Exxxxxxno Montreal
@FNoMTL
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Oh no. They’re kicking Youppi out of the ball game! #localjokesgetlocalwork
Montréal, Québec
Joined April 2018
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Pinned Tweet
Here is what we’re worried about: Montrealers have made a very specific deal with the universe. We have 6 months of winter, garbage, corruption and low pay but in exchange we get park hangs, cheap rent and hot hookups. What happens to us when the universe doesn’t make good on it?
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@MamphoN
@Iphile_S
@HoneyTellAStory
‘Go girl, give us nothing, give us less than nothing. In fact, take something from us. Leave us dumber, sadder and just generally less fulfilled as human beings for having known you!’
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We’re very pro-sniff.
all these people walking past lilacs without stopping just don't get it
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Wow ok maybe this is too far Montreal. Hearing that at least five cruisers were torched and a ton of downtown shops were vandalized. Yes systemic racism is a problem but this seems extreme for... wait, oh, sorry, this is all happened in 2008 when the Canadiens won a playoff game.
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@nick_____t
She’s really in the comments telling people who can’t afford a home to simply buy land and build one.
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@girlinabasement
For a lot of men, wanting ‘a good sense of humour’ means she laughs at your jokes, not that she makes her own.
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@erinbiba
@DEC0L0NIZE
@netflix
Not only are people going to cancel their own subscriptions, they’ll cancel their parents’ subscriptions the second they get that first panicked call for long-distance IT support, or when they visit home and see it’s stayed logged out for months because ‘It’s broken.’
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@nostalgiaonfilm
Ok honestly thought this was going to be about the hair. (Which is cute, and she is beautiful, but I cannot not share it now that’s I’ve seen it.)
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@Rjrhotmailcom2
@Snellk
On top of any defense you’ve got to give her permission to be impolite, in general but especially to men. It’s incredibly difficult to do as everyone (especially predators) counts on girls to be quiet, agreeable, put others’ comfort first, question their own observations, etc.
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@thelicoricekid
@capybaroness
This is really making me think we need a Blair Witch movie from the witch’s pov. Maybe those backpackers had a bad vibe.
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@bestofgaI
Love this song John Lennon about celebrities stuck in their mansions with excellent medical care on call. Can’t remember the lyrics, but if it were about anything else but that this might be super awkward and tacky.
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@hello__caitlin
The same stationery she surely used a year later, for the note she left on the kitchen table. The one that totally came out of the blue.
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Thought this was a joke but NO THEY ACCIDENTALLY CCED THE JOURNALIST LOLLLLL SOBBBB JFCCCCC.
I asked the provinces if they think housing is a human right, and plan to make rules protecting that right. Quebec sent this:
"Do I ghost her again? Otherwise, a general response that doesn't answer, to say housing is a priority for our government?"
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@christapeterso
Didn’t even get that far. This attempt at a creatively awkward aside just feels like a google translate screw-up.
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@laurenthehough
Doesn’t matter who you are or what you like, this is everyone’s face when this comes on.
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Hey Montreal students, tell us the truth: Is this ideal for you or..?
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Montrealers, don’t forget to only speak French with the family doctor who doesn’t exist and have been waiting nine years for!
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@TheNerdyVixen
@FootyMadPDX
Okay but maybe they’ll rip apart. One stitch. At a time. Every. Night.
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Montrealers will be like ‘I know a spot’ and bring you to a blanket in a park, laughter and guitar in the distance, endless wine and charcuterie and berries, and you’ll watch the sun set against their face and wonder how you got so lucky. Then you’ll return to the real world.
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Sorry but
@DaveSFoley
did not debut this little number just for people to pretend Harry Styles invented dresses.
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@RADArtDude
@wownicebuttdude
That’s debatable! As with so many things, girls and women are often left out of studies, and social conditioning (even with autism) lets some women ‘pass’ because their effort is invisible. Symptoms we consider common are often associated with men because that’s who’s studied.
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@brontosamus
@isabelhagen_
Also you have to be okay with stepping over an awful lot of dead bodies.
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Which Heritage Minute do you quote the most and why is it ‘burnt toast’?
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@bitchthot420
Same energy - 1905 gondola party at The Savoy. They also used to hold them on rooftops in Manhattan.
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If I, as a Montrealer, said ‘That gargoyle strobe light castle by the side of the 40’ would you know what I meant?
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@1followernodad
Once I was with a group of Americans in a restaurant in Sicily and a waiter recommended the special and they balked. I had to tell them, ‘No, it’s actually the best, freshest thing on the menu, the kitchen’s not trying to get rid of it.’
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@osunsno1hitta
@TheBlackLayers
He hadn’t considered it at all before, and not being an instant expert in an important thing makes a certain type of person uncomfortable. They need to rearrange things so it’s not that they’re ignorant, it’s that it doesn’t actually matter.
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Literally cannot imagine where to begin explaining ‘Bonjour ho’ to anyone who isn’t from Montreal. And even then.
#BonjourHo
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@bigsnugga
This reminds me of a redheaded friend in Tanzania. It’s like ‘Did you catch fire? Were you cursed? No? Okay anyway…’
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@PresidentGrrson
@saveusculture
Honestly some people see the word ‘freedom’ now and think ‘that’s the thing I say I like! This is about me!’
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@Jezebirb
@aniacopian
@Postdates
Yeah like, there’s a real great reason some people can’t/won’t go get their stuff back and tbh sending a gig worker in their place to potentially risk their life seems ethically questionable.
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@EleosArgentum
@AITA_reddit
Boundaries look like revenge if you’re empathizing with the wrong people.
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I love to walk around Montreal at 10 a.m. to enjoy the city before it wakes up.
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@chrystran
SNL: ‘Sorry if we’re not diverse, but we simply choose the cream of the crop!’
