Bang Average 3rd Cat
@BangAverageCat3
Followers
730
Following
820
Media
3,782
Statuses
34,168
Infosec, bikes, hockey, metal, cats, beanz, cake, swearing. I don't mind a reasonable amount of trouble. Man's a badman.
Up North
Joined October 2014
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Pinned Tweet
Oh dear, what a shame, never mind
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@UK_Daniel_Card
But he must have a really good job, because look, he's got a mac book, and he's (gasp) coding in a coffee shop! 😱
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1K
How did we get to a point in time where one of the richest men in the world is without doubt one of the dumbest cunts who ever drew breath?
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@Hintza05
@SWildlife11111
Shiiiit, you're right. Up until humans invented the concept of killing other animals to protect them, there literally wasn't any wildlife in the previous (checks notes) 580-odd million years that complex life existed on Earth
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@GoochLisa
@thehistoryguy
Congratulations. In the annals of 'stupid takes nobody asked for', that is quite possibly THE 'stupidest take nobody asked for'.
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@SmoothDunk
'Man who grew up in apartheid South Frica and inherited his money from emerald mines run by his father exploiting third world labour doesn't understand what racism is' shocker.
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@israel_valadez
@beardswirl
@DesertedPIaces_
Imagine taking the time out of your day to correct something, and being wrong about it
Yikes
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@StuEdB
@Nick_Pettigrew
You pay 8 quid a month for a free website to try and show more of the world that you're a mug.
Take a seat.
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@simonharris_mbd
So he's going to release 25 properties to the open market for sale? Mint - only need another 10,000 B2L leeches to do the same to start making a dent in the housing crisis...
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@Rkreb1
@dasman1123
It takes a special kind of (unt to excuse the driver for that. Congratulations, you are that (unt.
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@Anne_Marie_2
@RishiSunak
*They* aren't 'spraying us' with anything, you monumental wellington boot. Those are 'vapour trails' - created when the aircraft moves through the air and creates cooler air - which in turn leads to vapour as the air is less able to retain moisture. Read a science book.
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Ever look at something and just think to yourself: "how did we ever get to this point in humanity"?
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I seriously don't get this.
I mean, obviously they're nuts - but why the actual fuck would you post this? Is preventing death from heart attacks 'woke' now?
Honestly - these shithouses are the crust that accumulates on a dog turd that's been out in the sun for a week.
Cunts.
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@simonharris_mbd
I mean, this isn't very objective, but since they've gone down that route themselves... She's fookin gorgeous 😊
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@archer_rs
@MikeyCycling
Same mentality amongst ex-pats living in the Canaries. My Mum lives there, and reports gleefully about how the local gammon attitude has changed somewhat since its become clear that it might just be a bit inconvenient for them. They're all, to a man and woman, blaming 'BRUSSELS'
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This has gone far enough. The time for central guidance on this passed ages ago. Normalising crashing into cyclists because you didn't fucking see them is an absolute disgracd.
Police unsure if driver’s “lack of vision” or hi-vis and no helmet to blame for “unavoidable” collision that saw motorist pull out and kill cyclist, inquest finds
The motorist claims she wasn’t aware of two cyclists approaching until she heard the impact
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@Giggs_Poetry
@TheBlueUlysses
Bad cyclists irritate people. Bad drivers kill people.
One is not comparable to the other, in any way.
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@Arepa32515207
@LBofHounslow
@TfL
@RealOneChiswick
@A4Residents
@JoannaBiddolph
@MicheleRagusa6
Good Lord. Is there NOTHING that people won't blame cyclists for?
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@DougWanstall
He's a cyclist bivvying on a long distance ride. Almost guaranteed he would have cleared up properly - there's a huge emphasis on doing this in the audax and multiday cycling community.
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Note - this is a far right account, masquerading as harmless, rose-tinted yearning for a bygone age that never really was.
It's literally weaponising nostalgia.
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@star_opus
@howsmydriving28
@CostaCoffee
Imagine. All the world's knowledge at your fingertips. A wealth of information just aching, begging for you to know it. Literally never been a better time to be alive if you want to educate yourself - and STILL being this wrong.
