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Not one person saying he must have got a buzz out of it.
Disappointing, people.
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@RevRichardColes
Fairies. You have fairies at the bottom of your garden and that tiny burrow is the entrance to their magical kingdom. Any other holes are decoys or air vents. It is worthwhile setting up a hide and filming, especially around Midsummer Night as you may be in for quite a surprise.
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This is amazing.
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Sure, sex is great but have you ever done that thing where the scissors just glide through the bubble and squeak whilst wearing new socks, a Christmas cracker hat and gargling with turkey curry?
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Happy New Year to all the lovely people on here. Hope 2022 is everything you want it to be.
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Just before I head off to bed, I would just like to say a big thank you for all the warm messages of condolence today after the loss of our beautiful Airedale, Molly, at almost 14 years of age. My wife and I both really appreciate all your kindness. x
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