Cletus (third leg) Johnson
@CletusJohn50
Followers
474
Following
210
Media
87
Statuses
863
Underwater Welding Apprentice
Kappa Kappa Coke Room
Joined November 2023
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Pinned Tweet
I’m down -430 sports betting… I am seriously fucked. I have 70 dollars in my bank account and I need that for alcohol this weekend. Need some serious suggestions on what the fuck to do.
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@bobby_on_mars
Not 70 left. I am -430 and I have 70 dollars to my name. I was betting with money I don’t have. I have 120 dollars left of balance.
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Associate of mine calling the womp store trying to “Haggle” on the pricing.
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@tombstone_frank
Work deez nutz. Cletus is an entrepreneur. I don’t fall for your corporate schemes.
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Thinking about getting a set of these for my wedding day in case they’re sold out when the time comes.
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Me and buddy both lost our right flops at the tavern and he doesn’t have shoes. So he’s walking around the island like this.
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Me if kicking ass, scoring with chicks, cranking hog, and rocking out became illegal.
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Does “hammerlord102” aka the pizza man just sit in his room and crank it to the ugakappa instagram all day?
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Do people up north order whiskey pepsi in the bar?
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The biggie bag is one of the better deals of all time.
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Left agenda is trying to get me to “remove” my wisdom teeth. Yeah okay no chance. I don’t fall for your schemes.
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I’ve never seen someone threaten a live dealer. But game is game brian.
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Anyone else think Caitlin Clark is hot and kind of want to bone her. Or just me?
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About to stop wearing underwear no point in it. The left doesn’t want you to let your johnson breathe.
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X is awesome, because I can get drunk and say whatever I want. But when I get drunk on snapchat and ask a girl to have sex with me. It becomes an issue.
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Sigma pi is foaming at the mouth at the sheer talent of devin mason
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Can someone tell my professor to shut the fuck up. I’m trying to watch the masters.
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Whoever looked this up on my phone is a fucking freak. I mean who does that. Super uncool.
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Been hiding from my date in the double bathroom for close to 30 minutes.
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Where does one find a Sunday girlfriend that cooks and doesn’t speak?
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The show goes on by lupe fiasco. Has allowed me to run through any brick wall ever put in my way.
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Anyone think it’d be frowned upon to ask for a cup full of liquor at this country club brunch.
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Why can chicks get free tampons and shit at places. But I can’t get free beer. I need it far more then they do.
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Just ate 3 packs of ramen gonna crawl in bed and watch east bound and down. Anyone mind?
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My date left me for another dude in the tavern last night after I paid for her dinner and drinks.
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I’ll have time to slap it, but I won’t have time to flip it and rub it down. Translation I don’t know if both of us are gonna cum.
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@DTrucksBurner
@joeybadass001
A black drug dealer is not someone I want to play pool with. Duane
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Fell down the stairs at the tavern last night. In front of a bunch of hot chicks. Friggin pisssed.
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I always hate myself the day after, but my fuck I love to be a retard when I get on the liquor.
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70 percent sure I just shit myself. Scared to check.
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Foodacris just had to cancel the space because he could not stop saying the “n word” and talking about all his gay conquests
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Called a girl sexy in the bar last night. And blamed it on my buddy. Gonna start doing that more often. She fucking hated it also
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Spotted this sketchy fella on a Harley in dalonega. Is this one yours Cletus
Cc, Cletus Calhoun
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What do you mean I can’t comment nice tits on her instagram it’s a fucking compliment.
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Seems like buddy Joey has developed a “Rash” on his rod after a long night.
CC, Joey
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What if I don’t want to reply to 2 classmates. Go fuck yourself
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Some guys ask girls what sorority they’re in. some guys ask girls what their name is. I ask them what country club their fathers a member at.
#Priorities
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Riley green sucks fucking ass at making music.
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Associate of mine Clint asked a girl “if she was still hooping” she played her freshman year of junior trade school. And now she’s 21. Ha she won’t be talking to him again
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Beers aren’t doing their job right now. Tired not drunk.
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Onward reserve
Costas
Olukai flops
American Express
Cablez
Smathers and branson
Trojan
Seeing lots of disparity here, a true list looks something like this:
Pete Mill
Mastercard
Imperial
Yeti
Clubman
Toyota
HM :
VIZIO
Sport mode Crocs
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Just received a photo of my friend walking around milledge like a homeless guy at 5 am (EST) with a tank in hands.
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Made it back to my trailer. Buddies John, Richard, Joey, and Darryl did y’all make it back to your trailers
CC: John Richard Joey and Darryl
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Went to go workout and could not find a parking spot. Now on the way to the liquor store. At least I tried.
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Just spent 94 dollars on 2 thirty rack and 3 packs of zyns. I mean what the fuck is this inflation. Do I just venmo request biden how does this work?
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Glad to see my hometown buddies mom again. Wonder if she misses me as much as I missed her.
#milf
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I’m getting yelled at for playing nickleback at the pregame in my own trailer. In a room full of liberals it seems.
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Might “accidentally” do a K bump or two tonight.
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Was told Cletus had to wait 20 minutes for his supper by the hostess. Cletus waited an hour. And when he was sat the waiter took 15 minutes for a drink. Will be dining and dashing thanks.
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Running on the end of the treadmill so I can stare at the chicks next to me’s ass.
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