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@AliKh1886
Tesco forced most of the local supermarkets to close by undercutting them on price. Then, they forced most of the local corner shops to close by opening their own. Who could have predicted they'd price gouge people when they were the only game in town... 😒
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@silent_bob_uk
@Barcajim3
On the one hand, him and seven others attacked a kid on his own with a machete, beat him within an inch of his life and got away with it - on the other, he loves his mam.
Give your head a wobble.
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@watamelon23
@reed
@Waymo
1/2 That is absolute nonsense - and is what leads to multiple pedestrians and cyclists being killed each year, as drivers prioritise their own safety over that of more vulnerable road users. In reality, a car hitting another car is less likely to cause death or injury.
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@reed
@Waymo
1/2 That looks great, but I'm interested specifically in what happens where the evasive action taken by Waymo in this instance (which avoids a collision with a car) involves moving into the bike lane. What's the decision making process there? A cyclist is far more vulnerable than
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@__kingkittyy
@ErrolWebber
@united
They're not being doxxed for 'film equipment'. They're being doxxed for 'theft'.
HTH
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@itaintwhywhywhy
I'd say
'I am the son, and the heir - of nothing in particular'
is an incredible opening line too.
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@JakeWSimons
@MikeyCycling
@spectator
"Before taking up the hobby myself, I hated the middle-aged man in Lycra as much as the next man."
See, there's your problem. You're a prat. If you'd just opened with the line 'I'm a prat', it would have been so much clearer. 👍
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What Lord Alan Sugar doesn't tell you is that the vast majority of his wealth comes from his commercial property empire - which is, of course, the real reason he's 'not a fan' of wfh
Hope this helps
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Just for some context here - I'm a pretty shit bike racer. I'm still better than around 99.9% of the country - and am as far away from qualifying fore the Olympic road race as that 99.9% of the country are 🤣
6% of Brits thinking they could qualify for the road race is genuinely deranged.
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@WalkerMarcus
'terminally unionised'
Did you hear yourself saying this in your head when you type this? Because, if you did, and you still typed it - you might just be the single most tragic man who ever lived.
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@Buzzdietyear
@lachlan
There were widespread protests about the world Cup being held in Russia. Just because *you* didn't see them, doesn't mean they didn't exist. This has nothing to do with it being an Arab country - and everything to do with it being sportswashing on a global scale.
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Fucking state of this rat faced little cunt. He looks like he'd fall over if somebody farted on him, and a mild Chinese burn would break his fucking arm 🤣
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Fuck me, there literally is nothing more futile than arguing with cycling helmet evangelists on Twitter
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@DrJamesOlsson
1/ Ray Liotta - atherosclerosis leading to heart failure
Celine Dion - autoimmune syndrome (alove)
Justin Bieber - Ramsey-Hunt Syndrome
Tony Siragusa - heart attack possibly caused by rapid weight loss
Damar Hamlin - heart attack caused by blunt force trauma to chest (alive)
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@TomTugendhat
Are you aware of the difference between 4G and WiFi? And why provisioning WiFi is slightly easier than provisioning 4G?
Hint - it has something to do with being under ground...
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@tweetfoggy
@Flatus74
Dear Graham - whilst you've been furiously wanktweeting yourself into a gammony pink so hot that it's practically fluorescent, I've been getting bent over and shagged by the neighbour for the last two years and am leaving you. Your dinner's in the dog - yours, the former Mrs Down
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@PaulPWRFitness
@LancsPolice
She should contact the family of the person who died and ask them.
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@cyp_toon
Her twinnie standing there just grinning. Been egging her on, no doubt about that.
"Go on, tell mam. He's tekkin' piss. Go on, tell her..."
🤣🤣🤣
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@Modhail2
@noturtlesoup17
It's cute, isn't it? Like when your grandad learns a new fangled technical word, and misuses it at every opportunity.
