Chris Ramsey
@IAmChrisRamsey
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Stand Up Comedian 🎤 One half of #ShaggedMarriedAnnoyed 🎧
Joined February 2009
All every Dad wants for Christmas is for his family to keep the wrapping paper together and put it in the bin bag he has placed in the middle of the room.
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I had a Cadbury’s Double Decker for the first time EVER yesterday. I always assumed it had raisins and orange in it. It doesn’t. It’s glorious. It’s like a Toffee Crisp had sex with a Boost. And now I have to come to terms with the fact that I’ve basically wasted my life.
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Someone needs to invent a toaster that delays the toasting of the second slice by the amount of time it takes you to butter the first.
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Guys, it’s been absolutely epic! .I can’t thank you all enough for the support you’ve given me @bbcstrictly . Massive congrats to @EmmaBarton @kayzer_1 and @kelvin_fletcher - going to be an incredible final! . And all the thanks in the world to @karen_hauer. You’re a legend mate!.
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The love coming in here is unreal guys. Thank you so much. We are over the moon and so excited to see Robin as a big brother! .Thanks again. It means a lot x.
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Being 34 is treating yourself to a birthday morning Twix but having to eat it over the bin in the back room in case your child comes in and demands some of it.
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Ever got out of your pyjamas, had a shower then just put on a slightly nicer set of pyjamas for the day?.
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QUARTER FINAL!!! . 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯. Thank you all SO SO MUCH for keeping me and @karen_hauer in this competition with your sweet sweet votes! . We are both overjoyed and absolutely stunned! Thank you! @bbcstrictly.
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Say it ain’t so.I will not go.Turn the lights off.Carry me home
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Nights out in you’re 20’s: .“Gary’s getting the shots in. LEGEND!”. Nights out in your 30’s:.“Gary, stop buying shots. What’s wrong with you? I’ve got to put a shed up tomorrow”.
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Cheers for the lovely tweets guys! .I’m absolutely flabbergasted. Thought the judges would be getting rid of me first chance they got! 🤯.
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Well, I danced in front of people. for the first time ever ✅ .I didn’t fall over ✅ .I remembered the routine ✅ .I sorted my face out ✅ . just got to get the rest of the body in check for next week now! . Thanks for all the love guys xxx .@bbcstrictly.
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Can we just take a minute to celebrate the fact that a professional dancer who has been trying to teach me to dance for 3 months hasn’t attempted to murder me? In fact, we’re mates now!.
A few words about a bloke I met a few months ago. @IAmChrisRamsey @bbcstrictly #strictly #strictlycomedancing #SMA . 🌻🐻
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Big shoutout to my Dad who wheeled me into A and E today with my broken ankle while singing “Never gonna dance again”. Cheers Billy! 🕺🏼.
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I’m sorry, but healthy breakfasts can absolutely do one. “Ooooh I could smell that muesli from upstairs!” - said no one EVER.
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Dear hotels,.We want to be able to actually move the duvet. Not climb into the bed like it’s a fucking envelope. Thanks .Chris .X.
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So yes… The BBC have only went and given me and Rosie a TV series. It’ll be a chat show and it’ll be on next year! (And it’ll be after the watershed, OBVS).
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Well. you all did it again!! . Thank you SO MUCH for voting! . Me and @karen_hauer are over the moon! . Onto week 10. WEEK 10?! ME?! Wtf?!.
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Went to sleep at 8:15pm last night and woke up at 6:30am. That’s what learning two dances in one week will do to you! . It’s the semi final today! @bbcstrictly . As if we made it this far @karen_hauer?! WTF?! 🕺🏼💃.
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We might have just had a baby, but there is STILL a brand new episode of #ShaggedMarriedAnnoyed out today! . Thanks for all the lovely messages and comments, really means the world. Rosie and Rafe are doing great and Robin is very excited to meet his little brother 🥰. Big love x.
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Going to take every fibre of my being not to make a ‘semi’ joke this week. I’ll try my best, though. But it’s going to get hard. Ah shit.
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Morning! . Thanks for all of your lovely comments on here. Still can’t believe we’re into the quarter final! .What a ride! 🕺🏼💃🤯. Musicals week this week. consider us, well in! . (That’s a clue by the way).
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You beautiful lot did it again!!!.We’re through to Blackpool! .Me and @karen_hauer absolutely love you all!! .Thank you so much for voting!.
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YES DEC! Thanks so much mate!.
Well I never thought I’d hear #LetsGetReadyToRhumble on #Strictly! 😂 .Oh @IAmChrisRamsey, you nailed it man! What a belter!.D.
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Christmas holidays are nuts. I woke up at 3am needing some Gaviscon, then got up at 7am vowing never to drink or eat rubbish again. Now after a coffee and a bowl of cereal I’m eyeing up the stuffing, cheese and turkey while wondering what time is acceptable to have a beer.
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So many people just clapped there. could hear it all through the streets! Lifted my spirits right up! . Thank you @NHSuk.We love you 😘.
