The reality I experienced while being Obese (as someone went from BMI 36 to BMI 20)
↻and ♡︎ if u fw me
🏷️: overweight thinspo edtwt fat averagespo motivation weight loss starving omad
.-INTENSE ENVY-.
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All throughout elementary, middle and highschool my best friend was underweight and very skinny. I remember I’d stay up some nights thinking about her, feeling jealous and having a deep resentment in my heart because of how small she was, it destroyed me
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.-OVER SEXUALIZING-.
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I was desperate to feel wanted, no one had crushes on me, no one was interested in me. I began to show my cleavage more, wear shorter skirts. I would wear heavy makeup, be overly confident, just to get even a crumb of attention to compensate for being fat
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Sometimes I rlly think ppl w ana should stop commenting under bulimics posts when it’s involving bulimia. They either never take it seriously or they send sm hate because they genuinely do not understand the disease
my dad giving me, his extremely bulimic daughter (he screams at me for it) an entire pizza to “share w friends” is actually crazy. like yk i have a problem. yk what im going to do w this pizza. do u even care.
.-NEVER BEING PICKED-.
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No one ever had a crush on me, no one chose me to team up with them for sports, no one went out of their way to be my friend. I knew it was because of how I looked, I knew I would slow them down if they choose me, but it still hurt a lot
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.-FAKE WEIGHT LOSS TIPS-.
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I used to wrap cinnamon in plastic wrap and wrap it tight around my stomach n thighs n sleep in it, even though I could barely breathe, thinking that maybe id wake up skinny. I would warped the plastic around my stomach at 11 to school, I passed out
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.-SHYNESS-.
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Because I was fat I was scared that people wouldn’t view me as cute, and delicate, something I craved. I was quiet growing up, hoping people would view me was a shy timid girl, but they literally just viewed me as weird lololol
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.-SHAME-.
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When I was 9 I looked into the mirror for the first time and felt the most intense shame n embarrassment for my body. I boobs were bigger then other girls, my stomach already having an apron, I felt so gross and I didn’t know why, I didn’t get why I looked different
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.-FASHION-.
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I loved cosplay, I loved J fashion like Lolita and I loved K fashion. I cut my hair short cause of a girl in a kdrama, but my face was so round. Fashion I liked was for girls with small chests, small waists, small frames. Fashion that was just never meant for me
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.-FAMILY-.
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I was raised by my grandparents and they were very blunt. I was always told to lose weight, but was still over fed. My aunts would come over and tell me no man will want me if I don’t lose weight, that i should start dieting at the age of 10, to start working out
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.-NOT FITTING-.
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I remember the first time I bought a cosplay when I was 12 online When it came in I was so excited, but it didn’t fit, I ripped it. I felt so embarrassed even though I was alone. I never fit into the clothes I wanted right, it would sit weird on my bigger body
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.-FATPHOBIA-.
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Despite being fat I was very fatphobic, I hating seeing other fat people because I saw myself in them, I saw how others treated and talked about them, I thought I was better them because I was also apart of the mob, but I was just like them, and was projecting
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.-STRETCH MARKS-.
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After losing 80lbs I still have stretch marks all over my body, my skin is flabby and gross. They’re bright white and will never leave me, I’ll have them for ever. When I was bigger they were super red, they itched and got irritated easily too :(
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As a kid I knew I was different from my skinny friends, I knew that I was ugly compared to them. I craved every day to be like them, for boys to like me, to wear cute clothes, to eat without guilt, to not be viewed as a pig. But that didn’t happen, not till I turned 20 years old
.-ANXIETY-.
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I’ll most likely live the rest of my life being overly conscious of my weight, as to never get back to my HW. I have nightmares about waking up fat again, I get paranoid other people still view me as fat even though I’m BMI 20 now, I’m paranoid everyday
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.-CANT BORROW CLOTHES-.
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Growing up all of my friends shared clothes, whether it’s just to borrow for a day or pjs for a sleep over. I was never able to do that, infact I was never even offered to from my friends. Makes sense, I was 100 poufs heavier, I’d destroy their clothes
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.-EATING-.
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I’d never eat a lot infront of my friends, they all ate normal or small amounts so I would try to imitate them, their movements and their actions. I’d only eat half my lunch even if I was hungry. This only resulted in me over eating when I was all alone
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.-CURRENT INSECURITY-.
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I never got over my insecurities, I’m scared that everyone in my life still thinks I’m fat. I’m scared that when ppl flirt they still just do it as a joke, then laugh behind my back, I’m scared to be seen naked, to go to the beach, to try on new clothes
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.-SMELLING BAD-.
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Growing up with older people I was never taught how to properly clean myself, I never was raised by my mom so I had to learn all on my own. But I was bigger I’d sweat more, and in turn had a gross BO oder. Ever since then I became incredibly aware of my smell
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.-TREATMENT-.
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the way people treated me then vs now is very different. No one complimented me, the way i acted was weird and gross to others. but now people open the door for me, strangers compliment me, flirt with me, they think the way i act is "quirky" and "cute",
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.-HOW I WAS VIEWED-.
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I was never the “cute friend”, I’d always play the dog or grandma at recess. I was viewed as strong, I’d never need help. If my skinny friend was cold I’d be the one to give my jacket, id be viewed as the funny friend, since I couldn’t be anything else
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.-BULLYING-.
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I’m elementary school I was bullied for my weight, someone who I thought was my friend even went as far as to suggest we weigh eachother. The next day at school she told everyone how much I weighed, even though she was just as big which is crazy.
