Jessica
@DzessikaJessica
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I tweet about: psychoanalysis (studying, being a patient of, at work) and children (my own three, working with) @dzessikargh sometimes.
Gloucestershire
Joined December 2019
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Pinned Tweet
"If a society values its children, it must cherish their parents."
- Bowlby
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Me: How did you do in cross country today?
Child: I came last!
Me: Oh well... You tried at least!
Him: I wasn't going to come last, but Peter was last and seemed really sad so I went back and walked with him.
😭 My heart 😭
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@nicola_dEU
@ClaireEMcD
The year my dad died we won the school raffle and mum later said without that we wouldn't have had been able to afford Christmas dinner that year and I always wonder...
Thanks for all you do 💕
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4K
Children have to dress up as "anything patriotic" for school tomorrow.
So tempted to put my daughter in her nurses outfit and send her in with her aunt's RCN placard from last week's strike
😇
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I tried meal planning with my three year old and eventually just wrote down all she said.
It's pretty dark.
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This got popular so I want to shout out to the Woodpecker Cooperative and Volunteer Woodpeckers books which had a huge influence on him. Buy them, they're lovely! 🐤
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Just read a therapist's bio saying "I will offer unconditional acceptance and will not judge anything you share with me"
Now I really want to book a session where I share the weirdest opinions and fantasies I can imagine
Which is a bit sadistic of me come to think of it 🙃
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Please pray for the family of a 15 year old who died after jumped from a building here this evening 😭
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My staunchly atheist friend has asked me to pray - for a friend of hers who's pregnant and has been told her baby has a rare condition and is shell shocked.
Please pray too 💜🙏
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@AndrewWalk8499
@EsheruKwaku
@sainsburys
@Argos_Online
Reinforced knee = if a child lands on their knees they're less likely to end up with holes in
Grow hem = you can unpick the hems at the end of the legs so they can get longer to have to save you buying more pairs over the year.
M&S do similar but these are new and much cheaper
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In teacher training we were told "all behavior is communication" ie bad behavior stems from an unmet need
Thinking psychodynamically takes it to a whole new level
ALL behavior is communication. Like, all of it.
🤯
(Also people do so many behaviours in a single hour)
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'I'd never stuck with therapy, then I tried psychoanalysis' in the FT today
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Drinking so much the night before a kid's party probably wasn't my brightest idea so I've dragged out my "you probably don't want to talk to me" t shirt for the occasion 😂
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Had a lovely day London, now in children's A&E after my daughter had a (febrile?) seizure in her sleep.
If you're also up at midnight, your prayers are appreciated.
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My husband asked how therapy was, I replied it was good as I told my therapist I wanted to kick & punch him for the first time.
He said "yay" then went "you know, I think through osmosis I've learned a lot about therapy - before I would have said you need to change therapist" 😂
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"since trauma immediately sets in motion massive splitting and projective mechanisms, it is often the child [...] who contains the more damaged parts of the parent." - Durban, J
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Parents evening was basically:
Your child is behind in everything. Except RE, where his knowledge and empathy is excellent. And in worship, where he actually pays attention and loves to pray.
Sometimes I think he actually might listen to me 🤷♀️
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I asked for prayers on Twitter once (iirc) and I never updated you.
The baby they thought had been so severely brain damaged in the womb and was unlikely to survive, is now a completely healthy toddler.
Anyway, if you fancy praying again I'm about to send an email and am ...
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Had a sore throat so was huddled in bed.
Asked kids to make themselves a sandwich for lunch.
I got escorted (against my will!) downstairs to a table full of crudités, a cheeseboard, bread, cheese fondue and a drink because 'you need to eat to get better'.
*Beaming with joy*
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Melanie Klein's daughter was... Cutting in her criticism.
'Some analysts seem to assume as a matter of course that analyzed parents are also the best parents. This is definitely not the case. All we can legitimately expect is that a person who has...'
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This morning my husband (who's been away for a few days) was looking so content and said "it's not that I forgot how beautiful you were, I just turned the light on and was reminded of it"
If you need me, I'll be beaming all morning 😃
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Festival guy: I don't like living in England, it's all "mental health this, mental health that"... Anyway, enough about me, what do you do?
