Greenwich Gooner
@GreenwichGooner
Followers
1,888
Following
802
Media
837
Statuses
5,138
Arbiter of hot. 4loko mixologist, caffeine abuser. NYC cardiologists #1 client. Literally hideous and fat. also poor. A good little bug.
Greenwich, CT
Joined May 2024
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Pinned Tweet
If I follow you,
You are hot.
If I don’t follow you and you are hot, let me know, and it will be corrected posthaste.
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Hottest girl I’ve ever seen in my life at equinox right now
Not exaggerating
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2K
I want a girl who’s dad will like me more than her
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Fun hot Twitter girl to engagement bait poster to only fans pipeline is real
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Fantasy punishment idea: wear high end clothes in Bridgeport Connecticut and attempt to get from one side to the other. If you get robbed, stabbed, or shot you have to start again once you're recovered.
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How has the algorithm ended up putting me in NYC degen twitter, SEC burner twitter, FinTwit, and OF Twitter all in the course of like 12 days
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Hot blonde girl with no mutual connections just connected with me on LinkedIn
She wants me
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193
Chet Hanks speaks out
White boy summer is for everyone. No hate, only kindness and fly white boys.
Something we can all get behind.
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between what 3-4 people?
this better be the pregame
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HAHA THIS GUY HAS EXTRA LIABILITY OF USING A DEBIT CARD IN CASES OF THEFT AND LOSS 😂🫵
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Maybe I'm single by choice you ever think about that retards
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A hot gym girl who also likes to go out could fix me
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You gotta feel for Lily Lang, she posted happy birthday for her boyfriend and Twitter decides to absolutely shit on her
Like honestly this has gone crazy far
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My stimulants abuse will some day come back to bite me in the ass
But today is not that day, ladies and gentlemen
Let’s get at it
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Being a funny micro influencer in niche twitter communities is better networking than anything on LinkedIn
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To be clear:
I spent the last 4 years at school begging my friends to go Apple picking every year, so I could get fresh Apples to bake an Apple pie. I just like apple picking ok.
Nobody would go so I went myself and baked this.
Upcoming fall strategy for having an art girlie try to fix you: look lost at an apple orchard
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If I'm ever down bad enough to offer to fly a girl out to me
Just kill me, one bullet to the temple.
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10:42am, Tuesday, at gym.
I am employed.
Nobody else here is.
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Twitter burns are only cool if you have interesting things to say on top of the intrusive thoughts posting coke and booze 24/7 is boring
to any sec burners that snuck thru the block cracks u should have your pledges open twitter for you during first lineup and yall delete their burners
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I can't stop laughing at this because literally none of this is even close to right LMFAO
But I'm glad he thinks I give off the nepo baby finance bro vibe, literally not even close tho
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Imagine getting a DUI
Like bro why’d you need to drive? Too broke for an Uber? Shouldn’t even be going out then.
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Every time a hot girl doesn't follow me back part of me dies
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Seeing the burners go back to college is sweet
I remember when I was in your shoes, like 5 months ago.
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Back day at 2:30 on a Monday. Everyone thinks I’m unemployed.
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It's 2am. I'm leaving my work happy hour now.
I DM'd Ryan Reynolds (a mutual btw) from main, had 18 beers, convinced a married woman to divorce her husband for me (she's 20 years older) and signed a new contract.
Basically I'm simply better than you all.
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Chat, I may be planning a murder-suicide
Just wanted you all to know
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Rachel
I got a breakfast burrito at an Egyptian place earlier, I think it's killing me
With little time left, the only thing j want to ask is: can you be my last meal?
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This or nothing.
Barbour >>>
I’m not letting woke Patagonia touch my body. I wear Barbour. Like a real man.
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Anyone who liked this tweet is 16 and under and nothing can change my mind about that
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i do not like tiktok girl to twitter egirl pipeline
tiktok girls have no class, no fun. it's all thirst, nothing fun about this.
just boring softcore porn thirst trap posting, there's no life to this. No art, just... horny.
