BRV
@willrayvalentin
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Click here to access my exclusive $RIG content! Parody account. Everything I post is a joke and shouldn’t be taken seriously.
Tulsa, OK
Joined February 2022
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Why is making money shorting stocks so much more satisfying than making money buying them?
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@AJDelgado13
@lcmichaelides
Formerly worked at McKinsey - wonder how many people she fired and destroyed their business while working there?
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The final phase of the boomer financial plan is being implemented.
Jack up treasuries so they can comfortably cash flow their stockpile of cash for their blue head years while the rest of us suffer. Thanks again boomers.
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I have now heard from two separate people involved in the Samson deal that the oil and gas guys from KKR didn’t know the difference between a barrel of NGLs and a barrel of oil 😂
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Oh sweet irony that this scam administration just passed a trillion dollar infrastructure package that had nothing to do w/ infrastructure
I am tracking the train derailment over the Yellowstone River in Stillwater County. My office has been in touch with local, state, and federal officials.
At this time, there is no immediate threat, but please try to keep away from the areas around the Yellowstone River Rail
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Time to get as long oil as you possibly can
HEDGE FUNDS' MAKE ULTRA-BEARISH OIL BETS; NON-COMMERCIAL POSITIONS ARE NEAR MOST BEARISH SINCE 2011
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Every landman in OKC's text messages
Landbro 1 - Hey man I have an idea
Landbro 2 - Cool, what's the plan?
Landbro 1 - Let's commit fraud
Landbro 2 - Can you lay it all out for me in this discoverable text message format?
Landbro 1 - Yes. Here's my plan on how we'll commit fraud
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My message to the fireworks stands setting prices of fireworks is simple: this is a time of war and global peril.
Bring down the price you are charging to reflect the cost you’re paying for the product. And do it now.
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Denver: where midwesterners move to buy a Patagonia wardrobe and live a sedentary life indoors
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Had to inform my wife that I wont be attending The Nutcracker this year due to the situation in Ukraine.
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A little math for you all
If someone brags about being up 390% in ‘21 but omits the fact they were down 75% in 19-20’
$1 invested became 0.25
0.25 * 3.9 = 0.98
Almost back to even. Now throw in those redemptions at the bottom. This tweet is not about anyone in particular.
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Just when you give up… we found her this morning. Thanks for all the comments and DMs. Really appreciate it.
Our puppy birdie is gone and probably not coming back. What I’ll miss the most - she would smile when I came home from work. RIP sweet dog.
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This whole “OPEC cutting is bearish” is the most annoying shit of all time. They have a price target. Current price is below the target. That’s what it means.
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This chart got quite a bit of attention. Although the deterioration of performance is obvious, and has been for a very long time, what people aren’t talking about are two important things.
1 - this is not a linear decline, the 2nd derivative of this negative rate of change is
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Compiling a conservative stock portfolio for my children’s college fund. I want it to serve two functions, one is value appreciation & two to teach them important lessons about disciplined investing - being an advocate and fiduciary for yourself. My model portfolio is:
100% $RIG
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Happy 4th except to Boomers who destroyed America w their selfish politics and use of the Fed to enrich themselves at the cost of all future generations.
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I am thankful that the Permian Basin is a value trap that is sucking in the maximum amount of cash possible before subsequently lighting it all on fire. We pray that God grants all the small time producers/locals and independents the wisdom to dumpeth thy Permian bags upon
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My number one contra says oil price now goes dramatically over $100 this year
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JP Morgan note:
"Dear Generalists... it's time: SPR release most bullish Energy Equities data point yet..."
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My Dad and I were hooking up my air compressor and he asked for a female fitting. I am uncontrollably shaking and feel overwhelmed w disgust and outrage.
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Don’t forget that Senate Democrats blocked Trump from filling the SPR when price was low
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The responsible thing to do is shut down all drilling in West Texas until we figure out the earthquake situation. Probably 4-5 years.
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Finally unfollowed
@Big_Orrin
and I recommend everyone do the same. That dude has called 19 of the last 3 downturns in oil price. He can’t say anything bullish ever and that’s a big 🚩
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Permian Reservoir Engineers discussing their latest type curves
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😂 $AR doesn’t know where Oklahoma is
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Here’s my ranking of best horizontal plays in the US:
1 - Bakken
2 - DJ
3 - Eagleford
4 - Anadarko
5 - Marcellus
6 - Haynesville
7 - Arkoma
8 - Barnett
9 - Utica
10 - Midland
11 - TMS
12 - Miss Lime
13 - Delaware
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“I’ve met a lot of rich oil men, but not a lot of rich gas men”
- Grandpa Valentine
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Real estate is for people who were born on third base and ran back to second as fast as possible then brag about hitting a double
These might be the wisest words I’ve seen on the internet
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Our puppy birdie is gone and probably not coming back. What I’ll miss the most - she would smile when I came home from work. RIP sweet dog.