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So this happened today. *Mam phones me* . Mam- Chris, I’ve had an email saying my PayPal account has been suspended due to strange activity?! What should I do? . Me- I didn’t know you had a PayPal account? . Mam- I don’t. Me- Don’t worry about it then 🤦🏼♂️.
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I used a naughty word earlier when attacking ticket touts. A couple of people have expressed their disappointment at the use of that word. Please replace that word in your head with ‘Silly Billys’ when you read it. Also, if that word upsets you. Don’t come to the tour 👋🏻.
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Toddler son woke up at 4am saying it was time to get up. I kept telling him it was still dark and he began repeatedly shouting “IT’S NOT DARK!” .His rant was interrupted when he walked into a wall. because of the darkness. Idiot.
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YES!! .Thank you all so so much for voting for me and @karen_hauer. So chuffed you all enjoyed the routine! We’re past the halfway point! Onto week 8!! @bbcstrictly.
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YOU DID IT!! .Thanks so much for voting guys. We won!! Listeners choice @britpodawards #ShaggedMarriedAnnoyed.
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Mate, a lady in Greggs on Monday was ASTOUNDED that I’d “made it back from the jungle so quickly” 🤦🏼♂️.
When u r stopped in the shops and asked if u r the dancer off the tv??? Dancing on ice???? 🙈🤣🤣🤣.
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Thank you all SO SO SO BLOODY MUCH for voting for me and @karen_hauer this week! . I’ll be back next week with a new dance, less basketball hands and hopefully a better face during the results. no promises though. Big love guys .xxx.
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Can’t keep up with these lovely tweets guys. Thanks so much for the support! That was a pure joy tonight. Let’s hope that keeps us in another week! .Big love x.
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So much love coming in. Means the world guys! I know I’m not a born dancer but I’m trying me best, getting immersed in the experience and having a proper laugh too. Thanks for voting if you did! .Let’s see what happens tomorrow. I’m off to wash this slick out of my hair! 🕺🏼.
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Just want to say, whatever happens this weekend, support on here has been incredible. In any moments of exhaustion or frustration, I’d read some lush tweets from you lot and start to feel instantly better. Thank you. But voting opens at 20:20 tonight! .
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Wonder if Boris will be this late when he’s working in cyber?.
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It’s just dawned on me that you’re all going to see me dance tomorrow. .
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It’s honestly so nice reading tweets that say #ShaggedMarriedAnnoyed kept people going during all this shit. It was sometimes really bloody hard to gather the strength to sit down and do it. But we’re really glad you all enjoyed it, and that it helped ❤️.
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Morning all. Thanks so much for all the nice messages flooding in. Can’t believe I’ve made it to the semi finals! . Huge love and respect to @AlexScott, what a brilliant human you are mate. It’s been a pleasure!.
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There’s a pandemic going on, but there has been something really ugly going on for a lot longer. I can’t pretend to know what it’s like to be judged because of the colour of your skin but I can take a guess that it’s the fucking worst. Let’s end it. #blacklivesmatter
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Guys. this week. me and @karen_hauer are dancing. STREET DANCE to. LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE!.
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YESSSSSS! . Thank you all so so SOOO much for voting for us! . @karen_hauer @bbcstrictly . 🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼.
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THANK YOU SO SO MUCH to everyone who voted for us this week! .You’re all absolutely lush! .I’ll keep trying to get better and entertain you all best I can! .Big love to @karen_hauer for not murdering me yet! @bbcstrictly.
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Snoring is basically bragging about being asleep, so loudly, that it stops other people from sleeping. It’s like lying there screaming “I’M HAVING A LOVELY SLEEP”.
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Dead.
Congratulations @IAmChrisRamsey on doing the best Beaker impression on @bbcstrictly this year. 😂. #yourmyfavourite #Strictly
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THAT. WAS. INTENSE. Thanks so much to everyone who voted for us! Can’t tell you how much we appreciate it @karen_hauer . Onto Halloween week! @bbcstrictly.
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Hold your heads high boys. You made a nation forget about a global pandemic and brought hope back to our lives. Knighthoods for you all. We love you #ComeOnEngland.
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Always awesome to see just how much I’m holding @karen_hauer back every week. .
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Literally impossible to keep up with all these messages! My phone is going crazy. Thanks so much guys, I need ALL THE LUCK! Keep it coming! #Strictly 🕺.
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As a man, I feel I’d enjoy baths a lot more if my dick didn’t float like a cork. Am I right fellas?!.
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I’ll still be filling in this Census when the next one comes around. Fucking hell.
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Really want to walk to the shop for essentials dressed in a full three piece suit so when the police stop and ask me where I’m going dressed like that I can say “Who are you? The fashion police?!”.
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Had an early night last night. Woke up to my phone going absolutely nuts… I gather it was cement mixer time last night then? #Taskmaster.
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Morning all!.Off up to Blackpool today. Can’t believe I am still in this competition. and it’s all down to you guys! Thanks so much ❤️🕺🏼.
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Filming done @bbcstrictly. Did the interview stuff and the daft messing about with glitter balls and things. didn’t feel as much of a tool as I thought I would! .GREAT SUCCESS! 👍🏻.
