Cigaretta
@thedirtbird
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Rory Gilmore had a yellow backpack so I got a yellow backpack
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Joined April 2009
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Pinned Tweet
John Goodman? More like John Goodactor. He’s a good actor
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When you are craving sushi and then you eat sushi… that’s a top 5 human experience
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I love watching glass blowing videos because the process is so thrilling and beautiful and mesmerizing and then they show the final product and it’s the ugliest piece of shit I ever saw
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Ireland is so funny because I couldn’t tell from the commercials that it was set in the past
100 years ago today, Colm Doherty decided he no longer wanted to be friends with Pádraic Súilleabháin
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@MariaDeCotis
When I had a polyp in my uterus, I asked my doctor follow up questions like, does this lead to other health issues or can this be prevented in the future somehow and the doctor was basically like 🤷🏻♀️. It’s shocking how little research there is for women’s health
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These duck designs are so good
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Kamala Harris figured out the way to get paid on a UCB stage
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Logan Roy doesn’t have social media so he told me to share this
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If they don’t want us to be socialists they shouldn’t have made Robin Hood so hot
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Comedy isn’t about pushing boundaries, it’s about Conan O’Brien playing 19th century baseball
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I’ll never stop saying it!
do y’all have “forbidden” pairs you think look alike but also know NO one else is gonna agree?
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Barney is always live action
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New Batman villain dropped
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[to the tune of "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks]
🎶 I'm a bitch I'm a bitch I'm a bitch I'm a bitch I'm a bitch I'm a bitch 🎶
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I’m at a liberal coffee shop and everyone is talking about how much they hate dr. Seuss
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Weekend is for depression, weekdays are for anxiety. It’s called compartmentalizing!!!
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Kiwis eating kiwis… my god
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I’m proposing to serve the rest of my quarantine on Oscar Isaac’s lap
BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell proposes that she serve her pretrial detention in a luxury Manhattan hotel.
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The lack of media literacy is astonishing. They think any use of Americana imagery and iconography is an endorsement. This is why we need liberal arts
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I want to update Twitter to say that I’m currently catsitting a cat who mostly hisses at me but today she let me pet her for the first time 👍🏻
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Follow up: my avocado-intolerant ass flew too close to the sun 😩
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Me: lol Bloomberg spent all that money just to make a fool of himself
Also me: *takes improv classes for years*
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@robbiemay33
@brentmulligan
@luinalaska
@JamesMuchLesser
The point is she didn’t get any of these instructions but 2 hours before she is supposed to check out
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Student loan forgiveness doesn’t go far enough. Let’s make college illegal
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what if the string quartet playing as the Titanic sank was actually an improv team. idk, diff vibe for sure!!!!!!!
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Just leave New York. You don’t have to make a proclamation about it
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This looks like a still from the movie where it turns out the line judge is a trained assassin
Oh to be sexy Rachel Weisz and sexy Daniel Craig watching the Wimbledon Men's Final in their nice sunglasses
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Can’t wait to read this on my phoney
J.D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye will be published as an ebook for the first time
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this metaphor is too on point, I would say be more subtle in the rewrite
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@FCardamenis
“I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!” —Grandpa Simpson
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To be even clearer: I haven’t seen this movie and I’m only talking about the commercials
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The second rule of fight club is let's all have fun out there guys
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This is the kind of sports journalism I crave
moon in libra forming a conjunction to Messi’s midheaven as Argentina took the World Cup
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Cats work in BODEGAS. Dogs work as COPS. Can’t deny these facts
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@intothecrevasse
I once watched a q&a Jason Reitman did with college students and someone asked him what advice he had for aspiring filmmakers and he said “be the son of a famous director.” I appreciated it
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“Star Wars isn’t for us nerds anymore”
*evidence is the nerdiest video ever made*
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We need to be prepared to have the conversation about how Simone Biles is the greatest athlete of all time. Not greatest gymnast. Not greatest female athlete. Greatest athlete
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This hair
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yes Bill Clinton had a grand ole time with the balloons but Al Gore is weeping at the waste
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I watched all of Sex and the City this summer for this moment
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The brotherhood among people who don’t watch Game of Thrones is the strongest bond I know
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With the new Joker trailer out, we’re one step closer to one of my favorite Onion headlines coming true
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I was at this show, and happily was one of the people shouting “bless you” at her. An honor and a privilege.
I think about this moment often and I believe it’s such a testament to her star power that she garnered headlines simply by sneezing
8 years ago today, Beyoncé embarked on the Formation World Tour.
It was met with critical and commercial acclaim
The first female all- stadium world tour in history
Named the best tour of the decade by several publications and one of the best tours of all time.
Broke
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