@FrizFrizzle
A wedding is literally the perfect time for an old lady to suddenly have blue hair. It's new, it's blue, and she's old. That's all three of wedding things.
@PunishedAG
Homeless man: "Spare some change?"
Me, an intellectual: "Oh, I have some change, some life change!" *Pulls out The Little Engine That Could*
@SmoothDunk
Did you see the parts where he says "Earth will remember" and "Earth will be the judge" about Twitter collapsing without the ads from Disney and Apple? One of the funniest things he's ever said.
@SteakFrankhouse
I read his book, it was not great. There was a part where he wrote about being home from the war and trying to spend time with his kids but they were afraid of him. He couldn't understand why they didn't love, respect, and obey him.
@finngalkn
I love floral patterns, I have so many nice floral shirts.
And am I cis? Am I trans? Am I non-binary? The GCs don't know, and it doesn't matter to me because either way I'm adorable.
@HowtoADHD
Rabbits cannot vomit because they do not have a gag reflex, or the stomach muscles to do so.
Rabbits and Hares are different species entirely despite looking alike, and cannot breed with eachother.
@Mossworm1
There's a thing called 'Deep Sea Gigantism', which means stuff is bigger in the deeper you go, but there's the less talked about 'Ocean Bottom Cutiefication' which makes things super cute way on down there.
@billybrizzle420
Last job I had the tech guy didn't know that Windows and Macs use different operating systems, and therefore, different software applications. His solution to buying the wrong software constantly was to change the extension from .exe to .dmg. He worked there for like 10 years.