Me: 😶
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@JolyonMaugham
Happy Christmas! Either you or your doppelganger helped my daughter last week when she fell over and you/he recommended a great ice cream parlor and if it was you then thank you so much 😊
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The more exciting news is that despite my struggles with the creed, newness to the church and a pandemic - the plan is to go to a BAP in May. 🙈
Thanking God today for the kind people of C of E Twitter who've shared, prayed, discussed, listened & patiently taught me so much. 💜
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Can I interest anyone in a thread that's a psychoanalytic reading of Alan's Big Scary Teeth? 😁
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@danwaterfield
I do wish more people would follow these guidelines:
eg Avoid dramatic headlines and strong terms such as ‘suicide epidemic’
&
Suicide is extremely complex and most of the time there is no single event or factor that leads someone to take their own life
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The thing about birth trauma is the anniversary is always a birthday which is meant to be super fun and you just feel like it would be cool if the flashbacks would stop.
(Sorry when I am invariably a bit of a mess this week)
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My friend had an interview for play therapy training
One of the questions was:
If you saw a child being shouted at in the supermarket, what would you do?
So I want to know - what would YOU do?
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Me: *tries to be social, makes cocktails, gives up on going to church this evening*
Friends, who have never EVER expressed an interest in church before: so when are we leaving for midnight Mass?
🫣
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"We don't need to visit a church because we already *have* a church" - the four year old.
She changed her mind though because she decided she loves
@revdphilippa
who so kindly took time out of her day to show us around and tell us all about Saint Friseswide 💞
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Rowan Williams lecture, hot chocolate, and cracking open the Christmas biscuit box early 👌
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Bion, answering a question on his concept of "without memory or desire":
"I strongly recommend you to 'forget' that rule. It may stop you from using your intelligence. It is much better to use such intelligence or such wisdom as you have"
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I spontaneously bought four tomato plants for 50p each a few months ago.
Best investment I've made for a while 🍅
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After eight weeks in the queue on my library's app I've started reading
@BarristerSecret
's first book and I'm only 19% through but it makes really grim reading (while being excellently written!)...
You should probably read it.
I'll be gifting it to everyone this year!
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@pauljgilbert_
I had a really good IAPT CBT therapist once. I think we had a few more than six sessions though, and he ended by essentially saying "yeah you need long term therapy" and I found his honesty refreshing 😅
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I'm apparently going to lead the first public worship service at my church for seven months.
I've never had a role before in worship services.
It's all going to be fiiine...
😶
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@JayHulmePoet
I'm married to a diabetic, I have so much sympathy.
It's horrible knowing within a few days he would die without medicine and also seeing that supply chains are so vulnerable.
I hope you have enough at the moment and pray there are no problems with medicine distribution. 🙏
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A handy tool to deal with your analyst's interpretations 😀
Marketing needs you to come up with a tagline for this product. What’s your pitch?
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Remembering fondly the time we were waiting at the school gates and a parent (who's a therapist) spotted a book by Melanie Klein in my bag and kindly advised me "you do know that's not a parenting manual right?"
😃
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Discovered the eight year old has been secretly practicing Spanish on Duolingo in preparation for this trip.
Discovered this by overhearing his Duolingo on the ferry and both my husband and I looking at one another, confused, at the words.
Reader, he's been learning Turkish.
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I've spent a lot of time recently panicking about stuff to book for the kids when stuff finally opens up again.
Took them on a bus today. I think it was the happiest day of their lives.
*Rethinks booking Legoland*
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I'm not saying miracles happen but I found an unordered pot of ice cream in my shopping delivery and
@sainsburys
said I could keep it 🍦
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"I want to cut all my toes off and see how long it takes my child's teacher to notice they're in the glue stick box"
"...But you said you wouldn't judge me!"
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Husband get invited for his vaccine today. Appointment on Saturday.
A year's chronic undercurrent of worry is slowly evaporating right now.
