AndyKurosaki
@AndyKurosaki
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Level 44. Gaming since the 80’s. Currently PlayStation/Nintendo. Hedgehog Dad to Snowy. Rest in Peace, Coco and Sonic. I will never forget either of you ❤️🦔🌈
United Kingdom
Joined August 2020
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@fesshole
My mate Billy had a 10 foot Willy. He showed it to the girl next door. She thought it was a snake, so she hit it with a rake. And now it’s only 5 foot 4.
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@fesshole
Return the favour. When he asks for a blowie, go “sausage time” or “Winner winner Penis dinner”.
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@fesshole
She’s a keeper. You should look her up, and go “Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn’t mean it. Won’t you wank me off for good”.
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@fesshole
As a social worker that regularly sees the devastating impact dementia has on families, I’d say not. It’s a cruel disease, that turns people that were lovable and kind for decades, into unpredictable, violent ones.
It’s so bloody awful.
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@fesshole
In the middle of going down on her, try saying “Lovely bit of squirrel”. Might help.
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@fesshole
“Most places don’t take cash”? What a load of bollocks. If you’re going to talk out your arse, make it more interesting. Throw in a few car chases or something.
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@StrawbKitsune
It’s ridiculous behaviour, and they should definitely be binned. My partner isn’t into gaming at all, but she’d never react like that.
If we want to take time off to enjoy something, that’s fine. Life’s too short to be shaming anyone.
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I just went to check on Coco at midnight. She’s not moving, not breathing.
She’s gone. My beautiful, beloved Coco has passed away. This was the very first photo I took of her, holding her in my arms as a little baby.
I’m so heartbroken.
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@DarkHolocron
Nintendo: “Let’s give our community the power to create whatever they desire!”
Community: “Nice. I’m going to do a dick”
Has to be done 😄
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@fesshole
“It’s true, love. Honest. He said I’d recover even faster if you let me stick it up your jacksie.
Yes he was a doctor. Had a stethoscope and everything”.
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@leilalouhughes
@fesshole
Could play it blindfolded, and make their partner guess “Which is it, poo or fish?”
Then televise it with Ant and Dec. They do everything else.
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@fesshole
If you’re hiding your true self from her already, the relationship is kinda boned, pal.
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@fesshole
Could set up a sound alert that triggers when she pulls up in the drive. Get it to play the Countdown theme, really get that tension going.
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Coco is fading fast. Constantly bleeding, refusing to eat, and her mobility is deteriorating. I will spend the night with her, one last time. If she doesn’t pass in the night, I will ask the vet tomorrow to put her peacefully to sleep. Hug your pets a little tighter tonight 🦔❤️
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@fesshole
Why not jump into the bedroom, give it the old “helicopter”, and go “fancy sticking me knob in your gob”
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@TNEQL
Suicide Squad has to be the fastest flopping live service game ever. Barely out a month, dead already. And they want to double down on it?
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@fesshole
First of all, kudos for “polish the purple bishop”. Second of all, do both. Do the cleaning, then reward yourself with a big tug.
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Put a deposit down on this gorgeous baby hedgehog, she’s currently 3 weeks old. She will be ready to come live with me at 8 weeks. We’re going to call her Snowy ❤️🦔
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@YongYea
I’m in the minority that really doesn’t care about Bloodborne. I’ll take anything FF7 related over that, any day of the week.
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@ArkhamVideos
@suicidesquadRS
Oh,IGN doesn’t like that you kill the Justice League, in a game called Kill The Justice League. Can you change it please, so you bake cookies with them instead, make macaroni pictures, that kind of thing? Much appreciated, lads.
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@misskaren1981
Still one of the most powerful moments of British TV. Loved Blackadder, and what an ending this was.
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Hard to believe it’s been 22 years now since I got together with my partner, Sarah. She was my first girlfriend, and to this day, I love her with all I have. This is my 3rd long term health problem, and she has been by my side every step of the way.
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@fesshole
Not ideal, but could have been worse. He could have gone “Ahhh Bisto”, “Drink me kids”, or gone old school with a Paul Daniels “You’ll like this, but not a lot”.
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@fesshole
Yeah, because why say you don’t like something, or make suggestions as to how you could possibly improve it. Just eat the same meal you hate, for years. That makes more sense.
Or, have a Pot Noodle and a wank. There’s options.
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@fesshole
Could go to the snack machine, get yourself some Space Raiders, and hit the arcades. Fun times.
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@fesshole
Presumably if they do a Jar Jar Binks impression, this guy gives them an instant promotion to manager.
“Meesa gonna work for you now, okie day?”
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@80s_Kidz
Teens today man, don’t know they’re born. Countless filth available at the touch of a button. Meanwhile, we had these catalogs to get us through, straining our eyes to potentially see a bit of nip.
It was like the Dark Ages.
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@QueenKryptid
Resting, painkillers for my regular pain, gaming. Oh, and getting my flat ready for my baby hedgehog.
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Coco is now together with my beautiful first hedgehog, Sonic, what a lovely boy he was ❤️🌈🦔
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It’s arrived: yay!
It’ll take about 2 hours to install. Frigging hell 😄
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@espbeee
Some of them are ridiculous. Stun a Killer 3 times. In the same match. And flash light save. While running backwards. Only on a Wednesday.
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@theshadfather87
Gotham Knights is actually pretty decent. It’s no Arkham, but I had fun with it. It’s similar to the hate Arkham Origins got, it’s not a bad game at all.
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Baby Snowy, we so can’t wait to meet you in a few weeks ❤️🦔
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Changed my PlayStation Network photo to my beautiful Coco. So now, every time i sign in, I will be reminded of her.
