Beatrice Trudy Barley, my daughter, was born on 20th May 2022 at 9:38pm, weighing 8lbs 5oz. She had died a few hours earlier, during labour at Barnsley hospital.
Tomorrow is her funeral. I am in hell.
#babyloss
#birthtrauma
#maternity
#stillbirth
Beatrice should be six months old today. My beautiful girl ❤️
People talk a lot about my loss, but what I think about is her loss. All the love she was supposed to have. Things she was supposed to see and do. Her passions and ambitions. Her favourite food and story.
All gone.
Today Beatrice should be 11 months old. I wish I was tired from chasing around my girl, instead of being exhausted by grief.
I spend my waking hours constantly missing her, and my sleeping hours in nightmares searching for my taken baby.
Today my girl should be in her Granny's garden, giggling, cake smushed in her hair (and probably everywhere else too), dragging a new cuddly toy around, surrounded by the people who love her.
Happy First Birthday Beatrice. Missing you always, loving you forever ❤️
My baby Bea ❤️. When I went into labour almost 2 years ago it hit hard & painful straight away, but despite that I was smiling & excited to finally meet my girl.
Then when she was born she was incredible. So beautiful, with all this silky soft hair.
She should have been alive.
Rosalie Nancy Barley made her appearance on Friday 3rd May, coming screaming into the world. Born by caesarean, only her head was out of my body when she started to screech.
Having a living baby is the best thing ever & I'm missing Bea even more now. So in love with my girls ❤️
It is 18 months since the best moment of my life - holding Beatrice for the very first time. I remember her silky soft hair and chunky legs. I imagine how she would be now, as a cheeky little toddler.
Her whole life has been taken from her by our broken maternity system.
Mum, angry: "They say no one voted for a no deal Brexit. But I bloody did."
For once I am not the most radical member of my family 😂
She says she'd be happy with PM Boris, DD, Raab, or anyone else who will get us out of the institutions of the EU. I suspect she speaks for many
As a woman in politics I really could not care less about the 'gender balance' of Cabinet. Promote on merit please - don't patronise women, giving them jobs to make up the numbers.
#reshuffle
Esther McVey & Andrea Leadsom confirm they’ve been sacked. Theresa Villiers has also been spotted in No10. All very well talking about the “pipeline” of women coming through but the gender balance of the new Cabinet is looking a challenge
Gosh, the ERG sound awful! That wouldn't be the same group who have advocated an FTA from the start, backed Plan A+, set out alternatives to the backstop, worked on the cross-party Malthouse Compromise, and warned the PM from July '18 that her deal wouldn't pass??
ERG have been utterly intransigent. They kept on pushing for no deal even when it is clear there is no majority for that in parliament. They haven’t made any constructive suggestions but have kept on sniping. Their intransigence has meant Brexit has been delayed & softened.
Just take a moment to let this sink in. The government says we will be *allowed* to see some of our families for a few days over Christmas.
Allowed.
I can't be the only person who feels a bit queasy over this?
This guy is an absolute legend. 4th in the ConHome leadership survey, putting him above many of those candidates that have already declared.
Baker has:
1) Conviction
2) Real world career experience
3) An incredible work ethic
4) Personality
5) Integrity
Plus much more!
A huge THANK YOU to everyone who put me 4th in the
@ConHome
leadership survey:
If you want to discuss Brexit, please don’t come to the dropzone today, please visit my website, here:
And thanks again everyone!
#StandWithSteve
Picture this: you are 82. You have moderate dementia which is in fairly fast decline. Right now you know your loved ones, and you have capacity to make decisions. In 12 months time this may not be the case.
Is it unreasonable for covid NOT to be the biggest concern for you?
You know what's sad? Hearing from people who have only ever voted Conservative that they won't be doing so this time. Including an 89 year old woman who told me this with tears in her eyes.
As a Party, we have let people down so, so much.
Yes of course a December 12th election is not my favourite thing - it would have been much better to do it in October as the government wanted!
But wouldn't it be nice to get a fresh, shiny new Parliament in place for next year? 😍
@Kimmy_Jade
I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter too ❤️
I wish people would understand that we're already upset. You won't remind us - we haven't forgotten. And sometimes we just need you to sit with us while we cry because there is no 'making it better'.
