Habitual Time Waster ™️
@Frediculous
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i barely know whats happening on this app anymore
Seattle
Joined February 2009
Be mad at politics. Laugh at politics. Whatever. But the government was never coming to save you regardless. Make a plan if u dont have one. Take some action if you havent already, to look out for yourself, your loved ones, & your community bc its about to get real cold outside.
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Get this kid a twitter account ASAP. An actual savant.
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My daughter keeps singin “started from the bottom, now we here” & i told her she needed to stop bc she goes to private school😭. We gon nip any concepts of getting anything out of the mud before they even start. Like, u come from a stable well supported environment. Knock it off.
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Comcast is tweeting from their burner account in pure desperation mode.
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No improvement 😭
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My son screamed “watch out dad” in the crosswalk bc of a blatantly obvious car 😭. I said thanks. He said, “i couldnt let my dad get squished bc i might not like my step dad”.
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The amount of money theyre saying some colleges will lose if they dont have a football season is showing that theyre not even really colleges. Theyre just football programs that teach classes as a side hustle.
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People will be like "i dont know a single person IRL who has had covid" and believe its not possible to get. Meanwhile, they dont know a single billionaire IRL and believe thats totally achievable.
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I saw this and WANTED to do drugs. She was SMACKED.
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My daughter is a FORCE. She just picked a name for the baby, started calling her that, and everyone else kinda just fell in line with it. Im like 99% sure thats gonna be the baby’s name too 😭.
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My wife read something that says newborns think their mom is part of them, like they are the same entity, so their dad is usually the first person they know as a separate being.
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My sis has a pitbull thats nice but still no one trusts it. She kept the dog away from my baby last summer @ her house. My son accidentally let the dog in & she immediately went for baby. I think it was just curiosity but i never seen my 70yo dad move so fast. He DIVED on the dog.
The man whose pit bulls mauled his daughter while he was sleeping should get some serious jail time based on his neglect. As a father myself, I couldn’t see myself leaving my young daughter around such vicious animals.
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Robin Williams once said that politicians should wear nascar style jackets w/ all the corporations & organizations they get money from, and i randomly think about that often.
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Unrelated, i was reading about as global warming continues to melt ancient ice, ancient diseases will likely be re-released into the world that havent been active in thousands of years.
China has discovered a new Langya virus within its borders, with 35 people already infected.
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Ignoring all 98 white kids that got accepted to a school to blame the 2 black acceptees for your rejection letter.
what is white math.
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I remember when this was just tomboy style and didnt have anything to do with gender assignment or lack thereof.
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I accidentally got brought to an all ladies winery tour one time bc we thought husbands were gonna be there. I tried to leave but the ladies all pressured me to stay and girrrrl, let me tell you, i had fun 😭
Who worse ladies, the “my man called I’m leaving” friend or the “bring her man to girl’s night friend”?.
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My wife said that I be "doing the most" in like a slang way. I brought my son in it & said "mommy be doing the most right?" He got all literal & said "yeah, she works the most, cooks the most, everything the most." Im like ABORT MISSION! Worst cosign ever. Of course she was like
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They got rid of affirmative action, fought against DEI programs, & made wokeness a slur. What now? People being this smart and not realizing they were used as a pawn is rough.
His GPA score is 97.3%, SAT score is 1560, enrolled in a top high school, does tons of extracurricular work. He was rejected by multiple colleges. They call this equity and inclusion.
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Feds basically an accomplice at this point for watching him and letting this go on for almost 2 decades.
Feds been working on this case against diddy since 08’ dude is fried.
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Unfortunately 2mil is below my “never work again” number, so sadly, im gonna do boring stuff like fill my kids 529, make some non exciting investments, get rid of any unnecessary debt, & still carry my ass to work tomorrow.
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Every time vasectomies get talked about on here, it becomes pretty clear that a lot of dudes dont actually know what a vasectomy is.
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My wife didnt take mine and we’ve been married over 10yrs. Its literally nothing i ever care about. Shes the outsider bc its 4 of us vs her, name wise. But she gets the real last laugh bc when she books resorts, the staff keeps calling me Mr. HerLastname like im her lil scrub
How would you feel if your wife didn’t take on your last name? . Studied showed nearly 40% of millennials and 30% of GenZ are keeping their own surnames for professional and brand recognition reasons.
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I didnt know that a lot of women still thought natural diamonds are superior. In my man brain, theres literally no scenario where a $10k natural diamond ring is superior to a $3k bigger & better ring with a lab diamond + $7k worth of traveling or whatever else u want.
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My wife told me i needed to take a selfie so i could see how we were basically being the same person
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A friend was talkin about her expensive face lotion. She said she was confused about it runnin out so fast. She finally asked her husband & he said he wondered why she kept buyin such tiny bottles. Fool was using it on his whole body😭. Said it was silkiest skin era of HIS LIFE.
