The Baron
@BaronGreen_Back
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Existence is absurd. Beer is healthier than soda. Whimsy. Science (fiction). Tech. H+. Miskatonic University Alumni. Proficiens.
The Imperium of Man
Joined October 2010
This exactly how marriage is, young men. Don't let anyone fool you.
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HTGAWM.
Babu Owino earlier today met with Ida Odinga. What do you think they talked about?
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You see this guy? Number 1 bullshit guy.
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Money to get the power. Power to protect the money.
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Hii Style.
Waiting to see which corporate will snatch up Igathe.
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I randomly recall that a lady was killed by a sniper in the CBD in broad daylight. @DCI_Kenya any progress on this case?.
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Sean Paul lost a phone with unreleased music and then Redsan had a wonderful year.
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Old Ndii would explain the dollar shortage in a way I can understand. New Ndii would tell me that he does not owe me an explanation and that my lack of economics knowledge is in fact my problem to solve. He wouldn't be wrong but still, I miss old Ndii.
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You know, the only reason foreigners keep believing Kenyans can deliver gold from Congo must be that some Kenyans do deliver. Which means, some Kenyans are involved in the nonsense going on in Congo.
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I remove my phone from my pocket after I've been told the total. And I start with bank to mpesa.
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If this is the case, employ every Kenyan. Everyone will then pay tax.
Hon. Beatrice Elachi: If the CAS get salaries they will pay taxes, in fact we are creating more base of tax to go back to the government because they will employ others. #NewDawn
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Oh ye of short memory. Bodies were being found in rivers.
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Mogaka setting the record straight. Keroka to the world.
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The argument that doctors took an oath and thus they should acquiesce to working under miserable conditions needs to be attacked at a philosophical level. They aren’t slaves.
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Assassins.
What does Africa need most?.
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Be a parent to your children, not Kenyans.
If it were up to me, we would not be having betting companies in the country, let us respect our country - CS Matiang'i.
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Make the Netflix sound.
What is the first thing you do when you wake up?.
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This thing may have grown some wings and left these twitter streets.
Hundreds of youths throng Kenyatta National Hospital to donate blood for those injured during the anti-Finance Bill protests. Photo by Denish Ochieng'
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An imagined insult to someone’s mum generated more outrage in the political class than a woman giving birth outside a hospital.
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This is the real you. Everything else is support services.
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I never congratulate women on their pregnancy. I bird-box that shit until they are in hospital or say it themselves. I once got it wrong my guy. Wasn't pretty. I was reminded that I look pregnant as well.
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To the patriots who sabotaged BBI by sending wrong copies and introducing typos, Salut.
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If Rigathi's plan was to demonstrate that his impeachment is not based on the reasons proferred by his detractors, he's succeeded.
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Meetings should be chaired by people who don't like meetings.
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KRA email subject is 'Our Promise To You'. The email body is about penalties you can incur for 'incorrect return, gross negligence or fraud.' 😂😂😂. Sawa guys. Sawa.
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They could’ve build commuter rails and still got their kickbacks. They could’ve built hospitals, schools, courthouses and still got their kickbacks.
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Another reason I suspect anthropologists make shit up. Look at this tweet. You need to be of this time and space to know what is being said.
The way people were stone dead silent when Silhouette and Soprano took to the podium, and the wild cheers and applause that Joffrey of Ichaweri got? Whew!! People were chanting Wamagego's name so loudly. Leo najua wameona siku mrefu. But that's what his hubris got him.
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Have they registered with the Met though?.
Google Weather is so accurate. I received a pop up in the morning that it was going to rain by 11am and it's raining now.
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My colleagues are discussing a guy called Mwagodi who travelled from Mombasa to Nyahururu to protest. And who also has stopped a church fundraiser that has the First Lady as a chief guest. @mwabilimwagodi, you are a hero.
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Our constitution really bothers our political class. If you can’t serve within its confines, leave buana. Every election cycle there’s an attempt to change it.
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This year, bury the regret of lost opportunities. Keep the lessons.
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Since we can't intuitively grasp these things. A million seconds is 11 days. A billion seconds is 32 years. That's how much a billion shillings is compared to a million.
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Those.
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Dude is losing popularity.
Kim Jong Un's party, the Workers' Party of Korea, won the latest election with 99.91% votes. This is a slight decrease from the 100% votes they had in the previous election.
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Ifikie XS Millionaires. Unless Vera is getting on that pole dressed in chicken wire, msinisumbue na tuSMS. I want to see if the stitches are visible.
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What an unfortunate headline. It isn't fair at all. Where are the photos of the head of procurement, the head of finance, the CEO and head of internal audit? Those are the real culprits.
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If you don't love me at my refugee then you don't deserve me at my congresswoman. Or something.