We should be having such a lovely day celebrating Beatrice's second birthday. Most likely in her Granny's garden, with a cake baked by me and all the people who love her.
Every day that passes is more life that was stolen from my girl. I miss her more now than ever.
Ok, here’s a question
@Nigel_Farage
. Where did you get my mum’s name & address from? She’s not on public register. Do all campaigns now have the official register?? Or is it from your database
@Arron_banks
? Or yours
@TBorwick
? Where’s the data from??
I've spoken to far too many mums whose babies died after they sought help for reduced fetal movements. They weren't taken seriously.
I've wondered for a while HOW such a well understood massive red flag could be ignored - is this the answer? Some HCPs think women are lying?
I'm imagining an alternate reality - the one I desperately want to live in - where instead of carefully cutting and arranging my beautiful Mother's Day flowers they are shoved in a vase because I'm so busy with 10 month old Bea ❤️
Sad to see
@Alex_Stafford
, who has known me since we were candidates together in 2019 and was our MP while I was LOTO at Rotherham Council, stoop this low. In his rush to attack
@JakeBenRichards
, he has forgotten who clinical negligence legal advocacy is for.
Varadkar gives the game away. The EU hopes to bounce the UK into revoking or extending Art.50 by insisting on this unacceptable backstop. Time to step up no deal preparations and call the bluff.
#Brexit
#StandUp4Brexit
#TheresaMay
"Any agreement has to be between the EU and the UK" -
@faisalislam
questioned Taoiseach
@campaignforleo
in Brussels over the prospect of a no-deal.
Follow the politics latest here:
Every Tory knocking doors has seen this. Every Tory not knocking doors needs this reality check. There is serious anger out there, but perhaps the most worrying thing is the despair. Whatever faith there was in our political processes is quickly eroding.
#mustread
“These are our people. These are Maggie’s people — and they hate us."
I've been speaking to Tory campaigners, council candidates and MPs about the impact May's failure on Brexit is having on the doorstep.
Except when I talk to working class, northern, usually Labour voters who have spent a few minutes telling me they don't like Tories, so often they end by saying: "except for that one. That Jacob Rees-Mogg. I like him". Or "I like Boris. I think he's cleverer than he seems".
This
#BabyLossAwarenessWeek2022
#BLAW
I want people to know that in the UK, every year, hundreds of babies die because of negligent NHS care.
This is Beatrice, my daughter, who should be almost five months old. I am so very proud of my beautiful baby, and I miss her constantly.
This would be so much more credible if she hadn't spent so long advocating one kind of Brexit, then gone behind her ministers' backs (and everyone else's) to develop a different plan, which is rubbish.
#CPC18
#ChequersPlan
We jumped from 0 to 20 Councillors in Rotherham by knocking on doors and listening to people. What we heard was hunger for proper Conservative values: careful spending, lower taxes, individual choice and responsibility. I write in
@ConHome
today
Absolutely delighted to be the Conservative candidate for Wentworth & Dearne - my family come from Wentworth and many of my favourite places are in the constituency ❤. Ready to get stuck in and start knocking on doors tomorrow! I want to win and
#GetBrexitDone
Yet again
@Jacob_Rees_Mogg
's command of the detailed facts is formidable. While other politicians make vague accusations and implications, Jacob knows the detail of the treaties.
#C4Brexit
Sorry, but I can't support calls to ban anonymous accounts on social media. There are lots of legit reasons for anonymity e.g. whistleblowers, survivors of crimes protected by anonymity sharing their experiences, etc etc. These voices need to be heard.
This week I chose a tiny coffin. I wrote a eulogy for a daughter I never saw open her eyes or take a breath. I should be holding her, feeding her, caring for her - not doing this. Everything is wrong. I miss Beatrice so much it is a physical pain.
#babyloss
#birthtrauma
I got my 'shielding' letter today, asking me to stay at home and not have any contact with anyone for 12 weeks. I will, of course, comply - because I don't want to get seriously ill or die.
Please everyone, follow the guidance you are given on social distancing and shielding.
Knocking doors this week.
Lady: Is Boris going to sell the NHS to Trump?
Me: What do you think?