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@EnergyCynic
You just gotta remember that on average we lose ~4 million bpd through natural decline. As my grandfather used to say “we burn a giant oil field (500 million bbls) every week so you need to find a new one to replace that every week”
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$RIG will never have a red day again and I’m the only human on Earth who understands this
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Every shale driller in America:
“We have 10k locations that will generate 100%+ IRRs”
Also every shale driller in America:
“We are excited to announce we are buying some tier 3 acreage w almost no production on it for a billion dollars… bc it’s accretive to cash flow”
@philly76fan215
@willrayvalentin
Newsflash: all the tier 1 rock is gone, so now they’re all shitcos running out the clock with increasingly shitty inventory
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When your banker calls and asks why you have hedged more volumes than actual oil production
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$RIG is the greatest stock that has ever existed. It's the mothra of equities - finally emerged from years of hibernation and now is ready to spread its wings over my portfolio and shower it with mountains of cash. If you don't own $RIG unfollow me and delete your account.
$RIG
Dhirubhai Deepwater KG2 secures 2.5yr contract at ~$430k dayrate excl. mob fee
No stopping this train right now
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At this point, I have tallied 123 geologists who discovered the Eagleford
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Just peed all over the seat of a gender inclusive bathroom. Enjoy ladies.
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Old enough to remember when EFT was about calling out bad companies, bad actors and bad behavior.
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Biden literally fucks up everything he touches.
FT on OPEC cuts 👀
People familiar with Saudi Arabia’s thinking say Riyadh was irritated last week that the Biden administration publicly ruled out new crude purchases to replenish SPR
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I just can’t get enough of these laid off Twitter employee testimonials and commentsry. I’m obsessed. It’s maybe the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.
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The intelligent way to think about owning Permian drillers is basically going out 4 years into the future and buying an out of the money $90 strike call option. There are two possible scenarios that will come out of this:
Scenario 1 - oil doesn’t go meaningfully above $90 and
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Going to host a space tonight for my fellow natty producers where we play Everybody Hurts on repeat for an hour. Please join me.
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I really wish someone would write a book about the KKR acquisition of Samson. Everyone involved from the KKR side should be named and shamed and blackballed from ever doing another deal forever.
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"There are three things you assiduously never invest in: the Mississippi Lime, hotels and Canadian oilfield service companies"
- Charlie Munger
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There’s no banking crisis.
There’s no recession.
Oil is fundementally stronger today that 6 months ago.
Inflation is ded.
JPow has everything under control.
New highs in 9 months.
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Today, I blacked out and just bought everything. I don’t even know what happened but chances are I own it now.
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. 🔥 🔥 🔥
🔥 $NFLX 🔥 🔥 🔥
🔥 🔥 🔥 $FB 🔥 🔥 🔥
🔥 $PCG 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥
🔥 🔥 California🔥 $GOOG 🔥
🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥
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Fucking hell give this man all the money you have
Watch Vivek Ramaswamy give a detailed response on how he will obliterate the Administrative State.
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Why do we still let snowboarders on the mountain? It’s not 1995 guys, let’s get a real hobby.
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Greatest tweet ever
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Just a friendly reminder… if you’re holding energy stonks the ideal time to sell was yesterday. The second best time is today.
Don’t worry you can buy them back cheaper in a couple months.
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At $100 oil and $5.5 gas, I still wouldn’t take $SD assets if they were offered to me for free
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In 5 years oil price is up 20% and $DVN stock is up 20%. This isn’t hard guys, these wells don’t make money.
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Wow, ok so handjobs in movie theaters aren’t ok anymore? What will the left take from us next?
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This is an excellent plan and we should listen to him and vote for him. No more fracking or horizontal wells we must do this for the kids!
7. I will ban fracking, which provides the feedstock for most of the plastics produced in the U.S.
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Here's a handy graphic to help investors understand and navigate the world of drilling contractors
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I remember when I first shorted $SD and everyone said I was crazy bc TPG and Leon Cooperman had just bought the stock.
Then I remember shorting $ROAN and everybody said I was crazy bc it was run by $EOG guys and owned by a bunch of “smart” hedge funds and PE.
Then I refi’d my
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Starting in 2023 the Permian Basin is now a second/third tier basin
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This is the level of dedication required of all $RIG shareholders
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The final horseman of the $150 oil apocalypse has now appeared. Time to mortgage the house and get long oil.
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We must shut down every well in the Permian to protect this rare and precious animal.
Center for Biological Diversity coming for the Permian Basin…
Rare lizard found in major US oil patch proposed as endangered species
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I just walked into $TGT and a greeter tried to chop my son's penis off with a pair of scissors while screaming "This is Target country!!!"
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The Delaware Basin continues to remind everyone that gas molecules are smaller than oil molecules. Bubble point still impacts ultimate recovery. The economics of infills is primarily driven by the drainage area of offsets. Gas wells drain more area than oil wells. Higher bottom
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If this downturn kills VC, PE and RE then we need a new term besides depression. There’s nothing depressing about that.
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No matter how bad things get remember it could be worse. You could work for a private equity backed midstream company in the Permian.
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If you live in Houston your singular life objective is not to die in Houston
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Yea he nailed this one. The Permian scam is grinding to a halt. Prepare yourselves.
Pioneer Resources, the biggest producer in the Permian just brought 15 wells onto production in their core Midland basin asset.
10 out of the 15 wells came in with IP24's below 1,000 boe/d and overall, these 15 wells averaged IP24's of just 885 boe/d.
🧵
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