Carl Hutchinson
@CPHutchinson
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Instagram: Carl_Hutchinson_Comedy TikTok: carlhutchinsoncomedy
Joined August 2010
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We’ve told her she’s going to be a big sister. Don’t think she’s that bothered.
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Hey I don’t want to trivialise anything here. But if you’re (like me) feeling down, depressed, anxious, low, worthless, powerless, useless or all of the above. Just know it took a worldwide pandemic to bring you down. You’re strong! This is your test of strength. Good luck. Xx
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Well there’s not many copy’s of
@IAmChrisRamsey
&
@Rosemarino
SMA Book left at Regent Centre Gosforth Asda so I’ve helped them along and signed one of them, friend of the podcast. No need to thank me.
-hands were/are sanitised.
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Well like a jerk I didn’t take a photo of
@IAmChrisRamsey
who popped down to the
@StandNewcastle
@StandComedyClub
to do a new set! He’s also bought the whole crowd a drink what a great end to the weekend!
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Hi
@IAmChrisRamsey
I already live in Newcastle but I’ll just have the money you would have spent on the hotel. Thanks
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It’s the real quality time with my mate
@iamchrisramsey
that I’ve missed. So good to be back on tour with him.
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Had a great day today, Robin & Chris took me swimming THEN the park. Cheers lads.
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Well well well. Heading home now, just a slack 1hr50mins in the capital to do a 25min open for Chris Ramsey at the Hammersmith Apollo!
He’ll be on now tearing it up! What a great crowd, so happy this is all back 🙂
Thank you!!
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Thank you very much
@NetflixUK
for Sister Sister! Can we complete the full Nickleodeon schedule from when I was 11 please? I’m talking Rugrats, Hey Arnold! Keenan & Kel, Are You Affraid Of The Dark? Sabrina, Alex Mac, Renford Rejects! Please!! :)
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Very excited to be a part of this...
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First show back in Milton Keynes last night. I threw the mic over my shoulder to clap someone who was celebrating their 18th birthday. I missed and hit myself in the balls with the mic. First minute back onstage 🙂
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On a rare day off on tour, scheduling means we would be travelling all day anyway, we elected for the first time in 10 years of touring to have the day to ourselves. In what we’re calling a Hen Night, this is how I greeted Chris to ask what time we’re meeting downstairs.
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You know, it’s very easy to forget that other people are still working through all this. Take my wife for example..
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Why is cancelling your bank card the only sure way to find your bank card?
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Get in mate!!
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Haven’t seen my daughter for 10 minutes but Bluey is great, isn’t it?!
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What a difference a year makes. 19 tour date to 57, with 19 advance sell outs. Thank you all very much for coming to the shows!
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YES MATE!!!
We're definitely not on the fence about
@IAmChrisRamsey
and
@karen_hauer
's Charleston, it brought the whole house down! 🏡
#Strictly
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Thank you to the lovely American family who paid for our bar tab secretly.
All I did was phone them a taxi when the restaurant informed them they could not. Completely unnecessary but very much appreciated!
It’s to be nice :)
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“You’re acting the bollocks” is tremendous, I’ve honestly never heard that before, and well, I think I’ll be saying that from now.
From Yesterday...an attempt by a cyclist to set up an accident
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If you didn’t look like this when you were a child then you did Halloween wrong.
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Just been reminded that time I said to my mates “I’ll make the sausage sandwiches” while drunk on a stag do at 3am
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Finally got to celebrate our anniversary / Father’s Day / birthday. The weather held off and we had a lovely SD BBQ
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Yes!!
@Rosemarino
@IAmChrisRamsey
@CPHutchinson
@IAmChrisRamsey
@Rosemarino
Look what I picked up this morning. That's 2 signed SMA books iv got now 🤣. All to a good cause 😘
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NEWCASTLE that was amazing thank you very very much!!!
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If those were your wedding bells waking me up. I hope you get divorced very soon.
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Tomorrow night in my home town of Newcastle I’m at a sold-out Tyne Theatre. To make it extra special we’ve got a crew in recording the whole thing. Cant wait. Thanks to all who’ve made this possible. :)
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Newcastle Arena, was a pleasure to open for Chris fir a third time at this wonderful venue.
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To all the “two finger” haters from yesterday. And for the overall abuse (including heckled in the street!)…
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My hangover formula:
Your Age divided by 10
Subtract 1
= how many days it takes you to get over a sesh
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Undercover Boss USA:
I understand you want to go to university? I’d like to pay for it all, oh and here is a deposit for a house, while I’m here, here’s a car.
Undercover Boss UK:
Here is a £5 WH Smith voucher. And you’ve got to share that with Derek.
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I certainly bought my costume too early this year, but happy Halloween anyway
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And if you didn’t pull a stupid face as a child, you did travelling to London wrong.
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He’s not getting rid of me that easy! (....yes I’ll be on the tour!)
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Dear
@GreggsOfficial
big fan, but stop putting the napkin in with the sandwich, it goes straight in the bin and is no use to anyone.
Yours, sauce-hands
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About 6 weeks into that diet now.
Just eating sensible 6/7 days then eat n drink what you like 1 day a week.
Nothing after 8pm. Again, on that day off it’s no holds barred.
