queen of the rodeo
@watchheat1995
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waitin around to die. alt: @nypdsleepercell
Joined May 2023
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I ordered a coke from the indian restaurant down the street and I dunno what I expected but it wasn’t this
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So we’re just glossing over the fact that my trigger-happy methhead uncle is out roaming the streets? Yeah ok dinner sounds great see you at 8
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Making your engagement about your ex >>>>>
fiancés are like pancakes. no shame in throwing the first one out.
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Oh btw he made $1100 at the tables that night
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Of course you did you fucking retards
We stopped taking Ozempic and Wegovy — and regained more weight than we lost
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I grew up in Albuquerque while Breaking Bad was filming and one time in high school I was smoking a cigarette outside of a cafe by the trash cans and Aaron Paul walked by. I yelled “hey Aaron Paul!!” and he yelled back “hey dumpster girl!!”
What’s your favorite interaction you’ve had with a celebrity?
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@asceticgooner
Omg it did!! I couldn’t tell if they gave me diet because it tasted off but you’re probably so right
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@MadRex512
@oppositeofrural
He was mad I wouldn’t let him sell heroin out of my house so he put a few bullets in the wall and slashed my tires. He’s always in and out of jail it’s been like this for decades lol but I didn’t tell the cops he tried to shoot me so he didn’t get charged for that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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I accidentally doused my pack of smokes in old bay seasoning
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After decades of playing poker and hundreds of thousands of dollars stolen from family, friends, and workplaces my grandpa has finally made it to the World Series of Poker. His first game is on Wednesday. He is truly the definition of this pic. NEVER STOP GAMBLING 🗣️🗣️🗣️
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Goddamn rez cops out here with one of the sickest trucks I’ve ever seen
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@best_shittalker
Yeah a few hundred extra. He also bought me some clothes (hideous but I was appreciative) and he got Townes a fuckton of things lol. He pretends to hate my sweet baby but sometimes I catch him sitting on the couch petting Townes for hours
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I was reading about fetal alcohol syndrome and lol
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@bintcrubbs
Me too he’s my best friend. Dalon would always break into his house to steal shit and the only time my grandpa got mad was when Dalon stole his favorite log off the patio. I guess my grandpa put the fear of god into him because it magically appeared the next day
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Big Sean got a chopped cheese on coco bread the ocky way in NYC🔥
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Hm ok I’m finally starting to understand why men grab their balls all day
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It’s the majority stake of Lockheed Martin, Michael. What could it cost, $10?
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It’s so funny when u find out a mutual has a huge dick. Like why do you need all that AND a twitter account
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My grandpa has a big titted filipino skype wife he’s never met because he’s not legally allowed to leave the country and his gf posts shit like this on their shared facebook page. Dudes rock
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To catch u up to speed, had a
good breakfast and then the torture started…
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I haven’t said anything because I still haven’t been able to process this yet, but Piper passed away on Monday. I lost a massive piece of my heart this week and I feel completely shattered. Til we meet again, my sweet girl.
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Thinking about the boy who got lost in the woods for two days and turned into this.. little dude has seen things of unimaginable horror
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It’s my birthday and I’m leaving the house for the first time today in my pajamas and last night’s makeup to buy lemonade 👍👍
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I ordered a double shot with a coke back and they fuckin gave me half the bottle…… sir it is 3pm on a Sunday
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The tribe has spoken. Time for you to leave the polycule
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Crying outside Home Depot in front of all the day laborers at 7am
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And I’m smarter than I look
I’m the dumbest girl alive
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FOUGHT MY SPEEDING TICKET IN COURT REPRESENTING MYSELF AND GOT THAT SHIT THROWN OUT
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First guy to tie a woman to the train tracks probably was madddd crazy
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You’re laughing. My marlboro reds are now cajun flavored and you’re laughing
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Like this (wizard cloak)
how do i pull off wearing a long coat without looking like a school shooter?
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I haven’t posted a pic in a while but don’t worry we’re chillin over on this side 🧚♀️
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I need one of my slc friends to get this perfect FREE couch I found on fb marketplace or I’ll shoot myself in the head
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Logged in to my doctor’s patient portal, realized I could read the summaries from previous visits, and noticed they wrote “hypersexuality?” in the notes
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If I’m dressed like Jeff Gordon I can drive as fast as I want and no one can stop me
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I don’t like to talk about this publicly but I’m so proud I can’t stop myself this time.
We found out last week my baby sister is her high school’s VALEDICTORIAN this year. She’s so incredible she managed to stay top of her class despite being diagnosed with cancer last year ❤️
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Going thrift shopping in a wifebeater, booty shorts that say “get ready to learn chinese buddy” on the ass, and camo crocs
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Is a woman not allowed to look a lil angelic anymore
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If were in charge of choosing the next pair of detectives for TRUE DETECTIVE S4: who would you like to see?
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Just got recognized at the library as “the girl who cried a lot in here last week”
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I jokingly sent this article to my father and I think I accidentally shattered his heart in the process 🥺😭🥺😭🥺😭 I’m sorry dad ilysm
@ColinTruly
I don’t particularly care for this publication’s editorial line but I saw a screenshot of it
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I finished reading the 20th book so far this year so I’m celebrating with a shower beer and thrift shopping
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