Lady: I think that's what Labour wants us to believe, but it's rubbish
#ToryCanvass
@DCBMEP
The teams I am part of are continuing on. But it is hell out there. So much genuine rage. What can we say to voters? How are we supposed to defend these decisions?
Those MPs saying they don't want a GE that is all about Brexit: the thing is, in a democracy people decide what issues are most important to them, and vote along those lines.
If that turns out to be Brexit, that is their choice.
I have been waiting for a government like this for years. I joined the Conservative Party 13 years ago and have worn out shoes since, knocking on door after door in my blue rossette, in the hope that one day, this is what we'd get.
I am so, so excited to see what happens next.
Mostly when I tweet, I'm angry.
But the reality of baby loss is that I spend about 70% of my waking hours just thinking about how lovely my daughter was. How beautiful. How proud I am of her. And, of course, how much I miss her.
She should have been 5 months old today.
People say 'sorry for your loss' to me, and I nod and say thanks. But inside I'm angry, because what about Beatrice's loss? There was so much meant for her and it's all been stolen away. So many people here to love her, and she never gets to experience any of it.
No matter what happens over the WA, at least we can trust
@SteveBakerHW
to always stand up for his principles ❤️. And several of his colleagues likewise 😍. The Conservative Party membership will remember this.
Next time someone tells you
@SteveBakerHW
is a 'brextremist' ask them to read this statement and explain exactly which bit is unreasonable.
#StandUp4Brexit
In his usual style,
@SteveBakerHW
has published a clear, fair and reasoned rejection of May's awful deal. He has also set out a sensible way forward should May's deal be voted down next week. Read it here:
But nothing disguises the negligence that caused my daughter's death. The CTG trace is there in black and white. The number of times everything said we should have been rushed for a c-section is clear. The total lack of action cannot be hidden.
Barnsley hospital killed my baby.
"The ERG plan is trash because you need regulatory alignment for the GFA." If anyone can tell me where that is in the text of the GFA I'd be grateful, because I can't find it. It's almost like opponents of Brexit are just making stuff up...
I tweeted this a year ago today. Announcing Beatrice's birth and death on the eve of her funeral.
They say that 'time heals', but here we are and my baby Bea is still dead. I miss my girl.
Beatrice Trudy Barley, my daughter, was born on 20th May 2022 at 9:38pm, weighing 8lbs 5oz. She had died a few hours earlier, during labour at Barnsley hospital.
Tomorrow is her funeral. I am in hell.
#babyloss
#birthtrauma
#maternity
#stillbirth
I'm proposing this motion at Rotherham's Full Council meeting next week (10th Nov, 2pm, Dinnington Resource Centre). I hope it will receive cross-party support and that Councillors will recognise that much more needs to be done to protect children from Child Sexual Exploitation.
Bea will never have a favourite food or a best friend. She'll never have the joy and excitement of discovering Santa Claus has been. She won't learn to read or sing. She'll never go on holiday, play at a park, or choose a party dress. Her whole live has been taken from her.
I'm overwhelmed by all the attention my baby Bea is getting from this tweet. I'd intended to reply to everyone, but with so many I don't think I'll be able to.
If you want to know how she died due to negligence at
@barnshospital
, this thread sets it out:
Beatrice Trudy Barley, my daughter, was born on 20th May 2022 at 9:38pm, weighing 8lbs 5oz. She had died a few hours earlier, during labour at Barnsley hospital.
Tomorrow is her funeral. I am in hell.
#babyloss
#birthtrauma
#maternity
#stillbirth
I grew up in a single parent home, below the poverty line, and went to a school so bad it was closed. First in my family to go to uni. Now? Degree, master's degree, own business, great lifestyle, Tory candidate's list. Yes there's work to do, but there is opportunity now.
In Britain success is based on where you are born, who your parents are and who you know. It doesn't matter how hard you try.
That is going to change. Everyone deserves a decent life and a chance to give their dreams a shot.
The 'killing granny' type replies are just... sigh.
Here's my position: elderly people should get a say in this.
If my grandparents decide a big family Christmas is worth the Covid risk, that should be their choice to make.
Not mine. Not yours. Not the government's.
My beautiful baby Bea should be 16 months old today.
I miss her today and every day; every moment. I remember her as she was with stark clarity - the feel and smell and joy of her. And I imagine what she'd be like now, how she might laugh or determinedly stomp her little foot.
