Gareth
@thehandofbeadle
Followers
5K
Following
26K
Statuses
8K
Your dad getting ready to do a tweet about a "Superb Owl" tonight. He's amazed nobody has thought of this before. It's definitely going to go viral and possibly win back your mum
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When you're taking your morning dump after a night on the cans
I’M LETTING EVERYTHING OUT BUT MY TEARS
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Kanye West was pretty normal until he went on Friday Night Project and met Justin Lee Collins. Makes you think
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In your opinion, what’s the most iconic sports photograph ever taken? I’ll start:
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Can't wait for Guardiola to fully flip and go rampaging round the Manchester storm drains like a Catalan Raoul Moat
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Not sure why Northern Rail had to put up a warning about severe disruption to services. That just applies to all weekdays
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Wonder if these guys do lectures at the Stephen Bear University
Nighttime erection data from my 19-year-old son, @talmagejohnson_, and me. His duration is two minutes longer than mine. Raise children to stand tall, be firm, and be upright.
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@WeahsCousin Just shoots himself in the foot all the time. Players have a great game then he drops them. Others stink the place out every week (Sibbick) and never get dropped. He's just a bad manager
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Starmer probably just uses a bottle of Matey
Putin, 72, 'takes secret break at mountain hideout where he bathes in blood of Siberian stags' ahead of war talks with Trump
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We should all get a day off work for Dangerous Danan's funeral. We got one for the Queen and she was nowhere near as entertaining
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You don't get this on Bluesky do you
@TwisterFilm @damilne1 That’s the bastard Blair replaced me with as a defence minister in 2003. A fucking nonce.
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