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Can’t even begin to attempt to keep up with all the positive, lovely comments on here. Thanks guys, means a lot. I’m miles out of my comfort zone and trying my best. Really appreciate the support!.
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Happy New Year everyone! .Thanks for helping make 2019 one of the best years of my life through your support on strictly and with your love for #ShaggedMarriedAnnoyed.Back to stand up comedy now! .(And SMA will be back next week, don’t worry). I wish you all the best for 2020! X.
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Rosie just said:.“When this is all over we should have a HOUSE party” .And I was nearly sick everywhere.
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It’s remembrance week on @bbcstrictly this week. so me and @karen_hauer are going to be somewhere in the North East this week selling poppies! .I’ll let you know all the details when I get them! You can come down, buy a poppy and say hi!.
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This is possibly as controversial as I'll ever get. Moana is better than Frozen. And 'How far I'll go' is a much better song than 'Let it go'. Thoughts?.
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LIFE MADE!! Thanks lads x.
Huge congratulations to @IAmChrisRamsey on @bbcstrictly tonight. You absolutely smashed it tonight, should feel very proud of yourself! 🔥.
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Heard a kid on the school run say "my tooth fell out on Christmas Day and I got a tenner off the tooth fairy because she didn't have any change".
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UPDATE- they came this morning. I saw them out of the window and ran down the drive in my slippers to give them an extra bin bag. and they only bloody let me THROW IT IN THE BACK OF THE LORRY ALL BY MYSELF!! Then he shouted “you’ve got the job!”.BEST. MORNING. EVER.
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Thanks for all the love from last nights @bbcstrictly launch show! .Honestly can’t wait to get started on the training now. Saying that, I’m pretty sure @karen_hauer is going to make me taste blood. but I’m ready for it! .🕺🏼 💪🏻 ✨ 🚑.
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Big love to @LittleMix for letting me steer the ship. It’s been a pleasure girls! @LMTheSearch.
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Absolutely gutted I won’t be hanging out with my mate @dev_101 every weekend anymore. Big love lad, you’re the best genie 🧞♂️ the dance floor has ever seen!.
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Haha I never thought of that. I danced on every episode of the series. Might get this on a T-shirt.
For a non-dancer, @IAmChrisRamsey danced in every episode of #Strictly how great is that 😍.
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Well. I can’t believe what just happened!! . Please please still vote as you can change everything!. Landline- 090152252 03 . Mobile- 62252 03. You can vote online too at .
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The face I pull when I see the state of the house after the strictly parties.
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Big News!.
Beyond excited to announce @IAmChrisRamsey as the host of @LMTheSearch. South Shields takeover on @BBCOne 😂
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If 2020 was a facial expression.
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HAHAHAHAHAH!.
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Just watching the results show back: there is a good second (maybe two) where Tess says my name and I have no clue that it’s my name! I remember thinking “who’s Chris? Who’s he dancing with?”. What a crazy ride this has been so far. Thank you SO MUCH for voting for me and Karen.
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Thanks for all the lovely comments guys. I poured my soul into that rhumba! (There’s sentence I never thought I’d ever say. ) . Please vote for us if you liked it. 6225203 from a mobile (15p you can vote as many times as you like) . And online- .
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Can I take a moment to thank everyone who has bought tickets today from the bottom of my heart. And, an even bigger thank you to the people who missed out but sent lovely messages of congratulations rather than kicking off. So lush. Means the world #ShaggedMarriedAnnoyedLive.
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I didn’t realise how many of you cunts on here were personally in charge of who got a knighthoods….
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Guys, we are a married couple with a child who will be at school in September. we can’t tour around the entire UK like I do on my solo tour (lads lads lads). So sorry if we aren’t coming to your area, but we would murder each other on a full UK tour. hence the small tour!.
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I might have to change the name of this 2020 tour to:.The “if I keep adding extra dates the extra income will only be used on divorce lawyers anyway” tour .@Rosemarino.
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Here’s the full version of THAT clip from last weeks #thechrisandrosieramseyshow for anyone who missed it….The whole episode is on again TONIGHT on @bbctwo at 10:20pm 📺
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I’ve ate crumpets my whole life and I have absolutely no idea what they are.
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Tango🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥. If you liked it, make sure you vote at the end of the show! @karen_hauer @bbcstrictly.
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Trying to keep up with all the lush comments I’m getting on here. It’s honestly unreal how many of you are behind me. Really appreciate it! .Let’s see how this week goes eh? .🕺🏼.
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New #ShaggedMarriedAnnoyed in the morning bebe . New #ShaggedMarriedAnnoyed in the morning ma darlin’.
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First day of @bbcstrictly training done! I’m still alive. She didn’t kill me. So that’s a win in my book! @karen_hauer.
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Thanks for all the @Catchphrase love guys. You’re making me all emotional here! . The @CustomsHouseLP is an amazing venue and theatres are in big trouble at the moment. So I was glad I could help!.
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I verbally abused a call centre scam caller so brutally today, that he genuinely phoned back minutes later pretending to be from BT and saying my phone line was going to be disconnected "for swearing at people". his exact words! .What a guy.
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