#thankyouNHS
💙
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Really desperate that it might lead to a really good outcome. Can't really say much more publicly but it's super important to me, feel free to message if you want more context. 🙏
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My good news today for today...
I got approved to volunteer as a steward for Covid vaccinations 😀
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@NatSecSoc
I think it's more management of the living - the grieving - than management of the deceased. Not sure how many priests can prepare a body for burial but I know many who will answer the phone to a grieving widow in the middle of the night and listen for hours.
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@MadsDavies
No don't do it. My mum got me one and I made this video to show
@mthr_jo
how awful it is 😅
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@EmpressOfKashyr
@JayHulmePoet
I am a treasurer. I am also a physics graduate.
The money never tallies however many counts I do... However many excel checks... However many times I try to reconcile reciepts...
Turns out that being good at maths isn't what people think good at maths means 🙈
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Today I turned 30 and I ran out of tramadol.
I've been prescribed opiates for over a third of my life 😶
Now I'm quitting for good. I stopped last year, but then lockdown meant anxiety + pain so I took one each day.
Chronic pain recovery is bloody hard & lonely. But worth it.
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Looks like I'm going back to university in September:
"Dear Jessica,
Congratulations - you have now accepted and confirmed your place on our Perinatal, child, adolescent and family work: a psychoanalytic observational approach course."
🙈
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'...been successfully analyzed will have a
better relation to his child than before he was analyzed. But this improved attitude is not necessarily better and is in fact often less good than that of a genuinely good parent.'
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My daughter suddenly stopped drawing earlier, looked me dead in the eyes, and said with unbridled joy - 'we're all going to heaven today and we'll dance there!'
3.5 hours to go but I'm totally checking the smoke alarm and CO detector before bed. 😶
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Some people might say psychoanalysis is elitist and I think that is true.
But it is also true that places where you can get it also have naice bakeries for you to recover from said analysis.
🧁
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Following Dr. Mike on Twitter is like watching a film where you know the ending but hope beyond hope for a miracle while hiding behind a pillow.
Thank you for what I am just so so sorry you having to do. Lord, have mercy.
@DavidJ_GB
@CharlotteNHSRN
@PHE_uk
@cardinalhealth
Imagine if we were sent to remove asbestos from a roof with bad PPE and later developed asbestosis.
We would get compensation.
Government funded...and yet the government is giving us this piss poor out of date PPE to try to prevent us dying from a virus.
It's smoke and mirrors
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M, aged three, delighting in the reopening of churches for cleaning.
'I missed Jesus' she said, after being fixated on the icon at the altar for a surprisingly long time.
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"yay you got a place on a doctorate at the tavistock" themed cupcakes.
Never ever icing 'reparation' again.
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@CaraLisette
Psychoanalytic psychotherapy.
I think because it costs so much money, either the sunk cost fallacy or the placebo effect is strong 😅
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Praying people - husband is going in for surgery on his eyes tomorrow (diabetic retinopathy). Prayers appreciated for the operation and his future health are so so appreciated.
(Tagging
@quellajesska
cos you've been here too 😔)
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Daughter: one day we will make an Easter day for you and give you an egg hunt.
Me, trying to instill some Christianity into her: well every day is Easter cos Jesus is risen every day!
Her: well, not good Friday...
Outreligioned by a preschooler.
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Any other clergy/ church folk part of
#roamcult
? I just love it - it's like a freshly sieved personal treasure trove of quotes, extracts, thoughts & ideas that make life/writing/thinking so much easier. Would love to hear how others use it...
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Cracking open my Valentine's chocolates early 💝
(To be enjoyed with my new book that arrived today 📚)
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I love you all on here, and thank God for you always. Thank you for brightening my life, broadening my horizons and teaching me new stuff. I am so grateful to you all.
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I've been so sick I've been unable to cook for weeks but today I've put a jam roly poly in the oven and soup on the hob.
#TinyJoys
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New mum friend in the playground just said 'I love your look, it's so cool and ... Dishevelled'
I'll take it as a description of me 😃
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Having this discussion with my husband.
He clearly listens to me and understands the nuances of therapy far more than I do of machine learning.
