@imshanereaction
I was calling my brother for hours after a bombing in central London, I knew he was going near there. Turns out he was in the cinema, heard a 'boom' and thought it was part of the movie, then walked past the police cordons without giving it a second thought.
My Mother died in my arms last night. I told her everything was ok, she could rest and get some sleep. And she did. And that's ok. I am surprisingly ok.
Matteo Salvini attempted a coup to force elections and it backfired, as the rest of the Italian Parliament united against him. His poll numbers then plummeted. Will Boris Johnson end up doing the same? If you're going to play dictator, make sure you've got power first.
@Lapsedcat
When I worked briefly in an office, they mocked me for 'knowing things' like the Ivory Coast was in Africa. So one day someone said: "Right, if you're so clever, what is Venezuela the Capital of?"
He thought it was the Capital of Argentina.
@MichaelPDeacon
@euanmccolm
When a few complaints from punters and venue staff can get someone banned after working the Fringe for 30 years, we have crossed into dangerous territory.
@edfringe
Release a statement on why Jerry Sadowitz's show was cancelled tonight by the
@ThePleasance
- it has come to this, the Edinburgh Fringe cancels one of its longest-running performers because of a few complaints. COWARDS.
@MrNishKumar
There is another CNN reporter a block away doing the same reports. He said he's been treated very politely. He's somewhat... paler than the guy who got arrested.
@james_blue_cat
Oh darling.
I remember in the ambulance telling my mother that her third heart attack was frankly being a bit repetitive and she agreed.
How is it possible that someone can go to the police, confess to killing someone and then just take it back with no further questions asked?
#Dispatches
#PeteDohertyWhoKilledMySon
@melhugsopera
@ExcelPope
He's not racist, because he hates ALL races, including himself, so it's all meaningless. If you hate literally everyone, then nobody is singled out.
@HammettJeremy
@bluescratch70
@Baddiel
Lost my Dad last month. He insisted bringing his saxophone along was sufficient ID for the bank. "Well you couldn't play it and I can, so it's me." Technically true...
@swansonian
Have you ever seen his son? Absolute spitting image. He changed his name to get away from it, but doesn't work, he looks, moves and smiles just like him.
Cowards. COWARDS!
“The Pleasance is a venue that champions freedom of speech and we do not censor comedians’ material."
What do you call cancelling his show? What do you call knowing full well this is Jerry Sadowitz's entire schtick for 30-more years?
In case people haven't seen it,
@sparksofficial
contributed to a Guy Maddin film with a stirring tale of a fellow plagued by bottoms. Looking forward to the sequels, where a man will suffer the scourge of cleavage and be taunted by a shapely ankle.
@HelenKennedy
Local Italian report talks to experts, says they were always there, just not as visible because of all the boat activity, plus expanded this time due to lack of fishing. These are baby mullets, apparently.
@Baddiel
I am no Carr fan, but seeing it in context, no it isn't. This is basically a comedy lecture, he then explains why the joke works. It's not far from Stewart Lee's Hammond routine
Similarly, this is a perfect explanation and example.
@MooseAllain
It's like the scene Paul Merton described, about to walk round a windy corner, he saw a hat roll past, followed by a wig, followed by a running bald man.
Interesting thing about Salvini: He is getting heckled nowadays with people singing 'Bella Ciao' - the anthem of the anti-Fascist resistance during WWII. The fact he gets really upset by this is TELLING. Also got police to remove banner that just said: 'Love thy neighbour.'
#Sparkstember
Went to The Sparks Brothers for
@darklonelywater
birthday. Neither of us expected me to be flying off to the Hollywood Bowl to see them 3 years later, having made so many great new friends in this fandom. For that, thank you
@sparksofficial
.
I feel like Lottie would make a great co-presenter with Noel Fielding. Her sarcasm perfectly cuts into his whimsy. With Matt there's just a whimsy overload.
#GBBO
Oh and another thing - getting his cock out was NOT one of the things the Pleasance complained to Jerry Sadowitz about or gave as a reason for the cancellation. So that was an afterthought they figured would play in the press. As you were.
Original ticket to taping of Harry Hill’s Channel 4 series, when we had no idea Burt Kwouk would turn up or
@almurray
or badgers, because it was the first ep.
Such a wonderful monologue. The importance of listening to others, of ensuring you have convictions and not just conventions. Rather than diversity, celebrate our own uniqueness and therefore the uniqueness of every individual. I love it all.
#DrusillaFoer
#Sanremo2022
@RevDaniel
@avyargo
Stephen Colbert teaches Sunday School and can regularly quote parts of The Bible. I assume most self-appointed American Christians can't say that.
Just going to sit here on my gloat float that I always thought Russell Brand was a pompous, self-centred twat who mistook using long words for intelligence. Basically, a Mockney Boris Johnson.
#Dispatches
Sparks on the first night of their tour in Oxford, when they suddenly realised taking a bow also requires rehearsal. There's always something you forget, eh
@sparksofficial
? "Like the big bands do."
So much lovely art for Ron Mael's birthday. My gift is not respect and admiration for
@sparksofficial
music - he gets plenty of that.
It is what every man turning *redacted* wants to hear: that he is to this day lusted after by women of all ages. Congratulations!
My one contribution to
#Sparkstember
is this appeal:
Ronpunzel, Ronpunzel, let down your hair!
Remember folks, the No 1 in Heaven hairstyle is STILL THERE. It's just hidden by gel and a cruel comb. So let it run free, Ron!
#Ronpunzel
#Sparkstember2023
I mean...
@leirin_
has gone above and beyond the call of duty here.
I said I wanted a Ron Mael doll so I could tuck him in my cleavage and here is the artist's impression. Hey Sparks merchandise people, you know what to do...
(he looks pleased. or is about to pass out)
@MrMichaelSpicer
I can say I followed you when you were just a funny bloke on Twitter. You still are, but now have a far more complicated tax form to fill out. x
I know it will seem silly to some, but my dog died about an hour before the
#Sparks
gig and I held it together until having a weep during No 1 Song in Heaven. That would be a lovely thing to be greeted by in the afterlife.
@JimMFelton
I am still trying to forget Gyles Brandreth saying John Major was a gentleman because when he had a bath with Edwina, he sat with his back to the taps.
@michaelsheen
@LeenaSFarhat
If you are looking for a reason to cancel someone, maybe just try ignoring them instead. It's much healthier for all concerned.
@harrisonjbrock
I miss this show so much. Also, I genuinely heard the song with 'I like to play my bongos in the morning' - it was on as mood music in a shopping mall.
Happy Birthday Ron Mael! As you turn *redacted*, we really need you to reveal your skincare routine, because those of us decades younger still can't seem to get your amazing glow. Oh, and Ronpunzel, let your hair run free from its gel prison!
@sparksofficial