She’s forever in my heart ❤️🌈🦔
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@fesshole
If there’s something strange, and it don’t look good. What’s he gonna watch? Mum shagging!
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@fesshole
Sounds like she won’t be the new girlfriend for long. Especially when she finds out he turns his pants inside out after wearing them, as they last another day.
And then discovers the wank-sock collection.
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Snowy continues to grow. Absolutely love her, and her distinct single black front paw. After a truly horrible year, she will bring joy to my life ❤️🦔
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@fesshole
You’d have got more respect for jumping on a table and yelling NOOT NOOT with pride.
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Coco’s first baby photo, and the very first time I saw her. Fair to say it was love at first sight ❤️🌈🦔
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@fesshole
“Bloody customers. I’m here trying to knock one out to Beverly Hills Cock, and they’re trying to order stuff. Don’t they realise I’ve balls to empty?”
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My beautiful Coco has been cremated, and is on a memorial table. I don’t yet have a physical photo for her frame, we will get one at the weekend.
Rest In Peace, sweet Coco. Thank you for being the most wonderful hedgehog a man could ever wish for ❤️🦔🌈
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Happy Heavenly Birthday to my much missed first hedgehog, Sonic. He set me on the path to being a hedgehog dad ❤️🦔🌈
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@Nidorom
AC Odyssey has very little stealth in it, and is one of the best games in the series. Also, Kassandra is one of the best main characters in all of gaming, she’s awesome.
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More Snowy close ups. Few more weeks and I can give her a happy home ❤️🦔
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@fesshole
Ah, finding random porn in a bush. A lost tradition. Always felt like hitting the jackpot.
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@_DHOTYA
Then she said “God watches when you have a tug. COCKADOODLEDOO!”
Shortly afterwards, Godzilla rocked up. Because fuck it, why not.
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@sadotthegamer
Hopefully the fans will enjoy it. As it’ll be the grand finale for Rocksteady.
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Coco in her favourite cuddle cube. She slept in this, every night ❤️🌈🦔
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@fesshole
It was definitely like winning the lottery when you found a jazz mag. You didn’t think through how it got there, or what it was previously used for. You just went “Wehey, minge”.
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Had a lovely meal out with my partner Sarah. I don’t often leave the house now, due to my poor health. So it’s nice to get a change of scenery. I know she won’t rest until I’m diagnosed, treated, and back to full health. Better days are coming, I truly believe that.
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@fesshole
Just so long as when he pulled out, he shook his knob a few times, like when you’re getting the last few drips of petrol into your car. Then swiped his nectar card.
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This was Coco’s absolute favourite place to be, laying at the side of her wheel, which she used every night. She loved wheeling, and I’ll certainly miss cleaning it up every morning.
From age 6 weeks, to 4 years 7 months, she was an absolute joy. And I will cherish the memories❤️
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Here’s another baby Coco photo. Jasmine, her breeder sent me this. Who wouldn’t fall in love with that beautiful, chocolate coloured face. She was my first baby hoglet, and she taught me so much. It was an honour, to raise her ❤️🌈🦔
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Coco has finished her antibiotics, and is back to her usual self. A huge relief, I was so worried about her. Love her so very much ❤️🦔
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Had a nice chilled out weekend with my girlfriend Sarah. With my health being very poor, for months, she’s gone above and beyond for me. I’d be lost without her.
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@fesshole
Maybe it’s your dialogue. Try “Oh bother, I’m dreadfully sorry. But would you mind if I chucked my muck all over your smashing jubblies?”
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@fesshole
“Mr Hammond, after careful consideration, I have decided not to endorse your peados”.
Gives “Clever girl” a whole new meaning as well.
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@_Deez_Games
Either Link To The Past, or Wind Waker for me. I really don’t like the newer Zelda games (Breath and Tears).
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@NoContextHumans
“Hey love, I’ve got us a sex doll. You know, to fool a traffic camera. I’m totally not going to bang it. It’s for the highway. Not for jizzing into. Probably”.
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Coco has stopped bleeding, hopefully she is on the road to recovery ❤️🦔
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Coco is unfortunately bleeding a third time. She has antibiotics up to Thursday,but she didn’t touch her breakfast this morning. I’ll be keeping an eye on her, but I’m preparing myself for the worst. She’s an old girl, and may be approaching the end of her life.Breaks my heart.
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Went to give Coco her lunch, found a pool of blood near her wheel, which wasn’t there this morning. Going to take her to the vet this afternoon, she may have a urine infection. My poor girl ❤️🦔
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Finally got a diagnosis for my horrendous illness. I have moderate/close to severe Diverticular Disease. I’ve been advised to follow a strict diet (fodmap). Hopefully after a few months, my badly inflamed gut will return to normal.
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I’ll never understand why people get their kicks from being hateful bell-ends online. I’ve made some great friends over the decades. Many I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting in “real life”. We get one shot at life. Why waste it being a dickhead?
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@theshadfather87
Guess their “we don’t like killing the Justice League, in a game called Kill The Justice League”comment backfired then 😄
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@fesshole
Next it’ll be “I’ve been raiding their bins, I’m disappointed they eat Super Noodles and wipe their arse with Tesco value paper”
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@ladbible
Pot Noodle Sandwich, Turkey Twizzlers, and a Callippo. Washed down with a Panda Pop.
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Colonoscopy biopsy results: it’s not cancer, so eat more fibre. Erm, hello, my health is getting worse. My stomach is swollen. I can barely walk without being in agony, and out of breath. How the fuck is brown bread going to help?
Booked a private appointment. Need to fix this.
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Won a contest to have a painting made of my hedgehogs. It’s absolutely beautiful. Can’t wait for it to arrive, it will take pride of place in my home.
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