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@holly
This was a gift from a family who didn’t want her and I’m thankful for her every day :)
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Had a mad one last Saturday with this lot. Out till 1am we were...
@jasonmarkcook
@scottbcomedyuk
@IAmChrisRamsey
@Thephilellis
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Neither of us are prepared to give up on this shit joke.
5
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35 today. Just knocked out 24:32 on the tremolo 5k which is ok, but the best I’ve done for about a year. Thanks Trevor for the new top. It’s been “christened”
Oh aye thanks for the well wishes. Much appreciated.
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I think it’s a big thank you to
@MissAlexjones
for making it so enjoyable for me! Thank you very much
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Alright I’m calling it! Goes to pens, every single player takes one and it’s even. In an unprecedented move, a decision is made where both managers must take a penalty. Southgate wins it for England. The ultimate redemption story.
Anyone want to give me odds? :)
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I searched the whole house for my cat, she was hiding in the spare room bed. Awww
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NEWCASTLE! So excited to be the first one back at the TYNE THEATRE & OPERA HOUSE :)
We're SO excited to announce our first show (with an audience!) since March. Carl Hutchinson is bringing an hour of stand-up to our stage on Sat 10 Oct 🎤😂
Tickets on-sale Mon 7th Sept (in social bubbles of 2 or 4 seats)
More details & safety info:
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Skills I’ve learned in Lockdown?
I can now take all day to get out of bed, make a cup of tea and empty the dishwasher.
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Finally...a happy ending :)
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TONIGHT!
Seen this 106 times on tour, gonna make it 107 tonight.
LIVE FROM NEWCASTLE METRO RADIO ARENA!
Get in mate.
TOMORROW.
@ComedyCentralUK
10pm.
My new stand up special recorded at Newcastle Arena.
Here's a sneak peek
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For anyone taking notes, this is the Nottingham branch where I got caught doing the cookies.
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This is a fantastic interview hahaha
Sam Fender appearing on BBC Breakfast with a raging hangover is the only video you need to watch today.
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For anyone who thinks I give my parents a hard time about the dog. This is where my degree used to be.
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Comedy is an artform and deserves to be treated as such. Without access to financial support comedy will not exist as we know it.
Sign the open letter to stop comedy being forgotten by government arts funding:
It's time to
#SaveLiveComedy
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I’ve got a socially distanced show planned soon for MIDDLEBROUGH! Will announce on finalised...
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Family reunion via Houseparty tonight, so I wanted to make the effort.
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Very happy and excited to say I'll be on
@IAmChrisRamsey
's
#Standupcentral
tonight at 10pm on
@ComedyCentralUK
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Anyone who’s seen my show this year- hope you appreciate the present I got for my mam n dad.
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I somehow knocked a gate open, couldn’t close it, on the phone and didn’t realise I could put my pint down.
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How good is ARBROATH? I do a “bit” about how when my house was being done up I was desperate and had to “go” in a bin bag. Last night, I autographed my first bin bag.
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This was the dressing room they tried to give me in BEDFORD. I will now be sharing with Chris.
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At 9:30pm I said to Sophie ”I’ll come to bed soon, this won’t take long”. 2 hrs later and … AND THATS THE BOTTOM LINE! COS STONE COLD SAID SO
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Here is the bar at the arena I worked at 7 years ago. Playing it tonight.
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NEWCASTLE ARENA! That was fantastic! Thank you all so much. Here is the link for my show at The TYNE THEATRE. See ya there
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Well I can say after that it’s wonderful to know I haven’t forgot how to do this. Thank you all.
Gonna read and reply to all your comments over the weekend. Oh and there’s like 3 zoom tickets left for the March show so thanks so much again.
Oh I’m gonna enjoy this...
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I’d like to thank
@BrennanReece
@reed_mat
@Thegavinwebster
@r_jacz
@IAmChrisRamsey
@Thephilellis
@scottbcomedyuk
@LouiseYoung_
@AnthYoung83
and everyone at
@StandNewcastle
@StandComedyClub
for bringing back stand up comedy to Newcastle over the last few weeks. I’ve loved it :)
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WOW! Was not expecting that reaction thank you all so much to all who’ve just bought tickets!! So there’s no confusion here’s the dates too :)
Thank you!!
All dates
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Cheers RUBY from STOCKTON! Good luck becoming a qualified Guide Dog! :)
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Hey
@IAmChrisRamsey
’s new material is rubbing off on me already. Taking slippers on a stag do!!
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Thank you very much Nicola from the fire service for the 1st vaccine! Was in the shower 10mins ago, got it on a free transfer. Gosforth Race Course have got it down! Waited longer for a Bic Mac
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**PLEASE LIKE & RT**
This FRIDAY we are LIVE at the TYNE THEATRE & OPERA HOUSE NEWCASTLE
8pm TWITCH
@IAmChrisRamsey
@laurenpattison
@Thegavinwebster
@SteffenPeddie
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Woman in Asda: ID?
Me: You've made my day, I'm 29.
Woman: (Looking closer)Aaah yeah, sorry it's the end of my shift and my eyes are tired.
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Thanks again NEWCASTLE for last night, loved every moment of it. Well done again to
@IAmChrisRamsey
. What a night.
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