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When i got my first 9-5 after college, after a few months it really hit me that no summer break was coming. No winter break. No spring break. No more schedules w/free time at noon. Live footage of me picturing having to do some variation of working everyday for DECADES to come:
Omg, poor baby has her first job. Like. she has to commute?? Like. she has to cook dinner?? Like. no time or energy to work out?? Like. she's working in person not remote??? Like. She. Has. To. Work. 9. To. 5 ??? What????🙄
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My daughter is cooking breakfast. She knows her brother likes to crack eggs for her. She yell to him “i need my little cracker boy!” Me and my wife looked at each other and both said, “your little cracker boy?”😭.
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Ppl drive cars like this w/ 8 computers, got a iphone in their pocket, another computer on their wrist & countless devices at home & think somebody needs to spend time & effort on a diabolical plan to put a secret computer chip in them 😭. Dude, u already in ALL the databases.
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this is another one of my favorite tweets of 2021
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Fun fact: only 10 black people have ever wanted to even try and our 80% success rate makes us the GOAT mountain climbers. Happy black history month.
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Skipping college to avoid being broke and in debt, just to end up being broke and in debt anyway is a vicious pipeline.
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A OG having all this, and also telling young dudes that its not important bc it will all come in due time if you just stay focused & perfect your craft, doesn’t make him a hypocrite, it makes him right.
Lebron wearing a $2.6M watch… He also has a $45M house, chains and a Ferrari F430.
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My daughter sewed this shirt & pants at fashion camp last week. She said if i shared this with my “little twitter bird” friends, i had to tell yall the shirt & pants weren’t supposed to go together, they just didnt let anyone do the runway twice
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Kids be so pure. My son was telling me how his friend’s dad works at Panda Express. I asked could he get us the hook up. My son said he didnt know but asked me why i didnt have a useful job for our life like that.
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Having to wait for a sales associate to come unlock anything other than electronics will mostly ensure that i’ll never come back for that item again. And if multiple things i need are locked in multiple sections of your store, i just wont ever go to your store again if possible.
They locking toothpaste? What did you guys do???!!!
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Self checkout aggressively telling you to put something back in the bagging area.
who’s not police but FEELS like police to you?.
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My daughter’s tutor had her sorting nouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs. My daughter kept saying that it didnt make sense why they didnt just name adjectives “adnouns” 🤯. Ive never been so excited to smoke weed with someone 20 years from now.
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Obviously idk why the United Healthcare CEO was killed but as a general matter, leaders that have their thumbs on the scales of life & death and think death, at scale, is a fair outcome based on cost savings & company profits, SHOULD regularly live in fear for their own lives.
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Black person: im pro reparations . White person: you actually have slave owner lineage!. Black person: Sir, the “got you” you are hype about is called rape.
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Black men, we have a duty to help the future generation like this. Go be great
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I just saw this on IG. Im too lazy to find it on here for a proper RT
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Snowden told everything. Gave up his life for it. Most ppl didnt care. U tell Americans tech is tracking their every move. Most dont care. Americans may say they hate surveillance but then all go buy ring doorbells to BE the surveillance😭(every house on our street but us has em).
The arrest of the Luigi guy just showed Americans that they live in a surveillance state and they're not even shook by it. Amazing stuff.
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My son’s Betta Fish died today. Turns out, my daughter had been feedin hers AND his the whole time. She asked him to feed hers once & he said naw & she said ok & never fed his again. Long story short, men arent shit without women, bc that lil MF let the damn fish starve TO DEATH.
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Respectfully, yall dont actually know how your grandma got down. Of course she seemed like a sweet old lady to her grandchildren😭. Nobody thinks of grandma 40 years before you even knew her.
Hoeflation is real. Men are working 10X harder than their grandfathers for women who are 20X worse than their grandmothers.
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The fact that i wrote “dived” instead of “dove” has been bothering me all day, so i googled. Apparently both are acceptable past tense conjugations
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Me: you got $25k on you to start this business real quick?. Friend: naw, i got this $5 dollars on me to get a drink though. Us: drinks it is.
Most black people will team up to buy alcohol, but will never team up to start a business.
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There was a point in history where this was just called being in a supportive relationship 😭.
call me a trick but if my nigga need it, i’m on it.
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The mythical unqualified black kid who got in into Harvard is always so funny to me, bc have you ever met a black kid that went to Harvard? Theyre literally never unqualified for anything.
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One day we’re going to discuss how having genuine black people conversation online, open to the public, was one of the biggest mistakes that black communities has ever made. The looting of the language has been unbearable. We gave away the recipes to be bastardized like this.
