jawn didion
@tinndfishmonger
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Audrey... Philadelphian nationalist, armchair postmodernist, little miss Amtrak, urban haute bourgeoisie, author of AMERICAN GIRLFRIEND (@bullshitlit 2025).
South Philly
Joined January 2014
My proposal for the Democratic presidential ticket:
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@jakebrodes i’ve met maybe three long haul truck drivers and they were all serbian. one drove my dad’s car across the country. the others were Uber drivers who were thrilled to show me photos of the scenery from their truck driving days.
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Kaczynski was right because no good world should exist where I have the ability to read this on my wrist
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@ScramRatz It should be legalized for any car with a sticker that looks like this or something like “don’t honk at me I’ll kill myself” to have its catalytic converter stolen with no consequence to the thieves.
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@BrandyLJensen he has an equally attractive wife and when she stood next to him for moral support everyone started chanting CHICKEN WIFE.
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replace the rocky statue with chicken man cast in bronze
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@sonyashea3 I only recently realized that the actress who plays Eileen is Zooey Deschanel’s mom.
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@rustbeltenjoyer unfortunately because of speed regulation and infrastructure that hasn’t been updated for decades these trains will rarely actually go 150mph — it’s still an amazing experience to take Acela but the they’ll stay around the same speed as normal amtraks for most of the trip.
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you type “in” into her browser and these are the top results wyd
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@NBABabySecret NYC WHO JUST MOVED TO PHILLY TWITTER: I can’t get a chopped cheese at the bodega two blocks from my new place in Philly this city suckssss. 💬 1.5k 🔁 250 ❤️6. This tweet has been deleted.
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eating high protein breakfasts first thing every day has done amazing things for my wellbeing and i can’t even be like “nobody told me breakfast is good!” because every person ever has told me. here’s some favorites:. local pork sausage and pasture raised egg scramble with
*girl who has not routinely eaten breakfast in half a decade who is routinely eating breakfast again voice* it’s amazing how good routinely eating breakfast will make you feel.
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J.D Vance may not see your posts, but your friends with large, unsettling, and inexplicably intense blue eyes will….
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*Presidential Inauguration 2056*. “X Æ A-12 ⚔️🐁, do you solemnly swear to faithfully execute the Office of the President of the United States?”. *X Æ A-12 ⚔️🐁 with his hand on a Blu-Ray copy of Avengers: Infinity War*: Y̶͇͈͈̆̽̃̉̈́͘͝ę̸̱͚͔̹̫̆̓͆̃̐̕s̵̗̗̰͛͗̃̈́̑.
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My god I really did choose the most sexually charged photos of these guys to put on the website of sexually charged freaks huh.
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@WesFlinn going through these replies and am wildly concerned about people’s indifference to this completion of the holy ham trinity
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@georainbolt twitter user georainbolt if you’re reading this i am free on thursday night. if you would like to hang out i am free on thursday night when i am free to hang out. i am free to hang out on thursday night so if you want to hang out on thursday night i am free.
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I'm actually very happy that Tik Tok and red 40 are getting banned. Your life will improve dramatically when you aren't oneshotting your attention span with algorithmically curated short-form video slop and eating petroleum derivatives.
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@motherpilled Mormons and, oddly enough, the Amish get a disproportionate amount of hate on here from people who have likely never met a Mormon or Amish person/been in a Mormon or Amish region in their life.
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@ccmembersonly I would ask if this is Blue Mountain or Camelback but at the end of the day does it really matter in Pennsylvania. .
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@fromearrth @Iittlstrawberry imagine sending a completely offputting and vaguely concerning message with no clear response to a very normal question and then saying “they’re so weird”.
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@ettingermentum Love the ones that look like they haven’t been updated since Web 1.0 (New Mexico, West Virginia, Hawaii).
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signed a contract today. if you even care….
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the calm before the storm (finishing the rotisserie chicken)
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Maybe I'm old and out of touch but SO much new clothing right now feels so desperately overdesigned. No good dress needs ruching, sheer sleeves, and a print, all in one. No skirt needs to be asymmetrical and plaid. The clothes wear the person more often than the other way around.
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Hunter Biden singlehandedly turned White Winter Hymnal by Fleet Foxes from a guaranteed skip to the song that I affectionately call “the Hunter Biden song” when my boyfriend plays it in the car.
can’t stop thinking about Hunter Biden smoking crack with strippers and forcing them to listen to Fleet Foxes on his iphone.
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She is smart enough to know that the man with the guitar or DJ controller will NOT provide for you, but the man with a job, a boat, and the knowledge to change a tire WILL. some of you could learn from this.
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rip henry kissinger you would have loved to see my magnum opus with queen elizabeth, shinzo abe, xxxtentacion, and ted kackzynski
i’m about to create the craziest image that life has allowed me to up to this point.
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i literally did this first
the wedding i went to last night had an open bar with free cigs 🥰
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@kathrynswint @ScramRatz possums and raccoons will be the “heckin chonker doggos” of the most annoying zillenials to grace this earth.
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Today on the California Zephyr through Colorado. Are you guys seeing this
The first 36 hours… took the Lake Shore Limited along the beautiful Hudson while a storm rolled in… after sleeping through Ohio and Indiana I spent the midday layover gawking at Chicago’s skyline and eating borscht… now in a snowstorm in Iowa. Saw a bald eagle.
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Every day that I wake up on this earth I thank God that I never moved to New York City.
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@ellle_em kinda similar — in 2016 my sister classically conditioned our family cat for a 10th-grade psychology project. played the "circles" ringtone on an iphone and fed him some water from a can of tuna. to this day, he will come sprinting to that ringtone even if there is no tuna water.