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.-COMFORT EATING-.
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Being bullied by classmates and family caused me to find comfort in food. I would excessively eat my feelings, only looking forward to the next meal I’d have. I’d wake up excited to eat, to have snacks, to over indulge since it made me feel whole and happy
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@peanutbutterjss
WHICH IS CRAZY!! Like why are you shaking my hands congratulating me like I just won the Nobel peace prize? Werent you out here saying my BMI 30 body was “thicc” and “curvy” and that I wasn’t fat?🤨
@nauseahaver
Yes constantly, everytime i go on Twitter and see all these ppl being able to eat 300-500 cals or fast constantly without binging makes me so envious and honestly rlly sad for myself
@choco_lec
Idk y’all, I get eating little infront of people makes them assume to give you less but everyone in my life who had cooked for me and seen that I only eat small portions still makes a lot of food regardless. Could be a cultural thing but still ig in my eyes this is a bit weird
@SPlDEREGGS
Yea I used to years ago before and wasted sm money cause I never lost weight. Now I order my clothes too big my accident and still waste money…nothing has changed🎵
@lenatorix
I get what u mean 😭 I gain like physical weight from drinking water while fasting but that doesn’t mean I’m “gaining weight”, either she’s rlly confused and weighs herself way too often or she’s not counting her cals right
@dainty_sofia
If bulimics are known for one thing besides purging its that we’ll get food any way we can. Most of us go absolutely broke due to souly indulging in b/p sessions and a good majority are chronic shoplifters lolol
@lilibloomcals
That’s why I’ll never make a thread on how I went down bmi 36 to 20 because like imo losing to a normal weight is so easy when ur obese, u can eat at 1500 and still lose weight quickly 😭
@choco_lec
A waste of money??? Why couldn’t he say something like he’s concerned for ur health, that’s kind of shitty…like I do get why it is a concern money wise but he could have lied😭
@5fngzdownmythrt
THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE!! Plus I wanna reassure you that there’s usually a very noticeable loss from 140 to 130/125. For me this was only a 14 lb difference (142- 128, I was also 5’2 at the time). Trust me hun, it’s very visual after 140, don’t give up!!
@vinmaez
A lot of people on this app lie about it, and some do get called out for it but a lot don’t when it’s obvious that their “fasts” aren’t true. Cause there’s no way you only lost 10 lbs during a month long fast at nealy 200 pounds, im sorry blud but that’s just not possible
One thing yall gotta realize about ppl w a high starting weight is that their goal bmi will likely lower the more they lose. I’m seeing sm ppl call those whos gbmi thats in the 20s wannarexics but like when I was bmi 35 my gbmi was 25, then became 22, then 20, then 16 and now 14
I want to lose again not just to be skinny but to have people worry about me, ask me if I’m alright, tell me to eat more, i want to be coddled again like I’m as delicate as a porcelain doll
@lyalolera
I work in a pharmacy and see older people coming in crying because they can’t receive it anymore due to the shortage nearly weekly so maybe I’m more biased but I genuinely hate peoples who use it if they don’t need it, plus there are other weight loss drugs besides ozempic
@zeroisl0ve
@cafespo
No offense but hundreds of millions of people drink just plain black coffee because it tastes good😭 it’s not a diet drink it’s just a regular drink
I literally learned how to purge from American dad when I was 13, I don’t think edtwt bulimics are out here sharing any info ppl don’t already know😭 like I don’t agree w it but why are y’all surprised
@declanlynqh
she’ll invite you to hang out when the hangout literally only consists of her doing tarot card readings to see if her ex is still in love with her
Kay not to be this person but we’re literally on Edtwt, when tf did this community get so ignorant of ppls DISORDERED MINDSETS. Sometimes I really think that a lot of y’all aren’t actually disordered and think l having an Ed is having a diet
Seeing others responses to my thread about being a high starting weight makes me wanna cry and scream and cry ngl, ik its such a bare boned thread but it makes me tear up a bit seeing the responses
@marlasversion
@edgesoncarnaval
@neogalaxite
You’re literally only thinking that because media doesn’t often high native Hawaiian actors. Ofc ur gonna think this shit despite their being hundreds of natives wanting and trying to get into acting but not a single soul is hiring them.
@Bonesinbed
@crystalsnpurge
Idk it could be the fact that you look like you were shipped in one of those dark web cursed mystery boxes that has an intense smell of BO and baby powder🤷🏻♀️
My skin and so loose and saggy, all I want to do rn is die. I wish I could go back in time and never became 200+lbs I feel like I’ve ruined my body forever
@Fawnorexia
This is going to sound insane but I don’t care if these people glorify their obesity because I feel like skinny people will become more rare and sought after if that makes sense, n those who shame skinny girls are likey just envious. Its a win win because both parties are happy
*ೃ༄ This or That ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
・❥ Niche Food Poll Addition
˗ˏˋ things I ate in the early 2000s at my low income grandmas house ´ˎ˗
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I WANNA BE MUTUALS W MY FOLLOWERS WHO R 17+ BUT ITS BEEN HARD TO GO THROUGH ALL OF THEM BECAUSE OF HOW MANY NEW PPL STARTED FOLLOWING ME SO THIS IS THE EASIEST WAY I THINK
@imnotxihan
Werent ppl saying you photoshopped ur body all because u used a face filter or smth???😭 as if 99% of this app doesn’t do the exact same thing