Not your average Party Political Broadcast - but then again, what did we expect? Boris is not like every other politician, and people are voting for him because they're fed up of business as usual.
#GE2019
It's time to move this country forwards.
Boris' deal provides a path to a great future with a broad and deep relationship with the EU based on friendship and free trade.
It wasn't to be for me in Wentworth and Dearne tonight. I am disappointed, of course, but this result shows Labour that they can't take voters for granted.
Previously a 14,803 majority, now 2,165.
#ge2019
All deleted now of course, but here's another HCP agreeing - apparently women 'play the system' to get an induction.
Serious question: why are people who clearly hate women allowed to work in maternity care??
In the weeks since she died I have got my medical records and received the preliminary post-mortem report. I have read every piece of clinical guidance and learnings reports from other hospitals that I can get my hands on.
And I now know that my baby Bea should have lived.
This. 100% this. Knocking up Ps and Cs today I have been asked over and over again when May will go. Loyal voters who are fed up of us because they are fed up of May - many have been persuaded to vote Conservative on local issues. But the anger; oh my goodness the anger.
This time last year I was as big as a house and so excited. 11th May was Beatrice's due date and I felt like we'd made it, we were on the home straight, I was finally going to meet my baby.
I look back on my naivety and the trust I put in the professionals with so much regret.
@MartynPitman
@HHFTnhs
I had to really insist Barnsley didn't list Beatrice as 'born sleeping' - they initially said no because it would be 'too upsetting' for other people. When they'd killed MY baby.
And then they published it like this. Like I was somehow wrong for not wanting a shitty euphemism.
I vividly remember the first time I felt Bea move in my tummy. None of these 'flutters' or 'butterflies' people talk about. Nothing and then one day this huge STOMP that made me gasp in surprise. What an announcement!
Is that what her personality would've been? I'll never know.
Let's make one thing clear: for this new group of Conservative Councillors in Rotherham, the real work starts now.
People voted Conservative here because they want change, and we are going to do our very, very best for them.
Midwives wondered if the cable was broken while my mum shouted at them that it was a problem with the baby, not the machine. While my baby's heart beat its last, a doctor giggled about the amount of poo on her head getting in the way of the clip.
My medical records are packed with omissions and lies. The times we raised meconium in my waters aren't there. My contractions are recorded inaccurately. In writing their notes retrospectively, doctors and midwives have tried to make themselves look ever so slightly better.
Rosalie is 1 month old today: here are a few pics of what we've been up to recently 🥰.
She's amazing & I'm enjoying every minute with her.
I'm also missing her big sister more than ever. Lots of memories today in particular as the day Bea turned 1 month old, we had her funeral
Corbyn is calling for both votes at 16 and votes for EU nationals with settled status in a December election. That's just a few weeks to completely change the franchise of this country, with no public consultation and no time to actually implement such changes.
#GE2019
"What we're all learning is that the Fixed Term Parliaments Act is an abomination and it needs to repealed" -
@SteveBakerHW
says on Sky News.
I could not agree more.
#QueensSpeech
More news from
#torycanvass
- a lady who said the Brexit delay has 'overshadowed her last years' and hopes she'll live to see democracy delivered.
Oh, and she's another life-long Labour voter who will never vote Labour again.
What on earth is going on at
@RMBCPress
? Two very different answers to the same question, with their own numbers saying that as many as 1,665 children may have been at risk of being sexually exploited since 2017. We need answers and we need them now.
'We don’t know why they sent two different sets of data in response to the same question but are trying to find out.'
GB News Reporter Kevin Larkin speaks with CSE survivor "Elizabeth" after Rotherham Council gave her different numbers regarding child sexual exploitation.
I understand why people are pushing this 'bah, ERG!' line, and also why some people may be legitimately angry with them. But let's try to keep even a little bit of relation to reality??
There had been 3 midwives and 2 doctors in the room, but once Beatrice was dead they all cleared out. Mum and I were on our own for almost 30 minutes while my labour continued, my baby dead. I begged for a c-section and the consultant refused to even discuss it before leaving.
No anaesthetist involved in my birth, though there very much should have been.
However, I hear this a lot from others. It's really notable how often bereaved and/or traumatised mums tell me the only person who gave them good care was the anaesthetist.