Also SNL: six minute sketch about people applying for a loan from a vampire where everyone corpses and the guest can’t remember her lines and the ending is a school bell
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@MichelleHux
@rozzybox
Writers inserting themselves into their celeb profiles... almost always a bad look, with rare exceptions.
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Once again: Montreal doesn’t need memes, Montreal IS a meme.
#mtlmoments
#mkultra
#peepeepoopoo
via the IG
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@MadisonOngstad
@SheRatesDogs
They’re weeding out the women who can smell what they’re doing and trying to find the ones with low self-esteem who’ll feel special and chosen and
#notliketheothergirls
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@JayElHarris
It would be so much easier if phones were simply tools rather than portals to platforms designed to be addictive. If you could just pop in to check an invite, look up an address, whatever, without being met with something carefully created to work like a VLT machine.
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Love living in and paying taxes to the pettiest effing province in the country. Fyi this isn’t at a restaurant or dep or anything, these are appliances in the break room of a small company.
#mtlmoments
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@makemestagger
That is such a crucial note, because this exact thing so rarely gets noted anywhere, formally. It’s just ‘I guess she didn’t advance as quickly as her colleagues’ or ‘She just left the industry for some reason.’
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The most Montreal timing ever: The dedicated Barbie doll expo is currently closed.
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@intrnetdaughter
Someone who went viral talking about sexual predators the other week followed up with an ad for diet pills and it was just the darkest timeline.
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A 15-minute city? Babe, I live in a six-minute city. I’ve got all my favourite deps and shops and cafes around me, and commute a few times a year for the dentist or if I want to see an IMAX.
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@tnwhiskeywoman
Clearly his loved one’s spirit is stuck inside that tree. The celebrities are the sacrifices he keeps bringing the witch who put them in there. So far, not one has been deemed worthy.
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To be fair, it’s Montreal. Amazed they’re using a turn signal at all.
This is why you don’t remove the stalks. These fucking idiots are pressing the wrong button for the turn signal.
$tsla
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Montreal is not making it through a major climate emergency. Just in case anyone was wondering!
#mtlmoments
Via IG @/noemillepattes
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@chronicallybeee
It’s always ‘You should have dealt with that privately’ until it’s ‘Why didn’t you say something earlier?’ or ‘Well how was I supposed to know?’
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@BrandyLJensen
What does ‘we must continue finding ways to tell these stories’ even mean, really? Like, that’s your company that’s your job don’t treat it like a mysterious quest.
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That statue outside McGIll with the excited guy on the bench using his laptop... not racist but also, like, no thanks.
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@AriDrennen
Really can’t comprehend how he thinks he’s the good guy in this scenario, on any level.
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The thing about protesting teachers is, they will come through with the signs.
#mtlmoments
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Short-sighted, petty, unrealistic, cruel, and doesn’t address the fact that Quebec high schools consistently have the highest drop out rates in the country.
Quebec moves ahead with tuition hike, French requirements at English universities
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Coming out of retirement to reshare the best
@nytimes
correction ever, in honour of L. Cohen’s passing. We maintain he would have at least chuckled.
#mtlmoments
#LeonardCohen
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@a_busy_woman
Honestly how many women who think they’re competing with a guy’s ex or other lovers are really just dating her through him? Like, he didn’t discover bell hooks on his own, just DM her for reccs next time.
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@housetoastonish
@meakoopa
And even if they believe you it’s like, “Well, yes, Archie gets attacked by a bear but it’s like a c-plot and doesn’t affect anything so you’re good.”
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@SheRatesDogs
This is the extreme version, but the number of guys who get offended when their twitter date suggests meeting in public, even in the kindest, most casual way... not small!
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Criterion Closet Picks but it’s Canadian stars going wild in the NFB archives, pulling out unsettling animated shorts from the ‘70s and documentaries about cod fishing.
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@TRyanGregory
Anyone who says this is not imagining a 90-minute journey that includes walking through snow, late buses and packed metros, and the office they’re going to isn’t a hot desk in an open-plan setup between two sick, loud people eating microwaved fish.
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@CalltoActivism
Nikki Haley was born in 1971, before American women could get a credit card in their own names or serve on a jury in all 50 states, back when sexually harassing employees and firing them for getting pregnant were both legal, so…
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@officialhambly
Being into ceramics is a green flag because you’ve got to be ready to be humbled by fate and nature, and brute force rarely yields anything good.
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You think Quebecers don’t know oppression? I haven’t been able to enter a contest since the day I was born.
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@ruth_graham
Okay but it IS weird how many ‘girl names’ were once 100% for boys (Lesley, Leigh, Marion, Allison, Ashley, etc), though never the other way around. You do wonder how it went for the first baby girls who got them.
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@lerona_ona
@GarrethvV
Sexual harassment and systemic racism, homophobia, etc. are big ones, too. People without power leave when it’s clear nothing will change.
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Okay this might be even better than the Quebec poster/translation for Nope.
#It
#Ça
#mtlmoments
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If the CAQ heard the way my GPS pronounces boulevard René-Lévesque…
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@chunkbardey
January 19th, as a favour from the higher powers that be to Ms. Dolly Parton, for her birthday.
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@Dauragon
@gersandelf
Love to watch movies from the late 80s where people do jobs using slow computers, snail mail and faxes — jobs that exist today but can be done in mere seconds, yet somehow result in longer hours and lower salaries.
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@Redpainter1
@AITA_reddit
Also if this guy wants kids just wait til he finds out that you have to actually do activities with them... and bake them cupcakes... jk you know he’s not planning on being hands-on.
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Let Olimpico baristas distribute the vaccine. They will get it to the people in record time, and we can all enjoy the Rolling Stones while we wait in line.
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