I hate what white people did to the word "woke" . .
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The article literally says, “The mom and daughter remain estranged and have little to no contact. Simone has consistently refused to reconcile with the woman who abandoned in childhood her decades ago.”. Why is it always the child’s job to defy the natural order of things and be.
Simone Biles flaunts her Birkins, Range Rover and Texas mansion - but the $25million Olympic gymnast has given no hand outs to her penniless birth mom who works as a cashier to make ends meet
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The way dudes talk about Will & Jada’s situation is how you know 99.99999% of men couldnt handle a open relationship/marriage.
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Men having a hard time finding relationships “because healthy relationship standards are increasing” is wild to read.
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Not to shoot at Josh here, but it’s hilarious that employers say full time salaried is 40 hours and have absolutely no problem with employees working 48 hrs a week (or more) for that salary but 32hrs for that salary is “not going to work”.
A 32 hour work week is one thing, but saying that employees should get paid like they are working 40 is not going to work.
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My wife makes more money than me as a lawyer AND has the nerve to still always have side hustles going too. Her current one is air bnb. Her capitalism always involves me working. Now Im like housekeeping for her bootleg hotel.
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When some ppl hear minimum wage hike, they sit straight down in a imaginary CEO chair at their imaginary company & start thinkin about how paying their imaginary employees would hurt their imaginary company's bottom line & report back to us like, "thats gonna be a no from me dog".
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I got a $4500 raise and my paycheck went up $110. I am in no way complaining but can you imagine making $95,500 and you get a 4500 dollar raise up to the magical “six figures” that you always heard about and you open your check and see that you only made $110 more?
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This tweet made me google. Lol. Seems like he made well over 50mil in his NBA career. Just his 4yr contract with CLE was 40mil. Google even had an article about him claiming to have saved half of his NBA earnings. Why is he asking this woman for assets?.
Exclusive: Former NBA Star Iman Shumpert Wants Half Of Teyana Taylor’s Pre-Marriage Royalties + His Finances Revealed!
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The stolen AAVE expressions to “internet slang” pipeline is disgusting.
White people really jacked "hit different" like they made the shit up. 😭😭😭. They said:
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People are arguing that this is false but overlay old redlined maps with now and you will find the answers that you seek.
The entire US real estate market is priced around distance from black neighborhoods.
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She was like, “i dont get it. Its just a song.” Im thinking, “yeah, thats how starts.” One day youre just singing drake lyrics but next youre telling private school kids wild stories about surviving around your way
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Having a kid at 35 & realizing when they graduate college, you’ll be pushing 60 should snap everyone back to reality on how young or not 35 is. If they wait til the ripe young age of 35 to be a parent too, you wont be a grandparent until 70. I was like 20 when my grandma was 70😭.
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Passports over Jordans twitter convinced you to get your passport but now you cant go anywhere and you dont have any jordans either.
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Im washing my daughters hair like i do most sundays. We usually play a album. I found the clean Black Album for tonight. She clearly recognizes Hov’s voice enough bc she always asks, “Is that Beyonce’s husband” 😭.
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This tweet wasn’t supposed to leave my twitter neighborhood. Last time yall did this to a tweet about us having a baby, my wife was like, “Fred, what did you say on twitter bc people are congratulating me on linkedin”.
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The smartest women shoot their shot by facilitating the situation for you to shoot yours while leaving you feeling like you were the actual shooter, when in fact, you just got bagged 😭.
I don’t mind when women shoot their shot if they aren’t strange about it. Problem is they be scaring me lmaoo.
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A white coworker once told me that most white ppl dont like being reminded that theyre white. Like, they know we’re black ppl, or asian, or whatever ppl, but they got to live most of their lives as just ppl. From that view, them being mad at that innocent hiking tweet make sense.
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We just left a pool party. When i got a slice of veggie pizza there, my daughter said, “becoming a vegetarian was the worst mistake of your life.” Im like why? She said “it seems like u used to have hair & muscles when you ate meat.” The dad i was talking to said, “holy smokes”😭.
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Respectfully, dudes be 50 and college educated in the south still barking at their bruhs. Community looks different for everyone😭. No judgment.
Dudes be 35 and older in Cali talking about they a blood or crip 😭😭😭.
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Except this is basically how all the doctors and lawyers end up married to each other.
no nigga has ever ran back to his boys and said “man i gotta wife shorty, she’s 30 and has a degree” lmao.
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“My baby would only have breastmilk anyway” - a dude who cant even afford for his girl to take two weeks unpaid maternity leave.
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30+ dudes on here talking about they cant date women their age bc they have emotional baggage and kids, so they go date younger women, i guess, so they can help them have emotional baggage and kids by 30 🙃. No way we’re not living in a simulation.