Him: "I'm assuming that the transference- countertransference cycle underpins successful therapy...
@FJJ_Austin
A machine cannot love you or hate you. That is the fundamental truth of all human relationships, including a psychotherapy relationship. Remove that, and you’ve removed the essence
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I'd already met my husband and half finished a degree by my fourth chancellor, my son can almost sit unaided by his fourth.
#strongandstable
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I dropped out of my undergrad masters cos quantum optics was too hard
For my new masters I've just written half an essay about a dream I had one night
I think I made a good decision 😅
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The Long Table (
@Tom_Herbert_
) are delivering meals all around Stroud for those in isolation, there's a really active Stroud Coronavirus Facebook group offering help and I've given the vulnerable at my church my number and offered to shop etc
#AllInThisTogether
#stroud
😍
Love & kindness can be infectious too, and stronger than fear. Looking forward to hearing yet more imaginative ways people
@GlosDioc
@churchofengland
are caring for people as physical isolation increases. Praying this Sunday for fresh outbreak of
#CommunitySpirit
#GiftOfPhone
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I'm the least hardy person ever but I can now say I've swam in the Thames.
It was cold.
Might go back in 😅
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My three year old's drawing is filling my heart tonight.
Easter is coming ✝️
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Took my daughter to a soldering workshop.
Had another participant mansplain electronics to me for the whole hour.
At the very end my daughter says in the most genuine deadpan imaginable, "I think my mum might know this, she used to be a physics teacher you know"
I love her.
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"the analyst should not permit himself to harbour desires, even the desire to cure, since to do so is inimical to psycho-analytical development. Development itself is not an object that can be 'desired'. The painful nature of the dilemma is essential"
- Bion
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@RyderSezLesbos
@hannahldurham
@elsamaemitch
@StaceyDooley
Literally takes a second to Google to see this is fake.
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Baby snapped my glasses. Had to choose new ones juggling three children in the optician. Should have just got replacements of my old ones 😔
On the plus side, it's Friday!
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@KtTup
When I think of people who've prayed in concentration camps, on death row, in warzones, while being crucified etc - I think of the immense privilege I have in being able to pray with my children around me. It's not quiet and calm but it's a haven of peace (and safey).
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Currently convinced the eighteen months of thrice weekly therapy needed to train as a psychoanalytic psychotherapist is just a proxy measure for mental stability.
I'm very much not sure why I'm doing for no actual reason except apparently to lose my mind 😂
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“I explain to my patients that abused children often find it hard to disentangle themselves from their dysfunctional families, whereas children grow away from good, loving parents with far less conflict. After all, isn't that the task of a good parent, to enable the child... 1/2
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Ridiculously dressed grown woman seeking woodcutter to save her from this week's
#WorldBookDay
adventures.
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All my family in Beirut are all right.
Got up the guts to talk to my dad who hasn't spoken to me in five years.
Maybe new beginnings? 🌱
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'Our curate thinks our online services should be more all-age. Can your kids do the prayers for next week's service?'
All my daughter prays for is to be a queen and my son's prayer last night was 'always having warm showers but not hot like lava', what could possibly go wrong?🌋
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Got out of the house.
Now sheepishly returning to bed.
But I did it! 🌄
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When the parcels start arriving after a Twitter fueled book shopping spree
(Looking at
@PoetryofAfter
among others)
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I would just like to point out that my eldest hates eating meat, wants to be vegan, loves animals and gets rid of every cobweb we see so insects don't die. My husband and I were raised vegetarian and hate eating meat...
Nature, not nurture?
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Prayers appreciated. Staying in hospital overnight as daughter has broken her arm and needs an operation or resetting the bone in the operating theatre tomorrow.
Surrounded by a thousand
#NHSheroes
from the paramedics who bought us here to the HCA who makes her laugh 🌈
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'The mother is constantly surprised by what she finds in the richness of her minute to minute context with her own baby' - Winnicott
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@APsychiatrist2
I'd rather work with the first kid a million times over. So much more material!
But then again I am unmedicated 🙃
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Seeing yesterday's Christingle on the churchwarden's fresh grave broke me today.
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