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Teeth-grittingly annoying narrator, overly self-aware of his shortcomings, more willing to be embarrassed by his efforts to retort accusations of mediocrity than to actually improve himself. The ultimate novel-by-poet. Campus-less campus novel. Trite, insistingly self-important.
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everyone on linkedin talks like they have a loaded gun being held to their head and the person holding the loaded gun is capitalism.
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@mrsdobbins_ I use only unsalted butter unless a recipe specifically calls for salted (but that’s usually in baking, and I don’t bake a lot). Unsalted butter gives me more control over how much I salt I use to season it and prevents over-salting.
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@marinadovexo @minorstroke I haven’t latched onto why Chapelle Roan got so popular SO fast but this really explains her whole deal to me a lot better than I’ve understood it otherwise.
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how many more instagram photoshoots taken on a shitty digital point-and-shoot with brighter flash than when that angel appeared to mary and joseph of girls wearing nightgowns in pink bedrooms putting on lipstick or reading the bible or crying or whatever can we endure. .
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in the context of “go piss,” the noun “girl” is gender neutral.
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Birthday dinner for my bf… a rare three-dish cooking post
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My ideal man:.- parks that car.- drops that phone.- sleeps on the floor.- dreams about me.
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i went to the death grips show and everyone knew you (this is not a good thing).
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if you want a girlfriend or boyfriend you have to stop gameifying attraction with dating apps, stop quantifying entirely qualitative factors, and actually be very normal about things. it is possible!.
“if you want a girlfriend you have to pretend she’s a 10/10” “if you want a girlfriend find a girl that’s a needy 8/10” has anyone ever experienced Love.
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Received a B&N gift card for Christmas… this should get me through Memorial Day
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chloe cherry is the most important thing to happen in lancaster, pa since the 15th president of the united states, james buchanan.
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What I think us coastal elites fail to grasp about the PNW is that Portlandia was not a satire. It was more of a slice-of-life documentary.
BREAKING: Marie Gluesenkamp Perez is one of very few Democrats who won in a heavily red district. Make sure every American sees this video showing off her successful playbook.
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ohhhhhh it's an intimate work about digital girlhood? should we tell everyone? should we throw a party? should we invite petra collins and the red scare girls?.
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Merry Christmas to my friends and followers - from my debatable focaccia and I 🥂
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i live in philadelphia and there are almost no public spaces open past 6pm except for bars and restaurants. any semblance of a "third space" such as a diner, coffee shop, library, etc. that caters to all ages in the evening and night is nonexistent.
The death of the classic American 24 hour diner has been one of the worst impacts of covid.
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i’m not reading the age gap discourse in the cut. i’m not reading the 19 year old stanford kid in the atlantic. i’m basking in the spring sun, watching flower petals waft by in the breeze. having a coffee. i’m watching freckles appear on my shoulders again.
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Red wine-braised short ribs and homemade mashed potatoes for dinner last night
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i think the last great romance writers are middle-aged wife guys on twitter. so in love that they literally cannot miss
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That one girl who does not play about Creedence Clearwater Revival.
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@pwiscila when there’s a random sprig of dried rosemary and a lock of hair in a vintage altoids tin i know i understand her.
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my freshman year at college an administrator told my parents i’d never graduate because of my mental health. anyways, i’m graduating with a double major in creative writing and american studies and my petty dad is mailing that administrator printed copies of my grad photos.
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You guys will never guess who bought another USA Rail Pass will be going from Philadelphia to Utah to Los Angeles to Albuquerque to Chicago and back to Philadelphia on an Amtrak train starting a month from tomorrow. you will NEVER guess.
Every time another American takes a 24+ hour train ride on Amtrak, an angel gets its wings.
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@pissbaby1234 bob haircut with layers. use medium to large foam rollers to do an overnight wet set with setting spray (i use suavecito). brush it out with the biggest paddle brush you can find. it takes a few tries to get the wet set — towel dry you hair. smaller rollers = 1920s film star.
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She was fearless and crazier than him. She was his queen, and God help anyone who dared to disrespect his queen. .
The only two people who ever did it with total authenticity
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i’m a bullshit lit defender
some people shouldn’t write poetry.
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Once again I am reading McCarthy in one sitting without putting the book down
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So we can confirm that gigafrying nerves in the lower spine + an LSD blitzkrieg on brain cells + getting into e/acc and Kaczynski + a hospital bill from back surgery + no longer being on parents health insurance at age 26 = shooting a CEO with a 3D printed cattle gun.
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@finalgrlcomplex thank god we’re at this discussion.
ohhhhhh it's an intimate work about digital girlhood? should we tell everyone? should we throw a party? should we invite petra collins and the red scare girls?.
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Gonna be so real… I think I should have started Houellebecq’s bibliography with a different book.
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6,000 miles on a train for two weeks starts NOW
How it feels to tell people that I’m taking a train to Utah next week
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The perfect amount of alcohol for writing is zero drinks (any more dulls creativity and muddles word recall) while the perfect amount of alcohol for reading is two drinks (slows me down to the sweet spot of taking my time with the text and giddily cherishing the word selection).
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For Athwart @Athwart_Mag, I wrote about the David Lynch and his lifetime of earnest artistry. I am honored to eulogize one of the greatest deliberately American filmmakers to do it. Rest in peace forever 🕊️.
Audrey Lee (@tinndfishmonger) reflects on the memory of David Lynch: “An Absurdly American Life”.
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Headbutting the corner of a table must feel sooo good as a cat.
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Not to sound so disaffected, coolly withdrawn and not like other girls, but were you guys really looking at each other’s likes on a regular basis?.
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feeling stuck? . lapsing into self-destructive habits? . the abysmal february weather of the northeast getting you down? . try getting on a train across america for five to eight days. you certainly will not regret getting on a train across america for five to eight days.
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