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This is how you tell us you never used the word "auntie" before the internet without saying it. Auntie only meaning old now is strange.
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One is the place they oppress us from. The other is the stuff they oppress us with. So TBH, they both kicking EVERYBODY'S asses
Capitol and Capital really kicking y’all asses. But I’ll talk about it tomorrow.
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@skinclasshero Them: u dont have to understand OUR love. Us: well, why are you trying to share it with us then.
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This tweet would have never caused a klan rally like this on the old app. New management really opened the gates of hell.
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I just read that the average white person has less than one black friend 😭. I got white people claiming fractional relationships with me that i dont even know about. "How can i be racist, i have a timeshare black friend at work.".
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The internet is wild. How u share a story about u payin too much child support to ur BM who only has the kid 1day a wk, creating the rare instance that the internet sides with u, the dad, & then it turns out thats its not u who has the kid the other 6 days, ITS THE DAMN GRANDMA😭
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Its wild how after shootings ppl start advocatin for us all to get strapped up. Ppl watch too many movies. U see how sorry police act in real situations & they actual train. Your shootin range practice aint bout to have u prepared to be JohnWick if some shit pop off. Lets be real.
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@SmOoChEs_Mwah Dont “invest” in diamonds at all. Buy them bc u love them. The savings could be invested in an actual investment that will grow vs a natural diamond that just wont go down as much as a lab. Youre never getting what u paid for either back tho.
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According to the US Census Bureau, only 1.2% of the US population has a PhD. This makes having a PhD period very rare. Of that 1.2%, only 7% are black. Theyre walking around with the confidence of a unicorn bc thats almost literally what they are.
Black ppl get a doctorate degree and act like their tweets are the final say. As tho scholars don't debate and disagree all the fuckin time.
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My son made me the fire macaroni chain 🔥. Your jeweler could never 🤧
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My first date with my wife went so well, she asked me to move in with her with a straight face in the middle of the date. Imaging me thinking she was a psycho instead of it as her just joking about being delusional as a silly non literal way of expressing that she liked me.
I went on a first date with a dude a few days ago it was such a good date just for me to get home and he called me and said he think he loves me. Legit hung up mid convo and blocked him.
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I tried to put my boy on to a friend once & he looked @ her IG & it was nothin but constant international travel & he said, “im good. I dont have anything to offer her.” Thats when i knew my obliviousness is a strength bc that wouldnt have even crossed my mind as a reason to pass.
Buddy broke up w/ his girl b/c she said she needs 3-4 international trips a year or she won’t be happy 😭.
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White people have a literal 50 state strong coalition of racism. Lets be serious for a minute.
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A gift for the realtor?!? Theyre getting laid, not you. If a realtor doesn’t get YOU a gift for closing, never use them again.
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Married ppl use coworkers as free venting release to avoid payin therapists. Ppl tell me all types of stuff about being unhappy. Im thinkin divorce is on the horizon & when i double back to check on them at some later pt, they barely even remember what they were complainin about.
I work with all black women and all of them extremely dislike being married.
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People are asking whats the name😭. Yall think im about to have people on Linkedin saying the baby’s maybe name to my wife?!? Absolutely not.
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I asked my wife to tell me some ways i was misogynistic. Man, that game wasnt fun at all. Who knows how long she had been holding that in
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If its any consolation, Drake is not welcome at the Walmart in Portsmouth Virginia.
Pusha T being banned from Canada is crazy dickriding.
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Black athletes that are good enough to go pro usually have plenty of attention locally before they even go to college. Saying black girls weren’t checking for them always seems like a made up line to support what theyre doing now.
Plenty of famous black male athletes have said out loud that black women didn’t find them desirable when they were coming up which is why they choose to date and marry outside their race. Not sure why y’all are mad at me. Stop being evil bitches and we wouldn’t have this problem.
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Dudes will go raw 57 straight times and then when the woman doesnt want to have an abortion will claim that she knew he didnt want a kid & he’s being trapped 😭. No, you drew up a detailed blueprint and then perfectly executed a plan to trap your damn self.
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That tying black excellence to money & success, instead of strong family and community, is capitalism’s greatest trick of keep most black people from actually getting to the money and success.
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People will say stuff like this about morals and be in law school to become a corporate lawyer.
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My daughter spent the night at her friends house. My baby was so mad she wasnt here this morning. She was basically in disbelief. She was running thru the house yelling her name like WHERE TF IS MY SISTER😭.
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We were walking into Dicks Sporting Goods and my son was literally skipping and yelled “i love dicks”😭. A group of teenage boys busted out laughing and my daughter said, “i think those boys just laughed at us.” I just let it ride bc i wasnt touching that convo if i didnt have to.
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