I have written a fair bit about how Brexit has come up on the door step so very often. Almost every door TBH. But what have people actually said??
Well, May has the hearty support of one lady who voted Remain and thinks May's tactics are to deliberately delay Brexit...
In all the anger over the EU's actions yesterday, please can we stop to remember that the UK chose to leave NI half in the EU, giving the EU such enormous power over the flow of goods in and out of NI?
It's just not cool. Drop the empty outrage and fix the NI protocol.
@marklunn123
@TanyaGold1
@GaynorJohn4
@Robyn_Medhurst
'An awful situation' - you mean the one where the team being praised on FB were so negligent that a coroner found 'neglect' killed baby Orlando? And it nearly killed Robyn too.
They weren't working hard to save her life - they were ignoring her pleas for help and poisoning her.
Knocking on doors I continually hear people despair at the stare of politics. They say that they want independent-minded, principled politicians who can't be bought or bullied. Well, here you go.
“The spite, pride, mendacity and pitiless commitment to trampling democracy with which we are governed today leads me to describe the situation without hesitation as wrong: deeply, profoundly, intolerably wrong.”
Instead of rushing us to theatre like everything says they should have, midwives and doctors opted to 'continue monitoring'. When her heartbeat became difficult to find, they moved the receiver around on my tummy for half an hour. A clip on Beatrice's head was attempted 4+ times.
Between media interviews today for
@Safe_Maternity
I'm thinking about my baby Bea's tiny feet. She should be 17.5 months old now, and I can just imagine these feet stuffed in wellies and enjoying all the puddles on this rainy day. I want to live in that world, not this. ❤️
Reading your baby's post-mortem report is hell. I've never seen 'normal' written so many times in one document. It gives intrapartum asphyxia as the cause of death and says to look at events during labour to understand why Beatrice died.
#maternitysafety
#babyloss
I am 30 years old, and I'm pretty sure that when I'm knocking on doors as an old lady people will still be saying "sorry love, I can never vote Conservative after that Brexit business".
It's all just so faith-crushingly damaging. We're going to be haunted by this.
I am so proud to have contributed to this investigation in honour of my Beatrice, who should be here and celebrating her first birthday on Saturday.
I'm also enormously grateful to Victoria and the C4 News team for their thorough work on this.
Please do tune in!
Big 2-part maternity investigation starting tonight on
@Channel4News
. It’s taken a long time to get to this point but my heartfelt thanks to everyone - esp the bereaved parents - brave enough to speak to us.
Just watched Arlene Foster & Diane Dodds give a press conference on Brexit and the border. I'm really impressed with them both - smart, measured, hard as steel. 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
As soon as we were put on CTG, the trace showed big decelerations in Beatrice's heart rate. Then bradycardia. Then a short, short time when everything was OK. And then 'loss of contact', where her heartbeat was difficult to find for over 50 minutes before it stopped beating.
It should be a surprise to no one that when you make drinks taste rubbish people don't buy them any more. Coca-Cola is reaping the reward of sticking by its customers' preferences.
And now it's official! I've been up in Wentworth and Swinton today. I've also seen some of the flooding in Wath & Bolton upon Dearne - will be back soon to listen to local concerns and see what can be done with the Environment Agency to stop it happening again.
Last year, just a few days before Christmas, I had my 20 weak scan and learned that Beatrice was a girl. I don't have the words to express how excited I was. Aren't anatomy scans incredible??? I saw her brain, spine, heart, so many things. Look at her legs for goodness sake! 😍
"I used to be so proud of it", one told me.
"If they can ignore the referendum, what else can they ignore?", another worried.
"It just seems like a waste of time", many have said.
I wrote about this feeling that is grinding people down two months ago:
I've submitted a complaint to
@Telegraph
regarding an article published today written by
@sarahrainey4
. I am horrified and feel completely violated - I spoke to the journalist in good faith, and now find Beatrice's death has been used to promote the view of birth that killed her.
Beatrice should be 16.5 weeks old, but instead she is a collection of ashes, photos, and memories. She was completely perfect, and died of intrapartum asphyxia. A c-section would have saved her life.
I hope people enjoying
#NLNB22
today will stop for a moment and THINK.