queen of the rodeo
@watchheat1995
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I ordered a coke from the indian restaurant down the street and I dunno what I expected but it wasn’t this
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So we’re just glossing over the fact that my trigger-happy methhead uncle is out roaming the streets? Yeah ok dinner sounds great see you at 8
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Making your engagement about your ex >>>>>.
fiancés are like pancakes. no shame in throwing the first one out.
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Oh btw he made $1100 at the tables that night.
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Of course you did you fucking retards.
We stopped taking Ozempic and Wegovy — and regained more weight than we lost
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I grew up in Albuquerque while Breaking Bad was filming and one time in high school I was smoking a cigarette outside of a cafe by the trash cans and Aaron Paul walked by. I yelled “hey Aaron Paul!!” and he yelled back “hey dumpster girl!!”.
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According to my pedo manager at Buffalo Wild Wings it was 16 year old me.
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@asceticgooner Omg it did!! I couldn’t tell if they gave me diet because it tasted off but you’re probably so right.
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@MadRex512 @oppositeofrural He was mad I wouldn’t let him sell heroin out of my house so he put a few bullets in the wall and slashed my tires. He’s always in and out of jail it’s been like this for decades lol but I didn’t tell the cops he tried to shoot me so he didn’t get charged for that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
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I accidentally doused my pack of smokes in old bay seasoning
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After decades of playing poker and hundreds of thousands of dollars stolen from family, friends, and workplaces my grandpa has finally made it to the World Series of Poker. His first game is on Wednesday. He is truly the definition of this pic. NEVER STOP GAMBLING 🗣️🗣️🗣️
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Goddamn rez cops out here with one of the sickest trucks I’ve ever seen
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@best_shittalker Yeah a few hundred extra. He also bought me some clothes (hideous but I was appreciative) and he got Townes a fuckton of things lol. He pretends to hate my sweet baby but sometimes I catch him sitting on the couch petting Townes for hours.
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I was reading about fetal alcohol syndrome and lol
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@bintcrubbs Me too he’s my best friend. Dalon would always break into his house to steal shit and the only time my grandpa got mad was when Dalon stole his favorite log off the patio. I guess my grandpa put the fear of god into him because it magically appeared the next day.
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Big Sean got a chopped cheese on coco bread the ocky way in NYC🔥
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Hm ok I’m finally starting to understand why men grab their balls all day
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Everyone needs to stop being mean to Butters before I nuke Colorado
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It’s the majority stake of Lockheed Martin, Michael. What could it cost, $10?
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It’s so funny when u find out a mutual has a huge dick. Like why do you need all that AND a twitter account.
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My grandpa has a big titted filipino skype wife he’s never met because he’s not legally allowed to leave the country and his gf posts shit like this on their shared facebook page. Dudes rock
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There are cathedrals everywhere for those with the eyes to see
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If you charge me 1k for two nights I’m burning your house down with your momma trapped inside.
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Lmao if you believe the love of your life is someone who caused you an insurmountable amount of suffering you’re not gonna make it. Grow up and get over it before we put you down like old yeller.
the love of your life is the ex that hurt the most.
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Taking a benzo before work tomorrow so I don’t kill myself
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I haven’t said anything because I still haven’t been able to process this yet, but Piper passed away on Monday. I lost a massive piece of my heart this week and I feel completely shattered. Til we meet again, my sweet girl.
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To catch u up to speed, had a.good breakfast and then the torture started…
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Thinking about the boy who got lost in the woods for two days and turned into this. little dude has seen things of unimaginable horror
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It’s my birthday and I’m leaving the house for the first time today in my pajamas and last night’s makeup to buy lemonade 👍👍
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I ordered a double shot with a coke back and they fuckin gave me half the bottle…… sir it is 3pm on a Sunday
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The tribe has spoken. Time for you to leave the polycule
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Before we started dating, I warned my boyfriend that I was an extremely difficult person to be in a relationship with. He assured me he was a patient person, which I kinda laughed off because I assumed no one could be that patient.
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Crying outside Home Depot in front of all the day laborers at 7am
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And I’m smarter than I look.I’m the dumbest girl alive
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FOUGHT MY SPEEDING TICKET IN COURT REPRESENTING MYSELF AND GOT THAT SHIT THROWN OUT
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Anal.
If you're 25+ and unmarried, the fuck are you doing?.
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Like this (wizard cloak)
how do i pull off wearing a long coat without looking like a school shooter?.
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First guy to tie a woman to the train tracks probably was madddd crazy.
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Everyone say hi to my new 101 pound attack dog, Gator. Try to hurt me and he’ll rip your throat out 🗣️🗣️
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You’re laughing. My marlboro reds are now cajun flavored and you’re laughing.
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I haven’t posted a pic in a while but don’t worry we’re chillin over on this side 🧚♀️
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It’s my birthday and I’m at Disneyland with the most insane cleavage in park history.
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