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Are you listening, Kenyans? You are now paying more for SHIF than people pay for their private health care to get 2k dental consultation for the whole family once a year.
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Words are interesting, Load shedding instead of power rationing. Load shedding means the load is too high i.e. it's y'all's fault. Power rationing means there's not enough power i.e. Govt's fault.
CS Chirchir says the government is considering load shedding to stop constant power blackouts
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Next week Natasha Tynes will be bemoaning the mob culture of social media while completely ignoring the fact that she tried to use the same mob on someone.
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Digital nomads will drive our rents through the roof. Beat them on sight. Steal their laptops. 😂.
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A casualty of police brutality no less.
Wait. That policeman is the only casualty in today's protests?.
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Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to spot a pregnant mkorino.
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Asked my boy how his toddlers are doing. He said they are doing well and he hopes they'll move out soon.
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Kim will handle it professionally. As always. Top lady that one. Good bottom too.
If those two divorce it'll be the messiest divorce in the history of celebrity divorces.
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I was reminded this morning that the salaried are the minority and not only that, on average, traders probably earn more. They picked on the salaried because it is easy to collect.
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May the person who whispered 'JKIA expressway' to these chaps get fleas.
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This constitution has to survive this president. If it doesn’t, we shall always be making constitutions to serve the interests of the powers at the helm. If for no other reason, reject BBI. If for no other reason, Uhuru’s term must come to an end.
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So Adrian had some time with a sex positive, open minded, older woman when in his 20s. We should all be so lucky. Power to him.
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They rigged! If you want evidence grant us access to everything and we’ll find the evidence!.
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15k fine for the young senator. Let’s take a minute to reflect on the other young Kenyans who’ve paid much more for flouting curfew. The dead, the maimed.
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Is your 5 acres in ocha safe from the village youth just claiming it? "si ako Nairobi na ako na kazi".
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I'd rather fundraise for Nakumatt, tbh.
Matiang'i asks Kenyans to fund-raise for police.
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Maraga has told IEBC that if in the do-over they repeat the same mistakes, then SCoK will simply make the same decision.😂 Election Loop!.
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Someone who understands that the 'blandness' of ugali is a feature and not a bug.
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A lot of shit makes sense when you get older. Young men, when that time comes, it helps to have money in the bank, a healthy mind and a healthy body. Eat right. Work out. Save. Now.
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Yall complained that safcom doesn't have a human face anymore and now my TL is full of Peter Ndegwa articles. Someone tell him we just want the Safcom Jazz festival back.
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Seems the Communications Authority can throttle an internet communications platform without any communication or court order. Hivyo tu. Bad precedent we are setting here.
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Y'all aware we have this goal?.
Kenya has launched Africa's largest wind power farm in a bid to boost electricity generating capacity and to meet the country's goal of 100% green energy by 2020 . Read more:
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Social Media attention panicked the kidnappers and short circuited their plans while there was still some plausible deniability.
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Bad habits creep back under the guise of small compromises. And we are extremely good at fooling ourselves.
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Let's imagine this is Haiti and send cops there.
One person killed, several houses torched in night raids at Widhu village in Mkunumbi, Lamu County by suspected Al-Shabaab terrorists.
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A convicted criminal cannot be IG, acting or otherwise.
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It seems the best way to deal with RAO is to put him in the front seat and give him one of those fake steering wheels to play with. No more back-seat driving.
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Us those.
If you’re good in English, start a sentence with “Us”.
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OR, you have learnt that your consignment has been held.
Just been informed of plans to frame and arrest me in relation to drugs and firearms which were seized at JKIA last night #MashujaaDay.
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KE’s unemployment rate has never been 10% let alone 5%.
1.7 million Kenyans lost their jobs between April & June as unemployment rate spiked to 10.4pc from 5.2pc in March, KNBS data shows
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As someone here already stated, panda ndege uende Dubai. Nunua simu, do some desert activities, eat at some restaurants, sleep and come back.
This will go for KES 450,000 in Kenya 🇰🇪 . The taxes & retailers will inflate the price.
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That exhaustion you felt when you read that Shad has been taken. maybe it's the point.
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There’s a guy here on NTV called Dr. Ojwang who has rubbished Azimio’s case thoroughly using that same Maina Kiai case.
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Nonini clearly would not survive in the fashion design industry.
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Do you want to live in a society where you can't threaten your wife's boyfriend and kick stupid cops in the nuts?
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And one day you’ll realize you haven’t thought about it for a while.
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Why would we pardon corrupt guys and there are young men in prison for having a blunt? Nah.
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Covid19, Covid19 pro, covid19 pro Max.
COVID-19 shots to cost Ksh.330-1100 under AU vaccine plan.
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Knowing them, these MPs are very quiet for having not been paid.
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Who killed Sharon is important. Who she was shagging is mucene.
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