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@DailyMirror
What's the point here? The bike lane has been put in to provide a safe route. The road is single carriageway - so putting in another lane isn't possible. Why waste extra space by making the car lanes arbitrarily wider? The lane is perfectly wide enough for cars and buses
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@Cobratate
@GretaThunberg
Well, I'm not sure I had 'insecure bro buys lots of cars in effort to impress teenager into sending him her deets' on my bingo card, but 2022 goin out the way it came in - a wild ride for sure
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@MarkR1987
@MENnewsdesk
1 - Road Tax doesn't exist, hasn't for 80-odd years
2 - Road repairs are funded from general taxation - paid for by anyone with a job
3 - If road repairs were funded 'fairly', by your definition, and a cyclist paid, say, £5 per year, motorists would pay around £20,000 pa
BCWYWF..
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@MikeThompsonMKT
@BBCBreaking
Three people, including a child, are dead in the same incident. You're a cretin.
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@jameseatscrayo1
@dog_gem
@BlindDad_Uk
@Kika_GuideDog
Good point. There isn't any specific law against being an absolute, world-beating, ocean-going, total, utter (unt. Shame.
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@BSmithBenS
This is my favourite meme from the past few months - and it illustrates these weapons perfectly
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@binstedman
Complaint to the IPCC, instantly. Its a trope that the police like to use to say witnesses have to be 'independent'. That is absolute bollocks - of someone had been stabbed in front of their mates, the police as nd cps wouldn't refeluse to investigate and prosecute.
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@shiresquaffer
@MarinaHyde
Damn, you're right. The government really missed a trick in not having focus groups with the virus to find out what its plans for mutation were going to be over the next few months. Poor planning on the government's part there, for sure...
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@JulieLovesFluff
@AracerRacer
Fantastic
CYCLISTS - GET OUT OF THE CITY YOU'RE IN THE WAY
Also
CYCLISTS - GET OUT OF THE COUNTRYSIDE YOU'RE IN MY WAY
Get in the fucking sea Julie
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@1984_will_fail
Good Lord. How have you survived into adulthood? Hurrah for society! A scant few hundreds years ago, you'd have been used as firewood by now.
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@NorthantsChief
This is a shameful decision. Even if you think the cyclist is causing an obstruction, it doesn't give the driver a right to drive into them. What about the woman who drove a range rover into a protestor? She was charged and found guilty. The optics here are awful for the police.
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@truth_checkers
Coming next, we ask: 'Is it a coincidence that more people are falling down stairs since the vax?'
Stay tuned.
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@tvtenterhooks
@Dentchal84
I'm willing to lay big money that a seagull isn't the worst thing he had his head photoshopped on to...
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'Bring back London'
Bring it back from where? It's there at the bottom of the fucking M1 - where it's always been, ya daft cunt.
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Serious question. We have laws on hate speech on social media. Twitter clearly has no moderators left at all, and it's absolutely rampant on here.
Why isn't our government threatening Musk with shutting it down in the UK?
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@LaNativePatriot
@jocked07
@DogginTrump
Wait - you've got 112,000 nooks following you, and you make (checks notes) less than 2500 bucks a month out of them?
This isn't the flex you think it is 🤣🤣🤣
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@EJ_McGuinness
@PoliticsMoments
Aye, that's why you're pictured holding the keys, yeah?
Pull the other one lad, it's got bells on
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@KodiHeaven
@PolitlcsUK
@DailyMailUK
If they just cancelled Netflix, had less Costa coffees and cut down on avocado's they'd be fine
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@craigo001
Loving the whole 'm/d/y' thing.
Like, just in case you were confused about it either being the 22nd day or the 22nd month....
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@roadcc
@MikeyCycling
“We are glad to see the courts use the full breadth of their powers when sentencing Downer"
Really? REALLY?! A fucking suspended sentence?
Jesus H Christ
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@peterwalker99
Agree strongly. When I first started commuting in London, it was, frankly, terrifying. As I got stronger and fitter, I found the increased speed made me feel a lot safer. That needs to change if we want as many people out of their cars and cycling as possible.
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