Dan Reilly
@DanReilly92
Followers
864
Following
703
Media
3,834
Statuses
34,213
Marge, there’s a spider near my car keys
Manchester
Joined March 2009
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#2024MAMAVOTE
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Pinned Tweet
Looks like he’s about to get 3 years for looting a Greggs
Cole Palmer entering the PFA awards
Could he win both PFA player of the year and young player of the year tonight?
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The police on their way to Tommy Fury’s house after receiving calls about him breaking Molly Mae’s heart
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One of my all time favourite clips of Sean Lock is his impressions of Michael Jackson when it was rumoured he was moving to Devon.
He literally carried 8 out of 10 Cats, incredibly funny.
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I’ve watched Ben White shove Curtis Jones to the ground and Jorginho tell the ref outright to fuck off and I’ve not seen a yellow card
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Best thing about the Barclaysmen trend is seeing nerds like this expose themselves as losers
You don’t miss 2000s Barclays. You miss being a kid and watching sports without responsibilities. You miss coming home from school and playing FIFA with your friends. You miss watching sports free of Twitter agendas.
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It’s a shame Gary Neville isn’t a woman because Joey Barton would be having a field day tonight
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Very much enjoying the videos of people thick enough to drive their expensive cars into flooded roads, thinking it’s invincible, then it coming out the other side absolutely fucked.
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Me watching The One Show tonight
BREAKING: Jermaine Jenas has been fired by the BBC and taken off air from both Match of the Day and The One Show following complaints about "inappropriate behaviour," The Sun report.
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Stanley Johnson you nasty, horrible, islamophobic prick. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree does it.
#GeneralElection2019
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You can’t even carry out instructions with malicious intent of harming, silencing & ultimately destroying the family of a Saudi ex-intelligence chief or sign Dominic Solanke these days.
Bloody big 6 cartel!
🚨 EXCLUSIVE
Newcastle chair Yasir Al Rumayyan faces $74m lawsuit for allegedly “having carried out instructions” of Saudi Crown Prince MBS, with “malicious intent” of “harming, silencing & ultimately destroying” family of Saudi ex-intelligence chief
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Every single NQ bar: ‘We’re a one of a kind!’
Also every single NQ bar:
A Californian surf & skate-inspired bar has just opened in NQ. 🌊🏄♂️
Get your knackered pair of Vans and your long, flowing surf hair ready… the NQ has a new bar inspired by the halcyon days of skating and surfing.
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Some of us preferred watching Portsmouth v Blackburn instead of reading an article about Thomas Frank’s hybrid field tilt on the Athletic
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@JamieHComedy
Piers Morgan calling al-Qaeda evil and the dark fruits lads quoting it saying ‘don’t usually agree with Piers Morgan but he’s spot on here 👏👏’
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Wouldn’t have bothered watermarking this mate
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Jorginho: FUCK OFF
John Brooks: 🥹
Harvey Elliott: *Waves arms*
John Brooks:
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Everton always there ffs
Newcastle, Chelsea, and Everton were the only three clubs that acted as witnesses in favour of
#ManCity
against the Premier League! 🚨‼️
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Can’t believe I’ve just heard Free Love Freeway on an advert for Freeview. Makes me want to watch all of The Office again straight away. ‘She’s dead’ She’s not dead!
@rickygervais
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Rickie Lambert walking past a body of water
Apparently Rickie Lambert thinks you can talk water clean
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@FutSovereign
@ImADuckQuackk
Score 50 goals with Bronze goalkeepers in FUT Champions wins. Starts Monday, ends Thursday.
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@Tazzzzzyy
@SkySportsNews
The audacity to call it tragic when you’ve got your tiktok pinned to your profile hahaha
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When you’ve not paid a gas bill in 18 years
Olympic Gold Medalist Bradley Wiggins (L) and Paul Weller arrive as The Stone Roses perform a secret gig at adidas Underground in London, England (2012)
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@craiglcfc
@LFC
Comparing an old monarch dying of old age who’s benefitted your life in no way whatsoever to 97 football fans unlawfully killed?
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Very rare to see this level of tailoring nowadays, even on the wealthy. So let's talk about some of the reasons why it's great. 🧵
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@BeardedGenius
Not just football twitter, there’s also ‘men who shouldn’t be allowed within 100 yards of women’ twitter who’ve always got a bad take to share on days like today
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@FPLMate
I’m not having the Park Ji Sung shouts, he was good, but not as good as Son has been in the last few years. Think people are looking back nostalgically there!
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@Chris24OToole
@henrywinter
Laziest opinion in football. Just admit you just watch football highlights on Twitter and move on
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@samstreetwrites
Simunic getting 3 yellows against Australia at World Cup 2006 deserves a mention
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@chrishughes_22
The billionaires are sat on unnecessary wealth whilst they don’t even offer their employees the living wage, that’s the issue!
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Favourite part of
@Haveawordpod
’s latest lock in is Adam & Dan having a deep conversation about such a hard topic and
@SenseiCarl_
’s acknowledged every word sat like this
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@Independent
Any nutritionist that suggests eating 500 calories a day is definitely not a nutritionist
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That last task was absolute bullshit! How on earth are you gonna get all 3 of them in 90 seconds?!
#ImACelebrity2019
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They’re the one shining light in this ever diminishing world, leave the Famileigh alone
I’ve trawled the archives this morning in an attempt to pin-point the spark that lit the fuse of the societal collapse we’re witnessing right now and I’m fairly certain it’s here…
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Sterie/Joker/Jigsaw
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Getting better with age, what a player.
Robert Lewandowski completes his 14th Bayern Munich hat-trick!!
What a goal it is too 👏
#DerKlassiker
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Newcastle fans telling the mannequin in the club shop about the injustice of the Barclaysmen World Cup
Clear warning given. Clear warning ignored. NEurovision shall not pass.
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Is this Ibrox?
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Bald people reminiscing after reading this tweet
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@mrsnodes
@FurnessGirl
My Dad was a duty manager there until about 10 years ago (I also worked in the M&S as a teenager). Managed to take me up there a couple of times, not much going on up there since the closure! He often took pictures from the top!
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@SuppressedSikh
School rumours were unrivalled before everyone had the internet on their phone
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Moreno has tried that 200 times this season, about time one went in
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@EGaraad_
@thetimes
@C4Dispatches
@RosamundUrwin
@char_wace
@pmorganbentley
You lot brag about freedom of thought but buy into Brand’s lies hook, line and sinker.
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@danielstorey85
Him when the electricity goes out and realises he can’t call things woke on the internet
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Union Jack twitter doing absolutely nothing other than making themselves look divorced in the quote tweets and proving her dissertation subject is spot on. Hope you get a 1st
@tsrbys
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