No likey likey
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Burner boys apple picking excursion this fall? Maybe find a place with cider and a bar? Somewhere that connects with MTA...
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If I don’t get banned from hinge there’s something protecting me
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Some of you have truly insufferable profiles and take yourselves way too seriously
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It’s 12:23 today and I’ve had 3 normal Celsius, a super coffee, and a blue amino one
1,070mg of caffeine today and we’re not done yet
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who the actual fuck is bookmarking this
Hottest girl I’ve ever seen in my life at equinox right now
Not exaggerating
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Girls feel free to send me pics of you in Alo or Lululemon gym fits and I’ll tell you if I’d be scared of you or not
I’m offering this as a free public service
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Excess fat is objectively not hot. You can be happy with yourself and be ok with being fat. Being happy with who you are is fine, but be realistic. You’re not attractive to most people with un-fucked brain chemistry.
Don’t glorify obesity, it is an illness.
🚨🚨🚨 I’m tired of fat people calling themselves hot on this website 🗣🗣🗣
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Not scrolling Twitter between sets in the gym is deeply unserious behavior
How are you ever going to get big without a psychological problem you developed by doomscrolling for hours a day?
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What’s with people sliding into DMs to hit on women
Do it on the TL, be a man
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Ngl I follow half of you because your usernames are funny and that’s hot
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So there's this company that sent all news data for equities market into GPT-4 and got a 500% return in 14 months, 3.8 sharpe.
My buddy and I are gonna start a similar setup with newer multi-modal models and see if we can beat this
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Get all of burner twitter together for a 5 day bender and these numbers will be back to the early 2000s
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guys I know this is a hot take and I might get some backlash for this, but I'm ok with it because I need to speak my mind. I just can't keep quiet anymore.
Would.
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If you weren't alive for 9/11 your opinion doesn't matter
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Upcoming fall strategy for having an art girlie try to fix you: look lost at an apple orchard
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I'm very glad that when I black out I'm not a drunk texter
go into survival mode and figure out how to get home
always make it home
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There’s either someone with down syndrome taking a shower at Equinox right now or an old man is cranking so hard he’s developed down syndrome because there is some actual like moaning and grunting going on right now
Sounds like a wild fucking animal
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I will use Snapchat until my friends stop using it. Not random girls but actual friends
Over time you stop talking to people daily, but if you’re sending at least 1-2 snaps a day to keep a streak you still get to see them, remember them, see what they’re up to. I think it’s nice
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literally have more burner/fun mutuals on my burner than my main and this burner has less than 1/1000 the followers
maybe I should be retarded on main...
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There's something genuinely nice about knowing your existence pissed someone off so much they wrote you a novel at 4am then deleted their account after sending it.
Never interacted, never spoken, didn't know about this guy before. Just ripped it and left.
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How it feels to remember you have 3 hours of unlimited frozen drinks and lobster rolls tomorrow
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If I marry someone I met on Twitter, none of you are invited because no one can ever find out about how we met
This is not how I met your mother, a shit posted in a gooner burner. This goes to my grave.
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Not hot.
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Hot girl at the gym and I made eye contact
She smiled. Day is made.
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My bad
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Wow Darien and Westport overtook Greenwich as wealthiest towns in CT
Westport is 16 in the US, Darien 11
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I was just thinking of the travel I'll have this year
Las Vegas
Los Angeles
San Diego
San Francisco
Teipei
Hong Kong
Berlin
Florence
Barcelona
Milan
Austin
Probably more I haven't thought of!
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Do you really have a burner if you’ve never gotten locked for telling someone to kill themself?
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This is a Coke Zero but I still feel like a fat piece of shit
Imagine this having real sugar? Easy 1,000 calories. Absolutely insane people could drink the non-zero shit.
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Note to self:
date someone who isn’t a citizen of the US so rather than breaking up with them you can get them deported by framing them for a crime and get sympathy from other women
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why is this tweet doing numbers oh my god
(please dont stop I am an attention whore)
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Due to inflation I am now 6”
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