lil krit
@yungkritty
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Pinned Tweet
Of course my mom sent this to me mid shroom peak
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Just remembered I was having an afters one time and this guy had never done poppers before and he DRANK it like a shot 😞 we had to call 911
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Came to the beach for some shroom action, literal boat sinking right in front of me
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Remember when $25/hr was good money and $750 rent was normal and cigs were $5 a pack.. don’t even get me started on Taco Bell prices
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Strippers are so funny they’ll make $400 in 4 hours and cry about it
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My homie finger dipped the bag too early while the girls are getting ready and now he on the phone w his granny talking up a storm
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Finally experienced the Eiffel Tower last!beautiful sight they were both very tall
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No babe you’re still cute just the way you played dubstep at the afters surprised me
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Y’all love to hate on strippers until you need outfit inspo for a night out in Miami
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Me drunk in the kitchen at 6am
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This looks exactly like 4 strippers at my work
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Remember when scHoolboy Q dropped oxymoron and it was everything we needed and still need to this day
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Mmm no not really
getting ur clit rubbed by a dj prolly go crazy, he down there like wikiwikiwiki
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That’s funny y’all finally don’t fuck w j*hn s*mmit 😩 it wasn’t the glorification of drug usage? It wasn’t the mediocre music?? Word got it, yall loooove the drama period
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I don’t trust people who don’t in some degree like every genre of music even if it’s just respect for the craft itself
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I just walked up to a mom in the crowd at tnf and asked her if I could get her baby ear protection cause he had none????? Literally right next to the stage not cool my ears hurt at 26 can’t imagine 2….
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This might be when I got naked
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That should have been the end of me
Hosting afters but unfortunately it wasn’t
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I know them girls were doing drugs in the bathroom cause not a single one told me there was no tp
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Unpopular opinion (apparently?) putting a magnifying glass under certain peoples rightful decision to not always speak on public scandals does not mean they too are guilty. You don’t know how people cope with situations like this and you don’t know how detrimental staying silent
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It’s really wild we all internally know that vaping is gonna take us out worse than cigs ever did but we still…do it..
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I just made myself cum so hard that my nasal passages have cleared
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I said “hey queen” to this girl at the club and she looks under my nose and goes “yeah you’re clean” like ?? Stripper culture crazy
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RULE NUMBER ONE OF BEING A GOOD HOMIE AND HAVING PPL OVER TO YOUR CRIB FOR AFTERS- YOU DONT ALLOW THEM TO LEAVE FUCKED UP. YOU ALLOW A SAFE SPACE UNTIL EVERYONE IS ABLE TO DRIVE AND OR GET AN UBER. THE AUDACITY OF SOME PPL IS MIND BOGGLING.
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I’d say the number one reason to get sober is no longer saying things you don’t mean and also no longer saying things you do mean when you really shouldn’t
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This guy bet me 1k if I knew the song…. It was white rabbit by Jefferson airplane, I told him the time and date of album release. He was so shook. Didn’t have the money to back it, taking him to court.
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@princessxlis
How many times does someone need to say this?? like ya Id rather be lit than have a tummy ache
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Dude we all need to be more aware and appreciative of how perky our tits are right now
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Y’all so fucking wack I might be a lil unhinged but ain’t nobody waking u up w juice ain’t nobody making authentic veal picatta ain’t nobody bouncing the way I bounce so ur literal loss and this is to 7 diff people lmaoo don’t take me home to mom I don’t wanna meet her
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My mom licked her fingers after packing a bowl and then said “now don’t go crazy this stuff is called fuel biscuits”
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There will never be reality tv like next, parental control, the simple life, room raiders, and all of vh1 dating shows.
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Put your vibrator down and do it acoustic your mind body and soul will thank you
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After spending time with my family I’ve officially made the decision to distance myself from people who don’t support me getting healthy. That includes my friends who are currently unable to not use around me. Sorry, I’m choosing my future self over my current fix.
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Succession dinner
Idrk what to do w myself today so I’m just gonna wear my robe and cook steak
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Just heard this stripper say she has synched her period with the moon and knows at 5:24pm today she will be getting it
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Sick just unknowingly watched the red wedding for the first time could use prayers thanks
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If I was wifey in brokeback mountain I would not be crying, I would be scheming a three way babe
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I need a “my super sweet sixteen: where are they now” I wanna see how them lil bitches turned out
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Yes yes yes mmmmm ice cream mmm ur a bitch send me money mmm gang gang
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Was walking to Publix and this guy stopped me and asked if I liked poetry, I obviously said yes. Anyways kid spit 2 mins of absolute bars, glorious beautiful words I was shook and needed it more than I realized. Totally worth it to stop and listen to ppl sometimes.
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Beef doesn’t exist in my world if you create it with me that’s on you, and I will probably still ignore it and love you anyways.
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Hate it when I’m texting a sugar daddy and he says “kk” and I’m like ok wow…I see how it is..then remind myself he’s 110
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None of the beef you currently have with people you genuinely love is worth it, make amends, say I love you.
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I would let all of them fuck me
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Nothing I love more than a heavy cuban link assaulting me in the face while I’m getting fucked
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Scored a vip room with a couple on copious amounts of shrooms. Huge win for all of us.
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You know it really is hard to be at the club and not drink cause it’s just the epitome of it all and I struggled today but I didn’t give in and I’m home now reflecting on how my feet feel broken but my mind feels intact. And that is very cool ! Just keep goin as they say
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I love a “I’ll buy you whatever you want” dude who’s card declines lmao
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Couple things about Jimmy buffet: he played in an adult softball league with my dad. Also when I worked at this juice bar on palm beach island him or his assistant came in EVERY DAY and got a green juice and smoothie. Sad day. Hopefully there are literal cheeseburgers in paradise
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Drop a fucking flick from ur fucking favorites
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Ppl calling the okee line up mids definitely don’t have a well rounded taste in music. We’re given so many different genres y’all are tripping lol
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When the sun hits your tiddies so right but no free nips on the timeline. Happy birthday to me though $yungkritty
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Btw, I came back and it’s still sinkin. Still on shrooms too.
Came to the beach for some shroom action, literal boat sinking right in front of me
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Abs are cool and all but what about this cute lil pooch I got goin
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I volunteer as tribute to fight every right wing blonde in this country
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I need to have all three mustards (yellow, Dijon, stone ground) in my fridge at all times. You never know which you’ll need.
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Omg one horrid thing about having a real job is having to actually show up
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This worked out hot for me
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Not me standing in my sd’s kitchen pantry playing hide n seek w his 6 yr old 🙄 I’m over this shit
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Last nights insomnia breakdown:
Tossed- 152x
Turned- 261x
Thoughts of sex- 1 hr
Thoughts of life in 1533 England- 3 hr
Thoughts of being beheaded in 1533 England- 2hr
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Sluttiest thing you can do is know all the lyrics to whatever song I put on
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The stigma against SW is so wild because be honest my guy would you eat a girls pussy for $1k? Cuz I think you fucking would for free. Anyways, I see people out there who get it which gives me hope. But most of you claim to and are actually judging the shit out of us women. WACK
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My Uber just handed me candy and I ate it without question just incase anything happens
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